21. Nicole

Waverly pulled back from Nicole, turning to face her with an extremely confused look on her face. “What?!”

Nicole cocked a brow. “What?”

Waverly sputtered a few incoherent sounds before starting, “You’re American?!”

Nicole stared at her for a few seconds, almost as confused as she was. “Yes?” she finally replied, her voice faltering a bit.

“And you’re just now telling me this?”

“Yes?” she answered simply, not really knowing how else to answer the question. Waverly bobbed her head, swinging her arms out in front of her, waiting for a better explanation. “M’kay, this game isn’t good enough to watch anyway.” She flipped the TV off and stood up. Waverly thought she was leaving for a second, but she just turned the light in the living room on. She came back and sat down sideways on the couch to face her. “Baby, I thought my somewhat of a southern drawl was good ‘nough to tell you that I’m definitely not from here,” she mumbled jokingly, throwing some more country into her voice.

Waverly thought about it for a second, and it all started to piece together a bit. “Well . . . I didn’t think about that, I just thought you were weird.”

Nicole shot her a look. “Who else do you know with an accent?!”

“Doc . . .”

“Doc is from, like, Georgia.”

“Same thing.”

Nicole’s jaw dropped in offense. “No!” she huffed. “Not the same thing, oh my God.” She noticed that a thought was running around Waverly’s head since she was looking past her. “What?”

“Is that why everyone calls you Cowgirl?”

“Yes, Waves, that’s why everyone calls me Cowgirl,” she answered with a touch of annoyance at the fact. She finished off the last of her beer and went to the fridge to get another.

“Nicole, you have to work tomorrow,” Waverly grumbled when she heard her open another beer and toss the metal cap in the trash.

“And?”

“And you're gonna feel like shit if you keep drinking.”

“Well, I kinda got moved to the night shift for taking off today. Plus, this is only my sixth.”

“Sixth?!”

Nicole sat back down with a scoff. “Chill out, I’m southern. I can hold my beer.”

Waverly let out a groan and pulled the blanket out from under Nicole’s butt. “I feel that I might be here for a while, so I’m gonna get comfy.”

Nicole nodded in confirmation that she would, in fact, be here for a while. “Where should I start?” she asked, throwing her feet up on the coffee table.

Waverly pulled the blanket around her shoulders and laid back, resting her head on her lap. “Wherever you want."

Nicole nodded and took a long drag of her Bud Light. “So . . . I was born in Arlington, Texas, which is right in between Fort Worth and Dallas. I spent the first few years of my life there. I, uh, I’m an only child and I lived with both of my lovely parents.”

Waverly noticed her demeanor change with that last sentence, and looked up at her with furrowed brows. “You don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to, Nic.”

She looked down at her with a small smile. “I know. Mise well if I’m gonna tell you my life story, though, right?” Waverly nodded, pulling the blanket up over her nose and getting a strong scent of Nicole. She let out a happy sigh as Nicole continued.

“When I was five, my father got promoted to Sergeant First Class in the Army, and it was a good thing at first, but then the job started taking a toll on him. He started drinkin’ more and staying out later. He’d come home sloppy drunk and usually passed out on the couch, and my mom really didn’t like that. Like, at all. So, bless her heart, she’d always make him get in bed so I didn’t wake up for school and see my father passed out in the living room. It started out as maybe once a week, uh . . . as time passed, it was two times a week, three times a week, and so on and so on.” 

Nicole pulled in a breath, letting it out slowly. “My mom started getting mad at him, screamin’ at him when he got home at two in the morning that he wasn’t the man she married anymore, shit like that, ya know? And, uh, being the true Army man he was, he didn’t like taking orders from people that we’re below him. ‘Cause to him, she was. He was always misogynistic like that, even with me. So, uh, he’d yell back- things that no child should hear coming from their father.  And me, being the little hardass that I thought I was, sometimes would go join in on it, trying to protect my mom from him or whatever.” 

She rolled her eyes with an off-hand wave as she downed some more beer. “For a little while, he would listen to me. I don't know why, but he did. I stopped coming out, though, when he, uh-” She paused for a few seconds, swallowing her beer hard. “When he started hitting her.” 

Waverly knew it was coming. It always came like that. But it still shocked her when she said it. She sat up and grabbed for Nicole’s hand that was holding the beer bottle. Nicole pushed it in between her thighs and dropped her hand to Waverly’s, looking towards her with soft eyes. Waverly intertwined their fingers, feeling her hand cold from the bottle. She nodded her head and Nicole continued, looking up at the wall as she spoke.

“My mom and I’d always flown to see Mrs. Chetri at least once a month since I can remember. Jer and I’s mom’s had been best friends since they were kids, but Ina- his mom- she had moved with her husband up to Canada . . . Our trips started becoming longer and more frequent after all that started. Me and Jer started getting closer and my mom and his mom’s friendship grew stronger once she learned what was going on. She tried and tried to make her get a divorce, but she refused. My father would always somehow make it up to her, so she thought it was ok. He’d apologize and apologize, sayin’ that he never meant it, and she believed it. But, uh . . . one night, it sounded like it was getting, like, really bad. I heard dishes breaking and lots and lots of screaming and banging, so I came out of my room to see what was going on. He seemed to be more drunk than usual, which I don’t see how it was possible, but I guess it was.”

Nicole swallowed a little, chewing her lip in thought for a few seconds. “He had her trapped in the kitchen. I was being quiet, standing at the end of the hallway against the doorframe, but of course, dumbass me decided I wanted to move in closer. I kicked the door frame on accident when I moved and he heard me. He turned around with this evil look in his eye that I had never seen before, and I froze when he started walking over to me. He-” She paused, tilting her head back a bit and blinking her eyes rapidly.

“Nic, you really don’t have to,” Waverly mumbled quietly.

Nicole looked down at her with a shake of her head. “No, I-I want to. It’s important that you know this part of my life.”

Waverly let out a sigh, clenching her jaw. “Ok." She pulled her knees to her chest, but was still holding her hand.

 Nicole let out a breath and pushed her hand through her hair, pulling it out of a messy bun. Fiddling with the band, she began again. “He came over to me, screamin’ that I never knew how to mind my own business and that this time I’d pay for it. I was, like, completely terrified. I didn’t know what the hell that meant, I was eight years old.” Nicole swallowed again. “I learned, though, I learned real fast. He . . . He grabbed my neck and lifted me off the floor like in those fuckin’ action movies, squeezing so hard I thought my head was gonna pop off. My mom was clawing at him, trying to get him to put me down, but he was just screamin’ and screamin’ at me. He shoved me against the wall and the last thing I remember is his fist swinging towards my face.” A tear made its way down Waverly’s face and she felt Nicole gripping her hand harder. “The first thing I remember after was wakin’ up in the car. My mom was sobbing as she drove, and we pulled up at the airport. We got our shit and headed on the plane. It was summer, so we were able to stay with the Chetri’s until school started up again in August. My mom loaned some money from her brother to help her buy a house along the outskirts of Dallas, and we moved there. She ended up getting a divorce and a restraining order on my father, so that was that.” Waverly smiled up at her, rubbing her hand on her thigh.

“Things were goin’ good from then on. I was doin’ great in school, straight A’s. I always tried to keep myself busy to keep my thoughts clear, so I used athletics to help me with that. By the end of eighth grade, I was the starting catcher for school softball and for a private girl’s baseball team, was the captain of the basketball team, and I was starting goalie on the soccer team.”

“I’m surprised that you liked balls so much,” Waverly mused. 

Nicole shot beer out her nose, now coughing up a fit. Tears rolled down her face as she tried to stop laughing and coughing. Waverly pat her back, laughing along with her. “I’m sorry, I had to.” 

They both calmed down after a few seconds and Nicole went to get a towel from the kitchen with an airy sigh. “Speaking of that . . . it was around sixth grade when I started realizing that I was maybe just a little gay, which I thought was the complete end of the world. My mom was a devout Christian, like almost every Texan ever, so we went to church every single Sunday. It was drilled into my head that being gay was one of the worst sins.” 

Nicole sat back down on the couch, wiping her legs off from the beer she had spewed all over them. “I remember one specific day when we were at this diner for lunch after church, and I casually asked her somethin’ along the lines of why it was such a bad thing. She flipped the fuck out and we left, like, two seconds later. In the car, she gave me this whole lecture, talkin’ about how being a homosexual predator sends you to hell for eternity. I was like ok, great, I have a very bright future ahead of me. I was so scared. My mom was my best friend and didn’t wanna lose her.”

Waverly pouted her lip a bit,and Nicole let out a sigh. “I had heard over the years of family rumors that one of my mom’s sisters was gay and that no one really talked to her. So sneaky little me got in contact with her and asked if I could spend some time with her over the summer before eighth grade. She obviously said yes. I think it was a relief to her that someone was actually talking to her. I told my mom and she was kinda pissed, but I assured her that I totally only wanted to go ‘cause she was gonna take me to the ocean, and she knew that was my dream, so she gave in. We decided to go on a cross-country trip together. And, uh, Liz was pretty frickin’ rich, not to be blunt, so I knew we would be going to some sick ass places. I was so freakin’ excited ‘cause, one, I’d get to travel more. The only traveling I did was from Texas to Canada over and over. Two, I’d get to see the ocean on both sides of the US. And three, I’d finally have someone to talk to about all the weird ass feelings I was having ‘bout tits and ass. It was funny, though. Each time I’d bring it up to my mom, she would finish it with you best not come home gay. Unfortunately for her, though, I, uh, I was already pretty fuckin’ gay.” 

Waverly snorted with a shake of her head. “I wish I could’ve seen you as a baby gay,” she sighed, leaning her head against her shoulder.

Nicole quickly shook her head. “No, you don’t . . . I was a really weird kid.”

“I guess not much has changed then, yeah?”

Nicole smacked her on the arm. “Hey now, watch it,” she faux-scolded with a smirk, and Waverly giggled.

“So a few days after school got out, Aunt Liz pulled up to my house in her lime green convertible. I had only seen her in pictures and talked to her on the phone, so when she stepped out of the car with a half-shaved head, it kinda threw me for a loop. I’d never really seen any girl look like that before, and the ones I had were usually crazy or whatever. I was a bit nervous at first, but after about an hour of talking to her with my mom, I knew we’d have a great time together . . . The first stop on our trip was a Rangers game ‘cause of course she did. Now, when we pulled up to Globe Life Park, I was already flipping my shit ‘cause I had only been to three other Rangers games before in my entire life. But then she tells me that I get to go and meet some of the frickin’ players and that we have home plate seats! I literally almost died then and there.”

Waverly laughed a little with a shake of her head, and Nicole continued. “We made our way in and went to the gift shop. I got an Einar Díaz- their catcher- jersey and this bad boy right here.” She picked her cap up off the table and handed it to Waverly. It was obviously worn, but for being from 2003, it looked like she had taken pretty good care of it. There were signatures all over it, so she assumed Nicole would be getting to that part of the story soon. 

Waverly gently put the hat on Nicole’s head, and she smiled. “We went to our seats, which were amazing, and then we got the message that we could go out onto the field. I was hella nervous. These guys were my heroes, and I was getting the chance to meet them. It wasn’t until then that I realized that they were playing the Yankees, and that meant that Jorge fucking Posada was gonna be there. Like, ok, yeah, the Rangers are my babies and all, but Posada!? He was and still is my favorite catcher of all-time, and I was gonna meet him.” She shook her head in awe. “Now he’s a, like, five-time All-Star and Silver Slugger and four-time World Series champ, I think? Magical man right there. Anyway, we- What?” she asked Waverly, who was resting her head on her hands with a huge smile on her face.

She lifted her head and picked up Nicole’s hand, kissing her knuckles. “Nothing . . . It’s just cute watching you talk about stuff you're passionate about.”

Nicole smiled, dipping her head to hide a blush. “Oh.”

“Continue."

“Alright so . . . We walked onto the field, and we got to chat with all of the Rangers players first. They were all so nice and loved my interest in the game, so that was really cool. But then I saw Posada walking out of the Yankees’ dugout, so I sprinted from home plate to him and screamed Holy crap! You’re Jorge Posada! Or something stupid like that. He nodded his head and was like I think so. Aunt Liz came over and introduced us ‘cause I was basically hyperventilating. She explained to him that I was a catcher and he looked down at me and was like let’s see it. I was kinda confused, but he explained to me that he was gonna test my pop time.” 

Waverly cocked a brow in confusion, and Nicole remembered Waverly had no prior knowledge about baseball. “It’s how long it takes the ball to get from the catcher's mitt to the second baseman’s glove.” 

Waverly nodded in understanding, and Nicole continued with the story. “So Posada called the Yankees Pitcher out, gave me his catcher’s mask and mitt, and trotted out to second. He told me he was gonna time it from out there, so I made my way to home plate and the pitcher made his way to the mound. He asked me if I was ready and I said I was, but, honestly, I had never been so not-ready in my life. Like, I had never popped such a long distance before ‘cause the field I was used to was a kid’s field basically. And this was the MLB. I let out a breath, and he wound up and pitched probably a 60 MPH fastball to me. I snatched it up and fuckin’ cannoned it to Posada. I was so proud of myself ‘cause I had gotten it exactly where I wanted it to end up.”

Waverly smiled and gently ran her fingers across her arm. “Liz ran over to me and was flippin’ her shit, but I noticed that Posada was talking to the pitcher and showing him the stopwatch. I made my way over to him, and my cocky ass asked how’d I do? or whatever. They both looked up at me with their jaws dropped, and I was kinda scared for a second. Posada was like d’you know what you just did? and then I got really scared. He got down on his knee and grabbed my shoulder, and I was standing there with wide ass eyes ‘cause I had no idea what the hell was going on. He showed me the stopwatch, and it said 2.03. Liz peeked over and she started freaking out with the pitcher, Posada looked me dead in the eyes and was like you just threw that ball faster than some MLB catchers can.”

Waverly’s eyes popped open. “Really?!”

Nicole smiled wide with a nod. “That was my reaction, too. I knew I was a good catcher, but I didn’t know I was that good. And at 13!?”

“Jeez, Nic! Can you sti-” Waverly stopped that thought dead in its tracks when she looked down at her hand, only then remembering the damage that had been done to it. She looked back up at Nicole, whose eyes were on the cast now as well.

She was quiet for a few seconds before she looked up at Waverly. “I guess we’re gonna have to wait and see,” she mumbled.

Waverly could tell by the look on her face that it was something she hadn’t given a thought to yet. “Baby.” She tilted Nicole’s head up with her finger and gave her a small smile. “You're gonna be fine, I know it. It’s gonna be just as new in no time.”

Nicole swallowed, “But what if-”

She pressed her finger against her lips with a shake of her head. “No what if’s.”

Nicole sighed and pulled her knee to her chest. She continued on with the story, pointing out that she was too pumped to care that the Rangers lost the game. She ended up getting her hat signed by most of the Rangers and Posada. 

She and Waverly sat for an hour or so more as she told the story of the whole road trip. Sober Nicole wouldn’t have taken as long, but she had a pretty good buzz going, so her gums were flapping. She told how she went to the ocean for the first time in Cocoa Beach, Florida, and then went to Disney World. How she went to the Statue of Liberty and then saw Niagara Falls. When she went to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. How she went to the top of the Arch in St. Louis and saw the whole city. When they drove up to see Mount Rushmore. 

The story took a turn, though, when she reached the part about Yellowstone National Park.

“We were far beyond halfway through our trip when we got to Yellowstone, and it was beautiful. So many different kinds of wildlife and plants . . . I’m gonna have to take you there sometime,” she mumbled with a smile.

Waverly curled up tighter in her lap. “I’d like that.”

“You really would love it, Baby.” Nicole let out a heavy sigh, “Anyway. I still hadn’t mentioned the being a big fat homo part to her yet, which was eating away at my brain ‘cause it was kinda the whole point of wanting to go on this trip in the first place. So when we got to the Grand Prismatic Spring, AKA the giant literally rainbow hot spring, I decided it was time. We were just sitting there, eating our lunch, and I spilled the beans. I said something dumb like I think this would be the most ironic time to tell you I’m pretty gay or something. And she looked up at me with her sandwich halfway to her mouth. I was terrified. I knew she wouldn’t hate me for it ‘cause duh, but I had no clue what her reaction would be. She just kinda looked at me with a smile for a second and then dropped her head and was all I was wondering how long it would take for you to actually say it. I was confused ‘cause had no idea that she had already figured it out far before that day. She explained that it was pretty obvious with my obsession with flannels and hats and that I couldn’t keep my eyes away when she ever so sneakily took us to Hooters.”

Waverly snorted and sat up to face her. “Ya know, you really are oblivious sometimes.”

Nicole shot her a look. “How was I supposed to know about gaydar?! Or that it was painfully obvious that I wanted to puke when she asked me if I had a boyfriend?”

“Poor Baby,” Waverly teased with a giggle.

Nicole rolled her eyes and continued on. “So then we talked about it more and she explained to me that the whole Jesus is my Daddy thing wasn’t that great of a lifestyle to follow, and I was, like, shocked that you could just not believe in anything. She told me that being gay didn’t make me weird or different or a sinner or any of those horrible things my mom had told me and that was the day I decided that, one, being gay was who I was and that it was completely ok. Two, I didn’t need a religion to dictate how I lived. And three, I didn’t need to listen to the people who tried to tell me that who I was was invalid or wrong.”

Waverly smiled, pressing a kiss to her cheek. “That’s great, Baby.”

She nodded with a smile.   “The rest of the trip was fantastic, being able to be completely open with her and all. We got to celebrate her 30th birthday in Vegas together, which was hilarious . She even let me drink a little. And by a little, I mean a water bottle cap full of vodka. We continued on to Hollywood and then to the beach in Cali. We wrapped it up down in the Fort Worth Stockyards. It took us like two months to get through it all and we went through 29 states, but it was the best time of my life to this day.”

Waverly smiled and pulled her in for another kiss, tasting beer and tears on her lips. “It sounds like it was amazing, Nic.”

“I wouldn’t have traded it for the world."

“So . . . Did you end up telling your mom when you got home?” Waverly asked cautiously.

“Nope. Liz told me I should probably wait til I was sure I’d have a place to stay. We both knew she wouldn’t be ok with it and I’d most likely get kicked out, so I didn’t tell her. And I, uh, I never had to actually. During my freshman year of high school, she came home early from work and caught me makin’ out with a girl from the basketball team on the couch. The girl totally bolted, so I was stuck there alone, nowhere near ready for the wrath I expected from her. But she just kinda stood there for a good minute or so and then walked off to her room. She never brought it up, and I never talked about it. That’s just kinda how we rolled, I guess . . . We lived in the same house but never really talked to each other. She would make dinner, give me a plate, and I’d wash the dishes. We worked out some sort of silent agreement with that. And she’d drive me to baseball, basketball, and soccer practice until I got my license and my uncle gave us one of his cars I could use. Yes, I said baseball. Freshman year I was the only girl on the baseball team and I was playing Varsity and JV.” 

Nicole threw Waverly a wink, and she rolled her eyes with a grin. “That’s about all we did to interact with each other and it worked for us. I was still doing fine in school, and she seemed happy. But, uh . . .” Nicole paused, quickly sucking in a breath of air as her face slowly shifted away from it’s previous neutral expression. “Everything changed on August 18th, 2005.” Nicole’s voice broke at the end.

After a beat of silence that passed over, Waverly noticed the look on Nicole’s face was almost a mirrored image of the glimpse she caught of her right before she punched the car. Waverly’s thoughts went back to the day at the hospital when Shae had mentioned something about Nicole having PTSD from something she didn’t want her to know about. Her heart started to speed up at the thought that what that jerk had said to them had triggered something that was somehow similar to what Nicole was about to talk about. 

She saw Nicole’s eyes harden as she moved to get up, and Waverly wasn’t letting her do anything stupid again, so she climbed onto her lap and placed her hands on her upper arms, pushing her back slightly. “Nicole.”

Nicole blinked her eyes a few times, shaking her head a bit. She met Waverly’s eyes but looked down quickly, picking up her thigh as she pulled her phone out of the couch cushion to check the time. “Shit,” she muttered, standing up and unwrapping Waverly’s limbs from her body. Waverly quickly stood up, not wanting to let her leave the room unattended at this point, but Nicole shook her head in assurance. “I’ll be right back. I gotta go . . . Just- you’ll see.”

“Nic-”

“I know what you're thinking. I’m ok, Wave, I promise. I’ll be right back.” Waverly let out a sigh, assuming it would be for the better if she trusted her on it. She sat back down and Nicole walked down the hallway towards her bedroom. 

She returned a few seconds later, dropping an orange furball onto Waverly’s lap before heading into the kitchen. “Someone wanted to come and say hi.” Waverly smiled down at the cat, sliding her hand down her back. Nicole joined her again on the couch and handed her a bottle of water. Waverly noticed she was holding another bottle of water and a pill bottle in her hand, so she snatched the pills out of her hand to read the label. “I was gonna hand it to you, ya know,” Nicole chuckled, giving her a smile.

“You were moving too slow,” Waverly grumbled. Nicole rolled her eyes but started to fiddle with the wrapper of her water bottle. 

Haught, R. Nicole

Prozac  Fluoxetine 30 mg capsules

Take once by mouth every day regularly.

“I get weird at night if I don’t take them before 11,” she mumbled, taking the bottle back from Waverly. “And it’s almost one.” Waverly nodded, twisting open her water bottle for her. Nicole downed a pill and set the bottles on the table. She picked up Calamity Jane and leaned back into Waverly, resting the back of her head on her chest. She set CJ on her stomach and pulled the blanket up over them. “They, uh . . . help with my-”

“PTSD?” Waverly interrupted quietly, more as a statement than a question.

Nicole looked up at her with her brow cocked. “How’d you know . . .”

“I do use my brain sometimes, Nic, I kinda put two and two together . . .” She dropped her voice. “And I heard you and Shae talking about it the other day on accident.”

Nicole looked back down at Calamity. “Oh . . . right.”

Waverly ran her fingers through Nicole’s hair. “Look. I don’t want you to talk about something that physically hurts you, and I know that this does. I don’t want you to feel that you nee-”

Nicole flipped herself over to face her. “Waves,” she breathed out, grabbing her hands. “I know you’re worried about me, that was clear four of those whole you don’t have to’s ago. If I were you, I’d be worried about me, too, but I’m gonna tell you anyway ‘cause . . . I- I love you, Wave. You truly are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. If I may be so bold, I can really see us having a future together, and I’d really hate for all of this to get in the way of that, plus it probably would come up sometime anyway, so just- Just let me tell you it now . . . ‘cause this story is literally what shaped me into who I am today.” She held her breath, tracing over Waverly’s face and trying to read a reaction. Alcohol made her talk a lot more honestly than she sometimes wanted to, and she was only now realizing what she had said.

Relief rushed over her when Waverly’s lips twisted up into a smile as she pressed her forehead against her own and moved her hands to her cheeks. “I’m glad we’re both in agreement,” she whispered, pressing her lips against Nicole’s. 

Nicole smiled into the kiss, pulling Waverly’s legs down and slipping in between them. She pushed herself into Waverly as it got a little heated after a few seconds, but she ended up kicking Calamity, who had ventured to the end of the couch. She let out a yelp, and Waverly peered over Nicole’s shoulder, watching the cat paw at Nicole’s foot. 

“Oww, you little bitch,” she scolded through her teeth as she pushed herself up and pulled her legs away from the angry feline. Waverly giggled, and Nicole picked up the cat, plopping her onto the floor. “Damn cat,” she mumbled, running her finger along the little bloody scratch marks on her foot.

“Oh, you poor thing,” Waverly comforted sarcastically. Nicole rolled her eyes, wiping her finger on her arm. “Hey!” She huffed in annoyance as she licked her finger and cleaned off the red smear.

Nicole stood up with a chuckle, picking up her empty beer bottle and trash from earlier. “You mind if we move to my room?” she asked. “It’s kinda cold out here.”

Waverly traced her eyes up Nicole’s body and pursed her lips. “Ya know, putting some pants on might help with that,” she mumbled with a playful glare, pulling the blue blanket over her shoulders and walking towards her.

Nicole spun around with a gasp. “I thought you liked my-” she struck a pose, placing her hands on her hips and sticking her chest out, “super cool Rangers boxers.”

Waverly held back a laugh as she wrapped her arms around her waist. “Oh yes, most definitely,” she nodded, smiling up at her girlfriend, who was also holding down a laugh. Waverly was the first to break, letting out a snort as she pushed her face into Nicole’s chest. “I like drunk Nicole,” she mumbled, playing off her frat boy comment from the other day.

“Just wait until you see me dance, Darlin’,” Nicole grinned, booping her nose as she headed towards her room.

Waverly blushed, following close behind. “Now that will be a night to remember.”

Nicole looked back at her with a raised brow. “I’m not sure if that’s something you’ll want to remember.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to film it just in case,” Waverly smirked. Nicole let out a groan as she flopped onto the bed. Waverly smiled and crawled up underneath the blankets, fitting herself into the curve of her side. “So . . . I’m gonna say it’s safe to assume that you still have a thing for the ocean?” Waverly let her eyes wander around the dimly lit room.

Nicole ran her hand up and down her back with a chuckle. “How’d you guess?” 

“Just a hunch?” She rolled to her stomach, now lying halfway on Nicole.

“It’s just . . . mm, I don’t know, it’s so . . . free. There’s just so much of it, and when you’re standing there at the edge of the beach, looking out across it, you can see it bend with the curve of the Earth. It looks like it could go on forever, and then when you’re in it . . . I dunno, it's like nothing I’ve ever felt before. And scuba diving, you can see all the fish and stuff just swimming along, having the time of their lives. It’s . . . just really cool, ya know?”

“What I do know is that we have a couple of pretty frickin’ cool vacations in our future,” Waverly smirked.

“Indeed we do, Miss Earp.” Nicole let out an airy sigh. “Liz would’ve loved you.” Waverly felt her heart shatter when she heard Nicole use those past-tense words. She lifted her eyes up to meet Nicole’s. She gave her a half-hearted smile, and Waverly’s brows came together in question as she dropped her head back down to her shoulder. “You know how I said I was in Vegas when I met Shae?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I wasn’t there to party . . . Aunt Liz had moved there a year or two before that and took a job with the fire department- that was her dream even though she was already a very successful business lady. But, uh, there was a really bad apartment fire she got called to. She heard that there were still people inside, so she ran into the building over and over, getting as many as she could out . . . They said she was on the second floor when the building collapsed.” Nicole let out a shaky breath, tears rolling.

“Oh, Nic,” Waverly mumbled softly, rubbing her thumb across her cheek. “I’m so sorry.”

“I got the call the morning after. She had me listed as her next of kin, so I had to fly down there to, like, claim her body and make arrangements. It was a nice service. The whole fire squad was there. All her friends. She had always kept in contact with Jorge, letting him know how I was doing and stuff, so I got in touch with him and he showed up, too, which was nice. But, uh . . . the most surprising guest was my mom. It was the first time I’d seen her in years, and knowing how she was, I was shocked she could even give a shit about her. We talked a little bit, but when she learned that not only was I still a sinner, but that I was joining the Police Academy in a month and pursuing a man’s career, she didn’t want anything to do with me. Which was fine with me ‘cause I know I’m better off without her in my life.” She wiped her face and looked down at Waverly.

She rubbed her thumb over her cheek again. “Well, that’s good. I’m proud of you for that.”

Nicole nodded, and a slow grin pushed onto her face. “Would you like to become the third person on Earth that knows about something? Other two being Jeremy and myself.”

“Ooo, yeah!”

“So . . . I got back to the hotel room after the funeral, and I was packing my stuff ‘cause I had an early flight back to Calgary the next morning. I got a phone call and the guy was like are you Ms. Nicole Haught? all formal and shit. I was like Yeaaah? He told me that I needed to meet with him in the morning at his office to discuss Liz’s will. I told him that I had a flight in the morning and he was like Miss Haught, I’m sure you’ll  be happy to miss your flight with the information I have for you. And I was so confused. He gave me the address and hung up. So obviously, I didn’t get any sleep that night ‘cause I was confused about what in the hell he was talking about. I showed up at his office the next morning and got called in to talk with him. He told me that his company was the holder of her will or whatever, and that she had things that were listed to be mine in the case that she passed away. I got excited ‘cause I knew she had some pretty cool stuff.”

“Oo,” Waverly cooed with a grin.

“Mhm. He started listing things and was all it says here you'll inherit her condo in Las Vegas, her convertible, Harley, Lamborghini, all the items in her condo, and whatever is left of her life savings which is . . . He started typing away at his computer and my jaw was already on my lap. I remember what he said it like it was yesterday. He looked me dead in the eyes and goes 557,293 dollars and 26 cents.”

Waverly’s jaw dropped open impossibly wider than it already was. “Half a million dollars!?” she gasped as her eyes bulged out of their sockets.

Nicole licked her lips with a nod. “Right?! And then I got it all transferred to Canadian currency, and it was like $740,000 or something like that!”

“Holy shit, Nicole!”

“Like, I knew she was pretty rich, but I didn’t know she was that rich.”

“Jeez,” Waverly mumbled with a heavy breath. 

“I actually ended up passing out in the dude's office, waking up to him smacking me on my face a few times. He made sure I was ok and then continued on explaining to me the details of how they were gonna transfer the account to my name or whatever. I wasn’t really listening to what he was saying ‘cause I was, like, in shock. I left there, and obviously the first place I went to was the condo. I’d been there once before, right after she had bought it, but she had changed a few things . . . The first thing I noticed when I walked in was the tiny orange demon screaming her lungs out.”

Calamity jumped up on the end of the bed. “Yes, I’m talkin’ ‘bout you,” Nicolecooed to the cat. Waverly smiled. “I wandered into the kitchen and found her food bowl that had Calamity Jane inscribed into it, so I fed her and made my way around the rest of the house. I went out to the garage and found the cars . . . Even though I’ve gotta soft spot for the convertible ‘cause it's what I went on the trip in, the Lambo is my favorite. I mean, it’s a fucking Lambo!”

“That’s fair,” Waverly agreed, though she was still trying to put all of this together in her head.

“I ended up buying a garage up here for all three vehicles that way I could take care of them and I brought this one with me, too.” She smiled, gesturing to the cat in her arms. “Everything else is still at the condo, though.” She let out a sigh after a ew seconds, looking past Waverly. “The rest of that day consisted of lots of poor decisions like, ya know, getting married to a stranger and blowing 14K.” Waverly laughed and Nicole shook her head at herself. “But . . . after Shae, I got my life together and realized that money wasn’t to screw with. From then on, I’ve only used it to buy this place, pay off my student loans, and little things here and there that needed to be done. Other than that, I use my own money to do stuff. I don’t like relying on it, and the reason I don’t talk about it with people is ‘cause I don’t want them to think I’m bragging or flaunting it ‘cause that’s definitely not what I’m trying to do, and I don’t want you to think that either.”

“No,” Waverly assured, taking her hand. “I think it’s amazing that you got all of that passed down to you, and you should be proud of all of it.”

Nicole smiled with relief and kissed her forehead. Waverly looked up at her, wanting to ask something but not wanting to be rude. “You can ask whatever it is, Waves. You’re allowed to be curious about it all,” Nicole assured.

She pursed her lips at how she had read her mind. “How much do you have now?”

Nicole smiled, most likely predicting that’s what her question would be. “I just dropped below 500K- Now, I know that sounds like a lot is gone, but when you think about it, 140K on the house and furniture, around 52 for my college, 20K on the garage, and then the 14 I dropped in Vegas that night. That’s . . . $226,000 . . . so only like . . . 20ish-thousand I’ve spent on other stuff in the past three years. One of those things was getting the convertible repainted ‘cause lime green was her thing, not so much mine, and it looks snazzier red anyway.”

“That was some quick math, that 52 grand must’ve done its job."

“Oh. yes, my whole four years of law shit and two years of Academy,” Nicole sighed, rolling her eyes and laying back on the bed. Waverly joined her, pulling the blanket up over them. There was silence for a minute before Nicole spoke again.“Hey, Waves?”

“Hmm?”

“I want you to know that, uh, if you’re ever having trouble . . . financial wise, you can always come to me about it and I’ll help you out. Especially now that you aren’t working. I want you to have all the happiness in the world, and I know that kind of stuff can be stressful. I’m not saying you have to, I’m just saying-”

“Babe.”

“W-what?”

“Thank you . . . I’ll keep it in mind,” Waverly assured with a smile.

Nicole was quiet for a few seconds. “I just know sometimes it's hard to ask for help,” she mumbled.

Waverly felt her body go stiff underneath her. She traced her fingers slower along the skin she had already been running them along. “Nic?” she asked softly, feeling her muscles relax under her touch.

“It's just- . . . after that night, I tried to fix myself on my own, but it just made it worse. and that’s why I was so hard on you- I dunno, I’m sorry.” She covered her face with her hands as she let out a heavy breath.

Waverly let out a huff, “Don’t you ever apologize for expressing your feelings, do you understand me?” Nicole dropped her hands and wrapped one around Waverly’s back, clasping her hand over the hand that was on her stomach and fitting her fingers in the gaps.

“Ok . . . I’m gonna tell you it now, so, just- I might need a second here and there, alright?” 

Waverly gave her hand a little squeeze. “Whatever you need.”

Nicole let out a breath, knowing she was bringing back a lot of feelings and memories she had tried to push away for a long time.

“It was about nine o’clock. I had just hopped out of the shower and was heading into my room for the night. The day had been pretty good. It was the second day of my sophomore year, and we had our first basketball game of the season the next day, so I was gonna study the plays I’d been learning for the Varsity team. I did that and then read for about an hour. I was dead from practice, so at like 10:30, I went to bed. Everything was normal. But . . . But then I woke up to screaming. I figured it was just another nightmare ‘cause I got them every so often, but this one was different. I realized that I was in my current room, not my old room, and that I hadn’t lived through it yet, or whatever, you get what I’m sayin’?”

“Yeah.”

“Ok . . . My first thought was like holy shit, someone broke into my house! I jumped out of bed and grabbed my baseball bat, and I almost ran down the steps, but then I heard- mm.” She gripped Waverly’s hand a little harder. “I heard that voice I’d been trying so hard to forget.” 

The way Nicole had said that last sentence brought tears to Waverly’s eyes. She could hear how painful it was for her. She pushed the tears away, though, not wanting to distract her from sharing this piece of her life.

 “I dropped to the floor and pushed my back against the door ‘cause I- I had no idea what to do. I mean, the last time I saw that man, he was choking me up against a fucking wall! I just sat there with my hand over my mouth, trying to lessen the sounds of my breathing even though they were all the way downstairs. I tried to listen at that point, trying to figure out why he was there. It was really hard to tell what he was saying ‘cause it was so slurred and my mom was just screaming no and stop mostly. But he- He screamed one sentence as clear as day. He-” Nicole’s voice was cut with a hard sob. 

Waverly heard her breath stall, so she sat up off of her. Nicole shot up right after that, now a coughing, sobbing mess. “Sit up straight,” Waverly instructed gently, placing her hand on her back. Nicole did so and Waverly began to rub her hand up and down. She jerked forward with every cough, and Waverly tried to get her to calm her breathing down because she knew that was what was causing it. “Shhhh, breathe, Nic, you’re ok.” After a few more seconds, Nicole got all her coughs out, and Waverly reached over, grabbing her water bottle off of the nightstand and handing it to Nicole.

“Thanks,” she mumbled, taking a sip. Waverly set it back down after she was done. Nicole laid back down and Waverly curled up next to her again, interlocking their fingers. She gave Nicole a minute to get her thoughts again. Her voice was shakier when she began. “He screamed, How dare you let our daughter turn into a faggot? And it hit me in a place I’d never been hit before. I had no clue how he found out either ‘cause it’s not like I was out yet. The only person in my family that knew that I knew of was my mom.”

“Shit, Baby,” Waverly mumbled sadly.  

“I couldn’t just listen to him screaming at her about me anymore, so I opened the door a crack and slid out. I got down on my stomach at the top of the stairs so I could see down it, and I honestly think my heart stopped. He- He had a knife, and he was forcing my mom back against the counter with it in his hand. I started hyperventilating, and I ran down the hallway to grab the phone ‘cause I thought he was gonna literally kill her. I called 911, and the lady told me to stay on the phone with her. She told me to go watch them again to make sure he wasn’t hurting her, so I laid back down at the top of the steps. I was being really quiet, barely talking above a whisper to her. But . . . But when he swung the knife at her, I screamed. And of course he heard me. My mom was screaming at me to stay up there and he was screaming at me to come down, so, like, I didn't know what to do. Then he said if I didn’t come down he would kill her. And I believed it obviously ‘cause he had already swung it at her once.”

Nicole swallowed hard before letting out a shaky breath. “I hung up the phone and held my breath as I went slowly down the stairs. He yanked me down the last couple and shoved me up against the wall, completely knocking the wind out of me. I totally would’ve dropped to the ground out of fear if he hadn’t been holding me up against it, but he had the arm with the knife pressed across my shoulders as he was screaming at me. Saying shit you should never say to anyone, let alone your own kid.”  

Waverly’s heart was being torn apart by Nicole’s words. She squeezed her eyes shut before opening them again as Nicole continued, “He was calling me a demon and saying I should be burned alive, all kinds of stuff like that, along with every horrible slur. Fuckin’ dyke, fag, freak, tranny.” 

Nicole’s face was scrunched up as she said all of them as if the words were sour in her mouth.

 “He hadn’t noticed that as he was screaming and beating my face in that the knife was cutting into my arm deeper and deeper. My mom was trying to pull him off of me like she had the time before, but she was nowhere near as strong as he was, so it was no use really . . . I could hear the faint sound of sirens approaching the house, and I knew that he could hear them too ‘cause he kept turning his head, looking out the window behind us. He was getting nervous, and that made me terrified ‘cause I knew he would start making stupid decisions.” Waverly could hear Nicole’s voice getting really shaky again, and she continued to rub her thumb over her hand.

“One of the officers kicked the door in, and he . . . He pulled me in front of him . . . holding the knife against my throat. They were trying to coax him down, telling him he needed to let me go, but he just pushed it harder, telling them that if they stepped any closer he’d kill me then and there. They had gotten my mom out of the house by this point, so it was just me, him, and four officers, all with their guns drawn and pointing at him. Three of them were taking their turns yelling at him, but . . . the other one was talking to me. He was telling me that I just needed to stay still and that I was gonna be ok.” 

Waverly heard Nicole swallow and she looked up, seeing she was crying again. She sat up, not wanting her to start coughing again. Nicole sat herself up and pushed her hand through her hair as she began again, Waverly probably being the only person that would be able to understand what she was saying since she was sobbing pretty hard.“We were there for, like, 20 minutes, and I don’t really know what happened. There was so much going on, and I was losing a lot of blood from my arm, so I think I was in shock. But they all started yelling louder, and he was getting reall fuckin’ agitated . . . And it all happened in slow motion. He threw me to the ground away from him and I watched . . . he . . . he charged at them . . . and they fuckin’ filled him with holes.” 

Nicole was sobbing too hard to speak now. Waverly scooted closer to her, and Nicole buried her face into her shoulder as she pulled herself onto Waverly’s lap. She just cried in her arms, and Waverly did, too. She just couldn’t imagine what that was like for her. Yeah, she had watched her own father die right in front of her face, but this was different than that because she could hear how it had scarred Nicole.

It took a little while, but Nicole calmed down for the most part. She slowly pulled back from Waverly and wiped her face with the bottom of her shirt. Waverly wiped her eyes with her fingers and dropped her hands to Nicole’s thighs, looking up into her bloodshot eyes. 

Nicole let out a sigh, glancing over to Waverly’s shoulder. “I snotted all over your shirt,” she sniffled with a sad smile.

Waverly laughed, pulling a strand of hair that was stuck to her teary face away. “I don’t care,” she mumbled, cupping her hands on her cheeks and tilting her head up to meet her eyes. “You ok?” Nicole nodded, mustering up a small smile. “Ok,” she breathed out with relief.

“You wanna hear the rest?”

“Only if you’ll be ok telling it.”

Nicole pushed herself off her lap, grabbing Waverly’s water bottle from her and taking a drink. She handed it to her after she was done. “I’ll be good,” she assured. 

“Mk, go ahead,” she sighed as she pulled CJ into her lap.

Nicole resituated herself. “So . . . I remember screaming and pushing myself away from him. I covered my face and I heard someone run to me. I looked out and saw the softest eyes looking back at me. It was that one officer. He told me that I was ok and that they had to do it or whatever. He got me up and out of the house where an ambulance was waiting . . . I was a mess for the next few days. Lots of doctors came to talk to me, but I didn’t talk to any of them. They told me I was lucky, that he almost hit a big blood vessel in my arm and that he’d managed to not break any bones in my face. ‘Cause, ya know, that’s what made me lucky in the end, I guess.” 

Nicole pulled her t-shirt sleeve up on her left arm, revealing a pretty long and decently wide scar. Waverly’s breath hitched in her throat as she traced her eyes over it. Seeing something that was left behind on Nicole from all of this really made it real in her head. She ran her finger over it, looking up at her with her brows furrowed. 

“Jeremy and the rest of the Chetri’s came to visit me and Liz told me I was gonna be staying with her ‘cause my mom wasn’t stable enough to handle me anymore. I was out of school for, like, a month so I could recover mentally and physically. But, even when I did go back, I wasn’t the same. After a few months, Liz got me into a therapist that said I had pretty severe PTSD, and that’s when they got me on that Prozac stuff. From then on, things got better. I was still doing well  in sports and school. We won the championship in my senior year for baseball, and I set my record pop time in that game at 1.64 seconds. I graduated fourth in line for valedictorian, which is pretty good for having a class of 600. I got at least five full-ride offers for baseball just in Texas, I couldn’t tell you how many in total, but I turned them all down. I didn’t want to stay in Texas. Or the US. I applied for college up here in Calgary and got accepted, so I moved in with Jeremy until I saved up enough to start renting an apartment . . . and the rest is history I guess.”

“That’s . . . one hell of a life story, Nicole Haught.”

“Sure is,” she mumbled, fluffing her pillow a bit. “You ready for bed or d’you wanna watch a movie or something?”

“Mm, I’m tired,” Waverly said through a yawn, setting CJ at the end of the bed.

“Ok, good. I’m exhausted,” Nicole chuckled, laying down.

“Then why’d you offer?” she asked with a laugh, laying completely on top of Nicole with her head resting right above her heart.

“I dunno,” she mumbled.

Waverly rolled her eyes, looking up at her. “Goodnight, Weirdo,” she sighed with a smile. 

Nicole flipped the light off on the nightstand. “Night, Weirdo,” she mumbled back.

Waverly pushed herself up, pressing a chaste kiss to her lips before laying back down and listening to the steady thumping of her heartbeat. She heard her breath even out after a little while, so she finally relaxed, knowing Nicole was sleeping peacefully. Waverly let out a heavy sigh, smiling as she closed her eyes.

“I love you, too, Nicole Haught.”