322. Steel Ball Run II

"Welcome everybody... to the second Steel Ball Run!" yelled a voice. "Sponsored by HeTap!"

The audience cheers for the JoJoRun. 

"I LOVE YOU, MR. PRESIDENT!!!" yelled a young woman in the crowd.

"There will be three teams appearing in the race with a total of 21 racers," said the angry man. "This is J. Jonah Jameson!"

"And this is Lois Lane!" smiled Lois.

"And welcome to-!"

"THE SECOND STEEL BALL RUN!!!"

"First up we have the first team known as the Super Fighters," said J. Jonah. "Which is honestly a stupid name thinking about it! Isn't that right, Ms. Lane!?"

"I don't think it is."

"Exactly my point! Because it's just a few syllables away from Spider-Man!"

"I do not understand that logic, J. Jonah."

"These fighters are tremendous for being members of the powerful Z Fighters who fought in multiple tournaments in Earth-DBZA-7!!! Among these fighters are... Piccolo, Krillin, Tien Shinhan, Android 18, Android 17, Speed O' Sound Sonic, and Hol Horse," said J. Jonah. "Piccolo Jr.! The Last Son of Namek! Krillin! The Greatest Hero of Earth DBZA-7! Tien Shinhan! Sacred Triclops of the Unknown! Android 18! Hot Cyborg Girl! Android 17! Hot Cyborg Girl's Twin Brother! Speed O. Sound Sonic! Weird Speed Force-imbued Ninja! And finally... Hol Horse! Whoever he is!"

"That's honestly insulting," sighed Piccolo. "My people are still alive, thank you very much."

"Should we have invited Yamcha?" asked Tien.

"Yeah! Should we?" asked Krillin.

"Probably," said 18.

"Nah..." said 17.

"Who's Yamcha again?" asked Sonic. "Is it that rich loser who kept dying in your stories?"

"Do people seriously not know who I am!? I valiantly fought against the Stardust Crusaders of Earth-Star!" cried Hol Horse.

"Don't be a Yamcha," sighed Sonic.

"And the next team!" smiled Lois. "The next team are people you may know from the 616 Galaxy's own Guardians of the Galaxy! Peter Quill, Venom, Trubel, Green Arrow II, Robin V, Groot, and Rocket Raccoon!"

"Peter Quill! Star-Lord, Son of the Stars! Venom the Lethal Protector, Identity Unknown, and the Hero who battles against Spider-Man! Theresa Rubel, or Trubel, one of the Grimms of Portland Earth-Wesen! Green Arrow II, Identity Unknown, and Hero of Star City! Robin V, Identity Unknown! And finally, a tree creature called Groot and a Raccoon called Rocket!"

"Pose," said Quill, posing like Kevin Bacon from Footloose. "Everyone pose. I need to look like Kevin Bacon in these shots."

"Quill, you look like a friggin' idiot," said Rocket. Rocket turns toward 17. "You're a Cyborg, right?"

"Yeah?" asked 17.

Rocket snickers.

"We will enjoy this race!" cackled Venom.

"Could you please stop drinking that bottle of vinegar!?" Eddie asked inside Venom's body.

"Shut up... EDDIE!!!" cried Venom, drinking vinegar.

"I am Groot," smiled Groot.

"We are Venom!" cried Venom.

"I am Groot!" yelled Groot.

"We... are... Venom!" cried Venom.

"Are you speaking 'Groot?'" asked Quill.

"Yes!" yelled Venom. "Very hard language to understand!"

"These people are idiots," said Mia, daughter of Oliver.

"Whatever," said Trubel, drinking some beer.

Damian squints his eyes, staring at each of them.

"I still don't understand why I'm allowed in here," said Sonic. "I'm a Speed Force User. I should be prohibited."

"They said you were too slow," said Hol Horse, lighting a cigarette.

"I'm sorry?" asked Sonic.

"Yep," said Tien. "We're all faster than you, Sonic."

"Psh..." said Sonic. "Wanna race?"

"We are in a race," said Tien.

"And finally! Here come the chaotic controversial counterparts of the Crusaders! The Filipino Menaces!" yelled J. Jonah. "The America-Haters! The Destroyer of the United States! The Stardust Rangers!"

The crowd boos them as the Stardust Rangers appear.

"Why do they hate us!?" asked Sam.

"No... They just hate us... The only reason we got in is that you're here," said Kariel.

"Good thing Captain America was here to pardon them for their crimes!" yelled J. Jonah.

"You told them I pardoned all of you!?" asked Sam.

"You kinda already did when you joined us here," said Yurielle.

"Now... an interview with the checkpoint team leaders! Starting with Mr. Krabs for the Super Fighters!" J. Jonah gives the microphone to Eugene. "Well? What inspired you to join this magnificent American race!"

Eugene speaks to the mic. "I like money. Agagagagagag!"

"Next we have the Guardians' checkpoint team leader... Mr. Mayor! Why is it that you chose to be a Checkpoint Team Leader?"

Lois hands the mic to him.

"Charity?" asked Mr. Mayor. "That's still a thing, right?"

"Yes. Yes, it is."

"And finally!" yelled J. Jonah. "The ruthless daughter of the murderer of the Greatest President of the Entire Multiverse! Doughnut Trumpet! The Menace! The Female Fatale! The Stone Sucker! Gabrielle JoJo!Oh... and the Magnificent Bruce Wayne.Tell me, Ms. JoJo. Why is it that you've chosen to fund these racers and what is your diabolical plan to take down America once more!?"

"Takedown America? No! We're just here to save Maharlica again!"

"There you have it, folks! She's against the Star-Spangled Banner once more in favor of our colonizers!"

"You have your own government and you have the right to vote for the President. What are you talking about?" asked Gabrielle.

"Uh... Gabrielle?" asked Bruce.

"Are you saying that I, an American, am below you, a Filipino?" asked J. Jonah.

"Yes!"

J. Jonah immediately pulls the mic away.

"No... Wait! What!? No!"

Bruce covers her mouth.

"There you have it, folks!" yelled J. Jonah. "Gabrielle JoJo is a racist!"

Bruce Wayne takes the microphone. "She is not a racist neither is Maharlica America's colonizer. Forgive us for our incompetence. There will be no further questions."

Everyone boos Gabrielle as the Americans throw trash at Gabrielle. Bruce shields her with his suit.

"Stop that!" yelled Bruce. "Hey!"

"THE SUN WILL NEVER SET IN THE PHILIPPINE EMPIRE!!!" yelled one man.

"NEW BRIT!!!" yelled one woman. "IMPERIALIST!!!" 

"YOUR FATHER WAS A SICK MENACE!!!" yelled one woman.

"HEY!!! MY DADDY WAS A HERO THAT SAVED YOUR ASSES!!!" yelled Gabrielle.

"Gabrielle," said Bruce. "You can't say that out loud. Doughnut Trumpet is a symbol of hope to them. It's best for them to not know what your father really did."

"It's not fair!" yelled Gabrielle. "Dad tried to help these people and he's getting shit on!"

"It isn't... I know... I understand how it feels... But you have to accept that this was your father's decision, not yours," said Bruce.

A rock is tossed toward Gabrielle's head and Peter, dressed as Spider-Man, webs the rock and takes it. 

"Hey!" yelled Peter. "WHO THREW THIS!? HEY!!! NOT COOL!!! OKAY!?"

Several rocks are thrown toward Gabrielle, but all their speeds slow down in duration, and Gabrielle covers herself.

It begins raining and the crowd backs away into the roofed area of the stadium.

Narcos appears from backstage and creates a bubble dome of ice around Gabrielle.

"Now, now..." said a voice to the audience. "These people are our guests... Not our enemies." Valentine slowly walked out of the shadows and toward the audience. "These people... are good people who we can trust because they fought for the worlds' lives. Don't forget that these good people fought for you and that they deserve your utmost respect. Respect these people and you will have that respect back in your hands... your hearts."

Yurielle squints her eyes. "His words are an absolute truth,"

"How could you tell?" asked Jack.

"His heartbeat... No discrepencies," said Yurielle. "He truly believes that we are the good guys."

"What does that make him?" asked Kariel, squinting his eyes.

"The JoJoRun will begin tomorrow! God bless America!"

Everyone else cheers for the mysterious President...

That night...

Yurielle and Jack are talking to each other in a bar.

"Yeah... so that's the basics..." said Jack.

"So... the left one is yours... an' the right one is Jill's..." said Yurielle.

"Yeah... The chests on our belts hold the weapons and equipment we prefer."

They stay silent and thought.

"What's up with the President?" asked Jack. "Jill's been askin' me about why the President is actin' so sus, man..."

"I honestly don't know, Jack..." said Yurielle. "Dad said that the President shouldn't be trusted... but... he believes in his words."

"Huh... Why'd your parents adopt you? Because of your Stand?"

"Pretty much... an' the fact that I'm a Grimm," said Yurielle. "They felt pity for me because of the way a man named Von Stroheim experimen'ed on me way back then... I had no parents... no birth certificate... no name... no one knows who I was. I was the Girl with No Name. An' Daddy told me... about these DISCs... an' how I was linked to these Soul-Stealin' Weapons... Because Stroheim was workin' with Tooru once and tried to take my DISC. My body refused to lose its soul... its Stand... its memory... so, Tooru did not gain my Stand. Daddy kidnapped me and raised me with my other Daddy... The Dark Quartz Organization taught me how to listen closely and feel inten'ly... Objects like a cotton ball feel like sandpaper to my skin. A faint sound of an ant's squeak? I could hear it. I am practically more dangerous than an Eglin AFB Site C-6. I could hear that bear gettin' skinned in the canyon outside the city. I could hear that poor girl bein' beaten at the alleyway downtown. I could hear everythin'... That's why they blinded me... To turn me into this... A weapon. I am Yurielle JoJo and I am a livin' gun. But what if... that gun had feelin'... an' didn't wanna be a gun?"

"Oof," said Jack.

"Damn straight, Jack..." said Yurielle. "Damn straight..."

"We just wanna know why our Mommas and Poppas were killed," said Jack.

"We will have answers, Jack," said Yurielle. "We will... Because if we won't... There will be bodies behind us...There will..."