38. Anne of the Year

Chapter 38: Anne of the Year

This morning, there's this huge gathering in the town square. I wasn't aware of anything special coming up, but apparently today was the day they picked the Frog of the Year. Supposedly this whole town votes on it, but nobody bothered to tell me… not that it would matter anyway, right? This is supposed to be about picking the frog that's demonstrated the most selflessness and charity, but we all know that's bull. My experience with elections in Amphibia has led me to believe that this one, like all the others, was rigged from the beginning, and that Frog of the Year was probably going to either go to some big donor to Mayor Toadstool's campaign or, more likely, Toadstool himself.

Mayor Toadstool's going up on the stage to announce the winner, and just like I thought, it's some sap named Anne Boonchuy. Probably gave Toadstool a huge bri- wait, what?

Me?

I'm the Frog of the Year? How? There's like one qualification and I don't even meet it!

This is kind of overwhelming, actually, in the last few months I've gone from being the town monster to being grudgingly tolerated to people actually starting to kind of like me, but I wasn't prepared for this. They chose me? Out of everybody? – which granted is like eighty people but still? Me? I'm not sure how I feel about this.

Oh, wait, yeah, I am sure: YES! In your face, anyone who ever doubted me! Especially you, Toadstool! Heh, more like Toad-TOOL! I could tell how salty he was that I got chosen. That makes this all the sweeter.

So, tradition holds that the Frog of the Year has to throw a big party for the whole town. Seems simple enough. I've seen enough of those party-planner reality shows to know all the elements that go into the perfect party.

Catering: I've got Stumpy on that detail. He should be able to handle it now that he actually cares about things like flavor and presentation.

Decorations: Felicia and Loggle should be able to take care of that.

Exclusivity: well, I don't want to actually keep anyone out, but the appearance of exclusivity will lend the whole affair a degree of class, and it'll give Polly something to do.

Entertainment: Hop Pop is always going on about how he dreamed of being an actor, so I think he'd make a pretty good MC for the evening. As long as he doesn't attempt to rap. *cringe*

And, finally, spectacle! Okay, not really, but I'm just using it as an excuse to finally get Sprig to frog up and ask Ivy out already! It's been almost two weeks since we finally got his engagement to Maddie broken, but he's been too nervous to take the next step. I'm hoping forcing the issue by putting him on the spot will finally build up his courage enough.

This is going to be an awesome party, and I am totally not gonna get like those crazy girls on Quinceañera Quandary or My Big Fat Bat Mitzvah who go all overboard and turn into Partyzillas. No way that's happening to me. I'm gonna keep everything nice and modest.

Ahhh! What was I thinking?!

I thought things were going okay! Stumpy's food was a bit simple, but it would do. HP's monologue was kinda dad-jokey but I was sure he could tighten it up a bit. And Sprig was still freaking out about asking Ivy out, but I was sure he could get it together in time, right?

That's when Mayor Toad-Tool came by, just in time to see Polly trying to use the velvet rope barrier as a pair of nunchakus. And the look on his face – also the words he said, but mostly the look on his face, that smug, smug look that was sure I would fail – at that point I knew that his wouldn't do. None of this would do! The food needed to be fancier! Sashimi! And a chocolate fountain! And maybe ketchup, gravy and ranch fountains! Maybe not the ketchup, but I definitely need the ranch. Do frogs have ranch? Mental note: invent ranch. And the entertainment was too weak too. HP's gonna need to go riskier. Maybe not blue – there will be tadpoles present – but he's gonna need stronger material. Maybe improv? And we'll need a DJ too. Are there frog DJs? Gotta look into that. And jugglers! Fire jugglers! I see lanterns. Lanterns everywhere. No…. fireflies. Fireflies trapped in bubbles! For that "natural, yet opulent" look. And I'm gonna need a statue! Loggle already made one, but it's not nearly cool enough! It needs to be cooler! About… 20% cooler. And that doesn't even get into what I'm gonna wear! Do I have time to get a tux tailored? I gotta make time! And get Fern to do my hair while I'm at it! This whole thing has got to scream "Anne Boonchuy!" That'll show Toad-Tool how selfless I am!

I still can't believe how fast it all went wrong.

Granted, part of the blame goes to Stumpy for thinking that "get fresh fish" meant "get a giant, live, and very uncooperative mudskipper," but maybe I should have been more specific.

And the rest was all me. HP bombed on stage because I made him throw out his script, Sprig froze because I pushed him too hard, Wartwood does not get house music, and the party was in general just a complete dud.

And then it got worse. The mudskipper got loose and went after the fire jugglers that I had insisted on, and one lost their grip on their torch, which hit the big wooden statue that I'd commissioned from Loggle, which, thanks to the cool pose I'd demanded, was lopsided and toppled over easily.

So, now the party was on fire. And NOT in a good way.

Well, I could sit there and wallow in self-loathing until the fire cooked us all, or I could at least save everybody. Luckily, I'm a bit better at improv than Hop Pop. I needed mobility, and something to put out the fire. Thank frog the party provided both. If I could take control of the mudskipper, It was big enough to carry all the guests. And the chocolate fountain was perfect to smother the flames. Ranch probably would've worked better, but it would smell awful. The problem was I couldn't aim the fountain while also controlling the mudskipper. I was going to need someone to be my "gunner", and they were gonna have to be someone strong. I had a perfectly ironic choice in mind. Toadstool. He started this mess by getting all in my head, he was gonna help me get out of it… especially since I doubt Toad Tower would take kindly to him letting the town burn down.

And well, he didn't disappoint. Between the two of us, we managed to save everyone in town and put out the fire before too much damage was done. Y'know, if I didn't know better, I'd think that on some level, Toadstool might actually… care about the town and its people?

…nahhhh.

Well, after all that, I was ready to officially abdicate my position as Frog of the Year, since I was pretty sure nearly burning the town down was an immediate disqualifier for an award that was supposed to be all about selflessness, and I might as well get a head-start on leaving town before I was officially run out of it.

So I was pretty shocked when everyone – even the mayor – refused to let me. They hadn't given me the award for being selfless, but for… I guess you could call it character growth?

I wasn't sure what to say. They talked about how I'd left a big impact on the town… but really, it's been them who made an impact on me. Sprig's shown me the meaning of friendship… Polly's shown me how to be a big sister… HP's shown me responsibility… Wally's taught me to stop worrying about how everyone sees me… Stumpy's given me the joy of taking pride in my culture and sharing it with others… Maddie's taught me not to judge people by first impressions… even Mayor Toadstool's taught me about not holding grudges.

It's not Wartwood that wouldn't be the same without me… it's me that wouldn't be the same without them.

Well, at that point, we decided to salvage what was left of the party. At least some of the buffet hadn't been destroyed, and there was free chocolate pretty much everywhere. I have to say, parties are a lot more fun without the pressure of having to make them perfect.

And it finally happened! Ivy asked Sprig out! You go girl! Excuse me, I have about ten minutes of intense squeeing to indulge in before I continue.

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

All right, that's enough.

So, funny thing: Just before I wrote this part, Toadie came to tell me that a friend of mine was here to see me. It's weird because pretty much everyone I know in Amphibia is already here. I don't know who it could possibly be.

…unless… could it be?...

Anyway, I just wanted to get this all down before I see who it is. BRB, journal!

A.N.: Well, this isn't where the episode canonically ends, but since it leads directly into the next, I thought I'd cut off here.

Wow! I know Reunion is the big payoff for the season, but it really all starts here. This episode, even more so than the next, really sums up Anne's character growth and the impact she and Wartwood have had on each other.

Hyena 11223: Thanks!

Jose: You know, Sprig, we really are the last of us.

Schweenieboy: There's always money in the banana stand.

Next: This is it! Reunion… part 1! Yeah, I'ma need two chapters for this.