5. Chapter 5(2)

Kara’s still holding a handful of what is basically just sawdust in her hand, curled into a fist. Lena reacts to the distraught look on Kara’s face, curling her fingers around Kara’s hand soothingly. “Hey, it’s okay.”

“It’s not okay,” Kara says, shaking her head and looking about seconds away from bolting from the room. Lena’s desperate for that not to happen and she puts her other palm against Kara’s cheek.

“Yes, it is,” she replies with as much conviction as she can muster while shirtless and desperately turned on.

“Lena.” Her name sounds hoarse, like it’s being ripped out of Kara’s throat. “That could have been-”

“Hey,” Lena interrupts, stroking her thumb under Kara’s welling eye. “It wasn’t.”

“It could-”

“I don’t believe in dwelling on would have, could haves,” Lena tells her in a firm voice.

“Well I do,” Kara snaps and the set of her jaw conveys anger. At herself, Lena presumes.

“Kara,” Lena says in as gentle a way as she can, scooting closer and smiling. “We’re not going to get it perfectly the first time.”

“Stop acting like this is something trivial like - like - like not knowing what to do or something,” Kara sputters, ripping the fist holding the broken post out from under Lena’s grasp and opening it above the floor near the bed. They both watch as the crumpled remains of wood fall to the floor silently.

“I’m not trying to,” Lena says and she moves until she’s straddling Kara’s lap again, both hands on her cheeks like before. She’s a little surprised when Kara doesn’t stop her, just puts hands on Lena’s hips to keep her steady. “When I said this wasn’t a dealbreaker for me I meant it. But if you want to do this, then I’m willing to try, risks included.”

“Those risks aren’t worth it to me,” Kara replies, looking up at Lena with sad blue eyes.

Lena thins her lips, thinks of a different tactic. “When it happened,” she starts, then stops. “Walk me through what happened.”

“You - your - I mean I was -” Kara fumbles with her words, a blush starting to become visible in her cheeks and Lena feels charmed by it. “We were kissing.”

“Yes,” Lena laughs, despite the tense atmosphere around them.  

“And I was really into it,” Kara admits, looking away. Lena moves her hands until they’re in Kara’s hair, scratching lightly at her scalp. Kara’s eyes flutter a little at the feeling and Lena smiles softly. “And your hands were - and my hands,” Kara shakes her head. “I don’t know. I got overwhelmed and I moved my hand up to the headboard so I didn’t hurt you or anything and next thing I knew-”

“Kara,” Lena sighs, kissing her quickly. “You’re not going to hurt me. The fact that you moved your hand to avoid exactly that-”

“That could have been a fluke!” Kara exclaims.

“Was it?”

“There are just a lot of things that happen when we-” Kara gestures around, a flailing motion more than anything. “I can sense like a million things,” she explains and Lena tries not to blush when she realizes just how much Kara can probably smell, hear, feel.

“Look. No one gets anything right the first time around.”

“You get everything right the first time around,” Kara counters grumpily and Lena laughs.

“That’s not true.” Kara hums, unconvinced and a little pouty and Lena kisses her again quickly. 

“I love you,” she says quietly and it puts a still calm in Kara’s face that wasn’t there before. Lena doesn’t say the words often, despite feeling them near constantly, and every time she does a sort of wonder lights up in Kara’s face. “And I trust you.”

“I love you, too,” Kara says. She blinks up at Lena, her hands drifting up the skin on Lena’s back and back down. “I do want to do this. Obviously. Can we just - try again later?”  

Lena smiles, presses a kiss to Kara’s lips. It lasts maybe a little too long, and Kara’s hands are strong against her lower back, pulling her close again. One hand takes an adventurous trip underneath the back strap of Lena’s bra, and Lena’s gasp manages to break the kiss off. Kara’s eyes are wide again, but a charming one that seems like a normal terrified.

“Please put your shirt back on,” Kara practically whispers. Lena laughs, falling forward a little and tucking her head into Kara’s shoulder.

“You act like you’ve never seen a girl in her bra before,” Lena says, reaching down to the floor to grab her shirt and letting Kara’s hands keep her on the bed as she does. “You have x-ray vision, Kara, are you telling me you’ve never once seen through my shirt?”

“I - no,” Kara splutters, looking mortified and adorable. “No, I am extremely respectful.”

Lena slips off of Kara’s lap, pulling on the shirt and then settling against her pillows. Kara follows after her, and it’s maybe unintentional on the other girl’s part, but Kara crawling across the bed toward her looks predatory and it sends Lena’s heart off again.

But then, of course, Kara collapses on top of Lena, her head tucking right into her sternum, her arms wrapping around Lena’s body. Kara directs her attention towards the television, where the movie is still playing, but not before placing a kiss right over Lena’s heart.

--

The rumors about a secret branch of the government tasked with extraterrestrial activity were something Lena had been aware of for some time, but it’s an odd thing to be confronted with the truth of it. Kara sets them down just inside on a small platform and the first thing Lena notices is Alex’s pinched look of irritation.

The older Danvers sister is standing in front of them, arms crossed and dressed in what Lena can only assume is a DEO uniform. 

“This is supposed to be a secret government base,” Alex says to Kara with clear censure.

Kara rolls her eyes. “It’s Lena.”

“That can’t be your catch-all reasoning for everything,” Alex retorts and Lena feels her cheeks warm with the implication. It flutters in her chest for a comfortable minute.

“She’s here to help,” Kara says, grabbing for Lena’s hand and moving down the steps towards where Alex is standing. Lena follows after, noting the seal of the DEO on the ground, looking around as agents bustle past Supergirl and her sister.

“You were supposed to be under quarantine,” Alex continues, falling into step with Kara and Lena as they start off to somewhere.

“I had things to do,” Kara counters, and Lena whips her eyes between them.

“You were under quarantine?!” Lena asks, pulling Kara to a halt.

Kara waves her off with an eye roll and a casual hand gesture. “It’s fine.”

Alex is nodding behind Kara’s back, arms crossed and glaring at her sister. Lena sighs.

“Kara,” she chastises, thinking of how long they spent just idling around in her office while Lena got ready. Had she known Kara was in some kind of danger, or that Alex was waiting, she would have moved a little faster, or yelled at Kara.

“You can yell at me later,” Kara says, tugging at Lena’s hand and pulling her further into the base.

The base is loaded with all kinds of technology that Lena has never seen before and she should probably be paying attention to the conversation happening beside her, but her eyes can’t stop roaming over everything, cataloging it in the back of her mind.

She’s so preoccupied with looking around that she doesn’t even notice she’s being led to what looks like a medical bay until she’s stepping inside and Eliza Danvers is there to greet her with a wide, somewhat surprised smile.

“Lena,” Eliza greets, not unlike how she had at Thanksgiving. She strides forward to hug her and Lena recovers enough to return the embrace, smiling.

“Good to see you again, Eliza,” Lena says and she’s hyper aware of Kara just over her shoulder watching the exchange.

“I wish it was under better circumstances,” Eliza says and when she steps away, Lena notices the body on one of the beds, a man she doesn’t recognize standing over it with his hands on his hips, authoritative.

“This is J’onn J’onzz,” Kara introduces. “He’s director of the DEO.”

Lena shakes his hand warmly, smiles. “Nice to meet you, Director.”

“You as well, Miss Luthor,” he says, looking at her with an overly critical gaze. It feels piercing and for a brief moment Lena feels uncharacteristically vulnerable.

“J’onn is a martian,” Kara whispers with an excited little smile and Lena startles, realizes this must be the friend they rescued from Roulette’s fight club.

Alex steps up to them and gestures towards the monitor Eliza’s been looking at.

“We’ve been analyzing the chemical agent they released at the bar,” Alex tells her, stepping up beside her mother and typing in a few commands on a nearby computer. Lena’s eyes scan the machinery around Mon-El’s bedside, tries to put together what each piece does. “Kara’s under the impression that you might be able to help.”

“She can help,” Kara grits out defensively and Lena places a calming hand on her forearm.

“I’d be happy to take a look,” she says, smiling at Alex and Eliza and walking over to where they’re hovering around a monitor. “Where do we start?”

Eliza gestures to the screen in front of them. “I’m trying to isolate a strand of the virus from Mon-El’s blood,” she says and Lena moves around to squint at the screen. It takes a second, but she sees it about the same time she feels Eliza’s hand suddenly grab at her forearm.

“I recognize that protein code,” Lena says softly and Eliza is looking at her with matching realization.

“What is it?” Alex asks, looking over their shoulder. Kara hovers around them in a nervous sort of pose, one arm crossed over her stomach and the other reaching up to twirl a strand of hair around.

“It’s from Krypton,” Lena says with a certain amount of confusion. How could that be possible?

Alex voices the question immediately. “The virus is from Krypton? How did Cadmus even get their hands on it?”

“My blood,” Kara adds suddenly, with rapidly growing fear on her face. “That’s why they needed it. To get in.”

“To get into what?” Alex asks, looking at her sister with trepidation. 

“The Fortress of Solitude,” Kara says, already turning to walk away from the group.

Alex calls after her, but Kara’s taken to a run and seconds later she’s blasting out of the base and into the sky.

“The Fortress of Solitude?” Lena asks softly, looking at Eliza for an answer, but the other woman looks just as confused as Lena feels.

--

When Kara returns, it’s with angry steps towards where they’re all congregated near Mon-El’s bedside, but Lena detects something else simmering just beneath the surface of Kara’s skin. She looks shaky and unsettled and Lena wants to reach out and hold her.

“Medusa is a weaponized virus made on Krypton for the express purpose of attacking non-Kryptonian physiology,” Kara explains without any pretense. Her hands rest in clenched fists on her hips and her eyes stray to Mon-El as she talks. “They took the formula from the fortress and now Cadmus can make as much of the virus as they want.”

The knowledge that her own mother has a virus capable of exterminating all alien life on Earth burns through Lena. But there’s something else Kara’s upset about. Lena can tell in the way her jaw stays tight and her eyes can’t stay on one thing for more than a few seconds.

“That explains why Mon-El survived,” Alex comments. “Kryptonians and Daxamites share similar DNA.”

“So he’ll live?” Kara asks, looking up and directly at Eliza for the first time since she’s returned.

“He’s fighting,” Eliza responds, looking at Kara with a gentle expression. “But he needs a cure.”

Kara takes a deep breath and holds out a small object towards them. “Here’s everything I could find about the virus from the fortress.”

Eliza takes it with a soft smile and Alex reaches out to reassure her sister. “We’ll start working on it right away,” she tells her before linking arms with her mother and walking back towards the labs.

J’onn looks at Kara for a moment longer. “You alright?”

Kara sends him a smile, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

It’s clear he doesn’t buy it, but he nods and walks away, leaving Lena and Kara alone in the room with Mon-El, unconscious on the bed.

It’s quiet except for the beeping of machinery and the idle sounds of DEO agents shuffling around outside. Lena watches Kara for a moment before walking closer and settling a hand on a tense forearm. “What happened?”

It takes a few seconds for Kara to tear her gaze from Mon-El’s unmoving body and look at Lena, but when she does it’s with an expression that radiates pain and betrayal. “My father,” Kara says softly.

“What about him?”

“He created Medusa,” Kara confesses, looking like she can’t decide if she’s angry or sad. “He made the virus. The weapon. ”

“How do you know that?”

“Remember when I told you I have an AI of my mom?” Kara asks and Lena nods. “The Fortress of Solitude has basically everything Kal and I have from Krypton. Entire archives of history and - I asked it about Project Medusa. My father, a hologram of my father, told me that he created the weapon as a joint project between the science and military guilds to fight against alien invasions.”

Lena can practically feel the way Kara is vibrating with a dark energy and Lena slides her hand down until it’s tugging at Kara’s clenched fist, begging it to unravel and tangle with Lena’s fingers. “Kara,” she says softly.

“I thought my parents were the good guys,” she says, sounding tired and broken. It’s a pain Lena knows all too intimately.

“They were trying to protect your planet. They thought they were doing the right thing,” Lena argues, trying not to draw parallels to her own situation. Kara does it for her anyway.

“Just like your mom,” Kara retorts, shaking her head. “Like Lex.”

If it were anyone else speaking about her brother that way, Lena would feel an unstoppable need to shut down and clam up. But Kara looks lost and in pain and Lena just smiles in an attempt to soothe her. “We are not our family, Kara,” she says softly, not entirely sure if she believes that or not. “We are our own people.”

The sad look around Kara’s eyes doesn’t go away, but she does relax a little from the angry tension she walked in with. The hand Lena’s pulling at relents, letting their fingers twine together between them. There’s still red around her eyes, a slight hint of color like she recently used her heat vision and Lena wants to do whatever she can to make Kara smile again.

“What do you need?” Lena asks in a quiet voice, squeezing the hand she’s holding.

Kara returns the squeeze and looks at Lena with the slightest twitch of her lips. “Just stay here. With me.”

Lena nods, her chest tight with emotion. “Of course.”