487. Rock U Like A Hurricane ~And Mickey~
MABUS is in his cell, eating a dead rat. "Ah..." he said, hearing a loud thud from the cell next to him. "You're here..."
Silence could be heard.
MABUS crawls to the wall and speaks toward the cell next to him through a hole. He chuckles softly. "I can sense your... presence... It truly is terrifying, I say... I heard that they found you... crashland near the crash site of what they say is a Spaceship... I heard that you were... so dangerous, that they had to call Theresa Rubel to capture you. And I heard that she lost to someone like you... And I know... Ooh... That you're far more capable than that..."
The being stayed silent.
"You're thinking, 'What is this idiot human implying...?' Well, you see, I'm not just any idiot Human. I'm the former Chosen One... Also... (I am a Sorcerer... And I cast a spell that made both our cells adjacent to each other... and you can tell I'm not lying...)Uh-oh... Looks like I... (piqued your interest...)" he said and whispered. "Yes... That's right... I want to be... friends with you. Y'know... I had to crawl back to this asshole that I... pay respect to... 'Who,' you ask? You... probably know him... (Bill... Cipher...)" he sneered. "Your eyes widened... You scoff, thinking that I'm joking... Well, here's the thing... The person you're trying to take vengeance against...? He's working for the people we're trying to kill... Isn't that... interesting...?You're sneering... knowing that I'm telling the truth... THAT I am not lying to someone that deserves respect like you... Right...? Are you interested in working for your god, again...?"
"I am..." said a familiar voice.
MABUS sneered. "Good."
The Weather Reporters all silently eat their meals.
"So..." said Anne. "This prophecy says that we're the ones destined to use the Gems to save the world...?"
Yehoshua nods. "Yes. But not just that. You'd have a team. A special group of people is destined to destroy Bill Cipher, and a group of Grimms known as the JoJos will hold him off. It is stated that the ten chosen will hold hands and chant to destroy Bill's body, while four heroes will fight him off. The Calamity Users are destined to lead the army against the Anarchists. However, there are two possibilities. You could either win and save the Omniverse, or lose and suffer eternal damnation. There will be a war between heroes and villains, a war over the United States, and a war over the Dark Gems... And it will all end in a great battle over the fate of the world. I just came to warn all of you about that... I will be going."
"Hold on," said Nick. "Will you even be helping us...?"
"We already are, actually. We've been fighting the Dark Gems for a few years now... with our leader, Luke Skywalker.I'll be going... They need me..." Yehoshua stands up and prepares to leave... but... he hears something. He sighs. "Looks like I'll be staying." Yehoshua stands up and walks down the basement. "Whatever you do, don't tell that psychopath that I'm here."
Suddenly, outside, a modified TIE Fighter jet drops to the ground along with several others. Then, Mickey walks out of the spaceship. The others carry Stormtroopers.
"Alright, troopers! Stand down, or I'll maul your tiny penises!" said Mickey, in a clean suit with black sunglasses. He then takes it off.
"Who is that...?" asked Luz, peering out the window.
"And... why is he wearing sunglasses...? Isn't it night...?" asked Anne.
He knocks on the door and the pair look at each other.
"Uh..." said Anne. "Hey...?"
"Ah... You're the girl from Amphibia I made a show about..." said Mickey. He sees Luz. "Ugh... And that's the brat whose show I canceled."
"Why'd you cancel my show...?" asked Luz. "Also, who are you...?"
"I canceled your show because you did not appeal to the Disney-... Ah, fuck it. Because you're gay, and I don't like gay people," said Mickey. "And Dominicans! Or any Latino for that matter... Unless they're hot and suck my cheese dispenser... And you? You're a five at least. And I'm Mickey Mouse. I live in a Universe that creates movies out of your lives."
"Isn't that copyright...?" asked Luz.
"Actually, all forms of fiction's stories can be seen in alternate universes..." said Mickey. "Including fanfiction. Infinite worlds? Infinite possibilities. Haha! Anyway... Get the fuck outta my way, gay person."
Luz frowns and lets the piece of shit pass.
"Hello! Haha! Wonderful weather we're having..." said Mickey.
"Now, hold on," said Nick. "I'm not gonna let you insult my people then drop all that to help pieces of shit like you. And... what the hell are those squiggly vines around your body...?"
"Ah... Your eyes are black... You're a Grimm! Haha!" laughed Mickey. "Isn't that perfect...?"
"Aren't you supposed to be in jail...?" asked Sasha.
"Quiet, Viking!" yelled Mickey. "If you won't help me, then I'll tear this whole place to the ground..."
Mickey force chokes Nick, but Nick grabs the vine and squeezes it. "AUGH!!! FINE!!!" Mickey lets go of his neck. "I'm sorry for hurting your little enchantress' feelings."
"Mean it..." Nick squeezes the vine harder.
Mickey drools blood. "I... apologize for my actions... To all of you... Now, please... help me..."
Nick sighs and lets go of his vines. "Sorry, but we can't help you..."
"WHAT!?"
"You attacked Earth-777."
"Pfft! No, I didn't! It was never on the news that I organized it, so it didn't happen! Haha!"
"You almost killed my friends..." said Nick. "I don't help people who do that... And I've killed for less."
"Hmph! Looks like I can't ask for your help with the Gelumcaedus problem," Mickey said, walking away.
"What Gelumcaedus problem...?" asked Nick.
"Whoa, whoa... We aren't gonna help this guy, are we...?" asked Polly.
"Stand down, Polly," said Nick.
"Well, here is the thing... I heard that you know a man named Gregorek...?" asked Mickey.
"He escaped prison a year ago..." said Nick.
"Well... Let's just say that we're having a sewage problem... And that Wesen had been... eating my men... And... he has a few... Esper friends..."
"Wow. Great job. I didn't think a greedy rodent would pique my interest," smiled Nick.
"Easy, Grimm... Haha...! I could buy your franchise. Go to the Aquaman ride in the nearest headquarters from your Earth's Portland. The ride's always operational, so I should at least warn you about the moving water. Don't sue us for that shit since you're the one deciding to investigate." Mickey puts his sunglasses back on. "Ciao." He turns around and the troopers follow after.
"We'll help-!" smiled Luz.
"No... This... This is far too dangerous for you guys..." said Nick. "I'll handle this one. You guys just stay here."
As the ships fly into space, Nick walks outside the house and sits on top of his motorcycle, proceeding to drive off.
"That was weird..." said King. "Ah, well...! Well, Captain isn't here... So...?" smiled King.
"Anyone wanna have a party...?" smiled Sasha.
The group smile at each other.
Meanwhile...
Monroe and Rosalee smile, quietly staring into each other's eyes while drinking wine. Piano music could be heard upstairs.
"I can't believe that it's been 17 years...?" smiled Rosalee.
"Well... I'm just glad that we still have a lot of time left..." smiled Monroe.
"I'm just happy that we've been at peace for... a long, long while now... No new weird demons and no evil organizations to topple over..." smiled Rosalee.
Monroe sighs. "About that..."
Rosalee sighs and facepalms. "What...?"
*knock, knock...*
Monroe sniffs the air.
He walks to the door and looks outside. "(It's Nick.)"
Rosalee sighs and drinks all of the wine.
"Hey..." said Nick.
"Uh... Hi...? What's wrong...?"
"A... Little Wesen problem... Remember Gregorek...? The Gelumcaedus whose brothers I killed...?"
"Yeah...? What about it...? That's where you learned about the word 'Decapitare,' right...?" asked Monroe.
"Yeah... Well... He's back... And I need your help..."
"Why...? Why not just handle this guy like you did before...?"
"Well... I'm not exactly... as lean as I was at that age... And I heard that they're immune to lightning and fire because they're dragons..."
"Oh, yeah...!" smiled Monroe.
"What can my Stand do to take this guy down...?" asked Nick.
"You could always just... suffocate him..." said Monroe.
"Yeah, but I don't want to kill him. Just to put him behind bars."
"You were just suggesting to shock and burn him," said Rosalee.
"Not fatally," said Nick. "And Wesen have rights, Monroe... Wu's off on vacation... And Hank is retired... Who do I ask for help...?"
"We're kinda busy..." said Monroe. "I could but..."
"Right..." said Nick. "Felicity's recital."
"Yeah... And it's a day off for Freddy and Monalee so we're all going tomorrow..." said Monroe.
"Crap... Monroe, Rosalee... I'm so sorry that I can't come."
"Nah, it's cool. There's always next year... No hard feelings..." sighed Monroe. "But Felicity is up there practicing piano..."
Nick listens. "Yeah... I promise that if I have time, I'll get there... But right now, I need someone's help..."
"Why...?"
"Because there's also an Esper with them..."
"What about Mob...?"
"Off-world. And I don't know the guy very well."
"Tatsumaki? Blizzard?"
"Really? The Hero Association...? You really think they'll take this one as a case...?"
"Ibarra?"
"Off-Dimension. Fighting C'thulu in a staring contest."
"Yehoshua?"
"He can't go public."
Monroe thinks for a second. "What about the Crusaders...? And the Jazz Fusion...? They have Stands... Maybe they'll be able to help you out with your little psychic problemo."
Later...
"*YAWN!!!*" yawned Gabrielle, walking next to Nick. "Ugh! Mickey!? That guy's such an asshole!"
Nick is walking with Gabrielle and Josuke, and they all have headbands around their heads in a shape similar to Magneto's helmet.
"Yeah... What a butthole..." said Josuke. "If I had a nickel for the number of times Disney screwed me over... It'd be three nickels. That time at the Krusty Krab, that time in Earth-777, and that time Disney took down my Let It Go cover."
Earlier...
Josuke is wearing a beautiful blue glittery dress.
"The Stands glow white on the User tonight.Not a footprint to be seen.A King Crimson of isolation.And it looks like Killer Queen.
The Blutbad is howling like this swirling Stand inside!Couldn't keep it in, Made in Heaven knows I've tried...Don't let them in, don't let them see!Be the good girl... (boy, I mean... that you always) have to be!ORA, don't MUDA, don't let them know.Well, now they know!"
Josuke sprays glitter into the air.
"Let it go, let it go...Can't hold it back anymore...Let it go, let it go...Turn away and slaAAAAAAaam the doOOOOor!I don't care what they're going to say!Let the storm rage on!The bombs never bothered me anyway! Let it-!!! PLAH!!! PTAH!!! UGH!!! GLITTER IN MY MOUTH!!! UGH!!! *COUGH, COUGH!!!* ASTHMA ATTACK!!!"
"JOSUKE!!! SUKI CRAPPED HER UNDERWEAR!!!" yelled Erina.
"IN A MINUTE!!! *COUGH!!! WHEEZE!!!*" yelled Josuke, as he drops to the ground, twitching.
Now...
Gabrielle puts her hands over her head while looking at Josuke. "Aw, geez... Are you okay...?"
"Yeah. I took in a couple of hundred inhaler doses," said Josuke. "I'll be fine. What do you think, Nick?"
Nick sighs. "I think we should focus on the mission... This is it..."
The trio ends up right in front of Disneyland.
"Disneyland!?" asked Josuke.
"Apparently there's a ride called 'Aquaman's Adventure' around the time Mickey bought the DC Universe. Also, when he organized an attack against several Human and Wesen minorities and people from the LGBTQ+. It was covered up a year ago and Mickey's statement about the attack that he had nothing to do with was that it was a good thing, since those workers he took out were 'non-child-friendly.'"
"That evil bastard..." said Gabrielle, shaking her head. "Why are we working for him...?"
"Because we share the same enemy," said Nick. "But he's not a friend. More like a situational semi-ally."
"You said that he's with an Esper...?" asked Gabrielle. "Isn't that a kind of Woodland Fairy that gives you objects you offer it to...?"
"No... An Esper is a Psychic. What you're thinking of is the fairy from Minecraft called the Allay," said Josuke.
"So... They're operating in the sewage of this place...?" asked Gabrielle.
"No... in the ride... a very watery ride. Perfect for Gelumcaeduses."
"Y'know..." said Josuke. "Espers naturally work with Grimms. It's very unheard of for three Grimms... Well, a Grimm and a couple of Black-Eyes... to hunt and kill one."
"We're not here to kill them. We're here as cops. This isn't Black Claw."
"What!? They're back!?" asked Gabrielle. "Ugh! First the Dark Quartz now the Black Claw!?"
"Yeah... But at least they're not working together..." said Nick. "One problem at a time..."
Nick, Gabrielle, and Josuke listen for enemies.
Josuke tries to sense the environment. "Blow-A-Fusion..." he whispered, as his Stand appears.
Nick listens closely, but all he hears are crickets, owls, evening birds, cicadas, and even ants.
Gabrielle Erstewoges, going on to sniff the air and listen to the faintest of sounds. She hears rustling in the bush.
*tik, tik, tik, tik, tik, tik, tik, tik-tik-tik, tik, tik, tik-tik-tik, tik-tik-tik-tik-...*
A squirrel runs away. She continued ticking her wings.
"Gabrielle..." said Josuke. "Now is not the time to intimidate..."
"Sorry..." Gabrielle stops ticking the joints of her wings.
"Here's the ride..." said Nick.
The ride is absolutely beautiful. It's perfectly intact. It has a cave-like structure with the face of Aquaman in the front with a newly-casted Mera. And, next to the new Mera is a torn-out face of the original Mera who was played by Amber Heard. The only thing that's off about the ride is that Mickey said that it's always operating. But, the water right now is perfectly still.
"Didn't he say that the water's always... moving... or something...?" asked Gabrielle.
Josuke senses something bad. "I feel like something bad is gonna happen."
Gabrielle prepares to jump on the boat.
"Uh..." said Josuke. "Gabrielle...? Don't..."
"Why...?" asked Gabrielle.
"If you get on that boat... They'll immediately detect us... These headbands are only stopping the Esper to detect us... But the moment we touch the water, Gregorek will know that we're coming..."
"It's probably why they turned the water off, too," said Nick.
"I was about to say," said Josuke.
Gabrielle sighs. "Fine..."
Gabrielle Wahrewoges and wall-crawls on the walls of the cave. Josuke does so as well.
Nick simply floats up and flies into the cave structure.
"What's that...?" asked a voice that Nick hears.
"A bird probably flew in..." said the other voice. "Calm down..."
"Nah... The wind's making this huge current, and it's pretty weird... The water's splashing too hard..." said the other voice.
Nick sighs and slows down his flying to the pace of Gabrielle and Josuke.
"Heh... Never mind... I was probably just imaginin' things..." said the first voice.
*tik...*
Gabrielle grabs her wings while standing on the wall upside-down.
"Now... what was that...?" asked the second voice.
"I don't know..." said the first voice. "I'll go check it out."
The two Aswangs stay on the ceiling in a fetal position while Nick prepares his axes.
Nick realizes that there's a chance that the Esper is also underwater.
Nick zaps lightning to the water.
*ZAP!!!*
But... Nothing happened. No scream. No grunt. Not a sound was heard.
Nick prepares his axes, hearing something treading underwater.
Gregorek bounces from the water in scuba gear, giving off a muffled growl.
Nick uses a tornado to push him away.
Nick uses his Promethium Ax to try and decapitate him, but the ax breaks in half.
The Gelumcaedus then grabs Nick by the neck with ease. His Stand tries to punch the armor over and over again, but Weather Report's fists go bloody.
He slams him to the wall. "You... You killed my brothers."
Gabrielle bites into his neck, but her jaw breaks as he runs backward and crushes Gabrielle into the wall.
*CRACK!!! SPLAT!!!*
Josuke then blasts Killer Queen Ultimate's and Blow-A-Fusion's fists at the man over and over, but the man shoots a water blade at Josuke.
Josuke accidentally trips and the blade misses Josuke's neck by an inch.
Josuke tries to stand up, but Gregorek grabs his head and crashes it into the wall, knocking him out.
Gregorek then grabs Nick and beats his face over and over.
Gregorek then crashes him into the walls. "I will enjoy this, Decapitare..."
Nick headbutts him, but he screams and grabs his head in pain.
"You really are a fool, Burkhardt..."
Nick proceeds to remove the air around his body but realizes that the suit is letting him breathe.
Gabrielle Wahrewoges and activates Ultra Spin, punching him in the back of the head. She psychotically shrieks, flicking her tongue, ticking her wings, and using the strings to try and get into his armor.
"WRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYEAH!!!" Gabrielle tries snapping his neck and violently beats him, scratching, and shaking him as well. Her claws even snap off as trails of blood are left on the Stand.
He then grabs her head and snaps her neck.
He stands up and grabs Nick by the head and punches him. Nick proceeds to slowly, but dizzily, stand up and activates his vambrace to try and decapitate Gregorek, but Gregorek's suit breaks the blade.
Gregorek then grabs Nick by the neck. "You like my Stand, Decapitare?"
Nick stares at Gregorek and turns pale, punching his arm over and over.
"Absolutely indestructible... Harder than Vibranium... It helps me breathe underwater... probably even in space. Infinite oxygen... Heheh... I came here for a job... To protect that Esper... But this just got way personal...." He prepares his fist. "For my brothers."
Nick then grabs the tank of his scuba gear and activates a fire tornado inside of it using Weather Report.
"What the fuck...? Ugh... AGH!!! WHAT DID YOU...!?"
"You may be immune to regular fire... B-But h-how about fire with concentrated o-oxygen...?" asked Nick.
"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!"
*BOOM!!!*
*SPLAT!!!*
His Stand slowly dusts away as nothing but dust flows down into the water.
"Hey...!" yelled the Esper. She squints her eyes upon seeing Nick. "Grimm..." she said.
Nick sees red strings around her. "Hey..."
"You wanna go, Grimm...?"
"We're just here to arrest you..." said Nick. "I just killed your accomplice. I don't wanna have to kill someone else."
"His job was to kill all these horrible people who did me wrong..." she said.
Nick squints his eyes. "Luz...?"
"No..." she said. "I'm her actress from the House of Mouse Dimension."
"Sarah-Nicole Robles?"
"No... I'm also Luz Noceda..."
"Oh..." said Nick. "Right... They canceled your show, right...?"
Luz sucks in some smoke with her cigar and breathes it out. "I was her actress until Mickey decided that the show was too gay. He didn't even represent me right. He turned me into a Human on the show... I'm an Esper..."
"This is all this is...? To get back at him...?" asked Nick.
"Remember how my Amity Blight was injured in a car crash back in 2023?" asked Luz. "And now she's paralyzed."
"You're saying he organized it...?" asked Nick.
"Yeah..."
"So, what...? We'll just work for you...?"
"She's not lying..." said Josuke, waking up. "I can tell..."
"Work for me...? God, no... But as a person that you're placing under arrest... I'd like to say... Wonderful weather we're having..."
Nick sighs and bows his head. "What's the weather...?"
She sighs. "You're the first person to actually care and think I'm not crazy... People often think that these corporate big shots have clean hands and that's why they're big."
"I have some... experience with that kind of crap..."
"How'd it go...?"
"Let's just say that heads went rolling back in those days..."
She smiles. "Thank you..."
"I'm... sorry... About what happened to you... And the person that you cared about..."
"They paralyzed my wife... If you're gonna take the case... this is enough..."
The next day...
"BREAKING NEEEWS!!!" smiled Bodacious T. "Mickey Mouse was arrested for several allegations of apparently organizing conspiracies that led to the cancellation of several series... Also, allegations of racial and gender prejudices aloooong with plagiarism and very poor work conditions for the VFX department!!! Meow meow meeoow!!!"
Bodacious T switches his papers. "And on unrelated news... Batman and Spider-Man... secretly... LOVERS!?!?! Bringing in Liz Allen for this pure speculative theory."
Liz is in the room with Bodacious T. "So... Batman and Spider-Man. They are both muscular men that go around fighting crime together... until their break up in the last tournament. Luckily, their names were wiped out from the memories of Earth-1 and Earth-616 citizens... But I do have a question for you... Are... They... Doing... It...? And I'd be happy to tell you... They are... Because I have a vivid memory of the tournament where Spider-Man... GET THIS!!! Kissed Batman."
"What...?" asked Bodacious T.
The video is played and it's shown that Peter is crying for Bruce, both with censored faces.
"THERE!!!" she yelled.
"Ms. Allen, their faces are censored."
"UNCENSOR IT!!!"
"We can't do that!"
"WELL, I CAN!!! I NEED TO KNOW IF IT'S HIM!!! I KNOW IT'S PETER *BLEEP!!!* I'M NOT CRAAAZAAAY!!!"
Renard tries switching it off.
"No, no. I wanna see where this goes and what the bitch does..." said Gabrielle.
Bodacious T switches his papers. "And on unrelated news... Batman and Spider-Man... secretly... LOVERS!?!?! Bringing in Liz Allen for this pure speculative theory."
Liz is in the room with Bodacious T. "So... Batman and Spider-Man. They are both muscular men that go around fighting crime together... until their break up in the last tournament. Luckily, their names were wiped out from the memories of Earth-1 and Earth-616 citizens... But I do have a question for you... Are... They... Doing... It...? And I'd be happy to tell you... They are... Because I have a vivid memory of the tournament where Spider-Man... GET THIS!!! Kissed Batman."
"What...?" asked Bodacious T.
The video is played and it's shown that Peter is crying for Bruce, both with censored faces.
"THERE!!!" she yelled.
"Ms. Allen, their faces are censored."
"UNCENSOR IT!!!"
"We can't do that!"
"WELL, I CAN!!! I NEED TO KNOW IF IT'S HIM!!! I KNOW IT'S PETER *BLEEP!!!* I'M NOT CRAAAZAAAY!!!"
Renard tries switching it off.
"No, no. I wanna see where this goes and what the bitch does..." said Gabrielle.
Note: This is FICTIONAL... Most likely, huge corporations like Disney WOULD NEVER EVER cover things up like this!Seriously though, this is a work of fiction. Don't take it so seriously.
"We're gonna make a lot of enemies with this..." said Renard.
Nick smiles softly. "I'm counting on it."
Gabrielle is in Renard's office with an ice bag on her neck. Josuke also has one, but for his head.
"You guys okay...?" asked Nick.
"As long as that piece of shit stays in jail, yeah, I guess... I guess that this was worth it," said Gabrielle.
Josuke sneezes. "Ugh... No, it wasn't. I have a cold..."
Meanwhile...
Mickey watches the news in his office. "FUCK!!! I'LL GET THOSE DAMNED DISNEY HATERS!!! I'LL BUY THEIR FRANCHISES!!! YEEES...!!! THAT'S IT!!! I WILL BUY FANFICTION!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! AH HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! AHA!!! HAHA!!! HAHA!!! AH HAAAA!!!"