35. Weeb Town 2 ~Franken-Avatar~

"So..." said Miguel, sighing. "Who do you think is going to die in this movie?"

All the Crusaders are watching a horror movie.

"Ooh!" shouted Arthur, drinking another Cola. He slams the bottle down and answers. "The black guy! They always die first!"

"Dad!" shouted Miguel, scolding him. "That's correct! I was supposed to say that!"

"Why do the black guys always die first in these kinda movies?" asked Jedan.

"Movie politics," said Jessica, crossing her arms. "In horror movies, people always do the dumbest decisions like look where they're not supposed to and not turning the lights on when facing the monster. It's an effective way for scary movies to be even called scary. That's why they became cliches."

"Like Marvel being called better than DC?" asked Miguel.

"Yes," said Jedan. "It's only better because the companies advertise them enough since they thought that the people liked it so much. Either that or people are just inherently biased in watching their movies. The only reason why people like Marvel more is because the plot is advertised to be well-developed and its writing is just so much better. But art is art. Never question an artist's work from what they say."

"Who's 'they?'" asked Jessica.

"You know!" replied Anne. "Them! Those big guys with the suits saying which movies are good or not!"

"Critics, you mean?" asked Miguel. "Those guys who you see in Yelp? Why are they so important? I saw a critic walking inside 7/11 in his underwear. I believe his username was DemonSlayerSassabrass6986?"

"Miggy," said Anne. "Stop hacking people's accounts without their consent."

"I stopped when I found Yoshiko already! Hay Naku...!" he replied.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" shouted the woman in the television.

"What?! But she wasn't even colored like we are!" he shouted.

"Welp! This didn't do a cliche!" shouted Miguel. "This movie is immediately awesome."

Kariel is shown covering his head under some pillows while burying his face on the couch.

"Is it over?"

"Faith, not anger..." whispered Miguel to himself while buying some groceries.

Miguel sighs and puts some Lucky-Me Pansit Canton Chilimansi into his basket. They are instant dry noodles with a sour taste because of a citrus fruit called the Calamansi. It's spicy and tastes incredibly good. He puts it in the basket and buys it from the cashier.

"150 pesos, sir," he said. "Bag it yourself," he rudely continued.

Miguel stayed stoic and stood proudly, bowing his head.

"U-Uh..." stuttered the cashier. "Y'know what? I'll do it for you!"

"Huh? Why? What I do?" asked Miguel to himself in his thoughts.

He grabbed the paper bag and walked back to his house. He walked on the bridge and walked on the path to his house. He takes out the keys from his pocket and puts the house key in the keyhole. He entered inside. He walked upstairs and toward the house up the hill. He unlocked and entered his house. He put the groceries on the shelf and sat on one of the two chairs across the television.

He checks his phone.

"No crime..." he softly said. He then lets out a big sigh. "I miss Balsby," he thought to himself.

Miguel takes out his SmartPhone and calls someone named, "I<3Velocipastor" in Messenger.

A man slaps his cheek thrice. It's Jubby in a cave.

"Jubby!" smiled Miguel. "How's Balsby?"

Jubby shows Balsby to Miguel, who is sitting behind him.

"Hey, Balsby!" smiled Miguel.

Balsby stayed quiet. Miguel gives a big and sweet smile.

Jubby slaps his belly twice.

"No, Jubby," smiled Miguel as he then chuckled. "I'm not single anymore... I think...I've been dating this girl..."

Jubby then turns around and slaps his own butt thrice.

"No! Gross!" shouted Miguel. "I actually... like this one... as... a person... like... romantically..."

Jubby slaps his nipples once, then his crotch, and finally shrieks.

"Jubby, stop being such a perv," he sighed.

Jubby farts.

"Nope," said Miguel. "We're not at that point in the relationship yet..."

Jubby puts his hand on his armpit and makes a farting noise.

"Jedan is having rounds with his clients. Jessica is having overnight because of paperwork. Kariel is putting out fires in his office. Anne is visiting her dad. And Dad is out drinking somewhere. It's not what you think. He went to a Coca-Cola Convention. Coke-Con. Sounds illegal but it isn't."

Suddenly, a lion enters Jubby's cave. Jubby then takes out his magical spear and points it at the lion, blasting energies at it.

"I see you're in a busy time," said Miguel, as Jubby has his arm mauled by the lion. He screams in pain and makes a puckering sound with his lips.

"Bye, Jubby," he said.

Jubby then kills the lion with the spear.

Jubby then held his nipple with his hand that's holding the spear and points to Miguel.

"Love you too, buddy," said Miguel.

The call ends.

Miguel shakes his legs as he thinks for a moment. He turns on Netflix and looks for something interesting. He sees a series he had wanted to watch for a long time now.

"This show has been removed by Netflix."

"Damned Capitalists," said Miguel.

*RING RING*

"Goddamnit," said Miguel, as his phone rang. He answers it.

"WHAT?!" asked Miguel. "FOR THE LAST TIME, JERRY!!! I AM NOT A SOCIALIST!!! NO!!! I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THE SEVEN NATION ARMY!!! THEN TELL THEM TO REMOVE ME OR I'LL TEAR THE FILIPINO GOVERNMENT APART!!!Oh! 'You think I can't?!SEE WHAT I DID TO THE UNITED STATES AND HAVING THAT IDIOT WIN THE POLL BACK IN 2028!!! What's his name?! Exotic Joe or whatever? YES!!! THE TIGER GUY!!!YEAH!!!I AM NOT A SOCIALIST!!! SCREW THE CHINESE!!!Okay? 'We cool?Okay...No! I won't destroy the Filipino Government as long as you stay outta my way...I just wanna kill Salvi...I know I'm being recorded... So fear me!Do you want Valentino's kid to be voted for office?! How about MACARTHUR?! OH!!! HOW ABOUTTORU?!!Yes... Beg for mercy... Just how I like it!Okay, good. If you dare to tag me again, I'll beat your moms."

Miguel puts down the phone and searched for more movies on Netflix.

*RING RING*

"UGH!!!"

Miguel takes the call.

"WHAT?!!!" asked Miguel. "Ugh! WHAT DO YOU WANT, MR. PRESIDENT?!!!NO!!!KILL ME?!!FOR THE LAST TIME, I SAID I WON'T JOIN YOU!!!Because that is not called the South China Sea... IT'S THE WEST PHILIPPINE SEA!!!NOW, YOU LISTEN HERE!!! DON'T YOU GO EATING HONEY ON ME ON THIS ONE!!! MARK MY WORDS!!! I WON'T JOIN YOU!!!Thank you for the Electric Car... I accept it as a gift, not as payment for my allegiance.WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU GAVE US TIKTOK?!!SCREW TIKTOK!!!DON'T CALL THIS NUMBER AGAIN!!!Tch-...Yeah I was good in bed, wasn't I?Yea-...Waaaaait a minute. YOU'RE DOING IT AGAIN!!!NO!!!AGAIN, DON'T CALL THIS NUMBER!!!"

*beep*

*slam*

"Hay Naku..." sighed Miguel. "Guess I'll watch Peppa Pig."

Miguel watches an episode of Peppa Pig. In this episode, Peppa was forgotten by Santa Claus, so she didn't get a gift on Christmas.

"Serves you right, pig!" shouted Miguel. "All those times bullying everyone in your life except your mother. Shameful trash of a human being. Bullying especially your father and brother. Animal!"

Miguel sighs.

"God, I'm lonely," he sighed.

*dingdong*

"Yes?" he asked, opening the gate. "Oh... Hey, Zed. Ryle."

Zed and Ryle stand right next to each other.

"MIGUEL!!!" shouted Zed, grabbing his shoulder. "LORD JOINED A CULT!!!"

"Huh?"

The two were given a cup of chamomile each.

"Don't you ever sleep, Miguel?" asked Ryle.

"I have Extreme Chronic Insomnia," said Miguel. "I am incapable of sleeping."

Note: That disease is fictional. If you can't sleep for a long time, it's probably just Chronic Insomnia. Call a doctor if that's the case.

"How'd it happen?" asked Miguel.

"They said you were there," said Zed.

"Of course they did," said Miguel.

In the Reapercave, Miguel typed in several police reports connected to this cult.

"The Cult of Praed Shivus," said Miguel. He then sees several pictures of deceased women having amputated body parts.

"Trophies?" asked Ryle.

"No," whispered Miguel. "Fodder."

"To what?" asked Zed.

"Praed Shivus," replied Miguel.

"What's that?" asked Ryle.

"One of the gods," said Miguel.

Ryle chuckled.

"There is no God," said Ryle.

"There is," said Miguel. "I've met Him. He's quite the looker... Terrifying but respectable. Massive ego, but incredibly kind."

"Okay," scoffed Ryle. "Where did you meet this 'God' of Yours."

"On the island," said Miguel. "It's the Island of the Damned, after all. Lamigan Islands. I've witnessed things there that you won't believe."

"You're right," said Ryle. "I don't believe. What's a god anyway?"

"A god is a title given to a race of beings from the 4th World known as the Niburuans," explained Miguel.

"Aliens?" asked Ryle.

"Blasphemy!" shouted Zed.

"Not exactly," said Miguel. "One of them hosted a program that ended up creating life on Earth, after all. His name was El. He was originally a poor man that later rose to the occasion to fight rebels who battle against the Republic of Niburu. After Niburu's fall, the nations went to other Planets in the Fourth World and went to war against each other. El ended up defeating all known rebels, including the most dangerous rebel that was led by his own son, Samael. El ended up ruling Niburu as an ironically kindhearted warlord. El later became something more through intense meditation."

Miguel's eyes turn silver for a very short second.

"He relied mostly on his faith through this meditation, and later went into the Beginning and the End of the Omniverse," said Miguel.

"This alien became God?" asked Ryle.

"Precisely," said Miguel. "There are enough gods in the Omniverse to make Heaven full. They are the ones that control fate. Olympus, Asgard, Punt, K'unLun, Brahmaputra, Earth's Moon, Mars, The Prime North Pole, Lovecraftverse, The Hollow Earth, and Land of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, are all Lands of the Gods throughout the Fourth World."

"So..." said Zed, bowing his head. "Dinosaurs aren't real."

"OY!!!" shouted Ryle.

"They were," said Miguel.

"So!" shouted Ryle. "Adam and Eve are entirely fictional!!!"

"Adam and Eve still happened," said Miguel. "Think of them as the two first human beings to evolve from their previous forms in prehistory."

"And the Snake and the Apple?!" asked Ryle.

"God evolved them into a worm," said Miguel.

"So... is God a good person?" asked Ryle. "Then why did he do so much evil? Why do bad things still happen?"

"Because He loved his firstborn too much," said Miguel.

"Samael?" asked Zed.

"He renamed himself after the rebellion," said Miguel. "Lucifer Morningstar."

"Is he evil or just misunderstood?" asked Ryle.

"You really wanna know?" asked Miguel.

Ryle and Zed both nod.

"He owes me five bucks," said Miguel. "So in my opinion, he's an ass.Found it."

Miguel sees that each of their killing spots has a center, which is in a mall. It is the main mall in Burnham City, which is the San Diego Supermall.

"SDS," said Miguel. "Let's go to SDS, guys. Suit up."

"No, no, no, no!" shouted Ryle. "I don't like doing anything that... well... dirties my hands."

"I would!" laughed Zed, as he sneered violently. He then summoned his Stand which encases himself in his suit. "Let's go and save Lord, bitches."

"We don't have a plan," said Miguel. "Also, Ryle doesn't have a suit. Maybe we should think about our next attack. Let's start by observing the enemy's territory."

Miguel types something on his keyboard.

"Initiate Secret-Buster."

He then speaks to the Microphone.

"Coordinates: 16.4089° N, 120.5992° E. SDS 231 Greenland Street, Burnham City," he said.

The entire Supermall vibrated as Miguel gets an Ultrasound image of its entire structure.

Miguel observes it.

Miguel uses the screen to show the mall from the inside out. It's 3 dimensional and rotates as the three observed.

"There's a cave," said Miguel. "Underneath the Mall, there is a cave connected to the sewage system."

The trio ends up in the sewers. They walked in the smelly waters as they searched for the cave in the system.

Miguel, as The Reaper, walked slowly, searching for an enemy.

Ryle is geared up with some soldier armor and a gas mask.

Zed is using his Stand as his own armor.

The three searched for noises in the sewers.

A siren could be heard echoing in the distance. It sounded like a screeching canary with its voice slowed down hundreds of times. Though, it was soft and still.

"Get down!" shouted Miguel.

*splash splash splash splash*

Something was approaching them.

The splashing stopped.

Miguel allowed Star Platinum to appear from behind him. The smell of steak could be smelled in the sewers.

"Kinda hungry right now, to be honest," said Zed.

"Shush!" shouted both Miguel and Ryle, staying down.

"GUYS!!!" shouted Lord, who appeared behind them.

"GAH!!!" shouted the rest of them. "LORD!!!"

"Hey, guys!" laughed Lord. "Hello, Miguel, my Queen."

"Hello, my one, and only simp," Miguel said to Lord.

"What about Anne?" asked Zed.

"Hello, my second simp," corrected Miguel.

The three stand up as Ryle and Zed hug Lord.

"Let's get outta here!" shouted Zed.

"No, guys..." said Lord. "We need to handle something first!"

"Which is?" asked Miguel.

The siren is heard once again. This time, it came from the other end, which is where the three came from.

*splash splash splash*

Slow splashing could be heard from the faraway.

Suddenly, running began.

*SPLASH SPLASH SPLASH SPLASH SPLASH*

The four immediately ran back to where Lord came from.

"Are there openings above us in the way we're going?!" asked Ryle.

"No," replied Miguel. "We'll try to circle whatever that creature is around the cave!" shouted Miguel. "This place is too small for us to get back to where we came from!"

The four ended up in the cave system.

The splashing stopped.

Every cultist had their body parts torn off. They each look like they were mauled by a large animal. With body parts torn apart, flies feasted on their remains.

"This is a naughty spot for us to do each other, huh, Miguel?" asked Lord.

"Speak like that I'll tear your cock out," said Miguel.

"I'll whip your cock out," smiled Lord.

"Something's in the cave with us," said Ryle. "I can sense..."

"Stand Energy?" asked Zed, as he initiates a spell whispering Latin phrases. "Placebat ei pulsare magicae...placebat ei pulsare magicae... placebat ei pulsare magicae..."

A fist appears behind him as the splashing could be heard echoing in the walls.

"What can it do?" asked Miguel.

"I don't know," said Ryle.

Suddenly, Zed slipped on a banana peel.

The cave lit up to reveal a magical carnival.

A monkey then appeared out of nowhere and started slapping him in the face.

"You lack character!" shouted the monkey, as he began writing on a typewriter one of the body's hands gave to him.

An elephant walks in and kisses Lord on the lips with its trunk.

Lord and the elephants start doing the river dance.

Miguel starts to do parkour with the magical unicorns from Narnia while also juggling DC Characters with his tentacles.

Miguel then sucks water out of a hose.

The Crusaders are there and dance to the tune of Macarena.

Ryle... however... witnesses all this... and is still self-aware.

"Heaven's Door!" shouted Ryle, as a white Ghost-like Stand with a golden striped face wearing a little tailed coat with a top hat emerged from his boy. It wields a pen.

The creature appeared behind Ryle. He backs away from it, but Ryle is in front of it. No... it's behind Ryle. That's what it decided. Or at least, that's what the being possessing it decided.

Heaven's Door immediately turned her face into several pages.

Ryle read the pages.

"'I am,'" read Ryle. "' Wet.' 'Hungry.' 'Fear.' 'Confusion.' 'Anger.' 'Kill.'"

Those are the only things written on the pages.

Ryle writes something on the pages.

"I am a good person," wrote Ryle. "Therefore, I will not hurt innocent people."

The pages on her face disappear.

"Maybe there are gods after all," whispered Ryle. "I'm realizing that each victim had at least one organ or body part taken apart from their body. The cultists knew that they were going to die because they wanted you in the world. You are Praed Shivus. You're made of several teenagers' body parts."

"Yes..." said the creature. "I call myself... Teenage Frankenstein. What is my purpose, Ryle?"

"You're a god, Teenage Frankenstein," said Ryle. "At least... your Stand's a god. You are what they call an Avatar. An Avatar is a Stand-User in legends. An Avatar is possessed by one of the mythological gods. I'm guessing Christ was one, too. Guess I'm going from atheist to deist now.So what do you choose to be?"

"You wrote on me," said Teenage Frankenstein.

"Yes," said Ryle. "To make you chill. But based on your ability, you could just erase it with a single touch. What do you choose to be, then?"

"I choose to be," replied Teenage Frankenstein.

Her body parts stench with rotten flesh. She bleeds frequently. Slime and puss dripped from her body.

"Then be," said Ryle.

"But... I'm scared..." she said, beginning to cry. "Is there God?"

"Guess so," said Ryle. "I don't believe in Him, though."

"Why?" she asked. "Then kill yourself."

"No," said Ryle. "Because I enjoy it."

"I live," she whispered. "What is my purpose?"

"Figure it out," Ryle smiled and shrugged.

"'Figure it out,'" she smiled and turned slightly red. "I'll do that." she marched away. "I am. I am. I am. I am. I am."

*splash splash splash splash*

"Why is Miguel sucking my belly button?" asked Lord.

Miguel vomits on his belly.

"I wanna be alone again," said Miguel, standing up, putting his mask back on, and walking away. "Everyone go fuck yourselves."