27. Snow Day

Chapter 27: Snow Day

It's been getting colder lately, so I thought I'd treat my froggy fam to a nice hot breakfast. I've spent the last hour gathering eggs (don't ask from what) and fresh vegetables and herbs from the farm so that I can craft them the famous Boonchuy Omelet, renowned across… well, the Boonchuy family, but that's enough for me.

The Boonchuy Omelet requires three large chicken eggs (or two spi- uh, whatever kind I'm using), crushed basil leaves, parsley, a dash of black pepper, and – no, I'm not giving all my secrets away) combined with fresh julienned vegetables sauteed beforehand. There are a lot of complicated steps to make sure the Boonchuy omelet reaches optimal fluffiness and deliciousness. The eggs have to be whisked at just the right angle, for just the right amount of time, at just the right speed, to achieve perfect texture.

The point is, I don't make these for just anyone.

I was pretty nervous about whether the Plantars would be into them; it's kind of hard judging what another species' tastes are, something I got a crash course in during my brief time as head chef of Lily Pad Thai. But it looked like I didn't have to worry this time because HP and Polly went absolutely nuts over my creation. When someone tells you that everything they've eaten until that point tasted like garbage, it's one heck of an ego boost.

Unfortunately, I didn't get to eat mine before Sprig came charging in like it was the end of the world. It was clear that something big was happening, and everyone else seemed aware that something big was happening, and that we needed to go, now, but apparently there was no time to explain what was happening to the poor dumb human caught in the middle of it all. I had just enough time to wrap up my breakfast before we ran off with Sprig howling like a siren. That is one weird talent.

It wasn't until everyone gathered in the town square that I finally got an explanation: we were approaching something called "Hiber Day" where it gets so cold that everyone goes into instant hibernation for a full day. When it's over, everyone feels fully refreshed, but every year, one person vanishes. Because what's a Wartwood tradition without the grim spectre of death hanging over it?

I remembered hearing something about this sort of thing in biology class… some species like reptiles and amphibians go into hibernation when it gets too cold. I've sorta come to think of the people around me as just frog-shaped people, but every once in a while, I get reminded of some very majr differences, and this was one of them. They simply can't maintain an internal temperature like..

Like I can.

…this was it then. All this time I've been wondering why fate brought me here to this particular place at this particular time. Was it just a some sort of random thing, like destiny farted? Or was I here for a reason?

But at that moment, I knew. I was supposed to be here. It was my duty to guard this town and make sure that, if only this one time, no one would die this Hiber Day.

Maybe I was promising more than I could deliver, but the look on everyone's faces when I promised to guard them filled me with a sense that all of this was meant to be. Once the town outcast, I would become the town savior.

Since Hiber Day wasn't supposed to be until tomorrow, everyone went off to get ready, They were all going to gather back at the square then so I could guard them more easily.

One problem with that: Sprig must have miscalculated, because he was off by about half a day. Before I even realized it, everyone but me was frozen solid in a big block of ice. I didn't think hibernation worked like cold water in an old cartoon, but here we are.

You would think having to round up everyone in town and drag them all back to the town square would be a big pain, but you'd be surprised at how little frozen frogs weight. Even Mayor Toadstool was no problem. Either that or I'm way stronger than I thought I was.

Once I had made sure I had everyone, there was nothing left to do but wait.

And wait.

Annnnnd… waiiiiiit…

As the minutes ticked by like they were hours, I realized that promising to guard everyone in town and actually doing it were two very different things. For one, there's the vast amounts of time with nothing to look forward to but staring at a bunch of frozen frogs. And then there's the crippling loneliness of knowing you're the only conscious person around. I found my memories drifting back to those early days in the cave, when I had no idea if anyone was out there, if I was ever going to see anyone again. Humans are social creatures. We don't do well all by ourselves. Especially when we had responsibilities to deal with. I was gonna go mental if I had to do this all day.

That's when I got a really bad idea. I thawed Sprig out.

Now, bear in mind I was super bored and super lonely and wasn't thinking anywhere close to straight. I was starved for companionship and distraction and didn't really consider there was a reason why nobody ever had the brilliant idea of staying near a fire so they don't freeze.

Frogs… they don't really function well in the cold weather. Imagine… imagine someone not sleeping for several days. And then they get drunk. That's the kind of thing I was dealing with.

Still, even a loopy Sprig was someone to talk to and have fun with. And if we used the townspeople as bowling pins and makeshift sleds and acted out my hastily-written one-act rom-com with them, well, it's not like they were conscious of it, so it was a victimless crime! After all, it's not like snow days are a common thing in LA. Sledding and snowball fights aren't something I generally get to do, so now that I had the chance, I was going to milk it.

But I still had a duty to uphold. So, after a reasonable amount of winter fun it was time to take a full inventory. One by one, I checked everyone off my list.

Everyone was present and accounted for… everyone except the one I should have paid the most attention to. Polly.

What kind of town protector gets so distracted she doesn't even notice her baby sister disappearing?

Polly was gone, but she wasn't lost, yet. It may have been a bad idea to thaw Sprig, but it was about to pay off, because even as loopy as he was, he could still do one thing I was completely hopeless at: tracking.

Even with the weather, and his overchilled nervous system, working against him, Sprig was able to track Polly to a cave on the very outskirts of Frog Valley, where we not only found her, but the creature that took her, a giant weasel. Made sense; what else would be up and around on a day like this but another mammal?

While Sprig grabbed Polly, I tried to lure the weasel away. Easier said than done. The thing was fast, very fast. Odds were it could take both of us out before we even had a chance to react.

That's when I stumbled onto the reason why it had grabbed Polly, and why it was so aggressive.

She was a mom.

The weasel wasn't just trying to survive, she was trying to provide for her babies. Without food, in ths cold, they were going to starve.

That's when I remembered that, with all the stuff that had been going on, I'd never actually eaten my breakfast.

Eh… I could always make another omelet. The babies needed it more.

And so ended my first time as town defender. I almost messed up big time, but in the end, everyone was safe and healthy… well, Sprig was probably going to need a long nap, but he'd be fine eventually.

I probably could have said nothing, and no one would ever have known anything had gone wrong.

So why did I?

I don't know. I had nothing to gain from it. For once, I had everybody cheering my name. I had absolutely no reason to admit my mistakes.

So why did I?

I… guess it's a mystery.

Fortunately, there were no hard feelings… at least until Sprig showed off the pictures he'd taken while we were messing around with everyone's frozen bodies. Why did I lend him my phone? Why?

I'm gonna need to make a lot of people a lot of omelets to make up for this…

A.N.: This is a fun one! Anne's still in transition from being a brat to the heroic figure she eventually becomes; she still messes up, but she owns up to it right away instead of having to have it dragged out of her. Episodes like this are why I side-eye anyone who dismisses Season 1; this sort of growth is necessary to build the characters, and dismissing it as "filler" is one of my major pet-peeves about what cartoon fandom has become.

Jose: True

Next: Cracking Mrs. Croaker