61. Day 4 Part 16

"H-Huh?" Chloe suddenly awoke from the temporary fit of narcolepsy she must have suffered from, to find herself outside in the street, smack dab in front of a hectic scene.

Flashing lights everywhere. Police cars, ambulances, fire engines… the works. Not surprisingly, a crowd was beginning to gather around the general area of the hubbub, in the middle of which a policeman Chloe immediately recognised as Sabrina's father stood, desperately trying to control the thronged masses.

"Now, now everyone… nothing to see here." Roger Raincomprix announced over a loudspeaker, somewhat unconvincingly. "Please return to your homes and places of business immediately. Don't panic, we have everything under control..."

Yeah, right. That useless oaf couldn't even find my lost jewelry… Chloe scoffed to herself, conveniently excluding the fact that it was apparently in her bag all along. He only got his undeserved promotion because my naive father felt sorry for him. No wonder his daughter is such a screw-up. Now, if I can only figure out where the last hour's gone…

Before the heiress could mull over that pertinent question any further, two familiar shapes landed nearby, one swinging on a long-stringed yo-yo, the other attached to an extendable stick. Yep, it was everyone's favourite akuma-busters, Ladybug and Cat Noir in the flesh. Or lycra, as the case may be.

With the unexpected appearance of her idol and 'sidekick', all other thoughts the blonde had in her head dissolved into thin air, and she swiftly ran over to give her favourite superhero one of her infamous Chloe Crusher hugs.

"Ladybug!" She gushed, taking the spotted girl completely by surprise. "It's so lovely to see you again! What brings you and what's-his-face down here, today? Is it anything I can help you with?"

For some reason, Cat Noir found Chloe's forgetfulness amusing rather than insulting, while Ladybug just sighed in annoyance as was typical when her most ardent admirer started paying her extra special attention.

"Chloe, what a 'pleasure' it is to see you…" Ladybug said, not altogether truthfully. "But shouldn't we be asking you that question? Isn't it a little convenient that we're here at the site of what appears to be an akuma attack, and you just happen to be loitering around the corner?"

"O-Oh, right…" Chloe blushed slightly, before stepping back a few inches. "Y-Yes, I can see how it might seem that way. Don't worry though, I had nothing to do with whatever went on around here, honest. Besides, I was sleepwalking all this time… so I couldn't possibly know what was going on."

"Sleepwalking?! Hmm… it all seems a little too convenient to me…" Ladybug scratched the bottom of her chin, unsure what to make of the heiress's unconvincing excuse. "You have a bit of a track record at being flimsy with the truth, too… so forgive me for not accepting your story at face value."

"W-What?" The thought of her favourite hero calling Chloe a liar was almost too much for her to bear, but she swore not to get upset. Transforming into Antibug again is the last thing me, and the city need right now.

Seeking to receive an instant second opinion from a somewhat less valued source, Chloe turned round to Cat Noir and asked: "Y-You don't think I'm the cause of this incident, do you?"

"Of course not, Chlo… I-I mean, I don't really know!" Faced with the megawatt glare of two headstrong girls, Cat Noir realised too late he probably shouldn't have gotten involved. "L-Listen, we can get into who did what or when later. Let's study the situation first before we start pointing fingers. R-Right, Ladybug?!"

"Hmm. I suppose, for now…" The spotted hero seemed to accept this compromise, but her narrowed eyes didn't leave the heiress's for one moment. "I better get going then, the citizens of Paris need to know I'm doing my duty. If you know what's good for you Chloe, you'll stay out of our way. I know you never listen to us, but it would be nice if just once you'd make an exception. Well, goodbye."

As Ladybug swung over to land beside Mr Raincomprix to reassure the populace of their safety, Chloe gazed downwards depressingly, feeling somewhat hard done by over the rough treatment by her favourite hero, when she was sure she hadn't done anything wrong. At least, I don't think I did...

"She hates me…" Chloe mumbled to Cat Noir, wondering what it would take for Ladybug to give her anything other than tolerance and chastisement. "I can't even remember the last time she agreed to pose for a selfie. M-Maybe she's right to feel that way, I suppose… if it wasn't for me, you two would've had it much easier over the last year."

"Hey, hey, don't be like that…" the feline hero was surprisingly attentive to the heiress, putting a gloved mitt around her shoulders to comfort her. "I know for a fact you're doing your best, and you're finally owning up to your mistakes. It just takes time to convince people that you've changed, so be patient. Just keep on making the sort of effort that you are now, and pretty soon everything will be purr-fect!"

For once, Cat Noir's bad puns didn't bother Chloe, even eliciting a faint smile from the blonde, before a sudden thought entered her head. "Hey, wait a second…" she frowned, while raising a suspicious eyebrow. "How do you know I've been trying hard to be a better person?! Have you been climbing my hotel at night with those mangy claws, listening in on my conversations? I thought I spotted an odd shadow near my window a few days ago. Are all boys around Paris these days twisted stalkers?!"

"N-No, n-no…" Cat Noir tried to calm the seething heiress, as she advanced on him with fury. "I-It's just… my hearing. Y-Yeah, my super feline hearing! I can sometimes even pick up radio frequencies with it from as far away as Toulouse, so eavesdropping unintentionally on you is paws-itively simple! N-Not that it's right, but...oh heck, I shoulda come up with a better cover. A-Anyway, is that Ladybug I see signaling for me? Must dash. If you want my advice, just keep doing what you're doing. And always listen to your friends. Your childhood ones, especially. Caio!"

Before Chloe could challenge him further, the somewhat agitated superhero vaulted away, joining his Lady to address the adoring crowds there and watching on national TV.

As the cameraphones flashed and autograph hunters jostled for position, a distinct feeling of envy overtook a quietly observing Chloe. He might have the worst sense of humour ever and be completely rubbish at particle physics, but I gotta say… him and Ladybug make a truly unstoppable team.

Then, she remembered her little friend lurking somewhere inside her bag, and resolved to work double hard at whatever training exercises might arise in the future to fulfill her ambition. ...And one day, that unstoppable duo will be an unbreakable trio.

…

"So, what actually happened, then?" Chloe spoke to her kwami, on their way back to her room in the elevator together. "After I entered Mrs Philippes's office, I honestly can't remember a thing."

"Oh really?!" Zzubo replied, doing her best not to give anything away. "I have no idea, also. I was having a little snooze in your bag, and then next thing I knew we were outside and there were all those cops around. Are you sure you had nothing to do with it?"

"No! I-I mean yes! Aargh! Why is my brain so muddled up?!" Chloe put her hands to her forehead, on the verge of screaming out loud. "I wish I could answer for definite, but I really don't know. Would you be disappointed in me, if I was?"

"Calm down, Chloe!" Zzubo suddenly flew up to gently nuzzle herself against the heiress's cheek. "I know for a fact that you weren't responsible, I was only teasing. Just call it kwami instinct. Now, before you go to bed tonight, you and me have much to discuss. About Lila. About your father. And, of course, the next stage of your development…"

"Y-You mean… I'll get to be a superhero soon?" Chloe was so overjoyed at this potential news, she could've kissed the bee creature there and then. But she already had enough hair on her toes, she certainly didn't want a bunch in her mouth as well.

"Well, I don't want to make any firm promises…" Zzubo told the blonde just as the twin doors slid open. "...But let's just say you're a lot closer than you were to becoming one than this time a few days ago. Now, shall we…"

The words died on the insectoid's tongue as she swiftly flew back inside Chloe's holdall, at the surprise sight that greeted them both upon entry.

For there, sitting on her bed as if waiting for her, was the great Mayor Bourgeois. He was attired in more casual clothes than he'd usually wear as custodian for the city, but ones which were still much more prohibitively expensive for most people. What really stood out about him though, was his face.

Ashen, reddened, covered with the tracks of teardrops, the poor man looked as though he'd been doing a lot of crying that evening. He raised his head limply as his daughter entered, slightly patting the spot next to him on the duvet to indicate where he wanted her to sit.

Despite their current tenuous personal relationship, Chloe just couldn't let her father be this morose without trying to comfort him. That, and the sheer shock of seeing him in her room when he should be attending some boring meeting or other caused her to wander over without hesitation.

As soon as she was seated, the Mayor completely lost control of his emotions again. He began bawling like a baby, and it was all the stunned Chloe could do to pat him on the back as he sobbed relentlessly into her wooly jumper. She hadn't even seen him this blubbery when his own wife died… in fact, she barely remembered him shedding any tears being shed at all then. So what could possibly gone on while she was absent, to devastate him so much?

The answer soon arrived in the form of a strangled, garbled sentence. "Oh Chloe, my beautiful little girl, the apple of my eye, my little angel! Something terrible has happened, and I don't know what to do."

Mysteriouser and mysteriouser… wait, is that a word? Chloe pondered, before she responded to his oddly constructed statement. "What happened, Daddykins? Did someone vandalise your limo again? Throw a custard pie at your face in public? Walk up to you in the street and call you a 'no good rotten cheating stealing lying son of a'…"

"No, even worse than all of those put together!" The Mayor attempted to regain some semblance of control, and dabbed his face with a perfumed hankie from his pocket. "... She's gone."

"Who's gone, Daddy?"

"Mrs Philippes, darling. The police say they have no leads, and her office looks like a hurricanes rampaged through it. I have a feeling something terrible's happened to her…"

"W-Wait! I was just there… or at least, I think I was. I-It's all so very confusing…"

"So you were, sweetcakes! Listen: any information you can give the authorities at this pressing time would be a massive help to the investigation. You don't even have to give your name. When we find her safe and sound, I might even consider forgetting about punishing you further for that unfortunate argument you started with me last night. As long as you apologise first of course, and let me be your guiding star from now on."

"E-Er… I'm gonna have to get back to you on that one. I honestly don't remember very much of our appointment, besides all those stairs. Damn, do I hate those stairs…"

"...I understand, darling. It must be part of the shock of witnessing such a brutal scene which is suppressing the memory. I'm sure it'll all come back to you soon. For now, let your old Dad tell you why Marie is so special to me. You see, besides giving you essential psychological help to return you to the daughter I once knew, we're going to be married."

"...WHAT?!"

…

"...WHAT?!"

Same single-word sentence uttered at a similar high volume, but said by a different person under very different circumstances. Mrs Philippes had just roused from her elongated nap, to be greeted with completely new surroundings.

For one, she was on the outskirts of Paris. Another interesting observation: It was the middle of the night.

Oh and lastly, she was on the top of a whole load of rubbish. Lots of it. We're talking Everest size mountains, here.

"YUCK!" was her next highly articulate contribution to the English language, as she quickly removed an old banana peel from her nose and a couple of soiled nappies that had somehow gotten stuck to her now tangled long black hair.

"Where the heck am I?!" She picked herself up, but there was no obvious answer to that question. Other than 'somewhere very disgusting'.

"Well, you're not on Miami beach, if that's any help lady. If you ask me though, you blend in quite nicely with the environment."

A cheeky male voice spoke to her all of a sudden. Squinting to try and make out it's owner, she could just make out the slight form of a hovering cat, lit up by a pair of green eyes that seemed to glow in the dark.

Suddenly, everything came back to her. Chloe, that weird bee creature, her pristine office being wrecked… and then, who knows.

"Great, I'm having another one of my episodes…" Mrs Philippes collapsed back into the garbage, the repugnance of the situation being overpowered by her own imagined delirium. "None of this is happening right now. These fake visions are the result of some sort of nervous breakdown… yes, that's what it is."

"Hey Tikki, did you hear that? She just called us 'fake'! And there was me thinking we were going to be bosom buddies…"

"Plagg, I think the time for playing around is over. We should explain what's going on to this woman…"

Mrs Philippes's condition seemed to take a turn for the worst, as the wisecracking feline was now joined by a squeaky voiced red and black lifeform, which looked very much like a massive…

"Oh great, now a talking ladybug! Next, am I going to see a juggling spider? Or a ballet dancing millipede?! I really am going crazy! Even this garbage seems real, right down to the smell… they must have drugged me up pretty good…" Mrs Philippes had now completely lost her customary coolness, burbling away frantically while patting herself down, as if trying to locate the reassuring presence of a strait jacket.

"Relax, Mrs Philippes…" Tikki swooped down to address the panicking psychiatrist with sympathy, even if in the kwami's own mind she didn't really deserve it. "You're in the city dump. Me and my friends took you here because you attempted to stop a Miraculous Chosen from fulfilling her future role, something that as defenders of the Earth we cannot allow. She's also under Zzubo's personal protection, a role which has also extended to us now as well. When you try and disrupt destiny, I'm afraid that the only result will be failure. Now, as penance for that and your numerous crimes against humankind, I'm afraid our judgement is you shall leave Paris forever, never to return. Also, you must never breathe a word of our existence to anyone, or the consequences will be most dire. We took the liberty of packing a few things from your office, to help you on your way…"

"Alas, there wasn't any make-up left, which is a shame as you could really use it. Or maybe an entire face lift. Perhaps a personality transplant?"

"Plagg, this is neither the time nor the place for your jokes! I'm trying to convey the gravity of the situation to Mrs Philippes here…"

"HA HA HA!" The raucous sound of the psychiatrist's laughter stopped the kwamis little argument short, and they both looked down at her in confusion.

"Wow, this paranoid delusion I'm having is probably the most detailed and imaginative one ever!" Mrs Philippes continued to deny reality, as she jabbed her fingers at each kwami in turn. "I should write a children's book about you two and that ugly bee on my return to work, then later turn it into a cartoon. I'll become a multi-millionaire! Then, perhaps I wouldn't have to marry that fat Mayor and tolerate his pathetic daughter for their money. But let me play devil's advocate for a moment… just imagine, even though it's not remotely possible for a single second, that any of this is actually happening. What could you weird creatures possibly do if I picked myself up off this heap of crap now, dusted myself down and went back to Paris this very evening? Do enlighten me, this ought to be interesting…"

Plagg and Tikki glanced briefly at each other, before the female kwami attempted to answer the question. "Well, if you're referring to me, not very much. I've always been a pacifist bug myself, who prefers negotiation and compromise to reach an amicable solution. But, if that fails…"

"Then I'm your pussy!" Plagg suddenly zipped down from where he was floating to land squarely on Mrs Philippes's groin. "I know I can come across as a bit of a flippant joker most of the time, but when push comes to shove, it's worth remembering: This cat has claws. Perfectly manicured ones, naturally."

"Oh please!" Mrs Philippes continued to snicker, unable to contain her amusement at the meagre threat posed by this measly little moggy. "What are you going to do?! Spit hairballs at me? Excrete in my back garden? Yowl tunelessly on a fence at night, so I'm tired in the morning? This should be good. Come on kitty, do your worst!"

"I'll have you know I don't do any of the things my uncouth cousins are known for…" Plagg began to drift closer and closer to Mrs Philippes's smirking visage. "But one we do have in common is that we're known for bad luck. And you're about to get a taste of it for yourself. Also, I'm the epitome of decay and destruction, but we'll get to that part later. One final thing: I haven't had cheese all day."

"So?" Mrs Philippes wondered what that off-the-cuff remark meant, and rolled her eyes in exasperation.

Uh oh, she shouldn't have asked that... Tikki concluded, as the highly impressionable bug turned away just at the right time to avoid witnessing the unfortunate scene that was about to commence.

To fully block it out, she thought of cookies. She liked cookies, did Tikki.

….

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Phew, finished! Aanndd Day 4 is a wrap! Hope you all enjoyed reading it, but don't get too comfortable, as Day 5 is going to be even more action packed. Who knows, maybe I can even squeeze in a few quieter moments if you're lucky. Anyway, see you soon. Bye! :)