23. Waiting

CHAPTER SUMMARY: Rey struggles to control her Force abilities.

Rose races into the cockpit, wide-eyed and breathless. "How far out?"

"Three minutes." Daja doesn't look back, struggling to maneuver the transport. "Assuming this ship doesn't fall apart before then." Suddenly, they dip, lobbing off the top of a tree.

"Damn it!" Daja curses. "Rey, can I not fly this thing higher?"

"No! You need to fly low or we'll get picked up by radar."

Daja groans, fighting the transport's jerky movements.

Rey looks to Rose, focusing on the large blood stain on her jacket. "How's the girl?"

"She's stable for now, but she needs a bacta tank and soon."

"Then, she's a goner." Daja lobs off another tree top. "We still don't have a clue where the haven is. It could be off planet for all we know."

Rose and Rey share a foreboding look.

"Rey." Rose rushes to her, kneeling. "You have got to convince this woman to let me come this time. I can keep girl stable. I know I can, but I have to be there."

"Rose…" Rey shakes her head. "You know she won't agree to that."

"I don't know what she's so skittish about." Daja struggles with the transport. "What is this? Our third rescue? We've freed a hundred slaves in a week. Doesn't that count for anything?"

"It does." Rey turns to Daja. "We're building trust, but it's a process. She's been sold out to the slavers before, remember? She has to be careful, and we need to respect that."

"I understand…" Rose grabs Rey's arm. "That we're trying to build trust here, I really do, but…" Her eyes tighten. "This girl's life is on the line."

"We're here," Daja announces before Rey can respond.

The ship descends into a small clearing with a transport docked to the side. Three cloaked figures stand in front of it, black fabric billowing in the wind.

Rey turns to the control panel, quickly running through pre-landing procedures.

The ship touches down unevenly, the right side settling gently, the left side crashing with a thud.

Daja pushes out an exhale. "This ship's killing me."

Rey instantly shoots up, walking swiftly with Rose. "You've got post-landing?" She calls to Daja.

"On it."

Rey's already in the hall when Daja responds. She and Rose enter the hull, a large room with several rows of seats, all of them packed with adrenaline-charged people in tattered clothes. Some look scared, but most are dazed like they just woke up.

Rose immediately goes to young girl who's not a day over twelve laying across one of the rows. She's breathing weakly, bloodied fabric at her stomach.

Rey charges to the back of the transport, slapping a panel and waiting as the loading ramp descends.

The moment it touches the ground, a black-cloaked figure pounds up the ramp, brushing past Rey without a glance. She starts speaking to the slaves in the local language, and they all jerk up. Soon they begin shuffling to the woman who points them to the other transport, touching each one lightly as they pass.

A second cloaked figured guides them to the third waiting at the transport across the clearing.

Daja rushes into the hull just as the last slave stumbles down the ramp. Rey catches her eye and nods to Rose kneeling by the injured girl. Daja moves to her swiftly, crouching.

"That's it?"

Rey turns and is met by owl eyes peering out of a black hood. She can barely make out the woman's face, all sallow and wrinkled. She looks to be eighty, but she moves like she's much younger. Perhaps she comes from people who enjoy greater longevity than average humans.

Or perhaps fighting the good fight in a place like this has aged her beyond her years.

"No." Rey points to the back of the hull.

The woman turns without a word, making her way to Rose and Daja kneeling by the injured girl.

"Do you have a bacta tank at the haven?" Rose asks as the woman kneels.

"Yes." The woman pulls back the bloodied blanket to inspect the girl's wound. Outwardly, she's stone, but Rey feels the cold pang in her gut.

"She's got less than an hour," Rose whispers. "I could keep her stable for longer if you take me with you."

The woman stiffens.

Rose looks to Rey, pleading.

Rey lowers, resting a hand on the woman's shoulder.

She twitches at the touch.

"I respect your need for secrecy, I really do, but this girl…" Rey swallows. "She deserves a chance to live."

The woman snaps up. "And if I take you there, if I take you to the haven, and you utter a single word of its location, this girl and hundreds of others will die. I can't risk many lives for the sake of one."

Rey presses her lips together. "I understand," she starts slowly. "That you have to act on behalf of the group and not the individual, but…" She searches for the right words. "Aren't you the one who told me you've accomplished more in the past week than you have in a whole year?"

The woman stares coldly, but Rey senses a softening.

"And that's because you decided to trust someone, to trust us, so maybe this is in the best interest of the group. Maybe it's time to stop carrying this burden by yourself and let others help you."

The woman doesn't move, yellow eyes piercing Rey's.

Then, she shoots to her feet. "I must consult with the others." She whips around, charging to the end of the hull and disappearing down the ramp.

Rey sighs, turning to Rose.

She gives her a grim smile. "At least we tried."

Rey closes her eyes, sinking.

The three women focus their attention on the injured girl. Rose is stroking her hair as she moans softly. Daja watches with an eerie calm. She's a former slave herself, and Rey gets the feeling she's all too familiar with seeing injured children.

The girl coughs, then wheezes, squirming in the seat.

Without think, Rey extends a hand, drifting to the bloodied fabric over the wound.

But the next second, snaps it away.

Rose caught the movement. "Do you want to try again?"

"No," Rey whispers.

"Try what?" Daja knits her brow.

"Healing." Rose doesn't look up.

Daja processes a moment, then gasps, shooting straight. "You can heal with the Force!?"

"I can't." Rey sets her jaw. "But it's possible."

"Stop beating yourself up," Rose admonishes. "You can't expect to do something you've never done before."

Rey hardens. She feels like she's on fire, frustration licking like flames.

Silence descends as the women crouch by the girl, waiting, worrying…

"So, what'd you do?"

Rey jerks up, startled by the question.

"In the forest?" Daja nods to her. "There were fifty slavers on our tail, easy. There's no way you beat 'em back with a quarterstaff. Even you're not that good."

Rey opens her mouth but hesitates.

Daja's lips curl. "You used the Force, didn't you?"

Rey looks away. She senses Daja's curiosity spike.

"Come on." Daja leans in. "You can tell me."

"I…" Rey draws out the word.

Rose glance up, intrigued in spite of herself.

"I…"

Suddenly, the women jerk to the back of the ship, footsteps pounding up the ramp.

"Two." The cloaked woman holds up two fingers. "Two come with us. One stays here. We return in three hours." She turns, not waiting for a response.

Rose shoots up, racing after her. "We've got to be careful how we move her!" She hurries down the ramp.

Daja lips twist wryly. "Guess I'll be spending the next three hours on my favorite transport."

"No." Rey shakes her head. "You go with Rose."

"You sure? Shouldn't you be the one to go?"

"No. The woman already trusts me. Now, I want her to trust us." She nods to Daja. "Show her who you are, who we are. Show her she just made the best decision of her life. Who knows? Maybe she'll even tell you her name."

Daja grunts. "Don't think that's gonna happen, Rey, but I like the positive thinking."

Rey starts to respond but snaps back at the sound of commotion.

Rose emerges at the top of the ramp, guiding a hover stretcher behind her, the cloaked woman following at the other end.

Rey and Daja rise and step away, giving the women space.

Rose moves the stretcher so it's exactly parallel to the girl, then changes a setting to lower it. "Ok, we need to do this carefully," she instructs the cloaked woman.

They position themselves, Rose by the girl's head, the cloaked woman by her feet. Rose gives a count of three, and they start to lift.

Rey subtly extends a hand, steadying the girl's body as they slide her onto the stretcher.

She moans, wincing at they set her down.

Rose moves to the other end of the stretcher, gesturing for the cloaked woman to switch places with her. They begin guiding the girl to the ramp, steady and swift with Rose in the lead. They disappear quickly, Daja following behind.

Rey follows more slowly, crossing her arms as she stops at the top of the ramp, observing the others hurrying across the clearing.

A cloaked figure waits by the transport, tall and still except for streams of black fabric blowing in the wind. She watches the group board, then turns to Rey.

Rey can't sense the woman's emotions from this distance, but she can imagine she didn't expect Rey would be the one to stay behind.

The cloaked figure lingers a moment, then scurries up the ramp. Not a second later, it closes and the transport begins to lift, just a few feet at first, bobbing lightly. It starts to rise higher, barely making a sound as it ascends above the trees. It hovers there, then glides over the forest, smooth and stealthy.

Rey watches as it becomes little more than a black dot, then disappears altogether. She stands long after it's gone, eyes on the thees, tall and thick with verdure. She tries to focus on the forest, its evergreen beauty, the song of birds and small creatures scurrying over limbs.

But in her mind, she's still kneeling beside the girl. She sees her pale face, the rise and fall of her chest as she fights to breathe.

Rey closes her eyes. There's a knot in her throat, so thick she can hardly swallow. She turns, tightening her arms as she steps into the transport. She stops halfway into the hull, staring at the scraped-up floor.

She stands there.

Then out of nowhere, she screams, a loud, guttural sound that reverberates through the ship. She grips her hair with both hands, trembling as she falls to her knees. She lets out another shout, louder this time, scaring several birds off their perches nearby.

Rey beats the floor with a fist, gasping as hot tears push their way through, trickling down her cheeks. She buries her face in her hands, giving over to sobs.

That little girl… she still might not make it.

And it doesn't have to be this way. It doesn't have to be this way at all.

If she could just do it again, if she could just reach inside and find whatever it is that allowed her to heal Ben that day and do it again.

She's tried. She's tried and she's tried and she's tried. She's tried on herself with small injuries, cuts and bruises. She tried on Finn when he fractured his arm in the training room. She tried on Rose when she got bitten by a nightshrike.

And she tried today. She knelt next to that girl for… who knows how long? She lost track of time she was concentrating so intently.

Maybe that was the problem. Maybe she just couldn't let go, surrender to the Force. Or maybe it was the environment, the jerky transport, the hull filled with an audience of scared, desperate people.

Or maybe it's just her. Maybe she's too weak, too ignorant in the ways of the Force.

Rey growls, clenching her fists.

She thought for sure that if she got into a situation like today, a situation that was life or death, she would surrender to the adrenaline, the urgency, and just do it, just like Ben told her in Clava's palace— Focus on the energy of the moment. Let that be her teacher.

But then the moment came, and she couldn't do it. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't find whatever it is inside of her that's capable of healing.

What is the point of being able to do something so incredible, so life-changing if she can't control it, if she can't do it at will?

It's infuriating.

No, it's more than that. It's a tragedy. It's the difference between a little girl living or dying. If that girl doesn't make it…

Rey squeezes her eyes shut.

It just doesn't make sense. It doesn't make a damn bit of sense. She heals once and can't do it again. She picks a lock through the Force and does it again not ten minutes later. She Force blinds, then tries it again and…

Rey grunts, falling back on her heels. Part of her is still in denial. It feels like a dream, like it was someone else and not her. She can't get the scene out of her head— racing through the forest, fifty slavers coming up fast, yelling at Rose to take the rescues on, turning and sprinting to the attackers, leaping dead center of the fray, and…

Rey goes limp.

She can't believe it. She just can't believe it. Part of her doubts it even happened.

But it did happen. She was there. She was the one who made it happen. She just doesn't have the slightest clue how…

Rey rolls her head back, looking to the ceiling. Her eyes are red and puffy, her cheeks stained with tears. She feels raw and spent, exhausted to the core. There's that persistent side of her, the one determined to fix any problem, refusing to give up.

Then, there's the side that knows this is no speeder or old piece of junk that just needs new parts and a little creativity. This is the Force, the energy that guides life and death, the universe. This is so far beyond her she can't even conceive of it…

She hangs her head. She can't stop the thought from flashing.

She wishes he were here.

She needs someone to talk to, someone who actually knows about the Force, how to train, how to do things with intention. He's schooled in the light side, the dark side… She doesn't know anyone better suited to help her gain a modicum of control over her Force abilities.

She imagines the conversation, what she'd tell him, ask him. She can practically feel him as she plays the seen, the warmth of his presence here with her.

Wait a second...

Rey snaps up, senses heightened. She turns her attention inward, attuned to the slightest nuance. After a moment, her lips curl.

Well, fancy that… There's a first time for everything, the bond happening at exactly the right time. What a welcome deviation from the standard.

Rey rises, wiping her cheeks, relishing in the warmth stretching through her limbs. She closes her eyes and bows her head, focusing on the unmistakable call of the bond bringing him closer. Another moment, and the warmth disappears, the full force of his presence washing over her. She doesn't have to look to see him behind her.

She whips around, charging to him. "I need to talk to you." She grabs his arm, pulling him to a row of seats.

He barely has time to react.

"Rey, what's wrong? Why are you—"

"Everything." She throws herself on a seat, her mind at lightspeed. "I've been trying to heal again."

He sits beside her, disoriented.

"I've tried on myself. I've tried on friends, I tried today, but I can't—" She grits her teeth. "I just can't do it. No matter what I do, no matter the situation, no matter the injury. I've tried on scrapes, I've tried on fractures, I've tried on bites, I've tried on blaster wounds, I've tried and I've tried and I've tried, but—"

"Rey." Ben blinks, lifting a hand. "Back up. I need context. Why are you trying to heal? Why is this so important right now?"

She sucks in a breath, squelching the instinct to lash out. Instead, she exhales slowly, remembering he just got here and has every reason to be confused. She closes her eyes, trying to calm herself, get into a more productive state of mind.

When she opens them, she finds Ben knitting his eyebrows

"I…" She starts purposefully. "Am on an Outer Rim planet helping a local woman rescue people from slavery. Today, we ran into some trouble and a little girl was hurt, badly. She's on her way to get medical attention now but—" Her voice breaks. "There's a very good chance she won't make it and…" She bows her head.

The ship falls quiet. Rey wraps her arms around herself, fighting back tears.

"She's twelve, Ben." She squeezes her eyes shut. "She's barely had a chance to live, and now she could die, and if that happens…" Tears trickles down her cheeks. "It'll be my fault."

"Rey…"

Warm fingers slide under her chin, tilting up. She forces herself to open her eyes.

"That is not your fault." He brushes tears from her cheek.

"But it is."

"Why?"

"Because I'm capable of it, Ben. I'm capable of saving her life. I can heal. You know I can. You've seen me do it."

"No." He shakes his head. "Rey, you healed a shoulder. This girl's injury was much worse. Even if you can heal, you couldn't have done anything about it. In the old days, only the most powerful Jedi could heal mortal wounds."

She wipes her cheeks, her tears dying away. She shifts forward in her chair, bringing both hands to her lap.

Maybe he's right. Maybe she isn't capable of that kind of healing. Just because she can heal a shoulder doesn't mean she can heal a vital organ. Though she can't kick the feeling, distant but powerful, an inborn knowledge…

She is capable of that kind of healing. She just doesn't know how to tap in the ability.

Rey rises from the seat, stepping forward. She brings an index finger to her lip, grazing as she thinks. She feels Ben's eyes on her back.

"Do you remember…" She turns slowly. "When the bond brought us together at that palace, when I was in prison?"

Black flames light in his eyes. "Oh, I remember…" He leans forward, lips twisting up.

Her cheeks turn pink.

"Ben." She suppresses a smile. "I'm talking about the lock." She sits next to him.

He straightens, falling neutral.

"Do you remember what you told me about focusing on the energy of the moment?"

He nods.

"Well, I did and I figured it out, just like that." She snaps. "Then, I did it again not ten minutes later, easily. And ever since, I've been practicing on all kinds of things, not just locks. It comes naturally, like I've been doing it all my life."

"That's not surprising. You already have knack for mechanics. Combine that with raw power, and it makes sense that you'd develop the skill quickly."

"Ah, I see." She says this like she understands but bites her lip, perplexed.

Ben narrows his eyes. "Rey, what is it you really want to know?"

She sighs. "I just want to be able control my power, do things on purpose. I don't want to wait until the heat of the moment. I want to do things at will, things like healing, Force blinding."

"Ok…" He draws out the word. "I can't help you with healing, but Force blinding—"

"Well," she interrupts. "I'm more interested in anything you can tell me about how I can learn to do something I've already done."

He grunts. "You do realize that's not how this works. Typically, you learn first, then accomplish the task, not the other way around."

"So, you're telling me you've never done something on instinct, something you couldn't explain?"

He tilts his head in concession.

"Alright, so how did you do it again? How did you learn to control it?"

"Usually, I'd do it on instinct more than once, and the more I did, the more I'd notice a pattern. That and I had teachers."

"Alright, so what can you tell me about Force blinding?"

"Have you tried to do it again?" He sits up, folding his arms.

"Yes." She looks down. "I tried today."

"And…?"

"I couldn't do it." She presses her lips together.

Ben's interest piques. He knows she's holding something back… "What happened?"

"I…" She wrings her hands. "Did something else."

"What?"

She stares at down, debating whether to answer.

"Come on, Rey." He leans closer. "You can tell me."

"You wouldn't believe me," she whispers.

"Try me."

She holds her breath, considering. Then, she shakes her head. "You'll think I'm mad."

"Try me."

She pushes out an exhale. "I…"

He hangs on the word.

"I…"

He grows impatient.

"I… I froze time," she blurts out.

She immediately senses his doubt.

"See!" She snaps up. "You don't believe me. I shouldn't have said anything."

"I didn't say I didn't believe you—"

"You don't have to." She crosses her arms.

"Come on, Rey. I need more. What do you mean you froze time?"

"I mean…" She sits up. "It was Clava's palace all over again. I jumped into the fray, attackers on all sides, extended my palms, intending to Force blind but…" She trails off. "Silence. Nothing, not even the sound of wind. Everything was frozen, and I mean everything— the trees, the birds, slavers contorted in the weirdest positions, some of them midair. I saw…" She points up. "A tiny twinkle just above me. I reached out to touch it, and it was sap dripping from a tree, just frozen mid fall." She widens her eyes. "It was surreal, like a dream."

Ben studies her, eyes narrowed.

"That's it." Rey shifts to him. "Come in and see for yourself." She gestures to her head.

He raises his eyebrows.

"Come on. We can't talk about this if you don't believe me, so let me show you." She closes her eyes, waiting.

Soon, invisible tendrils creep in, the eerie sensation of an outside observer. She dismisses the feeling and focuses on the memory, playing it like a holo in her mind.

She's sprinting through the forest, dodging plasma shots, a host of slavers snarling ahead. She leaps up, lands amidst them, opening her hands on both sides, then—

She takes her time here. She lingers on the image of a flock of birds frozen in the sky, a fuzzy, bluish creature diving between trees. She inspects the slavers, one of them frozen mid leap, another firing his weapon. She walks up, hovering a palm over red plasma suspended. She shows him how he touched some of the attackers, got in their faces, pushed them a little, yet they didn't see her or even move. She even pries some of the weapons from their hands, and they do nothing. Finally, she turns, running away to leave them all behind without looking back.

Ben withdraws from her mind.

She opens her eyes to find him leaning back, his face blank.

"So…?"

He doesn't move.

"What was that? How is it that I tried to Force blind and did that instead?"

He remains still.

"I did exactly what I did in the palace, focused on the energy of the moment, just like you said, but instead of Force blinding I…" She shakes her head. "I don't know. Is there some sort of connection between Force blinding and Force… freezing?"

Ben's eyes flicker. Finally, he sits up. "There's no such thing as Force freezing."

"Oh…" She feels dumb. "So, what's it called then?"

"No…" He scoffs softly. "That's not what I meant. I mean…" He gets a strange look. "What you just showed me doesn't exist. It's never been done before."

She balks. "A-are… are you sure?"

"Positive. I've studied all Jedi and Sith masters since the Hundred Year Darkness. None of them have done what you just showed me."

Her stomach drops. She turns away, her face white. For a moment, they're quiet.

"You… you're certain?"

"Yes. With training, Force-sensitives can stun a person. Powerful Force-sensitives can stun groups of people. But freezing an entire environment…? No one can do that."

Rey looks down, gripping the edge of her seat. She's starting to feel sick… "S-so… Does that mean there's something wrong with me?" She glances up.

Ben still has a strange look, like he just woke from sleep but is still dreaming. He stares blankly, the question hanging in the air.

"It means…" He finally speaks. "You just discovered a new Force ability."

"Alright." This doesn't make her feel better. "Well… Then…" She laughs weakly. "How do I learn to control an ability no one's done before."

Ben opens his mouth, then closes it. "I don't know," he admits quietly.

Rey slumps.

This conversation isn't going the way she expected at all…

She sighs, sliding back in the seat.

Perfect. This is perfect. The most powerful Force-sensitive in the galaxy doesn't have a clue how to help her. She'll be tearing her hair out trying to control her powers for the rest of her life.

She closes her eyes, rolling her head back.

Silence, nothing but distant chirping and rustling in the forest. Seconds drag into minutes.

"I wish I could go back there," Rey mutters. "I wish I could relive the moment when I froze everything, figure out what I did."

"What if you could?"

She looks to Ben.

He's leaning in with a glimmer. "What if you could go back to the moment, experience it once, twice, as many times as you liked?"

She knits her brow.

"Have you heard of a memory walk?"

She shakes her head.

"It's a loop where someone is…" He hesitates. "Trapped in a particular memory on rotation, experiencing it again and again like a dream you can't wake from."

She narrows her eyes.

"It has another name." He looks away. "More fitting to its purpose."

"What's its purpose?"

"You don't want to know."

Something in the way he says this makes her stomach turn. His face is a mask, but she can read him all the same, a heaviness in the chest.

Shame.

She presses her lips together. She's not particularly keen on trying something that's clearly used for torture, yet…

She taps a finger against the seat.

What other option does she have?

"Alright." She straightens, squaring her shoulders. "Let's do it."

"Not so fast." Ben turns. "You need to understand what you're agreeing to. This won't be like recalling the scene in your mind. You'll live it, experience it— the emotions, the adrenaline, the fear. It will feel real, so real you won't realize it's not. It'spossible you'll have an outer awareness because you're Force-sensitive but…" He tilts his head. "Not likely."

"I don't care." She sounds braver than she feels. "It's worth trying and I am tired of not being able to control my Force power. I want to know what I'm doing, and how I'm doing it."

He studies her, black eyes sharp.

Then, he nods. "Lie down." He rises.

She takes a breath, quelling the nervous spike in her gut. She shifts, extending her legs over the rows of seats and resting back. She weaves her fingers together over her stomach, staring at the ceiling and focusing on her breath— Inhale. Exhale.

"So, how long will this last?" She tries not to squirm.

"As long as you want it to." He kneels beside her. "Just let me know when to stop it."

"But you said I wouldn't know it wasn't real."

"I said it was unlikely. We'll set a time to be safe. Fifteen minutes?" He raises an eyebrow.

"Uh… sure. That sounds good, I guess." She closes her eyes, trying to relax. She feels his hand stretch over her, hovering above her forehead.

"Wait!" She snaps up.

He drops his hand.

"What if the bond takes you away before the fifteen minutes are up? Will I…?" She gulps. "Be trapped indefinitely?" She searches him for reassurance.

His eyes drift to the ceiling.

"Ben?"

He purses his lips.

"Ben?"

He says nothing.

Finally, he looks at her. "You should probably tell me where you are."

"What!?" She shoots up. "I can't believe you! You can't just trap me in a memory and leave me here! What if I never get out of it? What if my friends come back and I'm just lying here locked in sleep! How are they supposed to—" She stops when she notices the smirk in his eyes. Her face falls. "You're teasing me, aren't you?"

The smirk moves to his lips.

"You're not funny." She lies back on the seats.

"I control how long it lasts, Rey. It will wear off if I'm not here to maintain it, so relax."

She sighs, closing her eyes.

"Just relax…" He hovers a hand over her head. "Let go, like you're about to sleep. I'll take care of the rest."

She tries to do as he says, bringing her hands to her stomach, letting her muscles fall slack, but she can't calm the nervous churning. She feels like she's on the edge of a cliff about to jump.

Why is she so nervous? Maybe it's because it will feel real and she won't know it's not. Or maybe it's just the idea of being trapped, completely out of control. Or maybe—

"Rey…" Ben's lips are at her ear. "Do you trust me?"

She nods without thinking.

"Then relax." He strokes her hair back. "You know I won't hurt you, and I can sense your emotions. If it gets too intense, I'll take you out of it. Relax." His voice is deep and soothing. "Just trust me."

She takes a deep breath, then releases slowly, imagining all the tension in her body going with it. She feels his palm on her forehead, large and warm. She focuses on his presence, the gentleness of his touch, and soon she doesn't feel nervous at all. Her jaw loosens, her lips parting slightly, and she starts to feel like she really could go to sleep, just lying here with Ben's head on her forehead, his thumb stroking softly. She imagines herself drifting, drifting away…

Without realizing it, she slips into the memory.

She's in the forest, running, panting, Rose just ahead, forty adrenaline-charged slaves stumbling all around. They're moving so slowly, like they're trudging through mud, and the slavers are approaching quickly, shouting and firing, a stampede of boots on the ground. Rey's heart quickens.

They're not going to make it…

"Rose, when you get to the ship, go! Don't wait for me."

She turns, sprinting away before Rose can respond. She whips between trees, branches scratching her arms, plasma shots ripping through the brush.

There they are, a veritable army, large men wielding blasters and melee weapons, racing and yelling, flushed with confidence. They know they're catching up, that they've already won.

Rey surges with the Force, picking up speed, arms pumping at her sides.

She needs to disable them fast, and Force blinding is perfect. She hasn't done it since Clava's palace, but she feels like she did then, caught the energy of the moment. There's a lot more than there was then. How far will the light go? Can it blind them all?

Only one way to find out.

They shriek, pointing as she approaches, a wall of blaster fire coming her way. She flips over it, high in the air, caught in the strange sensation of moving fast but perceiving everything slowed. The slavers are under her, spread through the trees, less concentrated than she'd like, but she should blind most of them, enough to make a difference.

She closes her eyes as she falls, losing the sense of her body and melting into the Force. She lands crouching and immediately stands, extending her palms. She's like water trickling down a mountainside, moving between crevices on a predetermined path.

She opens her eyes.

And there it is— the quiet, the stillness, the dream-like quality of feeling out of place, out of time.

Suddenly, the image disappears and she's running again, panting, Rose just ahead.

That's when she feels it, a split. It's a disassociation, like having a double consciousness, one that experiences and one that observes. Part of her is caught up in the moment, but another part knows it's a shadow. That part observes coolly, waits for that tiny slice of time, the seconds between leaping into the air and standing up with her palms extended.

She experiences it again and again. Each time feels like the first, yet it grows more familiar, a contradiction. The more she experiences it, the more she starts notice, notice the change in the air when her feet touch the ground. It's like sensing the acoustics shift in a room, subtle, barely detectable.

But she can feel it, and she follows it.

Not because she knows where it leads. She doesn't act with intention; she acts on faith. She just melts into the Force, lets herself become its instrument, not the other way around.

That's it. That's what allowed her to do what she did.

"Stop."

Rey's not sure she said the word out loud. Maybe she only said it in her mind…? She's semi-conscious but also absorbed in the loop.

"Stop." She reaches for any traces of her physical body, lying across rows of seats on the transport. She tries to picture herself there.

"Stop."

Finally, the loop ends. It fades slowly, the trees blending with the sky then sweeping away, taking the experience of the moment with them.

Her mind is her own again, free roam as she pleases. She opens her eyes.

The dinged-up ceiling of the transport comes into view. She blinks, the image sharpening. She turns to Ben.

He's exactly where she left him, kneeling beside her, dark eyes curious. She sits up.

"Did you find what you were looking for?"

Rey shifts, bringing her legs over the seat "No." She doesn't sound disappointed but distant.

Silence.

Ben moves to the seat next to her. She can feel his impatience, but he waits, watching quietly.

Rey scoots back, tucking a leg into her chest. "I think…" She starts slowly. "I've been going about this the wrong way."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I've been so frustrated." She shakes her head. "I want to control my power so badly but… Maybe control shouldn't be the goal."

"Then…" He sounds confused. "What's the goal?"

"To explore. Develop. Understand. Control?" She shrugs. "Maybe that comes later."

He sits back, struck by this answer. Rey glances at him to find him staring at the floor, brows furrowed.

"I'm sure that sounds crazy to you."

He doesn't react, only stares. A long minute passes before he sits up, thoughtful. "Maybe not." He glances at her. "Have you talked to the kyber crystals about this?"

"No." She quirks her head. That never even occurred to her...

"I think you should. Tell them about today, what happened, and see what they have to say. They should know something."

"Why are you so sure?"

"Because they're attuned to the Force, more than any other beings in the galaxy, but they're not aligned with one side or another, dark and light. In fact…" He gets a sly look. "Dark and light are concepts people came up with. I'd be curious to see if the crystals understand the Force in the same way."

"So… Are you suggesting there is no dark side or light side?"

"No, I'm saying that you're not a Jedi and you're not a Sith. You're not trained, and maybe you shouldn't be. Maybe training you would be like putting your power in shackles. Maybe you…" He squints knowingly. "Are something different."

She looks into his eyes, sees that spark in him. She recognizes the look. It's the one that feels like dark mirror, reflecting a different version of herself, someone powerful beyond measure.

"What happened today, what you showed me…" He gets closer. "Maybe that's only the beginning. Who knows what else you could be capable of?"

She catches her breath. His conviction surges through her, a jolt of electricity.

It feels like destiny.

She nods, growing more confident.

Yes, she should be exploring the Force, not trying to control it. She'll let it use her, show her what's possible. And maybe she should talk to the crystals, see what they have to say about this…

She relaxes in her seat, her mind busy with the possibilities, what she might discover… Who knows? Maybe Force freezing is just the beginning.

She brings a finger to her lip, grazing lightly. Her eyes drift over the transport, only half seeing the surroundings.

Until she catches sight of the seats across the way, a large bloodstain soaked trough two of them.

She drops her hand.

Maybe the girl's ok. For all she knows, she's being lowered into a bacta tank right now.

Or maybe… Maybe she didn't make it.

She bows her head. "Exploring's all well and good but… It would be very nice to heal." She glances at Ben.

He's leaning against the seat, arms crossed. He catches her eye, lingering before looking down. His emotions shift, darkening. There's a grating quality to them, resentment, even hatred, in a battle with tenderness.

She tilts her chin up, trying to read him better. He senses her scrutiny, shifting away.

He leans over to rest his forearms on his knees, a vein in his jaw twitching. Now he just feels angry…

"Skywalker…" The moment he chokes out the word, his emotions make sense. "Once told me that learning how to heal was like learning how to love. He said that to master the ability, one had to develop the capacity to love, but not any kind of love, a certain kind, like…"

She leans in, hanging on every word.

"Like…" He struggles to articulate. "A universal love, like loving people you don't even know. It's supposed to be selfless, loving life for its own sake rather than any desire or need of your own." He grunts, looking away. "That's why he said… I'd never be able to do it."

Rey instantly reaches for his hand. "I think you could do it. I know you could."

He looks to her, surprised, and also a little… insecure?

She squeezes his hand.

He softens, whatever surprise or insecurity he's feeling melting away. He's warm now, a glow, calm and steady, in his heart. His fingers curl around her hand and he tugs, drawing her closer.

Her chest flutters as his face descends, dark eyes fixed on hers, his intention written across them.

For a split second, she sees it in her mind, exactly what they both want.

She sees his lips connect with hers, soft and warm. She feels his hand cup her cheek, another slip around her waist. She sees her own hands crawl up his chest, stopping at the shoulders, broad and firm. She can feel it, his body pressed close, one kiss leading to another, then another, each one more passionate than the last. She imagines him pulling her on top of him, straddling his thighs, her fingers in her hair, their mouths opening into one another, an explosion of love and desire. She's it all in the fraction of a second.

But the fantasy dies as quickly as it came.

"No." She leans back, jerking hand away. "Don't."

He ignores her, moving closer.

"Ben." She pushes against his chest. "I said don't."

He pulls back, growling his disappointment. "Rey, you want this just as much as I do. You know I can feel that. So, why are you doing this?"

"You know why." She tries her best to sound firm. "We have been over this. Not like this. Not right now."

"When then?"

She straightens. His eyes pierce hers in that way that makes her feel like he's looking through. She struggles to maintain her gaze.

What is she waiting for…?

"I…" She hesitates. "I'm not sure. Maybe…" She presses her lips together. "Maye when you can heal."

He tilts his chin up, confused. The moment he catches her meaning, his face falls.

She feels it again, a twinge off insecurity. She wants to reach for him, take his hand and assure him that he will heal someday, that she knows he's capable of that kind of love, a selfless love.

But he's gone before she gets the chance.

She slumps, huffing out a breath. It feels like someone just knocked the wind out of her.

There's a void now, an emptiness that wasn't there before. She turns in her seat, facing forward. She glances at the seat beside her, where Ben just was, like she expects him to be there again.

But no. She's alone now, just her in the transport and the forest outside.

She bows her head. She thinks back to his fingers curling over hers, that look in his eyes as he tugged her closer.

She sighs.

Part of her is proud of herself for restraining him, doing the right thing. This isn't the time for them start something like that, him leading the First Order, her part of the Resistance sworn to stop him. It would be absolute foolishness.

But another part of her sinks, wishing she could go back to that moment and make a different choice.

She snaps up, shaking her head. She looks around the transport, trying to force her mind anywhere else. Her eyes settle on the bloodstain across the way. She rises and walks to the row of seats, kneeling before the red blotch soaked into grey fabric. She sees the girl there, breathing weakly, fighting for life.

Her heart grows heavy.

She closes her eyes and rests a palm on the stain. She lets her mind grow calm, lets the calmness fill her body, slowing her pulse. She melts into the Force, its energy all around her, reaching out.

Does the girl have a future…? She whispers in her mind. Will she grow, know what it means to be free…?

She crouches, perfectly still, time and place slipping away.

Then, she tilts her head, catching a subtle shift from within.

Her lips turn up.

She opens her eyes, breathing deeply. She rises, glancing at the blood stain.

Then, she turns, heading to the cockpit without looking back.