145. Lord Marvel vs. Steven Universe vs. Star Butte...

A pink-jacketed man wearing a black shirt with a golden star on the middle, black pants, and sandals dropped from a portal with a blue-skirted woman with red ballerina shoes.

The man was tan with black curly hair and rose-colored eyes.

The woman was blonde with fair skin and blue eyes.

The two of them walked along the beach of San Diego as they prepared their weapons.

He manifested a pink shield while she manifested a wand with wings and a star in the middle.

They faced each other in intrigued silence.

(Never actually watched Naruto, but my friends loved it... So this is the OP for this Season...)

Lord and Lei happily eat dinner at their place. It's been five years since the battle against Kapitan Dirigma, and Lord and Lei are at peace.

*bzing*

A green portal opens as Rick Sanchez and Morty Smith enter the facility.

Note: Read JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Grimm for context. Cartoon characters are a stigma in the fourth Part... and... this Part, the fifth.

"Can we not stop at Jessica's anymore? It's been awkward since she became a Time God," said Morty, walking out of the portal.

"For the last time, Morty. That woman has a brain comparable to a Flatulean," replied Rick.

"Oh geez... I just can't handle our break up from five years ago..." said Morty.

"Morty. You didn't break up with her. All you did with her was makeout on my couch while I dealt with an actual problem."

"How is Nimbus a problem!?"

"HOW ARE YOU SUCH A PAIN IN THE ASS!? I TOLD YOU TO JUST DELIVER WINE YOU, YOU THIRSTY INCEL!!!"

"Don't call me that! It's 2021, for God's sake! I could be canceled by Twitter or they could compare me to... I don't know... Stalin!?"

"Uh... Not to intrude... But what are you doing in our house?" asked Lei.

"Oh... Right... We're being rude," said Rick. "Uh... *burp*... Lei... I've been tasked by Miguel JoJo to make you my bitch."

"Excuse me?" asked Lei.

"I own Weeb Town now. Weird name, by the way," said Rick.

"Also, it's kinda racist. Weeaboos are western people liking eastern stuff. And you are eastern stuff," said Morty.

"That's not racist! If anything, what they're doing is the opposite of racist and you're the one being racist, racist," said Rick. "Why? Because they're already eastern. Another? Because they're just appreciating another culture. You're racist to Filipinos calling them 'eastern stuff,' Morty."

"Oh geez... Sorry, Philippines," said Morty.

"It's cool," said Lord and Lei.

"Wow! Filipinos sure are nice, Rick," smiled Morty.

"Yeah..."

"Oh, shit... Was I just racist just now?"

"That isn't racism. That's stereotyping, Morty."

"Oh, thank God!"

"So..." said Lord. "We work for you now?"

"Yes," said Rick. "I hate government but I'm helping Miguel JoJo for a reason. So this is only temporary."

"Oh please!" laughed Lei.

"A problem, Ms. Zeppelin?" asked Rick.

"It's Zeppeli," said Lei. "And we don't need your help!"

"Why is that?"

"Could you even tell us what department of the Hellsing Organization you belong to?" asked Lei.

"I belong to the DEPX," said Rick.

"Which stands for?"

"Department of Extraterrestrial Protection and Xenoscience."

"Damn it," said Lei.

"And by the way, my IQ is at least 5,000 IQ. And I don't mean it in a dumbass 14-year-old Quora text conversation way. I mean it in a literal 5,000 IQ... way. Like... My brain has an IQ of 5,000."

"What's the thousandth number of pi?" asked Lei.

"8. That is if you're counting 3 as a digit."

"How many chucks would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood?" asked Lord.

"Up to 35 cubic feet of dirt."

Lord stares at Rick's bored eyes.

"Those aren't even words," said Lord, pointing at Rick.

"Oh, come on! It's just new management! Don't be fucking children!" yelled Rick.

"What happened to the last guy!?" asked Lord.

"There wasn't 'a last guy.' I used to be the head... I think," facepalmed Lei.

"Miguel says that I am an absolute importance to your team," said Rick.

"Well... I say no to that! I'll have them on dinner in the Kingdom of Naples this week!" laughed Lei. "And nothing's gonna stop him from my feminine charms!"

"I'm not comfortable with you doing that," said Lord.

"I'm still sleeping with you in the end," said Lei.

Lord stares at Lei. "See if you could get us raises."

In the Vacanze a Napoli Mini-Arc in JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Grimm...

"No," said Miguel.

"But-!" yelled Lei.

"No," said Miguel, as he casually ate a pizza.

"I'm hot though..." she whispered.

"Your cleavage is showing," said Miguel, as she covers herself up in embarrassment.

Now...

Everyone is on the same spot as they were before.

"So. How did that go, Ms. Zeppeli?" asked Rick, looking all smug with arms crossed, sneering.

"Tch-..." said Lei.

"Just as I thought," said Rick. "The Jo Man thinks I'm a better leader."

"You're a Cartoon Character from a Rhapsody Dimension! You're basically a fabric of a New God's imagination!" yelled Lei, slamming the table.

"Yeah... That came to life and became the most intelligent man in every universe!" yelled Rick. "Lick lick lick mah balls numbnuts!" he laughed as he suggestively danced.

"Morty. Show them their assignment," said Rick. "Also, I saw you pick your nose and eat your boogers. Stop that."

"Oh... Uh... Two mysterious aliens, as detected by our Extraterrestrial Radars, were spotted on the beach of West San Diego isolated island known as Lanlanan," said Morty, chewing. "We need to have your team dispatched on the beach."

"Jesus Christ... Are you still eating the-! God, Morty! How long have you been doing this!?"

"I don't know! A long time? Maybe?" said Morty, grabbing his arm.

"Finally! After five years of silence! Some action!" laughed Lord.

"Don't say that. You might get killed because of plot irony," said Rick. "Also... this pair of aliens are Stand-Users."

"Say no more! We're going!" yelled Lord, standing up.

That night...

Celine uses one of her planes to scan the area for extraterrestrials nearby by searching for their Carbon Dioxide exhalations. Lei, Yang, Celine, Zed, Van, and Ryle stay behind some rocks looming over a beach.

"Wait... What if the aliens are wearing suits and don't breathe oxygen? And what if they breathe nitrogen instead of oxygen?" asked Yang.

"Fair point," said Celine.

She looks up and checks the place with her binoculars as she retracts her Stand.

"But then again it is more likely for them to breathe carbon dioxide... being sent to Earth and all."

She returns her Stand and returns behind the rock.

"But then again... The suit thing does make sense as well-..."

Lei slaps the back of Yang's head. "Just have her do both you imbecile!"

Celine does so and she detects carbon dioxide readings 47 meters away from them.

"What is this power?" asked Celine in her thoughts. "I can sense a powerful aura of magic and Stand energy coming from one of them... and powerful... I don't know... from the other."

The curly-haired man and the blonde woman faced each other with angry eyes.

"Who are you supposed to be?" asked the man.

"Someone who's trying to save her world. You?" asked the woman.

"Someone who's trying to save his own," replied the man.

Rick and Morty enter the scene by watching from their spaceship from above.

"Huh... Those guys look familiar," said Rick, as he drinks some alcohol from a flask. "Fight 'em off, dum-dums!" he cheered.

"Who are we cheering for?" asked Morty.

"I don't fucking know! Who cares? It's a Stand-Off!" laughed Rick.

"Where the hell is Lord!?" asked Lei.

The man and woman stare at each other as they prepare their weapons. He has a shield. She has a wand.

"Diamond..." she whispered.

"HOLY FUCK!!! MORTY!!! THAT'S A DIAMOND!!!" yelled Rick. "AND THAT'S A FUCKING MEWMAN PRINCESS!!!"

"Is that supposed to mean something? Is that a gay lingo I don't know about or-?" asked Morty.

"Oh... You gotta watch this, Morty! Two 4th-World beings battling it out over who the fuck cares!?"

"BACON KITTY HAWAIIAN NIGHTMARE!!!" she howled as she blasted a rain of three-eyed kitties, bacon, and pineapples.

The man is weirded out by this attack as he brings out his shield and tosses it toward her. She dodges, yelling, "WHOA!!!" as the shield spins and bounces back.

Spin Energy begins resonating from his round shield.

Lei sees this and gasps.

"NARWHAL BLAST!!!" she yelled as a stream of narwhals come raining down toward the man.

The man blocks the attack once more, this time via a large bubble with spikes.

He lodges the bubble toward her as she blasts a spell... A spell with no name.

"RAUGH!!!" she yelled. "YOU KILLED MARCO!!!" she sobbed.

"I don't know what you're... TALKING ABOUT!!!" yelled the man, struggling to block the attack.

Zed whispers something and snaps his fingers.

The "wand" is disabled as the man tiredly retracts the bubbles.

"Huh!?" asked the woman, as she moves her wand left and right. "Come on! Twinkle Twinkle! Why... aren't you... working!?"

"Just as I thought. The Stand is the wand... and it can manipulate magic," said Zed. "She's very primitive, however... She must be from another dimension. A medieval one... But she has experience with modern life and has experienced deadlier magical beings."

"Interesting," said Lei.

"Stay down!" yelled the man, as he threw his shield.

"WHOA!!!" she yelled, as-...

*clang*

Lord grabs a hold of his shield.

"Who are you?" asked the pair.

"I..." Lord poses. "...am Lord Marvel."

*dun-dun!!!*

"Who?" asked the man.

"Earth's Greatest Hero?" asked Lord. "Uh... Hello? Most powerful alien warrior in the world? Finest internet celebrity icon of the century?"

The man shrugs.

The woman asks. "Are you that guy with the hammer?"

"No... That's Thor from the Marvel Universe. He's fictional. I'm Lord Marvel from Earth D4C-Grimm," smiled Lord.

"You're that guy with the S?" asked the man.

"No... that's Superman," said Lord.

"What's the difference?" asked both of them.

"One's afraid of rocks and one isn't," said Lord.

"Master Lord. That is a Diamond. Be very wary of it," said Motorhead, who is on Lord's shoulder.

"My robot says that you're a Diamond... I do not know what that means..." said Lord.

"What is that idiot doing!?" asked Lei, angrily.

"But that means you're a rock," said Lord. "And rocks always go down."

"What?" asked the man, confused.

Lord's Stand, Crazy Diamond, emerges, with Wrecking Ball.

Lord throws the Wrecking Ball as the man blocks it with his spinning Shield.

"Hey!" yelled the man. "Why the heck is there another guy controlling your weird ball around!?"

"Character consistency. He doesn't swear... I like that," nodded Rick.

"Yeah! That sure is something!" laughed Morty.

"This is my Stand," smiled Lord.

"Your what?" asked the man.

"Kinda like my spirit guardian. Damage on him reflects on my body and all," said Lord.

"Like this!?" asked the man as he punches Crazy Diamond in the chest. Lord coughs blood.

"Wait..." coughed Lord. "You can see... Wait... you can touch my Stand! How can you touch my-?"

*BOOM BANG*

The man blasts his fists into Lord's face as a massive shockwave occurs.

The man throws his fists at them.

"Come on! Come on!" yelled the woman as she shook her wand over and over again. The wand shined as her eyes glowed.

"Aha!" she laughed. "NARWHAL BLAST!!!"

*PEW*

Lord's eyes widen as Crazy Diamond's Wrecking Ball uses its satellite to block the blast away and slap it away.

Lord punches the man away as Lord charges toward the woman.

*PEW*

She blasts an energy spell on Lord. "LEVITATO!!!"

Lord floats as he is thrown around into the ground like a ragdoll.

"WHOA!!!" he yelled, as he blasts a punch on the ground to keep himself from levitating.

"LEVITATO!!!" she yelled once more, as she lifts the man.

Lord stops this by allowing gravity to move around his body as he charges once more.

"Glitter Dragon Escalation!" yelled the woman, blasting a spell on a nearby rock as it transforms into a large dragon who Lord has to deal with.

*bzzt*

Lord blasts heat vision toward the creature over and over. He then wooshes toward the creature from every direction, punching it each time he reaches the creature and curves himself back to the creature when he passes by it.

The creature then morphs back into a rock and shatters into pieces.

"Oh, dear goodness," said the woman. "How about a little sunshine to brighten your day?" she asked softly. She whispers Latin phrases into the wand.

Zed's eyes widened. "Gaga... She'll kill them both!"

*snap*

"Fugit velut innatant," whispered Zed.

The woman immediately fell to the ground and fell asleep, floating in the air.

Lord blasted his wrecking ball toward Steven as the blast created an earthquake felt around the whole world.

It made Josuke trip while walking on the sidewalk.

It made Ghost Jedan hiccup even though he is a ghost.

It made Patrick shit his pants while on the toilet.

It made Miguel spill his tea. "Shit! Ugh! Damn it, Lord! This is a new polo!"

"DORARARARARARARA!!! DORA!!!" yelled Crazy Diamond, blasting his fists toward the man.

Lord then grabs his Wrecking Ball and prepares to throw it in the man's face.

"WHOA!!!"

The man grabs his shield and blocks it as it creates a shockwave that shook the whole world once more.

*DING*

The man stood in a large crater on the beach... It was about a kilometer wide in radius and 500 meters deep (It was a really big beach).

"What... the-..." said Lei.

Zed protected everyone else by creating a psychic forcefield. He also teleported the woman into the forcefield.

"Good thing we're on an isolated island," said Ryle, sighing in relief.

"Thanks," said Lei.

"Star Butterfly," whispered Zed.

"Huh?" asked Van.

"Star Butterfly," said Zed. "That's her name."

"You read her mind!?" asked Van.

"87-54-90," whispered Zed.

"What are those?" asked Van. "Coordinates?"

"Her measurements," said Zed.

Lei and Celine slap the back of his head.

"Ow!" yelled Zed.

"And the man?" asked Lei.

"Steven Universe," said Zed. "He has a pretty big dong."

*SLAP*

"OW!!!"

"Anyway..." said Lei, as she stepped out of the forcefield. "Lord! Arrest the man!"

Steven is knocked unconscious on the ground.

"Steven Universe... You're under arrest," said Lord.

"I think he's asleep, sire," said Motorhead. "You could just take him from here."

"Aight," said Lord, as he grabbed him and flew away.

"NO, WAIT!!! YOU'RE-!!!" yelled Lei, but Lord already wooshed away. "... our ride home."