22. Chapter 22: Draco

So many people said I was mean to leave it where I did... XD So I updated sooner than I would have (I was afraid of your wraths X.x). Well, here's the next bit... hopefully it's alright. I can't write snog scenes too well. You'll have to make do with this. :D And of course, I'd never ruin the fun by posting a Ron chapter... -Shudders-

Btw... no, no shagging yet... if I did that it would just be pure lust, wouldn't it?

& I present to you...

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10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy

Chapter 22

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DRACO

Well, well, well. Never thought I'd end up like this. Stuck in a broom closet with Hermione Granger, of all people. But I must say, it could be worse.

Much worse.

So I suppose I'm quite lucky. And while I'm here, might as well make the most of it...

I lean over. "Oooh, this is gonna be fun," I smirk as I push her against the side of the closet. I'm not sure why I am doing this to Hermione. I mean, come on, she's the school bookworm. How low can I get? But somewhere in the last few weeks, with her attempting to murder me every few days... I suppose I've started tolerating her.

And I said tolerating, not liking. So don't get any weird ideas.

"ARGH!" she yells, attempting to push me away. "I'm going to call Filch! Get off me!"

After her shouts, we both fall silent and listen hard. Is anyone coming to get us out? I mean, sure, it's nice in here, but I'd like to get out before my bladder erupts. I shudder slightly at the prospect, and press my ear to the door. "Can you hear anything?" I ask her. Granger shakes her head. I sigh. "Oh well. Guess I'll have to continue..."

Her eyes widen. "Hey, you're serious?" She scrambles to one side. I follow her, getting closer every time. She moves to the other side, and I keep up - until our noses are touching. Hermione slumps down and chuckles. "Oh man. What a great thing to do in a closet. Get raped by a horny, stupid Slytherin idiot..."

"Hey... I am not stupid! And I don't really want to rape you, you know. Don't flatter yourself." I cross my arms, even though we're forehead to forehead. Well, I wouldn't really mind shagging Granger, but I don't want to rape her. That's just low. I don't need to rape anybody, with my looks.

"Hmph" is all she says to my comment. She glares at me, her legs still struggling against mine as we gaze not-so-lovingly into each other's eyes. "Then can you explain what you're doing on top of me?"

My smirk returns. "To sharpen up my kissing skills, of course." With that, I turn my head to the right slightly and press my mouth to hers. For a moment, Hermione does nothing. Then all of a sudden, she jerks violently around as if she has a spasm. I lock her arms down and grin to myself. To an outsider looking at the cupboard, it must look like there's a boggart in here.

"Let me go!" she mumbles between pauses. I shake my head doggedly and keep going. Soon she stops her fighting and slowly but surely, starts returning the snog. Inside my head, I laugh in glee and triumph. Hah! I win this round. "You asswipe! Stop it!" Ironically, at the same time, she is now kissing me back quite voluntarily.

"Mind your language, young lady," I snarl, stopping for breath for a brief moment. This time, to my immense surprise, Granger gets bold and pulls me towards her, fingers twined in my hair.

I can feel her lips moving into a smile. "You sounded like Professor McGonagall just then," she teases.

I roll my eyes and there is silence for a long time as we snog (I hadn't forgotten how good she is) frantically, anxious about anybody barging in. After a while, when the pace slows down a bit, and our lips are tired from mashing against each other's, I move my lips to her ear. Mmmm. Nice. "Not likely, Granger." A very later reply, but a reply all the same. I kiss a line down from the back of her ear to the base of her neck. I nuzzle her velvet skin. Wonder what kind of moisturiser she uses. Her skin is fucking amazing.

She squeaks and grips my shoulder. "Eep! Not there! Draco, stop."

Not really listening, and rather absorbed in my activity, I shrug nonchalantly and move my lips lower and lower. "Hmm, right." Almost unconsciously, my hand pulls back the jacket she is wearing over a spaghetti strap top and trace circles on her arm.

She shudders but pushes me off, this time with real force. "I told you, not any lower," she scolds. Putting her jacket back on, and adjusting her top straps, she scowls at me. "I was humoring you. Don't take it too seriously. I'm not your next plaything - not like Pansy."

This time, I shudder. "Pansy is not my plaything. Sure, she's pretty and has a great body, but her personality..." I make a gagging noise. "She's so eager to please any decent-looking guy that it disgusts me."

Hermione raises an eyebrow. "Oh, so even though she digusts you, you still go out with her?" Patting her ear absently, she pulls herself up into a proper sitting position - I had made her nearly lie down when I kissed her. "Seriously, you have no taste, Draco. There's loads of other pretty girls out there. Take Parvati, for one. Parvati and her twin, Padma. They're both beauties. But no, you just have to go out with a Slytherin pureblood."

"Hey, well, at least Pansy can afford to pay for all our dates," I shoot back. "Unlike some redheaded pauper that I can name, but won't. Anyway, I dumped her ages ago. We'd only gone out on about three dates altogether, because we were a couple for such a short time." I wouldn't mind seducing Parvati or Padma, but they're bimbos. Not very interesting. Not like some people... who happen to be in a closet with me at this moment. I think of more things I can do. Obviously Granger will object to any more snogging, but that doesn't mean all my options are closed...

She looks a bit angry at my stab at Weasley. "Well, sorry if not all of us are as well-off as you, Draco. Some of us have brains instead. I'm sure there's not nearly as much between your ears than Ron." She crosses her arms, hmphing at me.

I laugh. "Oh yeah, then how do you explain all the OWLS I got last year? The most in Slytherin, and Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw." I make a face at her, even though she probably can't see it. I consider casting Lumos, but since I'll need my wand later for my 'punishment' for Hermione, I decide against it. Oh yes. I'd thought out the punishment. I assure you it will be very interesting. At least, for me. "Couldn't beat you, though. I suppose the bookworm will always win when it comes to grades."

Hermione sighs. "You make that sound like a bad thing. What's wrong with being a bookworm? Nothing, as far as I can see."

"Whatever you say," I answer slyly. Silently I reach for my wand and mouth the words that would give me handcuffs and chains. To my pleasure I hear a slight crinkling noise. Good. It seems to have worked.

"Should we try and bang for help?" she says after a while. Raising her hand to pound the door, Granger's wrist is suddenly pulled back by the chains that secure her handcuffs to a wall. "Hey..." she tugs at the chain to pull it out, but to no avail. "What the-" She whirls to face me. "DRACO!" she screeches madly. "Why did you put me in handcuffs! Ones that allow little movement, at that!"

I smirk. "Why do you think, my dear, smart Hermione?" I slowly shuffle towards her and conjure up a jar of raspberry jam. I lift the jar to the light. "Lumos! Here's a hint." I smile wickedly when realization dawns in her eyes and she groans. "Nox."

"Oh no. This had better not be what I think it is." She shifts around, trying to free herself, but the chains are pulled tight. "Dammit!"

"More amusement for me," I drawl. "I'm bored, anyhow." I wave my wand a raspberry jam splats onto her neck. I lean in and lick it off. She twitches indignantly but doesn't make a sound. More splatters. More licking. After a while, Hermione looks as if she is bursting to do something, anything, but not stay still. A muffled squeal emits from her as I unzip her jacket again.

"Don't go there," she warns. "Or I'll cast Dynamora. My wand is pointed at your crotch anyway. One well-said spellword should set it off."

"Ooouch," I say, grinning, as the jam dribbles down, threatening to stain the edge of her top. I move in to gently run my tongue over it just in time. She shudders. "No worries. Your threats are more than enough to keep me away. But meanwhile, might as well have fun with what I can." I stroke her hair with my clean hand. It's not particularly nice to have jam in your hair, as I know from personal experience. So I'll spare her the annoyance of trying to keeping bees away from her head.

What happens after that - well, I suppose you can guess. More snogging (she didn't object that much), more fun with raspberry jam. Eventually my knees start hurting from kneeling over her for so long, and I lie down next to her. "Urgh. So painful," I complain. "You should thank me for your good time." I release her from her handcuffs and she lays her hands down, shaking them.

"Who said I had a good time? My hands hurt like hell," she grumbles, but I can hear a hint of a grin in her voice. Hermione huffs a little bit from all that activity and rolls to one side so I have more space. I smirk and shift over, and put an arm around her shoulder to roll her back towards me. Her head ends up on my shoulder, just under my chin. "Leave me to sleep in peace," she murmurs, rolling the other way, but before she can I pull her back. She kicks a bit at my shins - quite hard, actually.

I wince in pain but don't let her go, instead, lying back and closing my eyes. "Stop kicking me. It hurts. Go to sleep, Hermione. You can act as a replacement for my teddy bear."

She chuckles. "You don't even have a teddy bear, Draco. At least, I hope you don't. That would be scary." She sighs contentedly and relaxes. "You're right. I'm too tired to struggle anymore." A pause. "Goodnight, Malfoy."

I smile to myself, eyes still closed. "Goodnight."

The next morning finds us sleeping soundly in the cupboard - still. I guess it's a good thing no-one walked in on us or anything. That would have been hard to explain. I still don't really know my feelings for Hermione; it's somwhat mixed. Sometimes I feel like snogging her randomly on the spot as a way of greeting, other times I feel like doing a karate chop on her head. Of course, I've done neither, but that's how I feel about her.

I wonder how she thinks of me.

Not that I really care or anything. Honestly.

I am lying sprawled out, or at least as sprawled out as I can in a small space like this. Hermione has curled up like a cat and is still in the same position as when I last saw her. Maybe my arm around her helped with that part. I glance at her watch. It reads 10:13am. I gently shake her awake. "Hermione. Get up."

She moans and opens one bleary eye. "Wha-?" Like me, she glances at her watch and her eyes widen. "Oh, dammit! It's almost time for lunch! Harry and Ron will be desperately looking for me by now." She sits up and stretches, yawning. "I really think we should call for help."

I sigh. "Yeah. Detention or no, I really need to piss. And I mean really."

"I didn't need to know that," she says, glaring at me with a disgusted expression, but an oddly amused look too. "Keep information like that to yourself next time. The world is not interested in the affairs of your bladder."

"What a shame," I remark and kick at the door. "HEY! HELP! ANYONE?"

Hermione joins in with the shouting, and soon we are both banging and and screaming at the top of our lungs to be released. I give the door an extra hard shove, and at the same time, Hermione does the same. To my amazement, the door flies open and we land on the cold, hard floor with an 'oomph'.

"Oooh... that hurt," I groan, clutching my ribs. "Hope I haven't broken anything..."

Granger, who landed half on top of me, stands up and shrugs. "Thanks for being a cushion, Draco." She grins. "I'm pretty sure I haven't snapped or twisted anything."

"Grin while you can," I snarl. "You're lucky I don't beat up girls. Or I'd be on top of you, breaking as many bones as I can right now." I hobble off towards the nearest toilets. "For now, I need to relieve myself. See you at the Prefects' meeting tonight," I call back.

She nods, and turns around to go back into the broom cupboard for a second, and comes back out with a strange, liquidlike cloak that looks like a shawl my grandmother - no, Weasley's grandmother would have worn back when shawls were stylish. I suppose this is Potter's famous Invisibility Cloak. She tucks it under her arm and claps a hand to her forehead. "Oh! Forgot about that." She sighs. "Better not get stuck in closets too often. I can only risk missing so many classes."

I roll my eyes. "What, you've missed Ancient Runes? That is the most boring subject on Earth. I have no idea why anyone bothers to even show up."

"Shut up! It's not that bad," Hermione says defensively. "Easy for you to say, your grades are probably so low that skipping classes can't decrease your marks anymore..." she trails off as she starts walking in the opposite direction.

"I heard that," I yell at her.

She grins back at me. "You were meant to!"

Muttering to myself, I trudge towards the toilets as fast as I can manage without running or looking like I need to go. That is a Malfoy technique that no other boy could have mastered, except me.

I smirk when I think back. That, my friends, is what I call a night of fun. Snogging, handcuffs and magical closets. And what was up with the door, anyway? When Hermione and I both slammed into it, it opened easily like it was meaning to all that time. No doubt another 'friendship and co-operation' charm cast on it by Dumbledore.

Hmph.

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OK. Here is where they start to like like each other... hope this wasn't too sudden (then again, this is the 22nd chapter already, so some romance and snogging is due). Anyway, I won't be making any fast moves with their relationship, there's still a scene I've been planning for ages that I haven't put in yet.

Review and tell me what you think!