162. Broken Shards

"Dark Matter extract?"

"And the Pink and White Diamonds," sneered Bill Cipher. "Just take them and I'll strike a deal with you.The best deal!"

Bill Cipher orbits around his head.

"The best deal in the whole wide world! Just do it, Lord! I promise that you'll be happy!"

Lord wakes up.

*GASP*

Lord gasps as he trembled in pain. He stared at Miguel, who was deep asleep. He is bloody and battered. His body is swollen and he is heavily injured as the fractures in the front part of his body make him feel painfully numb.

Lord slowly stands up.

"It's all good..." he whispered, standing right back up. "It's all..." He drops to one knee and struggles to keep standing. "...good... It's... all... good... *cough cough...* *splat...*Crazy... Diamond..."

Lord slowly restores his own body as he slowly heals.

"*GASP!!!*" Lord is fully restored as he blasts himself into the air with two fists forward. His cape wildly flows in the wind. His eyes burst red with fury.

"Lord!" yelled Steven, who is strapped in a chair above a rune. "What the heck do you think you're doing!?"

Lord, with red eyes, drags Steven into the chamber with White Diamond's Poofed Gem.

"Wait... White's not shattered!?" asked Steven.

"I found her Gem back on the planet where we fought Spazura... She still hadn't emerged after all this time..." said Lord, as he places her in the rune.

"Dark Matter Extract..." said Lord, as he pours the stuff from Rick's flask on the rune. "Spiral Staircase-..."

Steven struggles to escape. "LORD!? I AM NOT COMFORTABLE WITH THIS!!!"

*CLANG*

Steven's eyes brighten white as an arm slowly emerges from the rune. The arm grabs the ground as it pulls itself out.

Steven sighs as he drops to the ground, knocked out.

Bill slowly emerged from the rune and into the real world.

Lord backs away.

"Hey!" smiled Bill. "Wanna munch on some yummy nightmares?"

Bill touches Lord's head as Lord sees a penis with a caterpillar chewing itself out of the urethra.

The penis then takes its place as Lord's own.

"OH MY GOD!!!" Lord yelled in horror.

"NGAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I'M JOKING!!!" Bill snaps his finger as Lord's penis goes back to normal.

Lord drops to the ground, trembling.

"How's that for a comical entrance!?" smiled Bill.

"The deal..." he whispered. "Strike it... I... need... it..."

Bill's eye shapeshifts like a disgusting sneer with sharp needle-like teeth.

Meanwhile...

Zed and Star eat ice cream silently in the office room.

Van types something into his computer.

"What's Van's deal anyway?" asked Star.

"Van is a Grimm who used to hunt and kill Cryptids," said Zed. "He was our friend back in high school, but he left to hunt Cryptids... He returned wanting new meaning in his life."

"Huh..." said Star. "So... you all want to have new meanings, huh? Is that why you're all a family?"

"I mean... I guess..." Zed shrugged.

"You guys are a bunch of misfits, huh?" asked Star.

"Yep," said Zed. "We were outcasts back in school. We're just thankful for Miguel for helping us way back then against the jocks and bullies when we were teenagers. We were a family."

"Why don't you guys hang out that much anymore?" asked Star.

"Miguel left us to avenge his Mom. Understandable, but we all started fighting each other. Lei stepped in as our new leader," said Zed. "The JoJos are cursed with their very own past. The ripples of Salvi and Damaso's actions changed our lives forever, intertwining ourselves into one family. We've gained some people... we've lost some people.We're just a group of broken people who need some people to love like family... Born as nobodies... die as somebodies...Isn't that pathetic? Hahaha..."

"I don't think you're pathetic," smiled Star.

"Huh..." Zed turned red and turned away. "Yeah..." he bowed his head. "I guess you don't."

Meanwhile...

"I guess you do, Lordie!" sneered Bill. "You do need to strike the deal!Now, here's the deal!Have you heard of the Ark of the Covenant?"

"Yeah... the thing Miguel is trying to hide, right?" asked Lord.

"Here's the thing... There's a rule to every Ark. It's the same one for every Ark. That rule is equivalent exchange. The Standoids, as Rick Sanchez calls them, actually have the ability to literally give anyone anything in exchange for something important of the person. The virus then transports the goods to Heavenly Cosmic beings in, well... Heaven! They judge you following your willpower, then give you what your heart desires. They seek power, Lordie. So... give me the Ark, and I'll show you how to resurrect life." 

Lord's eyes widen. "Arks can resurrect life!?"

"Pretty much," said Bill, filing his nails. "Now... deal?"

Bill offers a handshake.

Lord menacingly stares at Bill.

"Do you promise that you won't hurt anybody?" asked Lord.

Bill nods.

Lord closes his eyes and shakes Bill's hand.

*BAM*

"NGAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" cackled Bill. "FUCKING STUPID MORTAL!!! NGAHAHAHA-!!! I mean! Not you! Jerry!"

"Who?" asked Lord.

"Uh... Go on, Lordie! Chop chop! Go kill 'em as if your life depends on it!" Bill cackled. "Ngahahahahaha!!! Ngyahahahahahaha!!!"

"You sure do like laughing a lot..." said Lord.

"Because this whole thing is funny!" laughed Bill. "Do you wanna know the exact time and date of your death?"

"Do I!?" asked Lord.

"Do you?" asked Bill.

"Do I?" asked Lord.