287. Bizarrmaggedon ~Torete~

"Whenever you fight against fate, fate has ways of fighting back through calamities. There is a battle from long ago between good and evil and right and wrong. Truth be told that those who have sworn themselves to this concept have an unfair advantage over those who believe in free choice. Never has one with free choice truly succeeded, as those who tried to escape one's own or other's fate is killed. True fate, however, is a concept where the righteous and just come back to haunt those who end up abusing their power of fate."

"I tried changing Dad's fate," Gabrielle's eyes quivered. "That ended up killing him."

"No. Look," Nick continued. "I'm not saying that any of this is your fault. Believe me. I don't think that at all."

"But a lesson we've learned," said Monroe. "Is that fighting fate isn't the smartest thing to do. I mean, this concept is something we can never comprehend. For all we know, fate itself could be the Abrahamic God in accordance with our sources."

"It punishes those who think has control over it and gifts blessings to those who are righteous like God in the Old Testament," said Nick.

"So... what? We're fated to be killed because of some stupid thing I did when I was a kid?" asked Gabrielle.

"No. No. We're not saying that," said Monroe.

"We're just saying that whatever comes? We just have to be ready," said Nick. "We've lost friends... family... And... we're working to save our world that was enslaved by these people who think that they have full control over fate," said Nick.

"Who are?" asked Gabrielle.

"The Dark Gems."

"Why? What are these aliens trying to do in the first place?"

"The second Weirdmaggedon..."

"The what?" asked Mercuria.

"On Earth GF-137 there was this event that nearly brought an apocalypse to the Omniverse," said Monroe. "It was this massive event where a demon wreaked havoc to a town called Gravity Falls and planned world and later Omniversal Domination. Two kids apparently stopped him according to a prophecy."

"And now we're trying to find them through a friend named Rick Sanchez," said Nick.

"Uncle Rick?" asked Gabrielle.

"Oh. Good. You know that jackass," said Monroe.

"Monroe!" scolded Nick.

"He insulted me to my face. Let a guy hate a guy, would ya?"

"This prophecy... What's it called?" asked Narcos.

"If Made in Heaven is averted, which is the first step, the JoJo Family is destined to bring balance to the Omniverse through the second step."

"Which is!?" asked the trio.

"Bizarrmaggedon," said Nick and Monroe.

"So, what's going to happen in this Bizarrmaggedon?" asked Mercuria.

"The extinction of all life as we know it. Except, of course, Rock Organisms, Vampires, and Pillar-Men," said Nick.

"These guys... They aren't just a joke. These guys... They killed our friends. Least our families are safe... for now..." said Monroe.

"We've been searching Universes, jumping from our dimension to others over and over for ten years trying to look for your father," said Nick. "Just too bad he's gone because he had all the information about the prophecy."

"What is it?" asked Gabrielle. "What's the prophecy?"

"That's why we're here in the first place," said Monroe.

"Shit," sighed Mercuria. "So... What are these Rock Humans planning? Destroying Maharlica."

"Not exactly," said Monroe. "They're just planning to invade it. After which they'll destroy it... Then they'll collect these objects called Arks of the Covenant and use harvested Locacaca to manipulate the Arks' properties... giving their leader, Black Diamond, heaven."

"It's your destiny, Gabrielle, to hunt these bad people down and put a stop to them. You're one of the last JoJos, a family of one of the most powerful Grimms," said Nick. 

"And Zeppeli!" smiled Narcos. "Isn't that a bonus or whatever?"

The five are revealed to be eating dinner. The rest are eating Ibong Adarna while Monroe eats some vegetables from the van, like Baguio Beans, Squash, String Beans, and Broccoli.

"Mm..." said Monroe. "This stuff is pretty damned good."

"Well... let's sleep in for tonight," said Nick. "You guys have beds in there?"

"We have really large seats that you could lie down in," said Narcos.

"I'll take it."

"Is that a button?"

"Don't..." said Nick, grabbing Narcos' hand.

Narcos woges into a Rock Human in Nick's eyes.

"Huh... So you're one of the good ones," said Nick.

"That's what I've been told."

Nick lets go. Narcos pulls his hand back in fear.

"Well?" smiled Narcos, as he lets Nick in.

Later... The night went silent as they each slept on the bus. Nick slept at the far back with Monroe on the seat before him. Gabrielle slept in the center together with Narcos. Mercuria stayed on the far front in the driver's seat.

*neigh...*

Narcos wakes up. "Yo... Gabrielle."

"What?" she asked, annoyedly.

"There's a horse outside!"

"So?"

"Don't you think it's a Cryptid?"

"It's a Cryptid if I say it's a Cryptid. Now get off of me. You're crushing my lungs!"

Narcos is on top of Gabrielle as he tries to look out the window.

"Shit!" yelled Gabrielle. "Get the hell off of me, you wackadoodle!"

"Uh..." Narcos shivered. "There's a Horse-headed dude outside."

"Wait..." Gabrielle stands up. "What? Huh? What do you mean?"

"I mean, Bojack Horseman called, he wants himself back," said Narcos in a singsongy way.

Gabrielle pushes Narcos off of her as Narcos dropped to the floor.

Gabrielle looks out the window.

"Christ!" she yelled. "It's a Tikbalang!"

Gabrielle brings out Stone Free while Narcos takes out Coldplay.

The pair wake Mercuria up.

"Mm... Trisha... Yeah... just like that..."  she whispered. Narcos then shakes her. "*GASP!!!* What!?" she whisper-screamed.

"Tikbalang's stalking us," said Narcos.

"What? Those are real, too?" asked Mercuria.

The trio walks outside and keeps the bus's door shut.

"Hey," said Gabrielle. "Excuse me, but we don't have time for stalkers right now. Scram."

"That's mean, Gabrielle. Lemme try," said Narcos. "Could you please leave?"

The Tikbalang takes out a kris sword.

The trio all prepare their Stands.

Gabrielle's eyes widen as the Tikbalang swings his kris toward her neck.

Stone Free blocks it, but for some reason, the Stand's hands slip, and Gabrielle is decapitated.

"GABRIELLE!!!" cried the pair.

Luckily, Gabrielle's string saved her head as she reattached her head on her neck with her two hands.

The Tikbalang take a swing at Narcos, but he woges into stone and tosses icicles at the Tikbalang. None of the icicles touch the Tikbalang and all of them miss completely.

Kiss duplicates its own arms and blasts punches at the creature over and over, but she misses the Tikbalang completely.

The Tikbalang uses the kris to try and chop off their heads at once, but the trio tumbled backward in fear.

It neighs creepily as it shows its black sharp teeth, drooling with black goop.

Narcos kept on tossing icicles at him, but the Tikbalang merely approaches him as the icicles somehow curved from the Tikbalang.

Narcos woges back to normal out of fear.

The Tikbalang then headbutts Narcos as he drops to the ground, knocked out.

Gabrielle then uses Stone Free to kick the Tikbalang over and over again.

"ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA!!!"

None of her punches reaches the Tikbalang's body at all.

He then kicks her in the chest to the ground as he prepares to hammer her with the kris sword's blade, raising it and preparing it to slam it on the top of her head.

Mercuria duplicates a tree nearby as the second tree that grew from the tree's trunk knocked the Tikbalang to the ground.

Gabrielle gets up and tries to kill the Tikbalang with Stone Free's fists.

"ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA-!!!"

*SPLAT!!!*

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!" Gabrielle cried violently as the Tikbalang stabbed her in the chest with its claws.

The Tikbalang begins to tear out her heart as Narcos pulls him away.

She regenerates.

Narcos freezes the Tikbalang who punches him away as parts of his face break into pieces of rock.

"NO!!!" cried Gabrielle.

Mercuria woges into a Blutbad, she growls, and she bites into the Tikbalang's neck, but she somehow misses as her jaw phases through its neck. No... she isn't really biting its neck.

She duplicates the Tikbalang's head and fuses it back together, hopefully, to knock the Tikbalang out.

This only annoys him as he tosses Mercuria away.

He then uses his hooves on his foot to kick Mercuria over and over again, breaking her bones.

Meanwhile, Gabrielle regenerates Narcos' face with her string, weaving his face back together surgically.

Narcos gasps, surviving the attack.

Gabrielle puts her forehead on his, closing her eyes, saying, "Thank God."

Gabrielle stands up, Gabrielle woges into an Aswang, and she bites into the Tikbalang's neck. It, once again, she's biting air.

The Tikbalang tosses her as she rolls to Mercuria.

Gabrielle gasps as she heals Mercuria's ribs with her tentacles.

Narcos uses his strength as a woged Rock Human and bashes the Tikbalang's skull and freezes its brain, but he misses somehow.

"Wait..." said Narcos. "Every time someone attacks you, you turn to them and look at their eyes... Kinda like how chameleons focus both eyes on one prey. That means if you have no idea that you're about to get attacked-..."

*SHING!!!*

*SPLAT!!!*

The Tikbalang's head is decapitated as its head and body drop to the ground.

Nick had decapitated it from behind.

"-...We may have a chance," Nick continued and confirmed Narcos' intuition.

"Thanks," Narcos sighed in relief.

"What kind of Wesen is this?" asked Narcos.

"What?" asked Narcos.

"It's our word for Cryptid," said Nick.

"Tikbalang," said Gabrielle, as she stood up. Beside her is Mercuria, fully healed yet passed on. 

"Horse-men that eat meat," said Gabrielle. 

"Not the weirdest thing I've seen," said Nick.

Nick checks his body and sees the dark quartz symbol on his chest.

"Well... This is only the beginning," sighed Nick.