16. Let Go

Author's Note: Just to let everyone know (because my story can tend to get confusing with the flashbacks and present day scenes mixed together) - this ENTIRE chapter is a flashback, despite the page breaks. Thanks to everyone again for reviewing. Seriously - you guys and your reviews is what gives me the incentive to continue with this. :)

Disclaimer: I only own the story I've concocted in my mind. Everything else belongs to JK Rowling.

Draco did not sleep that night. He never even left the couch until the tiniest bit of sunlight began pouring in through the window the next morning.

Phase one of his plan was about to be executed.

Figuring he had a bit of time before he had to leave, Draco decided to jump in the shower. He thought perhaps it would revive him – or that it would wash away some of his pain.

It did neither.

Ten minutes later, he was making his way toward the Ravenclaw tower. He did not hold out much hope that this part of the plan would work, but he was going to give it his best shot. And it he failed, he would just have to come up with another idea.

The fair maiden in the portrait outside of Ravenclaw's tower had taken a liking to Draco back in his fifth year, when he briefly dated a girl from that house (he'd had no idea what had possessed him to do so). The maiden, as far as Draco knew, was the only portrait in the entire school that liked him at all. Not even the one that guarded his own tower liked him. So when he approached the portrait early that morning, she did not shun him, but rather greeted him warmly with a smile and a pleasant hello.

"Draco Malfoy!" the maiden said cheerfully. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

Draco cleared his throat. "I'm, um…waiting. For…a friend."

"Oh, how lovely!" the maiden said. "But the only student who remains in here right now is Luna Lovegood."

"Actually, she is exactly the person I'm looking for."

The maiden looked confused for a second, then said, "Oh, of course! She'll probably be along soon. I'd let you in, but…well, you know…I'm not supposed to…"

"I understand," Draco said, "but do you mind if I just wait out here for her?"

"I don't mind at all, Draco! But I must warn you…" Suddenly, she lowered her voice and in a hushed tone said, "She is very upset right now. She was very good friends with -"

"Yeah, I know," Draco cut her off. He wasn't really interested in discussing the reason why Luna was upset. He didn't care to be reminded.

But perfect timing was on his side – Luna stepped out of the portrait hole before the maiden could say another word.

She froze when she saw him standing there, replacing her usual spaced-out look with one that was genuinely perplexed.

"Luna," Draco said as politely as he could.

"M-Malfoy," she stuttered.

Her eyes were red and puffy, and she looked as though she had gotten as much sleep as he had. Apparently, the maiden was right – Luna was quite upset. But then, why wouldn't she be? She was one of Hermione's closest friends – and probably her best friend after the whole Yule Ball fiasco.

"Can we talk?" he asked her.

She began to walk past him, saying, "Not right now. I'm meeting Harry, Ron and Ginny -"

"Please," Draco said, noting the pleading in his voice. Yes, he was pleading with her, and he hated it.

Hearing the desperation in his voice, Luna turned around. Apparently, curiosity was getting the best of her. She was probably wondering what Draco Malfoy would ever have to talk to her about.

"Let's walk," he muttered, grabbing her arm lightly. He smiled half-heartedly back at the portrait before leading Luna down the hallway and around the corner. As soon as they were out of earshot of anyone, he stopped walking and turned to her. "I need you to do me a favor."

Luna's eyebrows shot up. "Why would I do you a favor?"

This was going to be just as hard as he thought it would be. She had just asked a very good question – why would she do him a favor? They were not friends. They weren't enemies, either, but he was an enemy to her friends. He was feeling defeated already, and for a brief moment he considered just forgetting about the whole thing and going back to the common room and sleep for the rest of his life. But realizing he hadn't yet given it a good try, he continued on.

"You were friends with Granger," he said softly.

At the mention of Hermione, Luna lowered her eyes and stared at the floor, sniffling. "Yes," she said in a small voice.

"Well," Draco continued, "this favor I ask of you – it may help bring her back."

Instantly, Luna's head shot up and she stared at him with wide eyes. "What?"

He mentally slapped himself for revealing too much too soon. It hadn't been part of his plan to tell Luna everything. But perhaps it was the right thing to do – if he could trust her not to blab to Potter and Co., that is. But of course, she wouldn't help him unless she knew what she was helping him with, and why. So he told her everything.

"Before I tell you anything, I need you to swear to me that it stays between us and only us."

Luna hesitated for a moment. Her eyes darted around the hall like she was either looking for someone, or plotting her escape. "Okay," she said finally.

"Okay." Draco took a deep breath. "I've thought of a way to – to bring Granger back," he said in a strained voice. "But it's not going to be easy. That's why I need your help."

"Bring her back?" Luna reiterated. "You mean…like with a spell?"

"No," Draco said, shaking his head. "No, I don't want to bring her back from the dead. I want to make it so that she never died in the first place."

Luna looked confused. "But how -"

"A time-turner," Draco replied as quietly as he could, aware that anyone at anytime could come around that corner and hear every word they were saying. "I plan to go back in time, to yesterday, and prevent her death."

Luna gasped. "You can do that?" Suddenly, her wide eyes went from sorrowful to hopeful in just one blink.

Draco shrugged. "I don't know. But I need to try. I'm pretty sure Dumbledore has one in his office."

"That's wonderful!" Luna exclaimed. She paused. "But – how are you planning on getting into his office?"

"That's where you come in," Draco replied.

"It is?"

"Yes. Now, I happen to be aware that Potter is in possession of an invisibility cloak. I need that cloak if I'm going to pull this off. You need to get it for me."

"Me?" Luna said, looking horrified. "Why me?"

"Because," Draco said, "you visit the Gryffindor tower all the time. In fact, you're going there right now, aren't you?"

"Yes, but -"

"So you will need to find a way to sneak into the boys' room to get it. He probably hides it under his mattress or something. Just look around until you find it, and then bring it back to me."

"I'm not going to steal from Harry Potter! He's my friend!"

"It's not stealing. It's borrowing," Draco said. "I'll give it right back to you after I'm done. Or maybe I won't have to, since our current reality as we know it will be changed, and you will have never taken it in the first place."

Luna seemed to be thinking it over. Finally, she said, "I will try my best, but I can't promise I'll be able to find it – let alone look for it without anyone suspecting anything."

Draco nodded. She certainly did not have an easy job ahead of her – though it paled in comparison to what he was going to have to do. "They're grieving heavily right now," he said softly. "Use that to your advantage."

Luna opened her mouth to speak, but then quickly shut it. To Draco, it appeared as though she didn't quite know what to do. She would have to betray a friend to help save one, and he knew she would make the right decision.

Sure enough, he was right.

"I'll be back as soon as I can," she said.

Draco nodded. "Meet me at the astronomy tower when you get it."

"Okay." Luna still sounded a bit hesitant, yet confident at the same time. Draco watched her as she bounded down the hallway. After she'd disappeared around the corner, he began to make his way toward the astronomy tower, silently praying that she'd come through for him.

"How did you manage to get it?" he asked her.

"Well, I did what you told me to – I used their grief to my advantage. Besides, only Ginny was there. I have no idea where Harry and Ron were -"

"Great," Draco said impatiently. He really didn't care how she'd done it – he only cared that she had. Time was wasting away, and he wanted to do this as soon as possible. "Listen, this is the plan: under this cloak, I will sneak over to the gargoyle that guards Dumbledore's office. You, meanwhile, will be hiding around the corner. Wait a few seconds, and then come running toward his office, screaming at the top of your lungs. That should be enough to get him out of his office. And as he comes out the door, I will sneak in. Then, I will need you to keep Dumbledore occupied long enough for me to find the time-turner."

"How will I do that?" Luna asked.

Draco shrugged. "I'm sure you'll think of something. When he asks you what's wrong, tell him that you were just outside and you could have sworn you saw a Death Eater. Bring him out there to look with you. Do not let him come back into his office no matter what for at least ten minutes…you got that?"

Luna nodded apprehensively. "I-I'll try, but I can't promise -"

"Well, you'd better promise," Draco snapped. When he saw Luna flinch a bit, he quickly softened his voice and said, "Hermione's life depends on this."

"I know," Luna said in a small voice.

So they headed for Dumbledore's office. Halfway there, Draco draped the cloak over him so that no one would see him walking with Luna. Even though he could not see the effect of the cloak while he was under it, he could certainly feel the power it gave him. Potter was a lucky bastard to be in possession of one – he could only imagine the kind of mischief one could get away with whilst wearing it.

When they finally approached Dumbledore's office, they stopped walking.

"Are you still here?" Luna whispered.

"Yeah," Draco replied in a quiet voice. "Are you ready to do this?"

Luna shrugged. "Ready as I ever will be, I suppose."

"Good. I'm heading over to the entrance now. Wait about thirty seconds before you start screaming, okay?"

Luna nodded as Draco made his way quietly over to the gargoyle statue. He pressed his back firmly up against the wall, so as to be out of the way when Dumbledore came out. He silently counted down thirty seconds, and soon after he'd hit zero, he heard Luna begin to scream. He smirked at how convincing she sounded. Apparently, he'd employed the right girl for the job.

A few seconds later, he saw her round the corner and head toward him. "Professor Dumbledore!" she cried.

No sooner than she'd said his name did the gargoyle statue slide over, revealing the hidden door to the Headmaster's office. Immediately, it swung open and Dumbledore rushed out.

"Ms. Lovegood?" he said. "What is going on?"

Draco did not wait around to hear Luna's answer; he quickly slid past the doorway before the door had a chance to shut. He breathed a sigh of relief as soon as he was safe inside, standing on a spiral staircase that led up to the office. He'd been inside Dumbledore's office before, so he was not surprised when the staircase began to move, slowly ascending to the circular room above. However, it didn't remember the staircase moving so slowly last time he was in there, so he jumped a few steps to hurry the process up a bit.

Once at the top, he hopped off the stairs and entered the room. Luckily for him, Fawkes the phoenix appeared to be dozing and hadn't noticed the intrusion. Quietly as he could, Draco made his way over to the Headmaster's desk. But of course, all of the drawers were sealed shut with spells – Draco hadn't thought of that.

"Dammit," he whispered, as he took off the invisibility cloak and threw it down on the desk. He would have to search the top of the desk, which was covered with multiple little gadgets, and the bookshelves first, and hope that there was a time-turner stuffed somewhere that wasn't behind lock-and-key. He cursed himself for not having anticipated this dilemma beforehand. He knew that no amount of "alohomora"ing would open any of the drawers. Chances were very good that the Headmaster had cast some sturdy locking spells on them.

So instead, he started rifling through everything on the desk. There were lots of gadgets and gizmos – most of which Draco didn't even recognize – but nothing that even slightly resembled a time-turner.

"Fuck!" he hissed after he'd finished searching the whole top of the desk. He rushed over to one of the bookshelves and began hauling books off and hurling them onto the floor, in hopes that there would be a time-turner hidden behind one. He even searched inside each and every one, in case one of the books had a secret compartment in it. But the more books he pulled out, the more he realized that he was just wasting his time. If Dumbledore had a time-turner, it would be safely locked inside his desk, not anywhere out in the open.

"This is one of my favorite books," a voice behind him said.

Draco jumped at the sound and spun around to see Dumbledore bending down, picking one of the books off the floor.

"I first read it when I was your age, I think. I must have read it a hundred times since." Dumbledore's voice was soft and friendly – certainly not the voice of someone who'd just found out his office had been broken into and vandalized. Draco looked behind the old man to see Luna standing there, her shoulders hunched forward, a look of defeat on her face. When his gaze met hers, she quickly looked to the floor and hung her head.

Dumbledore turned to Luna and said, "Ms. Lovegood, may I please speak with Mr. Malfoy alone?"

"Yes, sir," Luna mumbled as she turned to go.

After she was gone, Draco expected to Dumbledore to unleash his wrath on him. But he didn't. Instead, he walked casually over to his desk and sat down. "Have a seat, Draco," he said, motioning to one of the chairs in front of the desk.

Draco obeyed. He eyed the Headmaster suspiciously, wondering why the old man wasn't blowing up at him. Certainly, he deserved it.

"Draco," Dumbledore said softly. "What you are looking for is not here."

"How do you know what I'm looking for?" Draco asked coolly. But of course – Luna must have told him.

Instead of answering the question, Dumbledore leaned forward and said, "Let me tell you a story. About a hundred years ago, a young wizard named Diagon obtained a time-turner as a birthday present from his uncle. At first, he did not quite realize the potential this item had. In all honesty, he mainly thought it was a handsome piece of gold he could show off to his friends. He vaguely knew what a time-turner was, but he'd never had any real need for one, nor did he even know how one worked – and he was never very studious, so he didn't care to research it. However, there did come a day, a few years later, when he realized just how powerful the time-turner was.

"Diagon was one of the wealthiest known wizards at the time, and was envied by all. Not only was he a powerful wizard with many riches, but he was also married to one of the most beautiful witches many had ever seen. He had it all - until one night, whilst he and his wife Rosemary were walking home from a pleasant dinner at their friend's mansion, they came upon a group of young wizards brawling in the street. Both Diagon and Rosemary were concerned about this, and they made a decision to step in and stop it before anyone got hurt. However, as they approached, they realized the situation was more serious than they had originally thought. Two young wizards already lie dead on the ground, and all the rest had their wands pointed at each other, many shouting various unforgivable curses at each other. Diagon and Rosemary just stood there in horror, watching these young men take each other's lives – it all just seemed so senseless to them.

"What happened next happened so quickly that Diagon had no time to react: one of the young wizards had pointed their wands at another young man and shouted the death curse at him. But the other wizard was too quick, and had managed to duck before the spell could hit him. It, instead, continued past its intended target, and hit Rosemary square on the chest, killing her instantly. Diagon, of course, was in a state of shock. He first knelt down next to his wife and tried to revive her, but she was…gone. Diagon knew that he would not be able to live the rest of his life without her, so he knew right away what he would have to do: he would have to use the time-turner to get her back.

"He ran home as quickly as he could to retrieve it. He was still uncertain how exactly to use it, but he thought he knew enough. Once he had retrieved it, he set the clock back about an hour, and then apparated back to his friend's mansion where his wife and himself were still inside. He cast a powerful spell on the house - one that would prevent anyone from leaving, thus preventing himself and Rosemary from being anywhere near that group of young wizards. Feeling satisfied with what he'd done, he set the clock ahead, back to the time it was before he'd used the time-turner. He was excited, because he figured when he returned, his wife would be there to welcome him. Instead, many eyewitnesses on the street later claimed they saw Diagon appear briefly before them, then simply dematerialize right before their very eyes. You see, despite the spell he cast upon the mansion, Diagon and his wife were able to counteract it and leave. But apparently that little delay changed just enough so that when he and Rosemary encountered the group of wizards on the street, it was Diagon who'd been hit with the death curse, not Rosemary - which was why his existence had appeared to cease to everyone on the street - because since he had died a short while before, there was no way he could possibly be walking by them on the street -"

Finally, Draco had enough and interrupted the Headmaster. "With all do respect, sir, I've heard that story before, and that's all it is - a story. One that parents tell their kids, in hopes of scaring them from ever using a time-turner. My father told me that story when I was about eight years old, and I didn't even believe it then. First of all, it's not even a plausible situation, what with the whole paradox of he couldn't possibly have died in the past, because he would have needed to still be alive to go back into time in the first place -"

Dumbledore smiled. "Ahh. Well, that story usually works. But I guess it works better with children, who don't even understand the concept of paradox. Even I don't fully understand the concept of paradox..."

"Sir, I need a time-turner. Please."

Dumbledore sat back in his chair. "Even if I had one, Mr. Malfoy - which I don't - I would not give it to you. Time is not something to be fooled with."

"You don't understand," Draco said.

"You would be surprised what I do understand, Draco. If you wanted to use a time-turner to take extra classes, as I'm sure you are aware that Ms. Granger did in her third year, then we could possibly discuss it. But for what you want to use it for - well, I'm afraid I cannot help you with that."

"But sir -"

Dumbledore held up his hand as if to silence him. "I am sorry, Draco. I know you only have the best intentions, but this is something that needs to be left alone. Now, I know if you really want to do this, you will find a way - as difficult as it would be - and I could not stop you. But you have got to let this go. Let her go."

The old man stood up and walked around his desk. "If you will excuse me, Mr. Malfoy, I have some very important business to attend to. I would appreciate it if you would return that cloak to Mr. Potter, and think twice about ever breaking into my office again." His voice was not angry, but firm.

Feeling defeated, Draco followed Dumbledore over to the spiral staircase. Dumbledore placed a hand gently on Draco's shoulder and said,"You're a smart boy, Draco. I know you will do the right thing."

Draco did not say a word as the staircase slowly lowered to the ground below. That story had not scared him - but the old man was right. If he was even able to obtain a time-turner, which was unlikely, he could possibly, inadvertantly, cause something even more catastrophic to happen instead. And who was to say that whatever he was going to do in the past would have prevented Hermione from dying, anyway? Perhaps she was just meant to die that day, no matter what. Maybe if he'd even been given a chance to try and save her, he would have still failed - because that was the way it was supposed to be.Dumbledore was right. He needed to let it go. He needed to let her go.

He just had no idea how.

The knight in the portrait acknowledged him with a solemn nod. Draco waited for him it to swing open, but the knight was too busy staring over Draco's shoulder.

"What?" Draco demanded.

"Looks like you have a visitor," the knight replied, pointing.

Draco spun around to see Harry standing directly behind him. Where had he come from? Draco hadn't noticed him near the portrait as he'd approached, and he would have sensed it had Harry been following him the whole way back.

"We need to talk," Harry said simply.

Draco stared at the boy in front of him. He looked worse than Luna had – and about as bad as Draco felt. He looked tired and pale; his eyes almost completely devoid of any emotion.

"Now is really not a good time, Potter," Draco said as the portrait hole opened up.

"No, I need to know something," Harry said. His voice was somewhere between pleading and enraged.

"What, Potter? What do you need to know?"

Harry hesitated a moment, as if afraid to answer the question. But finally he spoke, in a voice barely above a whisper.

"I need to know why…" His voice faltered. But taking a deep breath, he continued. "I need to know why it was your hand Hermione held as she was dying. Why were you the last person she saw before she died?"

Draco's breath hitched in his throat. He hadn't been expecting Harry to question it. Hell, he hadn't even been aware that anyone had noticed it at the time. But apparently Harry had.

He was not sure how to respond. He could lie, or he could tell the truth. But honestly, he had no idea what the right answer was.

"Don't question things you don't want to know the answers to," he grumbled. He turned to head through the portrait hole, but Harry stopped him.

"But I do want to know the answers," he said in a low voice.

Draco turned back around to face him. He was not in the mood to talk about any of this at the moment – and certainly not with Harry Potter. So he just blurted out whatever he could to get him to go away.

"What do you want me to tell you, Potter?" he growled. "What exactly is the answer that you want to hear? Do you want me to tell you that maybe it's because Hermione and I were getting along nicely for the last couple of months? Would you like me to tell you that it was because she was starting to think of me as a friend? Or would you like me to tell you that, perhaps, it was because she slept with me the night before she died?"

He regretted the words the second they had escaped his lips. And no sooner than he had spoken them did Harry's fist connect firmly with his jaw.

The impact was so great that he stumbled backwards a couple of feet. His first instinct was to punch back, but he restrained himself – after all, he did deserve it.

"Lies," Harry said through clenched teeth. "I was her best friend! You were nothing to her!"

Gently rubbing the spot Harry had hit, Draco said softly, "Maybe so, Potter. But then again, maybe you're wrong. I guess maybe you'll never really know. Perhaps if you had paid more attention to her these last few months, instead of drooling over the Weaslette -"

Harry's fist came flying at him again, but this time Draco was able to block the attack. He managed to quickly dodge out of the way just in time, and before Harry knew what had hit him, Draco had delivered to him the same blow to the face he'd just received.

Harry swore as he touched the wounded area with his fingertips, wiping away a small amount of blood from the corner of his mouth.

"Potter," Draco said as calmly as possible, "we can do this until one or both of us ends up in the hospital wing – and believe me, I would enjoy every second of it. But let's find another reason to do it, because fighting over Hermione liked more is pointless. And as much as you'd like somebody close to home to blame, her death was not my fault, and it wasn't yours, and no amount of fist fighting is going to bring her back."

Harry glared at him, but there was no way he could argue with that – so he didn't. In fact, he just shook his head, turned around, and began walking back down the hallway.

"I loved her," Harry said softly as he left. Draco was not sure whether or not he was telling that to him, or if he was just talking to himself.

"Yeah, well I loved her too," Draco mumbled. Luckily, Harry was too far away to hear him. But the knight in the portrait, who had witnessed the whole ordeal, wasn't. The knight gave him a sympathetic look as he entered the portrait hole.

Once the door was closed behind him, Draco collapsed against the wall and let out one, lone sob. His shoulders shook as though he was crying, but he refused to let any tears escape.

He had managed to fail her once again. He'd had only one chance to try and make things right, and he had fucked it up. Now Hermione was gone forever, and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it.

"Granger?" he called out to her.

She turned to him. She looked relieved. She smiled sweetly as he slowly made his way over to her. "Where have you been?" she asked.

"I've been lost," he replied.

She turned her head back towards the lake and skipped another stone – only this one just sank as soon as it hit the water. She frowned, looking thoroughly disappointed. "I have no idea what I'm doing."

He glanced down at the jagged stones in her hand. "They aren't smooth enough. And you're not holding your wrists correctly."

"I wasn't talking about the stones," she said sadly.

He sat down beside her and grabbed one of the rocks. With one swift movement, he flung it across the water. It skipped all the way to the other side of the lake, and then skipped all the way back to them, returning to his hand. "It's like magic."

She turned to him once again. "Can you help me find out what I'm doing?"

He stared at her. Her eyes were wide and glazed over with what appeared to be tears that were only seconds from spilling over. She looked so helpless, but he had no idea what he could do for her. "I thought I'd lost you."

She blinked. When she did, a tear fell delicately down her cheek. "But you've found me."

"Yes, I have."

The water in the lake slowly began to rise. He stared at the waves as they began to grow bigger and bigger, and he vaguely wondered what had suddenly brought on such rough conditions.

"You told me you would protect me, you know," she said suddenly. It was not an accusation, more of an observation.

"I know," he said. "And I meant it - I did. But there was nothing I could do to save you."

"Well, you could save me now," she said.

"Huh?"

She skipped another stone. Only, the stone did not hit a flat surface of water - it disappeared through a tidal wave that somehow he had failed to notice was there. There was no time to react - the wave came crashing down over them, covering them completely with cold water. Suddenly, the lake seemed less like a lake, and more like an ocean. As he was pulled under the waves, and he expected to be able to touch the ground with his feet, but the ground was no longer there. Quickly, he kicked out his legs and swam up to the top. When he reached the surface, he took a deep breath of air and glanced around for her. She wasn't there.

"Hermione!" he yelled at the top of his voice. In a panic, he dove back down under the water to search for her. She couldn't have gone too far. But all he saw every which way was water. He came up for air one more time, then went under again. He was not going to give up until he found her.

Suddenly, he saw her, clear as day. She was a few feet below him, reaching her hand up toward him. He swam toward her, ready to take her hand, but the further down he swam, the further away she seemed to get.

"Hermione swim up to me. Take my hand." It didn't even seem odd to him that he was able to speak underwater.

She did not move, though. She just shook her head sadly and said, "It's too late to save me. You're too late."

Draco gasped as his eyes flew open. He expected to still be underwater, but instead, he was in the comfort of his own bedroom, in the comfort of his own bed. Breathing heavily, he buried his face in his hands. It had only been a dream. Or, more of a nightmare. One of many to come, though he had no way of knowing it at the time.

He knew at this very moment that he was going to be having a very hard time letting her go.