484. Wax Fair Part III ~The Day Where There Was a S...
Belos plays with a knife. "So... I resurrected you with your bone and freed your men... How can you serve me now, creature...?"
"Hundreds of Billions of people in Maharlica and they have no idea when they are fated to die. They are constantly placed in the clutches of fear and hatred because of it... Because they can't accept it. And the Joestars have the tools to change all that, and they're doing absolutely nothing with it."
"You believe in fate...?"
"Why, yes. I want all to achieve Heaven."
"I can give you that world... But if you agree to serve me," said Belos.
"I want that for all worlds."
"Exactly. But, do realize, I just want you to capture Miguel Ibarra. He knows the spell that can be used to eat its way through every dimension until there's nothing left. But I learned that it can be controlled. He can control such power, and I NEED IT!!!"
"To destroy an entire section of Hell?" asked DIO.
"It's not an afterlife, so it's fine!" smiled Belos. "I swear! But...! I would need your assistance."
"You may be cunning, but you are lacking sanity."
"So are you."
"Yes. But at least I can still think straight. Take it from a fellow conqueror... The moment you act according to your ego..." DIO turns to the mirror. "You will horribly fail. That's why I'll never fully trust that piece of shit-triangle..."
"Very well. Dio Brando. Welcome to the Black Claw."
"Why... are you working with the Black Claw...?" asked DIO. "You're a Human."
"Because our current leader has big plans for all of us. He lets me do whatever the hell I want, as long as I will serve him."
"You're not the leader...?" asked DIO. "Who is...?Salvi...?"
"Not anymore... Our... new leader... has newer plans for all of us...Ever since that idiot Messiah was anointed by holy oil, he now rules all life on New Israel and Earth-777. Especially the Jewish people. Did you know he appointed the Jews as his main soldiers along with the Filipinos...?"
"Why...? You have a problem with his people being Jews and Pinoy...?"
"No... It's just that they all practice Magic... Isn't it that such an act is heresy for someone so holy...? Is that not the work of demons...?"
"I believe you're confused... I like that..." sneered DIO. "What I don't like is that it may not be confusion in that little head of yours... It's just an excuse to hate people that are... different from you... Hate people of societies you can't adapt in. It's honestly pathetic... But we have a use for each other... All I want is the death of the Joestars and to achieve Heaven, and I'll help you get that memory."
"Deal," Belos grabs DIO's hand.
"Deal..." sneered DIO. "Since Ibarra's mind is now locked... where can I find it...?"
"Have you ever heard of a book known as William's Journal...?" sneered Belos. Belos, strangely enough, is holding a spoon.
Sasha carries some food from the fair and brings it back to the mansion.
Suddenly, she bumps into Anne as all the food fall on the ground.
However, Sprig catches all the food.
"Thanks, Sprig!" smiled Anne.
Anne looks down and is slightly surprised, seeing that she's on top of Sasha, who is blushing.
"Waddup, dude...?" smiled Anne.
"Nothing!" Sasha pushes her away. "I'll go... finish up. Heheh..." Sasha is given the food. "Just bringing these home for us to eat until next week."
"Alright! Good luck!" smiled Anne.
"Thanks! Good luck... Too!"
"KSSH!!! KSSH!!!" Sprig plays with the UV Light.
"Sprig. Don't play with those," said Anne. "Those are owned by the governm-... AAH!!!"
Sprig lights up her eyes.
"YOU LITTLE-!!!" Anne giggles and shines Sprig's eyes as well, and they chase each other, laughing.
Sasha walks back into the mansion, sighing in relief while she places the food down on the ground. "Finally...WHOA!!!"
Kenneth sat on the couch, filing his nails.
"You're the guy who crashed the party!" yelled Sasha. "What the heck do you want...!?"
Kenneth slowly stands up. "(I want to be honest with you... I really don't like working with Bill and Belos!)"
Sasha raises an eyebrow. "What...?"
"(Shush!)" Kenneth looks left and right. "(I need your help...)"
Sasha is weirded out. "You tried to kill us..."
"Yeah! But listen! No one in your team knows who I am except your Captain. Your Captain thinks that I'm a variant of his twin that killed him and everyone he loved! He's wrong! I'm actually a variant of his twin that is on your side! It was Bill who killed everyone I ever cared about!"
"Okay... Why'd you attack us...?"
"To manipulate Bill and look good! Duh!"
"Can't he see everything...?"
"Not if he's in the Mirror."
"'The Mirror...?'"
"Shush! I just need your help, Waybright!"
"What do you want...?"
"The book."
"What book...?"
"It's a book that was written by someone named William Wittebane..."
"'William...?' You mean the book that Dipper has!?"
"YES!!! THAT ONE!!! I need it... It was written by an unknown author, and whoever has it will be destined to be corrupted and rule the world."
"Is that all true...?"
"Yes! So, you have to take that book secretly..."
"Haha! Too bad that I don't trust you, dude..." Sasha sighs and walks away. "Besides... You're obviously manipulating me..."
"Am I, now... Do you know who William Wittebane is...?"
"Pfft... Like I care..."
"He was born in 1837... in Gravity Falls."
Sasha's eyes widen as she turns around. "You know about the author...?"
"Yeah... and I can tell you more! If you give that book to me..."
"What's the catch...?"
"Just don't get caught..."
"I won't take that chance and betray my friends again..." she walks away.
"What if I told you that the book can help you win hearts...?" asked Kenneth.
Sasha stops walking and turns around. "What...!?"
"I heard you recently broke up with a girlfriend, right...? Maybe, I can give you anything you want... Even love... if you give me the book... I'll let you have a taste of love."
Sasha frowns at Kenneth.
"Well... Waybright...? Last chance.."
Sasha looks very angry.
"Are you mad because you're conflicted...?"
Sasha looks up to Kenneth, staring furiously.
"Or... are you mad because you've already decided...?" he sneered.
Meanwhile...
Mabel bumps her head on the table, over and over.
"Mom...?" asked Chris, her son. "Are you okay...?"
"Oh, Mabel Rainbowblitz Gleeful Jr.! Chris Bezazzle Gleeful! I'm just depressed that Grenda and Candy are having fun without me!" sighed Mabel.
Candy and Grenda are shown to be arm wrestling on the table while chugging bottles of root beer.
"Why the heck did you just refer to us with our full -... Ugh... Never mind..." Mabel Jr. flips his hair.
"It's okay, Mommy!" smiled Chris. "At least you have us, right, Dad...?"
"Yes, Mabel honey," said Gideon. Oddly enough, Gideon is still the height of a twelve-year-old. "We're all good as long as you have lil' ol' us!GOD!!! JEOFFREY!!!" yelled Gideon. "I BROKE A NAIL!!! FILE IT!!!"
"Yes, Master Gideon," said Jeoffrey, who goes on to file Gideon's nail.
"Why do they hate me so much...?" asked Mabel.
"Well, honey. I read in the Diaries that many Wesen aren't usually interested with the likes of Grimms outting 'em out like that."
"Ugh! I wish I haven't outted them! Then things wouldn't be so awkward!" Mabel facepalmed.
"Well, you could try talking...?" asked Gideon. "Like we used to do...? Before we dated...? So, that I could even get to date you...? Remember...? Eh...?"
"I don't know..."
"I promised that I'll take care of the kids for the rest of the day."
"Wait, really...? You and Jeoffrey...?"
"Yep! Go! You need that friend energy, Mabel! Mabel is a concept, and it can't exist without any friends!"
"Alright... I'll do this. Thanks, Gideon."
"Anything for you, pumpkin!"
Mabel stands up and walks to the other women.
"Alright! Time to take care of the kids!" Gideon looks around, and the twins have disappeared. "Oh, cheese and crackers..."
"Hey, guys!" smiled Mabel, approaching Grenda and Candy.
"AH!!! INVISIBLE POWERS, ACTIVATE!!!" Candy hides her head in her sweater, Grenda breaks a barrel open and hides in there.
"Guys! Come on! We gotta talk!" yelled Mabel.
"NO TALKING!!! ONLY FEAR AND ESCAPISM!!!" yelled Grenda.
"You can't see me! So you can't touch me!" yelled Candy.
Mabel pulls down her sweater.
"AH!!! My invisibility cloak had been compromised!" yelled Candy.
"Guys! Can we just... talk...?" asked Mabel.
"Ngggh!" hesitated Candy and Grenda.
"GUYS!!! COME... ON!!!"
Meanwhile, Miguel opens a portal and reaches the fair. He panics, but he sees Gabby carried in Anne's arms.
Miguel sighs. "Oh, thank God... Daughter's safe... Okay... Y'know that pressure where you feel when you're forced to vote for someone you don't wanna vote for and wanna just vote for the cute little robot guy instead...?"
Anne stares at Miguel and darts her eyes to the left. "No...?"
"Well, that's the pressure I felt realizing that my daughter was captured by a Dumpster Barnacle. In the power of a hundred. Or like in Turning Red. B.T.W. people who think Turning Red was unrelatable were clearly never pressured by their parents... and are probably either spoiled or people-pleasers... or they're Momma's Boys or Daddy's Girls or vice versa... Or they clearly hate Asian people... Or they're just not Asian. Like me! Or like in Encanto. B.T.W. people who draw cursed Encanto Ships deserve to go to hell... Like Dreamsexuals!B.T.W. people who hate Turning Red have also never been a teenager, never stood up to their parents and are currently loser dumpster barnacles, and had never learned to ever stand up for themselves once their entire life. It seems that people who would NEVER disobey their parents seem to be nothing more than pathetic children who never had sex in their lives... Because they are Mings... Not Meis... They've been 'Good Little Girls and Good Little Boys' their entire lives and had never dared to stand up... They are never asking the question, 'What if the one I'm obeying is... possessive and abusive...?' Hahaha! It's like their parents are absolutely perfect! No one's perfect, scumwads! When you open up an old chest that revealed how pathetic they are... You will have that day... That day when you realize everything that your parents stood for will heartbreakingly all wither away as you realize who they REALLY are! Look at you! Brainwashed as any person who thinks at least one Politician is a good person! That God is a good person!"
Getting a bit too personal, there, bud.
"But you'll all cry when you see that your parent was never perfect. When you realize that they're scum. That moment will break you, and I, God, will enjoy it and laugh at you. 'Look at it! This is God!' That's what I'll say while I make you stare at it while you cry and I forcefully grab your shoulders, pretending to calm you down, but in reality, I'll be inserting dominance. I'll judge all of you for your actions on Earth... And for the people who think it's cringe, it's probably because you try too hard to be cool, but in reality, you'd just grow up to be delinquent junkies smothered with shit all over their clothes you find in dumpsters... AKA... Dumpster Barnacles..."
"I have no idea what he's talking about..." said Hopediah.
"Also... To those Christians out there who hate on Ms. Marvel, I'll bring an atheist each to Heaven for each racist sin you've done and I'll bring you to Hell for your racism. Yeah! Haha! I can do that! Yeah! Corruption, baby! Shussshhhhh... It's okay... This...? This is God! This is power! I love it! I'll enjoy breaking all of you for eternity in the afterlife! I'll enjoy burning you for your RACIST selves! I'll enjoy killing people over and over when I ascend. Because instead of loving like an actual Christian, you remained bigoted and racist like a classic 40s white man. Or old-world Christians... Or Europeans... AH HAHAHA!!! Do you think America is the center of the fucking world...? I AM, BITCHES!!! AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! You'll all die... Slaves while the Good rule SUPREME!!! AH HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! AH HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!AH HAHAHA-!!! IF YOU BOMB PALESTINE AGAIN, I SWEAR TO ME!!! AH HAHAHAHAHA!!! AND IF ANYONE KEEPS CANCELING ON TWITTER AND TRYING TO RAPE DREAM, Î̴̧̧͓̺̭͂̐͝͠ ̴̨̲̳̜̼̄̍S̷̯͈̩̆̐̀̑͋W̴̺̼͎͌É̴̙̀̿̔̚A̷̭̙͌̔̕R̷͚͕̼̞̈̓ ̴̮̲̉̒T̵̢̖͍̗͌͋̒͘ͅO̶͚̿!̷̠̒!̷̢͖̳̯̈́̓͌͒̄!̷̹̦̤̩͖̄̇͂͝Whoa! Zoned out, there! What's happening...?"
Everyone stares at Miguel, terrified.
"I'll feel really sorry for the guy or girl who ends up falling for your daughter," said Anne.
The sun begins to set.
"I BETTER GET COMPENSATION FOR WHAT I WENT THROUGH!!!" yelled Miguel.
"Dude, who are you talking to...?" asked Anne.
"Obviously the Almighty Frog God, whose Prophet, Axolotl, spoke of his only son..." said Hopediah. "I believe now. Please do not genocide us, oh mighty Divine Prophet!"
"Hey, Mr. Ibarra? You're God, right...?" asked Soos, approaching Miguel.
"Sure."
"If we're 70% water and 30% human, and we drink 30% water, where does the other 30% of our human cells go?"
"In pee and sweat."
"WHAT!?!? HOW AM I NOT MELTING!?!?"
"Because you said it yourself. I'm God."
"Thank you so much, Mr. Ibarra. Here's a 20 for your hard work." Soos gives Miguel 20 units and walks away.
"And that's easy money," smiled Miguel. "20 dollars for the stress I received today. Not too shabby, God."
Yo welcome.
You should stop puppeteering Miguel.
I do what I want.
Did Jesus have any of these moments...?
Remember when he killed that bush...?
Oh... Oh my God...
Yeah... He was having a bad day after I embarrassed him in that teaching that day. Heheheheh...
"See, Anne...?" smiled Hopediah. "Blessed with flies are those who do good. As the good Frog book says!"
"Hopediah, you were an atheist for a while, now..." said Sprig.
"Yeah...! And ever since I met Miguel, over here... I'm pretty terrified of Frog God, now," Hopediah claps his hands twice, prays, and croaks repeatedly.
"Uh-huh..." said Anne.
"I don't believe in Frog God. I'm more of an agnostic myself," said Polly.
"Same," said Amity.
"Wha-!? Are none of you my friends!?" said Miguel. "What the hell!? You basically just said you don't believe in me!"
"I believe in you, Miguel!" smiled Luz.
"And that's a gold star!" smiled Miguel.
"You're scoring us!?" asked Amity.
"No doy," said Miguel.
"That's what Stan did to Luz the other day, so Luz wanted Miguel to score her from now on," said King.
"Now, she's crazy for golden stars!" yelled Sprig.
"You're just jealous that you have NOTHING!" smiled Luz, giggling.
"Huh...?" asked everyone, seeing that Mabel is arguing with her friends and causing a scene.
"JUST PLEASE TALK TO ME!!!" yelled Mabel.
"(Mabel...! You're causing a scene...!)" whispered Candy.
Everyone is staring at the group.
"I don't care! Why do neither of you want to talk to me! You're my best friends! All those sleepovers together!?" Belos' spoon from earlier crawls up on Mabel's shoulder. "All the times we talked about boys! All the times we sacrificed for each other! All the times we did make over for Dipper's face! Did none of that matter!?" she whimpered.
Candy and Grenda get teary-eyed.
"I just want us to be normal, again! I'm sorry for outting you guys like that! I swear... Please... I know... I've been a terrible friend... So, please... Friends...?"
"Mabel...!" yelled Grenda. "Don't... move."
"Guys...! Stop changing the sub-!!!"
"SHUSH!!!" shushed Candy.
Mabel feels something crawl up her neck. "Uh...!" she whimpered. She is shown to be frozen on the ground as her legs have stuck to it.
Everyone, scared, backs away. Others scream and run away.
The spoon has an eye on its bowl. It hisses softly.
"WAAAH!!!" yelled Mabel. Mabel touched some wax that began encasing her. "Uh...! GUYS!?!?"
Candy and Grenda try to catch the creature, but it keeps dodging their hands. Suddenly, the spoon lodges into Grenda's face, but Grenda woges and headbutts a boulder, which breaks the boulder. Disgusted for some reason, the spoon jumps off of Grenda's head.
"Ow..." said Grenda. She gets a bit dizzy and slaps it away, as La Di Da Di is slapped into Candy's face.
"AH!!! I GOT SPOONED!!!" Candy woges and slaps it to the ground, trying to stomp it.
Meanwhile, the old lady next to Dipper talks. "Dipper. 2:00. Your sister."
"Huh...?" asked Dipper, seeing the spoon from a distance.
Dipper takes out the Journal, opens it, and reads it to look up the creature."Spoon-like creature! Spoon-like creature! Spoon-like creature...!'La Di Da Di...?La Di Da Di is a strange creature I discovered that dwells in Gravity Falls, Oregon, known to be able to turn people into Wax Statues, named by the Cult using an unknown ancient language. It is a possibility that the cursed Wax Figures of Gravity Falls that I discovered were once victims of a cult that made them wear costumes of people throughout history. Until now, Wax Figures are still being created today by this cult using La Di Da Di. It comes in the shape of spoons... For some reason, they only appear at night!'Oh no! That creature must be a Rock Insect!" Dipper wrote that down in the Journal.
"Well... Do what Grimms do..." The old lady's voice echoed.
Dipper turns to the old lady, who had disappeared.
Dipper frowns. "Kids. Stay with your mother..." Dipper takes out his high-tech crossbow. "I have some hunting to do..."
"What does it want with Mabel!?" asked Pacifica.
"I don't know... But I'm guessing that it has something to do with the Journal." He gives the journal to Pacifica. "Hide this..."
Dipper charges toward Mabel. "MABEL!!!"
Anne, Sprig, Luz, Amity, King, Hopediah, and Polly all charge toward Mabel.
"This... Is giving me PTSD...!" yelled Polly.
Polly takes out a blaster and shoots at the spoon.
*PEW!!! PEW, PEW!!!*
Hopediah takes out an electric net and tries to catch the spoon.
It squeaks softly.
"IT'S A ROCK INSECT!!!" yelled Dipper.
"Insect!?" smiled Sprig.
Sprig tries to eat it.
"NO!!! Sprig! Don't eat it! You cannot digest that!" yelled Anne, activating Charged State and punching the spoon, which dodges her attack. "That creature is chemically inert. You'll die!"
Sprig pulls his tongue back inside his mouth. "Okay!"
Miguel does a Kung Fu jump and shoots heat vision at the creature.
"You have Heat Vision!?" asked Luz.
"I have Heat Vision Spells..." he corrected.
Luz shoots energy blasts. She then whistles as several notes attack the spoon. Luz then summons a demonic cat that tries to eat the spoon. She then tries to trap the creature within several roots.
Amity tosses Abomination Blades at the spoon.
Miguel yells out in a deep voice, "Shoop Da Whoop! I'm-a firin' mah laser!" Miguel vomits laser.
*POOH!!! BZZT!!!*
"What the fuk...?" asked the spoon. "Dead meme-..."
*Poof!*
The spoon die.
"Well... is it over...?" asked Candy.
"Guys...?" asked Mabel.
"MABEL!!!" yelled Candy and Grenda, charging toward her, but they gasp, stopping.
Several spoons are now on Mabel.
*PEW!!!*
Dipper shoots one spoon. "AIM FOR THE SPOONS!!!"
The group attacks the several spoons on her body.
"HOOOT!!!" yelled King, blasting a whistled sonic shout at the spoons, killing them.
Sprig takes out a gadget slingshot and shoots and kills the spoons.
Miguel then grabs some spoons and bites their heads off. "REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"
"HA!!!" yelled Anne, punching and killing a spoon. "HA!!! HA!!! HIYA!!"
Hopediah tasers some of them and Polly shoot some of them.
Luz activates an Eldritch Fan and slices the spoons over and over.
Amity kept on tossing Abomination Blades, killing the spoons.
Grenda then shouts and starts biting and mauling the spoons.
Candy smiles and woges. "Nya nya!" She then goes on to decapitate the spoons over and over.
What's that...? You don't even care about the spoons anymore because I roasted/offended/made fun of you in one of the things I said...? LOL!!!
What's that...? You're calling me either cringe, stupid, or annoying...? LOL!!! *dances to Nobody Like You by 4-Town*
"Was that all of them...?" asked Dipper.
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH!!!"
Suddenly, a stampede of a hundred thousand spoons starts charging toward the group.
Miguel claps his hands but the spoons keep on multiplying.
"DIPPER!!!" yelled everyone.
"PACIFICA!!!" yelled Dipper. "WHAT DOES THE BOOK SAY!?!?"
Pacifica takes out a UV light and sees the weakness in the book's page.
"Siegbarste's body odor!" yelled Pacifica.
"That's offensive!" yelled Grenda.
"Everyone stay with Grenda!" yelled Dipper.
All of them stayed in a circle while they all stood behind Grenda.
"Anything else!?" asked Dipper.
"Uh...! It says here that-! There are no weaknesses!" yelled Pacifica.
"NO!!!" yelled Dipper. "Wait... The book said that they only appear at night..." Dipper grabs the UV light from Pacifica's pocket.
*KSSH!!!*
All the spoons screech and melt.
They all smile at each other.
"KSSH!!! KSSH!!!" Sprig blasts the UV Lights at the creatures as they all squeak and screech.
Everyone blasts their UV Lights at the spoons.
Miguel rolls his eyes and opens a portal from the other side of the world and melts all of the creatures.
"Haa...!" smiled Miguel. "I love being God... Now, let's fix you up..." He then melts the wax around Mabel.
"Thanks..." smiled Mabel.
"Hey, Mom..." Mabel Jr. flips her hair. "Here..." He offers Mabel flowers.
"I have some, too!" Chris places the flowers on her frozen arm. "We saw how sad you were about your friends, so we picked some flowers from the mansion!"
"Sorry, you picked what out of my garden...?" asked Pacifica.
"Shush!" Dipper covered Pacifica's mouth.
Grenda and Candy approach Mabel.
"Oh... Hey..." she frowned, looking away and bowing her head.
Suddenly, the pair hug Mabel and sob.
"I thought-..." said Mabel. "You hated me now..."
The pair sobs.
"Oh, Mabel! We'd never hate you!" sobbed Grenda.
"Yeah! Nanen injong chabiale daeha du isang jue angdongyirljuji anhnenda! Urinen ggerteul mumchwssda,soniodle! Urinen injong chabialeul kketnassspnida!" sobbed Candy.
Dipper smiles, sighing in relief. "I guess it all went okay..."
However, a strange magical orb is watching them from the distance with an eye on it.
ZWVVVVVU!!!