14. Chapter 14(1)

The back of the van is cold and uncomfortable. After their initial conversation, her mother leaves her there alone, retreating to the front seat. Lena spends a few minutes surveying her surroundings and trying to see if she can escape. At the very least, she looks for some kind of opening in the armored side of the vehicle, something to expose the sound of her location to Kara.

It spikes a pang of worry in her heart for a moment. The last she saw of Kara, she was moving, but barely. There’s a high probability Kara is in no shape to be hearing Lena’s heartbeat or anything else. Her mother’s words echo ominously in her head Kara’s not coming, dear. And she won’t be able to find you either.

Kara’s fine, Lena tries to assure herself. She’d know if she weren’t. She would know. She repeats the mantra for a few silent moments before she can breathe evenly again and tries to focus on getting herself out of her current situation. Kara might be fine, but Lena can’t just sit back and expect a rescue.  

It’s dark outside the front of the van, so dark that Lena can’t see where they’re headed. The headlights are only barely lighting up the road and Lena wonders just how much of Metallo is cybernetically enhanced. He drives the car in silent acquiescence to Lillian's quiet instructions as they travel, but Lena can’t piece them together with any sort of coherence.  

Eventually, her mother rejoins her in the back and pulls a soft-looking sweater out of a duffel bag sitting there.

“You must be cold,” her mother says, handing it over with a soft smile. It makes Lena’s stomach turn over.

“I’m fine,” she bites out, crossing her arms over her chest to still a shiver that runs through her body.

“Don’t be petty, dear. Take the sweater.”

The next shiver she tries to suppress prompts her to swipe at the sweater and tear it out of her mother’s hands. Lillian merely arches a brow at her in reaction, but doesn’t say anything as Lena wraps the fabric around her shoulders, grateful for its warmth.

“I don’t know why you’re so angry,” her mother says after another few seconds of silence and Lena scoffs, unsure how a woman as smart as her mother could possibly be so blind to how Lena’s feeling.

“I’m not sure. Maybe because you kidnapped me-”

“I liberated you from that prison,” Lillian corrects. “I wasn’t going to let my daughter rot in there. Especially not when she did nothing wrong.”

The last bit is delivered with a self-aggrandizing sort of smirk that makes Lena’s eyes narrow immediately. “So you did frame me,” she says even though it’s only confirming something that’s been obvious to her from the moment Kara suggested the doctored security footage was made with the intent of putting her in that cell.

“I gave the public what they expected of you,” Lillian says, crossing her legs and straightening. She paints an imposing picture just like always. “And they ate it up.”

Lena’s brow pulls down. “What’s in it for you?”

“To show you reality, Lena. Look at how they treated you,” her mother says. “It’s high time you see the truth of the world and join the cause. We could certainly benefit from your help.”

Lena scoffs, can’t believe what her mother’s saying. “If you wanted my help you could have just asked, instead of concocting some ridiculous scheme to have me arrested and then kidnapped.”

“Yes,” Lillian says with hard eyes at dissonance with the smile on her lips. “Because asking for your help worked out so well the last time.”

Lips thin, Lena can’t deny that point. “If you were trying to get me on your side, you’ve failed. All you’ve done is make me look guilty when I’m not.”

“Your last name makes you look guilty on its own. Just as you made me look guilty in court a few days ago,” her mother replies with a soft, condescending smile. “You’re a Luthor, Lena. The public has already deemed you guilty, regardless of the facts. Luthors will always be evil. Just look at how Lex is viewed.”

“Lex hurt people,” Lena says and she hates the ache in her chest at the memory of her brother’s descent into madness. She’s sure that part of that pain will never go away. “He killed people. He tried to kill Superman.”

“He tried to save the world, Lena,” her mother argues, her eyes going hot in a flash.

Lena keeps her mouth shut, but shakes her head. There’s no arguing with blind insanity. 

“I told you we have to stick together,” Lillian adds. “You’ll come to understand that in due time.”

“Don’t hold your breath,” Lena grumbles, looking back out towards the front of the van. She lets silence stretch out between them for a moment before curiosity pulls a question out of her. “Where are we going?”

“We’ll be there soon enough,” is the only answer she gets and Lillian just stares at her, small smile playing across her lips until Lena feels compelled to ask the question that’s been nagging in the back of her mind.

“How did you find out?”

“Find out what?” her mother asks, her eyebrow raising as though she knows exactly what Lena is talking about.

“About Supergirl.”

“Ah,” her mother responds with a short laugh. “Yes, Miss Danvers.”

“When did you know?”

Her mother regards her for a few seconds, the rattle of the van travelling over slightly rough terrain the only sound in the small space. “Only recently,” she answers. “Had I known you were gallivanting around with some alien in college I would have pulled you out of there far sooner. It was bad enough that she distracted you so much in the first place.”

Lena bristles, has to take a deep breath through her nose to stay calm. “How did you find out?”

“When we had her in custody a few months ago,” her mother answers. “I saw recognition in her eyes when she saw me. At first I’d just assumed she knew me the way most people do.” Her mother smiles, self-assured. “I am a Luthor, after all.”

It takes everything in Lena not to snap at that, but she wants to hear the entirety of this answer.

“But when I asked her what you were to her, well…” Her mother laughs softly. “Your Kryptonian isn’t very good at hiding her feelings, is she? And she’s quite protective of you at that. It reminded me of your little fling. I’d only seen that kind of reaction once before.”

The memory comes to Lena then of the time Kara and her mother met and she can imagine Kara making the same annoyed, defensive expression in present day.

“How everyone else hasn’t seen it, I can’t fathom,” her mother says, and it’s almost funny if it wasn’t so entirely terrifying. “I can’t help but think of how disappointed Lex would be in you, if he knew about her, who she is. How you kept it from him.”

It’s a low blow, and Lena can’t help but direct a heavy glare at her mother for the words. But it at least quells some fear; Lex doesn’t know about Kara. That’s something. That’s important.

“It’s unbecoming to look so pouty, Lena. Relax your face,” Lillian says, and her smirk is something so sharp and cruel that Lena wants to lash out, scream and yell. But she settles for digging her fingers into the skin at her wrist, knowing it won’t help her now.

They don’t say anything else to each other, then, as her mother moves back to the front of the van and takes her place next to Metallo. Lena watches the steady glow of the headlights on the road outside and wonders if her and Kara will ever be able to be together without something in her life getting in the way.

--

They stop after another ten minutes of driving and Lena eyes the door handle in the back of the van while Metallo jumps out of the car and her mother follows. When the door opens, she’s suddenly faced with the image of the man she knows to be Hank Henshaw - or Cyborg Superman apparently - but it still startles her to see a face she would usually think is J’onn’s plated over with metallic, robotic parts. Metallo appears next to him and offers a hand to Lena, as if to assist her in stepping down from the vehicle, but she just sneers at him and jumps down herself.

When she looks up, she realizes they’re in a massive warehouse. There are shipping crates, cars, helicopters, and heavy concrete walls that give no indication to where they are.

“What is this place?” Lena asks, as she brushes past Metallo and Henshaw coming closer to her mother as they make their way towards the center of the warehouse.

“One of Lex’s old storehouses,” her mother answers simply as she approaches a solitary panel in the middle of the room. Lena eyes it even as her mother turns to look at her expectantly. It’s not an unfamiliar look, but Lena isn’t sure what Lillian wants.

“What are we doing here?”

A quick press of a few buttons from her mother’s fingers opens up what looks like a security program and Lena sees a handprint-scan come up on the small screen. Lillian looks at her, “Well, go ahead.”

“Go ahead what?” Lena asks with a furrow in her brow. She’s hyper aware of the way both Metallo and Henshaw are moving to flank her, suddenly.

“Open it.”

“Open it?” Lena parrots, her confusion obvious in her tone. “It’s a biometric lock.”

An exasperated look covers her mother’s face for a moment. “Yes, and it will only open for you.”

Lena’s eyes zone immediately in on the screen now. “What do you mean it only opens for me?”

“Lex designed it to only open for…” Her mother’s lips thin with clear displeasure. “You. Your DNA.”

“Me?” Lena feels a bit dumbstruck by the information. If Lex had sought to lock something up so carefully that only she could open it, she isn’t sure it’s something that needs to be opened ever.

“Yes, you,” her mother answers with an impatient exhale. “Can we get on with it?”

“What is it?” If her mother is desperate for her to unlock - whatever this is - and it belonged to Lex, well...it could be anything. A number of destructive things.

“It’s just the door, Lena. To the storehouse. Now be a good daughter, and put your hand on the panel.”

The mere fact that her mother wants her to do it makes Lena convinced she shouldn’t, even if she feels like a rebellious teenager all over again for thinking so. She takes a step backwards, but Henshaw stops her progress with a strong grip against her bicep. It becomes clear pretty quickly that her mother isn’t so much as asking her to do it more than making it clear she will.

“So this is why you,” Lena pauses, a snarl on her lips. “Liberated me from prison. Because Lex didn’t trust you enough to give you a key.”

“I retrieved you from prison to set you free and because I want my daughter with me,” Lillian says with a smile that Lena wants to slap. “We’re going to save the world. Whether you like it or not.”

The choice is ripped away from her when Henshaw and Metallo both grab her by the arm, Henshaw’s strong grip pulling Lena’s wrist until her hand is pressing against the scanner and the device registers her DNA. It twists her wrist painfully, and she tries to reign in her reaction, but her mother smirks the whole way as a small noise comes out of the scanner, recognizing her.

Something in her heart twists painfully when a small hologram of Lex’s face pops up out of the panel with a casual, boyish smile. “Welcome, little sister,” it greets and suddenly the floor shakes violently as a caged storage unit begins rising up out of the ground, packed full.

The room emerges entirely and the doors slide open to the inside. Lena feels like her heart seizes when she sees the centerpiece of the small room - Lex’s warsuit. Or at least an exact copy of the one he used to attack Superman, the warsuit that Lex had convinced her was for the betterment of the world. The suit Lena had thought, briefly, would prevent Kara from feeling like she needed to follow in her cousin’s footsteps.

The authorities had torn apart Luthor properties around the world to look for more of Lex’s weaponry, and they had somehow missed all of this.

“Your brother, genius that he was, has these sorts of facilities all across the world,” he mother tells her as they step inside. Lena rips her arm out of Metallo’s grasp and follows the group inside. “His arsenals will sustain the cause for years.”

An atomic axe hangs on a stand next to the warsuit and Lena spots a few boxes with labels she’s never seen before. “Lex didn’t succeed,” Lena says, keeping her voice even though her stomach feels like it’s coiled in untamable knots. “What makes you so sure you will? Even with all of this?”

“Oh, Lena,” her mother says, a smile on her face that makes Lena’s lungs turn to ice. “You are the key to all this, truly. If I have you, I might as well have Supergirl.”

Lena feels like she can’t breathe for a moment. Lillian ignores her, stepping around the room clearly looking for something specific. Lena tries to focus herself, takes the time to observe a case of what look like grenades next to her and tries to decipher what they’re used for.

“A black mercy,” her mother says almost reverently and Lena looks over to a glass case her mother has stepped up, to hosting some kind of plant like creature.

While her mother is mesmerized by whatever the hell a black mercy is, Lena spots something out of the ordinary on a crate of boxes towards the side. A white envelope sitting there innocuously, but Lena can make out the scrawl of her brother’s handwriting on the front of it. Trying not to pull any attention towards her, she wanders that direction and just barely suppresses a sharp inhale when her own name comes into view.

It’s lucky Lillian seems completely taken with whatever she’s finding on the other side of the room. This time it seems to be a small steel box that is likely the object of her mother’s search based on the way she gasps upon seeing it. “Oh, my darling boy,” Lillian says and Lena gets her fingers on the envelope just as Lillian is picking up the device. “You did finish it.”

Before Lena can say anything to that, but after she has time to tuck the envelope inside her sweater, a crashing sound breaks through the room and a huge pile of broken concrete comes raining down through the ceiling as a red and blue blur lands in the warehouse. Her heart seems to calm the moment she recognizes who it is, but picks back up again when her mother just smiles in reaction, reaching for the grenade Lena had been inspecting earlier and walking towards Kara calmly.

“Supergirl!” Lena yells out in warning as she jogs after her mother, Metallo and Henshaw. They all stand in front of Kara, who has adopted a defensive stance. Her eyes hardly leave Lena for a second, and even from a distance, she can see the shake in Kara’s hands.

“You’re not getting away with this, Lillian,” Kara says lowly, but her mother just laughs.

“I’m so glad you’re here... Kara,” her mother says and Lena watches Kara’s eyes widen a little in surprise. “You’ll make a perfect test subject. I’d love to see if these work.”

The grenade in her mother’s hand goes arcing in the air towards Kara, who catches it with ease, a furrow in her brow as she looks at the device for a moment. It takes but a second before Kara is lurching forward and a sound of pain escapes her lips as she drops the grenade on the ground and clutches the side of her head. Lena’s heart drops; she can’t hear a thing, but Kara is screaming out, grasping her ears as if she’s hearing something incredibly painful.

“Stop!” She screams at her mother. “Don’t hurt her!”

Kara is still in pain, writhing on the ground, and Lena tries to run to her, only to get lifted straight off the ground by Henshaw. She tries to struggle out of his hold, while Kara claws at her head and gasps for air, but there’s nothing she can do.

“Don’t be silly, Lena,” Lillian says, her eyes still on where Kara is curled up on the floor. “This alien’s family destroyed ours. It’s time someone pay for what Superman did to Lex.”

“Put her in the vault. I’m sure we can find a use for that axe,” her mother orders and Metallo steps forward to pick Kara up by the arm. Lena watches helplessly as Kara goes with the tug, slumping forward, her face pinched in pain and the green on Metallo’s chest glowing ominously.

“Stop!” Lena tries again, but her mother directs a stare at her as though she’s being incomprehensible. “Please, stop!”

“Why do you care so much for someone who ruined our lives?” Lillian asks. Kara’s feet are dragging on the ground as Metallo pulls her along, and Lena tries again to get out of Henshaw’s grip, to get to Kara, but he’s so strong. His fingers press into her skin hard enough that she feels like he might break her arm.

Kara is trying to talk, now, her hands pushing at Metallo’s body, her eyes unsteady and unfocused. Lillian is laughing, and Lena is panicking, trying to break free from Henshaw.

Apparently, he grows tired of her struggling, throwing her to the ground so hard that her head cracks against the concrete and she feels her vision go in and out for a moment. The image of Kara across from her goes blurry around the edges and she foggily realizes she probably just got a concussion. Kara yells something that echoes around in her brain, and she sounds angry, scared, and Lena aches to soothe it, somehow.

Metallo is dragging Kara towards the vault and Lena tries to pick her body up off the ground, but it feels impossible, like she’s dragging upward through molasses.

“Metallo’s heart is going to explode,” she hears Kara yell out, clear as a bell, and through the haze her vision has gone under she can make out the unstable way the kryptonite is glowing in Metallo’s chest, can see how it’s affecting Kara.

She’s not entirely aware of much else as she tries to get her head to clear until suddenly two other figures join the fray and she hears the familiar sound of J’onn’s voice yell out for Kara.  

It’s all a chaotic mess after that until two familiar hands are gripping her arms and turning her, sliding over her biceps.

“Lena,” Kara is saying desperately, repeating her name over and over, and Lena tries to blink the image of Kara’s face clear, but before she can respond Kara is scooping her up in her arms and jumping up into the air.

Lena wraps her arms around Kara’s neck as they jolt forward and they burst away from the warehouse. Kara flies much faster than Lena is used to and she has to bury her face in Kara’s neck to avoid the sting of air rushing past her. Moments after they’re airborne she hears the loud sound of an explosion ring out and feels Kara lurch as if impacted by it. It feels like mere seconds before Kara lets out a gasping sound and Lena feels the swoop in her stomach that indicates they’re falling towards the ground.

Their impact lacks any sort of grace. Kara’s flight drops out a full five feet from the ground, and Lena’s head ends up mostly hitting Kara’s chest when they crash. It’s hard enough that her vision blacks again, but Kara just dropped out of the sky. Lena rolls out of Kara’s hold and Kara falls away, the foreign sound of her sucking in air making Lena’s focus go straight towards her, panic cutting swiftly through any kind of fog in her head.  

“Kara?” Lena asks, her throat feeling hoarse and overused as she finds some kind of control over her body and scrambles towards Kara. Her knees scrape against the ground painfully, but it doesn’t stop her. “Kara, are you okay?”

Kara doesn’t answer, just stays bent over on the ground, her body vibrating and Lena can see the frightening green glow of her veins across her neck and skin.

“Kara,” Lena tries again and when she gets close enough she puts her hands on Kara’s cheeks and tugs upward until their gazes connect. Kara’s eyes are wide and panicked, the crinkles around them conveying pain that Lena’s not used to seeing.

“Lena,” Kara gasps out with a crazed fear all over her face that Lena reacts to immediately.

“Hey, you’re okay,” Lena says and she manages to find some semblance of calm to cling to, wills her heartbeat to slow and grabs for one of Kara’s hands. It’s easier than usual to pull her arm the direction she wants and Lena knows the kryptonite explosion is affecting Kara, can tell how drained she is.

Kara’s shaking her head as if to say no I’m definitely not okay, but Lena just takes her hand and presses it against her chest right over her heart, keeping Kara’s fingers there in a familiar gesture. “You’re okay,” Lena repeats. “Breathe with me, feel my heart beating.”

It’s unclear how much of Kara’s powers have been affected and Lena isn’t sure if her hearing can pick up the sound of her heart anymore, but she knows Kara has to be able to feel it, can tell that Kara can by the way her hand immediately presses harder against Lena’s sternum.

“The kryptonite,” Kara says in a hoarse sounding whisper and Lena shuffles closer with a shushing sound. Kara’s other hand comes up to Lena’s side, pressing in against her rib cage.

“I know, I know,” she says, bringing her hand up to cup Kara’s cheek. “Just breathe, you’ll be okay. Count them.” 

Pain and panic are still mixing on Kara’s face, but her eyes zone in on the hand Lena has pressed against her chest. “I can’t, I can’t hear-”

“Kara,” Lena interrupts and her throat hurts with the force of it. “Just count, focus.” 

Kara’s eyes squeeze shut for a moment but her breathing starts to even out just enough for Lena to know it’s working. “Count,” Lena tells her in a softer voice than before and then she starts the numbers for her, hopes it will prompt Kara to follow her lead.

Counting in Kryptonian was one of the first things Kara ever taught her and Lena clings to the memory of warm, relaxed lessons in the comfort of her dorm room while she lets the numbers drop out of her mouth here in present day.

By the time Lena gets to duhv, Kara seems to get some of her control back and she parrots Lena’s words, taking over the counting and letting some of the panicked tension seep out of her.

“That’s it,” Lena says with an encouraging nod and smile. “Relax.”

Kara sags forward into Lena’s touch until she’s falling against Lena’s body and they both go towards the ground, Kara’s hand still pressed against Lena’s chest, her head coming to rest tightly against Lena’s collarbone.

“Everything’s okay,” Lena murmurs and spares a moment to breathe herself, her arm wrapping around Kara’s back and clutching her cape. Pain in her own head starts to make itself known again, but she ignores it in favor of resting her forehead against the crown of Kara’s head and timing their breaths together.

“I’m sorry,” Kara whispers against Lena’s collarbone and Lena has to struggle against the fog still clouding her brain to make the words out. “Sorry I didn’t stop them. I’m sorry I-”

“Shhhh,” Lena commands. “Don’t be sorry. You saved me.”

They stay still like that for long minutes, nothing but the silence of the field around them and the slow feel of Kara’s strength returning bit by bit. Lena feels like the haze in her brain is going to overtake her at any point, but she forces herself to stay awake, focused on Kara.

Eventually, Kara pushes off her, seemingly much more calm and stable than before and looks at Lena’s face. “Are you okay?”

Lena tries to nod, but it just spikes pain in her temple and she winces. This time it’s Kara that clutches her cheeks and keeps their eyes connected. “What’s wrong?” Kara’s hand swipes upward on Lena’s head and brushes some hair away. The fleeting feeling of Kara’s fingers against her skin actually hurts and she realizes that must have been where she smacked against the concrete.

“You’re bleeding,” Kara observes, her voice like steel as she inspects Lena with her eyes.

“Hit my head,” Lena manages to say and her vision goes a little black around the edges. The adrenaline is leaking out of her quickly and it’s leaving her body drained and heavy. Without the pressing need to take care of Kara, Lena can feel the will to stay conscious pass out of her. Kara barely gets an arm around her waist in time before she goes falling to the ground again.

“We need to get you to a hospital,” Kara says with a nervous urgency in her voice.

“M’fine,” Lena mumbles, her hands reaching out to clasp Kara’s biceps. “I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine,” Kara insists and then she looks around them a moment, her jaw clenching in anger. “I can’t fly us. Metallo’s stupid synthetic kryptonite.”

“It’s okay,” Lena says again, but she can feel her fragile grasp on consciousness ebbing away from her and Kara’s eyes are radiating fear when Lena looks up and manages to trace her fingers softly across Kara’s cheekbone. “It’s okay.”

Kara looks like she says something else, but Lena doesn’t hear it as her vision goes completely dark.

--

Lena feels drunk.

No. Correction. Lena is drunk.

“Kara, I’m drunk,” she mumbles, and when she trips, Kara’s arm tugs her back upright. It’s easily three in the morning, and the campus is empty. It thrills Lena a little bit, to be so free of people, to just be with Kara, and the world spinning all around them.

“I know, babe,” Kara says with a laugh. “You’ve told me like sixteen times.”

“I’m like - drunk. Big time,” Lena says, wide eyed as she looks at Kara. “We should go out more. Go dancing or something. Food! You love food.”

“I thought you said you weren’t going to ever have another meal with me after the chicken wing incident,” Kara says, mimicking Lena’s words from earlier that day and she’s laughing until Lena starts to climb up on a nearby bench and the sound stops with a surprised choke of, “Lena, be careful!”

Lena rolls her eyes and manages to get up on the bench with a flourish. “I’ll have you know that I’m extremely dexterous.” It’s autumn, and her girlfriend is smiling at her, and everything feels relaxed and easy. She tries to tug at Kara’s arm, get her to join her on the bench, but she doesn’t budge.

“Says the girl that nearly fell out of a tree two hours ago,” Kara mumbles and Lena scoffs in indignation.

When she reaches out to slap at Kara’s arm she sways forward unsteadily and almost falls off the bench until Kara’s hands latch onto her hips to keep her upright. “Oops,” Lena whispers into another laugh that has Kara smiling in exasperation.

“I told you to be careful.”

“Come up here,” Lena commands with a hint of whine in her voice.

“Why don’t you come down here so you don’t fall?” Kara asks. Lena leans down, her hands wrapping up around Kara’s neck and she presses a quick firm kiss to Kara’s forehead because it’s just too close not to.

“I’m not going to fall,” Lena says a little exasperated. “You’re holding me up.”

Kara’s hands flex against Lena’s hips and she smiles when Lena presses another kiss against one eyebrow and then the other, fluttering kisses across her face. “I might drop you if you keep kissing me.”

Lena laughs a little. “No you won’t, you’re too strong,” she says and she leans forward even further until Kara’s hands slide across her back, arms wrapping around her in a way that cuts through the alcohol straight to her gut. “I like that you’re so strong.”

“Yeah?” Kara asks, and this time she pulls Lena forward a bit until her feet are hovering off the bench for just a second.

With a soft hum of agreement, Lena kisses her again swiftly but with more intention this time. “It definitely does it for me.”

“Does it for you?” Kara’s head tilts a bit in confusion as she tries to understand the phrase and Lena just pushes her hips forward, her fingers threading up into Kara’s hair.

“In a sex way,” Lena clarifies and if it weren’t so dark and if Lena weren’t still so drunk she’s sure she’d be able to see Kara blushing. As it is, Kara makes a soft noise of surprise and just pushes her head forward until it’s pressing into Lena’s chest.

“Lena,” she chastises into the fabric there, but Lena just laughs. It still all feels so good and easy and if she closes her eyes she’s pretty sure she might be able to fall asleep just like this, secure in the way Kara is holding her.

“I’m drunk though,” she says after a moment, head falling forward until her lips are brushing over Kara’s hair. “I don’t know how great I’d be at anything sexy right now.”

“Can we go up to your room now?” Kara asks with a longsuffering sigh that makes Lena want to kiss her again. So she does.

Kara’s lips curl into a smile against Lena’s mouth and she pulls Lena forward into her body and up off the bench. It feels like it always does when she kisses Kara like this. All floaty and warm. Lena’s entirely sure she’ll never get sick of it.

“Take me home,” she murmurs into the kiss and Kara inhales sharply as if in surprise at the order.

“Come here,” Kara replies, and Lena’s whole world tilts a little as she’s lifted further off the bench and settles into Kara’s arms. Kara’s hands come under her back and under her knees, and Lena knocks her head into Kara’s collarbone. Kara’s heartbeat is thumping along under her ear and the stars are so nice and the air is that kind of temperature that warrants snuggling into Kara’s warmth.

“I feel so drunk,” Lena mutters, her lips moving against the skin exposed near Kara’s collarbone.

“Yeah,” Kara sighs, but she’s smiling when Lena tilts her head back to look up at her. “I know.”

“How did I get this drunk?”

“You wouldn’t stop playing Whale’s Tales until you won and Aaron brought out his good whiskey.”

“I won though,” she says pointing a finger at Kara’s face. Or at least she think it’s Kara’s face, but the world looks all fuzzy and wavy around the edges. All she wants to do now that she isn’t tasked with walking is snuggle up against Kara’s body and sleep.

“Lena, stay awake,” Kara says, jostling her a bit as they walk and it does the trick.

“M’not asleep,” she protests even though it feels ridiculously difficult to keep her eyes open.

“Just a little bit longer,” Kara assures her.

“How are you not drunk?” Lena asks with an accusatory glare at her girlfriend’s face.

Kara laughs. “You know how,” she says and Lena feels like she’s forgetting an important detail for a long moment until she remembers, perking up in Kara’s arms.

“Oh, because you’re a-”

“Lena!” Kara exclaims, shushing her with a laugh that Lena returns. Everything feels super funny at that moment though Lena’s not sure why.

The alcohol, she imagines. “Whiskey is great,” she says with a smile that Kara laughs at.

“You might feel differently later.”

“Sleepy,” Lena murmurs after her laughter tapers off into a yawn.

“I know,” Kara says softly and she’s dimly aware of the fact that they’re walking up stairs. How Kara gets the door open to her dorm is sort of a mystery, but she lets Kara pull at her shirt and bra and she nearly falls off the couch when Kara tugs off her jeans, but it feels like only moments later that Lena feels the softness of her sheets at her back as Kara sets her down on the bed.

“Don’t leave,” Lena protests when Kara tries to move away, but Kara just removes the hands Lena has clutched into her sweatshirt and soothes her with a soft kiss to her forehead.

“I’m not leaving, I’m just getting you a glass of water,” she says and Lena falls back against her pillow, licking against the thick feeling in her mouth. The pillow somehow smells like Kara, which is strange, because it’s definitely her pillow, the designated pillow that is hers.

“I had so much whiskey didn’t I?” She comments as the ceiling above her swims in and out of focus.

Kara’s laugh echoes from the small bathroom adjoined to her room, and it makes her smile for a moment and then suddenly the mattress dips and strong hands are lifting her up into a sitting position. “Drink some water,” Kara orders and Lena obeys.

The water is cold and soothing as it pours down her throat and she squints at Kara’s smiling face as she gulps it down slowly.

“Good job,” Kara says, plucking the empty glass out of her hands.

“You’re a good job,” Lena replies, pointing her finger out to hit against Kara’s nose. Except her motor skills aren’t exactly perfect and she ends up just poking Kara in the cheek and laughing.

“Thanks,” Kara says with a laugh as she sets the glass down and Lena flops down onto the bed, twisting onto her stomach so her cheek can press against the cool side of her pillow.

A pillow that smells so much like Kara it nearly pulls her straight into sleep. “Is this your bed?” Lena asks in a muffle, her mouth half pressed into the bed under her.

“No,” Kara says and she’s sliding down next to Lena onto her side. The warmth of her spreads outward like something grasping at Lena and pulling her closer. She doesn’t fight it, just shifts until she’s all but crawling on top of Kara, finding a comfortable place to slump across.

“This is my bed?”

“Yes,” Kara answers with a chuckle. Her fingers trace down Lena’s spine and it makes her body go completely limp.

“Smells like you though,” Lena observes because it does and she feels like she’s surrounding by everything Kara, her senses nearly overwhelmed by it.

“I sleep here a lot,” Kara tells her in a soft voice, her lips against Lena’s forehead. “Did you forget?”

Lena just squirms in closer, tries to get the room to stop spinning, but it doesn’t change much with her eyes closed or open. “I’m so drunk,” she says for what is probably the twentieth time in the last hour. A twinge of regret for feeling the need to so pointedly outdrink their male friends spikes through her.

“You’re going to be so hungover in the morning,” Kara says with a soft, empathetic laugh.

“You’ll take care of me,” she replies against the skin of Kara’s collarbone. Her neck smells like cool fall rain and peach body wash and it washes contentment over Lena that has nothing to do with the whiskey still swirling in her brain.

“I will,” Kara agrees softly, kissing Lena’s temple and that’s all she remembers as she finally gives into the strong tug of sleep, relaxed and assured by everything Kara.

--

When Lena wakes up, it’s to the bright lights of the DEO medical bay and the sound of beeping machinery to her right. Her eyes take a bit longer than normal to focus, but she finally does and is pleased to feel that her head is no longer radiating immense pain. There’s a throbbing headache at the back of her skull, but it’s nothing like what it had felt before.

“Alex, I’m fine!” Kara’s voice angrily rings out from outside the room and Lena turns her head slowly to see Kara stomping towards the door, Alex hot on her heels.

It surprises her just a bit when Alex is able to wrap a hand around Kara’s arm and physically pull her to a stop. A look of pure frustration shadows Kara’s face as she turns to her sister.

“You need some more time under the-”

“I’m fine,” Kara repeats and she pulls her arm out of Alex’s grasp. “I’m going to check on Lena.”

“Lena’s actually fine, but you’re-”

Kara doesn’t wait for the rest of it, already intent on coming into the room and she pulls up immediately when she notices Lena looking at her. “Hey,” Kara breathes out quickly, eyes wide as she rushes towards the bed. “How are you feeling?”

Alex comes in right after her, but the angry expression on her face fades immediately upon noticing that Lena’s awake and she comes up next to her sister. They wear matching concerned expressions as Alex repeats Kara’s question.

Lena would laugh if she wasn’t sure it would hurt her head. “I’m fine,” she answers instead, though it feels like a lie. Physically she feels relatively whole, but emotionally she feels liable to shatter at any second. The memory of Kara bent over on the ground, gasping for air and looking at Lena with wide, panicked eyes threatens to topple any restraint she has on her sanity. Her eyes roam over Kara’s face to assure herself they’re past that. “What about you?”

Kara nods immediately, but a hint of the anger from earlier comes back onto Alex’s face as she glances over. “She needs to be back under the-”

“I’m okay,” Kara says emphatically, sparing her sister a glare.

“You nearly died in a massive kryptonite explosion,” Alex practically hisses, glancing at Lena for support.

Having the idea manifest like that - Kara’s death - makes the breath Lena tries to inhale pained and thick. Her eyes burn a bit and though she doesn’t disagree with Alex’s assessment - would be perfectly happy to keep Kara locked in a safe sun-filled room for a month - she can’t find the words capable of supporting her.

Kara seems to realize what Alex’s words have done to Lena and she pulls her glare off her sister and trades it for a soft expression as she leans closer to Lena and murmurs, “Hey, I’m okay. We’re both okay.”

It seems to clue Alex into where Lena’s thoughts have wandered off to as well and she pushes closer net to Kara, reaches out to put a warm reassuring hand against Lena’s shin. “She’s fine,” she tells Lena, at odds with everything she’s been saying for the past minute. “But her powers are taking longer to come back and it wouldn’t hurt if she stuck around under the sunlamps for a little longer.”

Lena nods, tries to school her heartbeat down to a normal resting pace. She’s sure the sound of it beating hard against her ribs would be deafening Kara if her ability to hear was at its normal level.

“So Metallo’s kryptonite heart actually exploded?” she asks, if only to focus on something more concrete than the abstract thoughts of Kara dying in her arms.

“Yeah,” Alex says and she props a hip up against the side of Lena’s bed. “Whatever was in the synthetic kryptonite, it was unstable enough that it overloaded.”

A pressing question starts to push against her brain. “My mother? Henshaw?”

The look Kara and Alex share tell her all she needs to know. “M’gann and J’onn tried to follow the trail,” Alex explains with a resigned sigh. “But they’re in the wind again.”

Lena’s eyes go back up to the ceiling and she tries to avoid thinking about all the ramifications of that news, how terrified she feels knowing that her mother knows who Kara is and is hellbent on destroying her. It feels like too much to process right now.

Her mother’s words float across her consciousness nonetheless. If I have you, I might as well have Supergirl. The implication that she could be used like that, used to hurt Kara or worse, makes something heavy and suffocating press against her chest. It had always been a fear of hers - Kara being hurt just for having touched a bit of Lena’s life - but this is so much more real, so much more threatening.

“We don’t even really know if they survived the explosion,” Kara tries, interrupting Lena’s dark train of thought. It’s possible that her mother and Henshaw had died, but Lena can hear how thin that excuse is, how much Kara herself doesn’t even believe it. If anyone’s proven themselves able to defeat the odds, it’s seemed to be her mother. “Metallo’s heart combusting sent the whole warehouse up.”

“She survived,” Lena says definitively with an unimpressed thinning of her lips. Kara sighs, but doesn’t disagree.

“We’ll find her,” Kara says with a conviction Lena can’t find it in herself to feel, but when Kara’s hand scrambles over the bed to clasp with hers, a little bit of the tension around her heart eases.

There’s tangible proof of Kara’s powerlessness in the way she grasps at Lena’s fingers, tighter than normal. “So, you’re still…” She has to swallow on the words, glancing at Alex for a moment.

Alex straightens, crosses her arms across her chest and gives Kara a pointed look. “Like I said, she could use some more time in the sunbed. The last thing we need is a powerless-”

“I’m not powerless,” Kara denies, looking exasperated at both of them now. “Some of it has come back.”

“Not all of it and you should be-”

“I’m not going to spend days-”

“-under the sunlamps for at least-”

“-in a medical prison because you-”

“-another day or until we can run more-”

“-are a complete-”

“Guys!” Lena interrupts, pinching the bridge of her nose and trying to fight against the worsening of her headache. Both sisters cut off mid sentence and look at her. “If you’re going to fight can you do it somewhere out of hearing range?”

Kara leans back over the bed immediately, her fingers brushing hair away from Lena’s temple and rubbing soothing circles over her forehead. “Does your head still hurt?”

Falling into the feeling of Kara touching the pained muscles stretched over her skull, Lena closes her eyes a bit and nods. The pain eases a bit under Kara’s touch and Lena feels like she could fall asleep again if she let herself.

Part of her fights against it. Sleep might only bring nightmares. Dreams wrapped around the memories of the previous night when her mother looked at her with a warm smile, but cold unfeeling eyes, and Kara went limp and weak against her body.

The other part is already sinking into the warm sensation of Kara’s fingers, and the close presence of two people she trusts standing near her bedside.

“Sleep,” Kara murmurs. “You need to heal.”

Lena thinks to protest, but Kara’s pressing a kiss to the crown of her head and it makes her brain feel sluggish with the desire to close her eyes.

“We’ll be right outside,” Alex says softly and Kara squeezes her fingers.

“I’ll be right back,” she tells her. 

Her eyes open for a moment to see Kara tugging her sister back outside and speaking in a hushed whisper, but she doesn’t try to listen in. Instead, she slumps back down against the bed and wills her body to heal.

--

They spend the next two days at the DEO. Kara refuses to spend that time under the sunlamps, claiming they’re not helping at all and that her powers will come back when they feel like coming back. Somehow, Kara gets Alex to agree, because she doesn’t bother Kara with more talk of healing herself. Instead, Kara camps out in a chair next to Lena’s bed, her feet propped up on the mattress as she reads through some of Lena’s emails for her and types out a few responses.

Lena’s grateful for, at the very least, the close reminder that Kara’s alive and recovering. The thought of having Kara out of sight right now or of being alone runs a kind of fear up her spine that she has no defense against.

The anxiety is only eased by the press of Kara’s feet against her legs and the soft sound of her voice as she reads out her e-mails, the clacking of her keyboard making Lena’s heartbeat stay even.

“You have like ten e-mails and a bunch of messages from a Jack…” Kara squints at the laptop. “Jack Spheer. Oh.”

Kara’s faze freezes in realization, her lips still forming a silent oh. Lena isn’t entirely sure what Kara has realized or knows about Jack, but she can take a guess.

“I’m sure he’s seen the news and is worried,” Lena says softly, watching Kara’s face. “Send him a note that I’m okay and that I’ll call him soon.”

“You still talk to Jack?” Kara asks after a moment of silence, finally looking up to lock eyes with Lena.

“Jack is a good friend of mine,” Lena explains carefully, unsure of where Kara’s reaction is coming from. “He called me last week when he heard about my mother’s trial, but we hadn’t spoken since I came to National City before that.”

Kara nods, turning back to the computer and beginning to type again - presumably the message to Jack. Hopefully.

“Kara,” Lena calls out softly. Kara makes a noise of acknowledgement but keeps her eyes trained on the laptop. “Jack and I-”

“Dated,” Kara finishes for her, looking up again. Her expression is fairly neutral, all things considered, and Lena’s not sure she has a grasp on where this conversation is going or what Kara’s thinking. “I know. It was all over the news.”

Lena arches a brow at that information - she knows, intellectually, that her relationship with Jack had been something well publicized, but she hadn’t considered that it would be news that would have reached Kara.

“He was there for me during a very hard time in my life,” Lena says quietly, trying to gauge what Kara’s reaction. “He made me feel less alone.”

“I would have been there for you,” Kara says in a heated tone that makes Lena’s throat ache. “If you had wanted me.”

It takes Lena aback a bit and though she feels completely underprepared for this kind of emotionally charged conversation, she takes a deep breath and calls Kara over to the bed with a crook of her finger. At least this is something easier to navigate than the constant feeling of lingering dread she’s had since the warehouse. “Come here,” she says softly.

Hesitating only a moment, Kara sets the laptop down on a nearby table and moves to sit on Lena’s bed at her hip. Lena reaches out for Kara’s hands and holds them tightly, grasping at the bracelet on Kara’s wrist with her index finger.

“We’ve been over this,” she starts and Kara sighs, looks away.

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t mean it like that,” Lena says, catching Kara’s eye again. “I just mean that...I always wanted you. Even then, when I thought that...I couldn’t have you, shouldn’t have you. I wish you understood that. I didn’t stop wanting you or loving you just because we were broken up.”

Kara squeezes Lena’s fingers back and her shoulders sag a bit. “I do understand that,” she says and at Lena’s skeptical look she clarifies, “I’m trying really hard to understand that.”

“Jack was my best friend and he cared about me.” Kara watches her with an unreadable expression.

“You’re easy to care about,” Kara says softly and that alone almost breaks Lena’s fragile grip on her emotions. Everything feels so raw right now that the slightest sort of feeling is liable to set her off.

“I’m glad he’s still willing to be my friend, frankly,” she says with an ache in her chest when she thinks about her relationship with Jack. “He’s done nothing but care about me and I used him. I was so selfish. I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive myself for that.”

Kara’s brow furrows and her tone is almost defensive when she says, “I’m sure you didn’t use him.”

“I did,” Lena insists, looking at Kara with serious eyes. “I was still - so in love with you, and Jack and I dated for years and I lead him on. As if he could ever take your place. I just didn’t want to be alone and he loved me. I knew I couldn’t give him everything that he wanted. Everything he deserved.”

“Because of me?” Kara asks quietly, searching Lena’s eyes.

“The kinds of things he wanted,” Lena explains. “The sorts of things he should have gotten out of a relationship. I had already given those to you. I just didn’t have it in me to be a good girlfriend or anything else.” Lena laughs a little. “I was barely functioning as a good Luthor Corp employee, much less a romantic partner.”

Kara’s face looks a little steely at the explicit mention of her relationship with Jack, but after a moment it softens a bit. “I had a lot of failed first dates for a similar reason,” she admits, and the blush on her face charms Lena.

Lena smiles, her nose scrunching just a little. “I can’t say I’m sorry for that,” she replies with a soft laugh that Kara mimics.

“Kind of hard to top our first date anyway,” Kara says and the smile that spreads over her face is more relaxed now, warm and easy. 

Shrugging a shoulder, Lena smiles coyly. “I don’t know. I’m much more a fan of our fifth date.”

It takes a second for the memory to fully get to Kara, but when it does the faint flush in her cheeks deepens and her eyes go wide. “Lena,” she hisses as if to chastise, but Lena just laughs.

“What? Bowling? That’s hardly scandalous,” Lena teases. “What were you thinking about?”

Kara blows out an exasperated breath and rolls her eyes. “Nothing,” she sighs, but she’s still blushing. The memory of finally kissing Kara on the steps outside her dorm and then later, pushing Kara against the couch and exploring her lips more fully, does wonders to soothe the aches in her soul. As does the smile they both share as the memory passes through them.

Letting it sit there for a few comfortable beats, Lena squeezes Lena’s fingers again. “Are you okay about Jack now?”

Kara waits a moment, as if to consider before answering with a sheepish, “I’m not trying to be weird about it.”

“I know you’re not.”

“He’s just so good looking and smart and rich and British and he rescues puppies and makes prosthetics for sick children and I’m sure your mother loved him and-”

Lena laughs a bit. “How do you know all that?”

“Know what?”

“All that about Jack?” Lena clarifies.

Kara shrugs. “I don’t know. He’s been in the news, like I said.” Lena just gives her a look with a skeptical furrow of her brow until Kara adds, “And I saw that TED talk you guys did together about ethics in bioengineering.”

“You did?”

“Yeah,” Kara says looking away. “It was good.”

“Jack is a good man,” Lena says quietly with a soft smile and she tugs Kara’s hand until she’s looking at her again. “But he’s not you.”

Kara’s quiet for a bit, her lips thinly pressed together before she shakes her head and blows out a breath. “I’m not - I mean, I know that…” She pauses, collects herself. “You’re obviously entitled to date whomever you want. Especially when we weren’t even together anymore. I don’t mean to keep going around in circles about this.”

“I know it’s hard,” Lena reassures her and with a self-deprecating chuckle she adds, “I am only just starting to feel normal around James.”

Kara’s brows come together at that. “But James and I…”

“I know you don’t feel like you dated him,” Lena says. “But that doesn’t really make a difference when I think about how you almost did.” Kara makes a face, but Lena continues with a soft, “It’s not rational, but feelings rarely are.”

Silence stretches for a moment. “I really am okay that you’re friends with Jack,” she says. “If he’s important to you, then he’s important to me.”

“It’s really okay if you’re not okay with it,” Lena says and when Kara arches a brow she adds, “It wouldn’t change the fact that I’m friends with him, but I still care about how you feel about the situation. If something’s bothering you like this then we can fix it. Together. I want to know how you feel about things, even if you feel like you shouldn’t feel that way.”

When Kara smiles it’s genuine and warm. “All I feel is happy that someone was there for you when you felt like you were all alone.”

It spreads contentment across Lena’s skin and she reaches out to push Kara’s glasses up her nose from where they've started to slip down. Kara follows the motion with her eyes until they cross. “You’re very cute,” Lena observes in a quiet murmur and Kara’s blush intensifies.

“Lena,” she admonishes with a scoff as she stands up from the bed and paces over to pick her laptop back up.

“What?” Lena teases, dropping back against the bed and smiling fondly at Kara. “Can’t handle the truth, Kara Zor-El?”

Kara drops back into her chair with a roll of her eyes and props her feet back on Lena’s bed. “I’m the Girl of Steel,” she says, opening the laptop back up. “I can handle anything.”

“Everything except Corby’s thirty second wing challenge,” Lena says and Kara lets out an indignant sound as she glares at Lena.

“That challenge is rigged,” she insists, sounding just like she had in college, gulping down water cup after water cup and with sauce smeared all over her face.

“Sure,” Lena replies with an indulgent smile.

“Lex agreed with me,” Kara grumbles, eyes going back to the computer.

It flashes memory into Lena’s head and she sits up a bit, her hand brushing against her side. “Kara,” she says slowly, looking around to see if anyone else is in earshot.

Kara makes a hum of attention, but doesn’t look up from her laptop.

“When I was in the vault - or when you brought me back here I suppose...there was an envelope,” Lena tells her and that pulls Kara’s eyes up. “Tucked into my sweater.”

Kara leans over her chair into a small bag sitting there and fishes around for a bit. “This envelope?”

The same white object Lena had taken from the vault is perched between Kara’s fingers. “Yes.”

“It fell out when they were moving you around,” Kara explains, standing up again to hand it over. “Alex picked it up and gave it to me.”

Relief floods through her and she snatches the envelope from Kara’s hands, turning it over.

“What is it?” Kara asks.

Lena arches a brow. “You didn’t look?”

A slight pout forms on Kara’s lips. “I respect your privacy,” she says.

“It’s from Lex,” Lena says softly and Kara’s eyes go hard when they look back at Lena. “It was in the vault, with all the - weapons.”

“You’re sure? That it was from him I mean?”

“Yeah,” Lena breathes, nodding and looking back to the familiar scrawl of her brother’s handwriting.

“What do you think it is?”

Lena shrugs, turns it over again. It’s thin and light and she can’t make anything out through the envelope. It could just be a letter, but it could be something more. Lena’s not sure she’s prepared to know either way. “I’m not sure.”

Silence stretches for a moment before Kara asks, “Are you going to open it?”

Lena takes a deep breath. “I’m not sure,” she repeats with a little self deprecating laugh.

Kara smiles, reaches out to take Lena’s free hand in her own. “Well I’m here for you if you need me.”

--

On the morning of the second day, Alex walks into the room with three large paper bags radiating a smell that makes Lena’s mouth water. It occurs to her that she’s barely eaten apart from DEO rationed meals since she got here. A look at Kara tells her that the realization is shared.

Kara jumps up out of her chair and grabs the bags from her sister who just gives her an indulgent smile. “I see that lack of powers doesn’t equate to a lack of appetite.”

Reaching into one of the bags, Kara pulls out a packaged cheeseburger with a gleeful expression as she falls back down into her chair. “You can take away my strength, you can take away my powers, but you can’t take away my love of food,” she announces proudly as she unwraps the item in her hands and takes a huge bite.

Alex and Lena share a laugh before Alex reaches into one of the bags Kara has commandeered and pulls out a small plastic box. “Sushi for you,” she tells Lena, handing it over. Lena feels like she might cry at the mere thoughtfulness of the gesture and she curses the vulnerability of her emotions ever since the vault.

“Thanks, Alex,” she says softly, taking the food and watching as Alex pulls a chair up close to the bed and adopts a more professional expression.

Lena begins to think that the food might not be just a friendly gesture, but could also serve the purpose of softening them up for whatever it is Alex has to say. Something serious from the look on her face.

After a deep breath, Alex glances at where Kara is starting in on her second cheeseburger and says, “We need to debrief everything that happened.”

Kara straightens in her chair, eyes Lena with concerned eyes before narrowing them towards her sister. “Now?”

Alex just nods, undeterred by Kara’s glare. “We’ve put it off long enough,” she says.

“Shouldn’t we have done that right away?” Kara asks. “When everything was fresh?”

“Well, sure. Except Lena had head trauma and wasn’t really in the mood to answer any questions.” Alex sends her sister a pointed look. “Or so you kept reminding everyone that tried to talk to her yesterday.”

That seems to mollify Kara slightly, who slumps back in her chair with a shrug. Lena chuckles, charmed by the unapologetic look on Kara’s face.

“What would you like to know?” Lena asks, directing the question at Alex, but sending Kara a fond smile.

“The warehouse your mother took you to, it was one of your brother’s storehouses?”

“That’s what she told me,” Lena says with a nod.

“I guess we could start with an inventory of the space? Can you remember everything he had in there?”

The question prompts a cascade of memory and she runs a hand subconsciously over her side. She’s so overwhelmed by everything drifting back to her that she’s distracted from answering Alex’s question for long enough that Kara sits forward and sets a hand on Lena’s ankle. “Hey, you okay? You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

It startles her back to the moment and she blinks at Kara for a moment, shaking her head to clear it. “No, sorry,” she says, clearing her throat. “I’m fine. Just trying to remember everything.”

“Take your time,” Alex says kindly.

Lena goes through a list of what she can recall from the vault. Lex’s warsuit - a detail that puts both Alex and Kara on edge - the atomic axe, a handful of small grenades, some small device her mother seemed fascinated with and -

“Something called a black mercy,” Lena adds casually, but both sisters go eerily still. Alex glances at Kara, who has become stock still, and is staring steadfastly down at the third cheeseburger in her hands.

“A Black Mercy. Okay,” Alex says with a slight clear of her throat that sets Lena on edge.

“Yeah,” she answers. “Why? What is it?”

Her gaze bounces between Alex and Kara who share a significant look between each other.

“Nothing fun. It’s a good thing it was destroyed,” Alex says slowly and Lena’s eyes narrow. “Let’s hope there aren’t more out there.”

“Nothing fun?” Lena says with a skeptical arch to her brow.  

“It’s just not something we’d like to deal with,” Alex says, but her voice is hesitant as if she knows that won’t satisfy as a response. Kara is still blinking down at the ground, and she sets the cheeseburger in her hands back in the bag it came from. Kara denying herself food is confirmation enough that whatever the hell a Black Mercy is goes far beyond nothing fun.

“Kara,” Lena says, and Kara blows out a heavy breath as Lena zones in on her.

“It’s an alien parasite,” Kara tells her, fingers twisting together in front of her. Alex watches her sister with a concerned expression that makes Lena even more nervous about this Black Mercy nonsense.

“Kara was attacked by one last year,” Alex adds, finally looking at Lena. “It was used to distract her while...” Alex trails off as if she’s uncomfortable telling this story and Lena tries to think of what she could be missing, tries to remember the stories she remembers hearing about Supergirl and National City last year.

She glances at Kara just in time to catch the wince that crosses her face. “What happened? What does it do?”

“Parasite things,” Kara answers vaguely and this time Lena doesn’t suppress her scoff.

She sits up a little, eyebrows pulled together. “Feel free to clue me in on why you’re both being so evasive at any time. You know how much being kept in the dark thrills me.”

“It attaches to a host and sort of mentally imprisons them,” Alex says, looking at her sister carefully. Kara still hasn’t necessarily met anyone’s eyes.

“Mentally imprisons them?”

“It traps them in a fantasy world, basically. A world that the host desires most, and while it does that, it drains energy from them. Kara was basically comatose,” Alex explains and Lena glances to where Kara is studying the far wall, lips pressed together in a thin line. “Killing the Black Mercy kills the host. The only way to defeat it is if the host rejects the fantasy.”

“So you figured it out and rejected the fantasy?” Lena asks, trying to draw Kara’s attention back to the conversation. It doesn’t sound nearly as dangerous as some of the other things they’ve encountered nor the things Lena knows Kara’s fought before, but from the look on both sister’s faces a Black Mercy may as well be a nuclear apocalypse.

Kara turns her gaze to Lena, finally, and her blue eyes are dark, shadowed and unhappy, and a beat passes before she answers. “Sort of. Alex came in and got me.”

Lena raises a questioning brow at Alex until the older sister clarifies. “We figured out how to link up with her mentally after we realized she wasn’t coming out of it, and I just...had to convince her it wasn’t real. And then it was over.”

It’s unclear to her what’s threaded the air of unease in the room. “What was the fantasy?”

Kara’s jaw goes tight and Alex straightens, but before either of them can answer, M’gann is poking her head in the room. “Hi, Lena,” she says with a soft smile. She turns to Alex. “J’onn wants to talk to you.”

Alex looks at Kara for a moment, then Lena before deciding something with a nod. “Right, we can finish this later,” she says to Lena and retreats after M’gann.

It leaves her and Kara in the room and the unanswered question sitting between them. Lena waits silently to see if Kara will answer it, but Kara just looks around the room a bit, avoiding Lena’s gaze.

“Kara,” Lena tries slowly. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Kara says, shaking something away with her head and focusing on Lena with a smile that Lena doesn’t quite buy into. “The Black Mercy stuff just isn’t a good memory.”

“Prisons of the mind rarely are, I’d imagine,” Lena comments softly and Kara laughs a little.

“Yeah. Rejecting the fantasy was...hard.”

“Was it Krypton?” Lena ventures. “Your parents?”

Kara’s face pinches a bit and she moves to sit at the foot of Lena’s bed, her hand resting on the shape of Lena’s ankle under the blankets. “Not exactly,” she says, so carefully that realization starts to dawn on Lena.

“Oh.”

When Kara looks up it’s with a hesitant set to her mouth and worry around her eyes. “It’s not what you think,” she says hastily and Lena arches a brow.

“What do I think?”

Kara’s mouth gapes a moment as if she can’t find the words before she presses her lips into a frustrated line. “I just mean that…” Kara shakes her head and scrapes a palm down her face. “I don’t know what I mean.”

Empathy overcomes her at that point and she reaches over until she’s holding Kara’s hand. “Hey, it’s okay,” she says with an encouraging smile that finally gets Kara’s expression to soften. “I know a little bit about how sometimes the good dreams can be worse than the nightmares. Especially waking up from them.”

Kara’s eyes widen at that, her nostrils flaring in reaction before she scoots forward. “Lena,” she says softly and it pricks heat at the backs of Lena’s eyes. They do not need to go back to an emotional devastating place. Especially not right now when Lena’s just recovering from a head wound and Kara’s still weak from kryptonite poisoning.  

“That’s behind us,” she says emphatically, squeezing Kara’s fingers. “Let’s not go back there.”

Kara searches Lena’s eyes for a few seconds. “Okay,” she says slowly.

“Unless you want to talk about it,” Lena offers, but her chest already feels so tight it’s painful and all she wants to do right now is soak in the quiet pleasure of just being with Kara. Alive and whole and safe for the moment.

Kara shakes her head, scoots closer on the bed until she’s close enough to kiss Lena and she leans forward to do just that.

--

Maggie shows up later in the day looking incredibly sheepish as she returns a bag of Lena’s personal effects. “I was wrong. I’m sorry,” she offers with a shrug of her shoulder as Lena fishes her phone out and tosses the bag full of her clothes to the side.

“Don’t be,” Lena dismisses, not willing to get into anything serious with Maggie. They hardly know each other anyway and Lena’s used to the kind of suspicion she saw in Maggie’s eyes that night in her office. “You were doing your job. If anyone understands that, it’s me.”

Maggie glances to where Kara is pacing outside the room, phone at her ear. “I’m not so sure Kara agrees with you.”

It makes Lena laugh a bit, affection and exasperation in the sound. “Kara doesn’t always understand how these things work,” she says and it comes out a little cynical around the edges.

Maggie quirks a brow, her lips pursed a moment. “Yeah, but Alex does and she wasn’t too happy with me either.”

Lena feels her throat go a little thick with emotion, but she plays it off with a soft smile and another chuckle. “The Danvers sisters,” she says sagely.

“Yeah,” Maggie agrees with her own smile.

Lena glances to where Alex is approaching Kara outside the room and remembers something Alex had said years ago. “They should come with a warning,” she adds.

It makes Maggie laugh just as Kara and Alex enter the room, Alex eying them both warily like she’s not sure what she’s walking into. Kara doesn’t come too close to Maggie, but winds her way over to Lena’s bed and plops down on the side of it, effectively blocking Lena from where Maggie’s standing. Lena can’t help but smile at the protective way Kara crosses her arms over her chest and glances at Maggie with a distrustful expression.

“Kara,” Maggie says, and Kara hums, a wary look on her face. “Thanks for not throwing me into space.”

Somehow, Alex finds this hilarious, because she bursts into laughter, and Lena finds herself joining the sound. Kara mostly looks sheepish, but nods anyway, clearly picking up the apology underneath the words.

--

After some amount of negotiating and after Lena starts to feel strong enough to get out of bed without feeling dizzy or faint - the cut on her temple finally healing over - Alex releases Kara and Lena from the DEO. They take a regulation black van to Kara’s apartment only after Lena realizes there's probably press or worse camped outside her building.

She did break out of jail after all.

Exhaustion is still thrumming across her skin and she can tell Kara isn’t much better. Sleeping at a secret government base for two days will do that to a person. They lean against each other as they make their way as stealthily as possible into Kara’s building and find their way up to her apartment.

“Tired?” Kara asks, her arm around Lena’s waist as they step inside. Kara drops the duffel bag hanging off her shoulder onto the ground inside the doorway and Lena disengages from her hold to head towards the kitchen.

“Tell me you have some kind of wine in here,” Lena says and Kara laughs slightly.

There is indeed a bottle of wine on Kara’s kitchen counter, but Kara plucks it out of her hands before she can open it. “You shouldn’t drink,” Kara points out with a light, barely there tap to her head.

Lena sighs, but is grateful for the reminder. “I feel like I could sleep for a week,” she says with a hint of complaint. “How is that even possible when sleeping is all I feel like I’ve been doing?”

“I know what you mean,” Kara says, sagging back against the counter and taking a deep breath.

Lena steps in close, traces a finger across Kara’s brow. “How are you feeling? Still…” Lena makes a gesture with her hand that Kara seems to understand. She’s once again reminded of how the astronomy club had made a no charades rule two months into their freshman year for half a second, and it makes her smile, sinking in closer to Kara.

Shrugging a shoulder, Kara just thins her lips a moment. “Yeah,” she responds. “But better I think. Stronger.”

“Yeah?” Lena asks.

Kara shrugs again, reaches out to put two hands on Lena’s hips and lifts until Lena’s feet leave the ground. She lets out a surprised sound, but smiles. It looks easy from Lena’s perspective, but she can tell it’s not as easy for Kara as usual by the way her lips twist in displeasure.

“They’ll come back,” Lena reassures her, falling forward against Kara’s body until their hips are slotting together and her arms wrap around Kara’s neck.

“Not fast enough,” Kara complains and Lena laughs softly, charmed by the pout forming on Kara’s lips.

Instead of responding, Lena just noses forward until their lips connect, drawing strength from the powerful feel of kissing a woman she’s loved for years. Kara feels alive and warm and solid in her arms and it does more to heal any aches and pains than a month in the DEO medical facility ever could.

Kara tugs her in close, still lifted up off the ground and smiles against Lena’s mouth, her fingers sliding from Lena’s hips to the small of her back, up under the soft sweatshirt she’d worn home from the DEO. “We should probably go to bed,” Kara says with an exaggerated amount of seriousness in her voice, but she doesn’t stop kissing Lena, soft presses between words.

“Is that so?” Lena asks with a teasing quirk of her brow. Kara begins to back them up in the direction of the bedroom.

“We’re recovering,” Kara answers with a nod. “Didn’t Alex say we needed lots of rest?”

Lena laughs. “I can, with some measure of certainty, say that Alex would not approve of what you have in mind.”

Kara’s nose scrunches up, but she smiles. “How do you know what I have in mind?”

Both of Lena’s eyebrows raise this time and she makes a glance over her shoulder to where one of Kara’s hands has left the other to wander below the waistband of Lena’s jeans. “I think I have some idea.”

Kara concedes the point with a half roll of her eyes and a laugh as she walks them into the bedroom. “I know we’re both way too tired for anything,” she admits and Lena feels the truth of that in the back of her eyes. “But I also know that nothing would feel better to me right now than you and me and that bed for at least six hours. Even if it’s just sleeping.”

“It’s the middle of the afternoon,” Lena protests lightly with a short laugh that Kara shrugs off.

“Do you actually care?” Kara asks with a self assured cock of her eyebrow that melts something in Lena’s gut.

“I care about my sleep schedule,” she says half-heartedly. Kara’s hands feel hot and full of intent on her back.

“All I care about right now is you,” Kara says with a sincerity that’s always weakened Lena.

The backs of her legs hit the edge of Kara’s bed and she feels a swell of emotion bubble up in her chest. The memory of the encounter with her mother, of the cold back of the van, the jail, the way Kara looked writhing on the floor in pain and how close both of them came to death comes spiraling back into her brain threatening to take over. She shakes the thoughts out of her head and focuses on the blue of Kara’s eyes, her hands clutching at Kara’s cheeks as she leans forward and kisses her again.

“I love you,” she murmurs against Kara’s mouth and Kara smiles wide and easy.

“I love you too,” Kara says and Lena can’t stop the heat at the back of her eyes.

“I’m so sorry she tried to-”

Kara cuts her off with a quiet shushing and a finger at her lips. “Hey, don’t think about that,” she says softly and she lowers them both onto the mattress. “We’re both here and we’re both okay.”

“Yeah,” Lena says, but she chokes a little on the word, her throat feeling scratchy with the sudden influx of emotion.

“I won’t let her hurt you,” Kara adds with quiet conviction.

Lena shakes her head, her fingers reaching out to tangle with Kara’s. “No, I won’t let her hurt you,” she clarifies and before Kara can say anything else, Lena moves forward and silences her with a kiss.

It’s like all the adrenaline and emotion and despair of the past few days catches up with her all at once now that she’s safe and far from prying eyes and Kara’s kiss swallows a sob that threatens to break through. Her chest feels like it’s cracking and she doesn’t want to cry, but she is nonetheless.

“Hey,” Kara says softly, swiping tears away with her thumb. “You’re okay, everything’s okay.”

Lena knows that, intellectually at least. Everything is as okay as it can be for the moment, but she can’t get the image of her mother’s face out of her mind, the cold way she observed Lena in the back of the van and how no matter how hard she tries she can’t stop that tiny part of her that will always seek affection from a woman that’s been nothing but cold to her all her life.

“I’m sorry,” Lena says, squeezing her eyes shut to try and stop them from leaking.

“Don’t be sorry,” Kara says, hands still at Lena’s checks. “You can cry if you need to.”

“I don’t want to,” Lena replies and she lets out a watery laugh.

“We just went through a lot of stuff,” Kara tells her. “Give yourself a second to break down.”

Lena takes a deep shaky breath. “It might take more than a second,” she admits and Kara smiles, pushing forward until they’re falling onto the bed and Kara’s pulling her closer.

“Take all the seconds you need,” she tells Lena, pressing a warm solid kiss to her forehead. “I’ll be here.”

Lena pushes her face against Kara’s neck and lets herself fall apart.

--

It’s Kara’s birthday.

Or at least her Earth Birthday, as she had always referred to it, and Lena’s trying really hard to just forget that fact, but the minute she recognizes the date glaring at her from the calendar on her computer she remembers. She remembers Kara bouncing into her dorm room with a half-bag of marshmallows, smelling like the woods, telling Lena all about how much fun they had, how much Kara had missed her, how she should come next year -

It’s been over two years since she last saw Kara, but as she sits here at her desk and stares at the date on the screen her chest aches just as much as it did the day she left her.

All day, it’s nearly impossible to escape thoughts about what Kara is doing, if she’s with Alex, if they’re having fun, if someone made her a cake, if Kara’s happy. On her lunch break, for an anxious moment she considers searching Kara’s name just to see if anything will come up.

The thoughts bombard her so quickly that her eyes start to sting a little with heat and she nearly slams her laptop shut when the door to her office opens unexpectedly and Jack walks through.

He comes up short at the sound of her slapping a hand on her computer and eyes her with a half-grin on his face and a laugh dropping out of it. “Looking at pornography in the workplace, Lena? How scandalous.”

The levity of the comment helps her regain some kind of composure and she manages an eyeroll and a short chuckle. “Honestly, Jack.”

“You okay?” He asks as he comes forward and drops into one of her office chairs, legs crossing. There’s still an easy smile on his face, but his eyes narrow a bit as he regards her and she imagines he can see more than most people even if he can’t see it all.

“Of course,” she answers, straightening with a slight clear of her throat and shuffling papers on her desk. “You just surprised me.”

“I came to take you out to lunch,” he tells her, still looking at her as if there’s something to figure out. “I thought maybe we could do some preparation for dinner with your mother tonight. Perhaps tonight is the night I come up with a satisfactory answer about my company’s five year plan.”

The reminder of their evening plans makes her head drop back a little as she lets out an exhausted breath. She had completely forgotten. “Just what my day needs,” she mumbles.

“Long day already? It’s just past noon.”

Her elbow props up on her desk and she lets her head fall onto her palm as she gives Jack a soft tired smile. “I’m beginning to think that my life is just a series of long days, one after the other.”

He laughs at that. “That’s what vodka is for, love,” he says with a grin that eases some of the ache in Lena’s chest, but only some.

“Indeed,” she agrees. “Please point me in the direction of this vodka.”

He stands and rounds her desk to extend his hand. “Gladly.”

They’re nearly done with their three-martini lunch when Jack gets a more serious look on his face and regards her over the rim of his glass. “Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?”

“Talk about what?” Lena asks, stabbing at her salad with a fork and quirking her brow at him.

“Whatever has you so somber today?”

She startles at that and attempts to laugh him off, but his expression doesn’t waver. “I’m not somber today.”

“Lena, I’m here for you if you want to talk about anything or if you want to rant or cry or-”

“Jack, I’m fine,” Lena interrupts a little more forceful than necessary as she drops her silverware onto her plate. The last thing she needs right now is to talk about anything. In fact, being with Jack is proving a perfect distraction that confronting her emotions would only destroy. She doesn’t need to expose that part of her heart right now. Especially when they’re facing dinner with her mother later that evening.

“Is it seeing your mother tonight? Because we can cancel or-”

“What part of I’m fine are you not understanding?” The look on his face seems undeterred by the steel in her voice and she’s a little surprised. Most people cow under one glare from her or a sharp word, but Jack merely continues to stare at her as if his expression alone will convince her to soften.

Little does he know that there’s really only one person in the world that’s capable of doing that and she’s halfway across the country doing who knows what. Hopefully waking up to a bright sun and having a good Earth birthday.

Or maybe Jack does know that and that’s why he’s looking at her like she needs a shoulder to cry on.

“You can be not fine with me,” he says quietly and she sighs, looking down at her salad for a moment.

Absently, she rubs at the bare skin of her wrist and takes a deep breath. “Can I just be not fine later?” She asks when she finally picks her eyes back up from the table. “Tonight, after I’ve already dealt with whatever I’ve done to disappoint my mother this time and I’ve had at least an entire bottle of overpriced wine?”

Jack looks at her for a moment longer, seems to consider that while taking another sip of his drink. “Of course,” he says quietly but with a kind smile. “We can get ice cream.”

“No,” she says sharply because all ice cream makes her think of is Kara and if three drinks at lunch can make her eyes this watery at just the passing thought of her than she doesn’t need that after an entire dinner with her mother.

Concern etches back into Jack’s expression at that, but he remains quiet as she manages a soft smile.

“I wouldn’t say no to a late night brandy alexander.”

He laughs and Lena loves him for the smile on his face. “Ice cream drinks,” he says. “I think I can make that happen.”

--

Eventually, after Lena feels all her tears have been exhausted and Kara’s held onto her and cried as well, they both fall into a deep sleep, entwined with each other. When Lena wakes up, she feels more rested than the entirety of her stay in the DEO medical bay.

Kara is draped over her side, anchoring her onto the mattress and snoring softly against Lena’s collarbone. It’s still dark outside and a quick glance at the clock on the bedside table tells her it’s late into the evening. Their sleep schedules are entirely ruined, but Lena can’t find it in herself to care. The nap was certainly cathartic, if the relaxed way her chest feels is any indication.

Knowing she won’t be able to move as long as Kara’s passed out on top of her, she wakes her up with soft strokes of Kara’s hair, a light scratching against her scalp until Kara’s shifting and mumbling her way into consciousness.

“Time is it?” Kara murmurs, scooting closer to Lena as she starts to wake up. Her face presses down into Lena’s neck, her lips moving against the skin there.

“Late,” Lena answers quietly, pressing a kiss to the crown of Kara’s head. Kara burrows closer somehow, her arm slinging across Lena’s waist and slipping up under her shirt, tracing the skin of her hip.

“M’hungry,” is the next thing Kara says that’s halfway understandable.

Lena laughs. “You’re always hungry, darling.”

Kara doesn’t deny it, just picks her head up to smile at Lena before moving off of her to roll onto her side, elbow propping her up against the mattress. “How are you doing?”

Lena traces her fingers down Kara’s jaw lightly. “I’m okay,” she tells her and Kara smiles.

“Good,” Kara says with a definitive nod, her palm sliding over Lena’s stomach warmly. “Do you know what would make you even better right now?”

A laugh skips up her throat. “I’m guessing it’s food related.”

Kara’s eyes light up and a teasing grin catches on her face before she presses a quick kiss to Lena’s cheek and then vaults over her out of bed. “It’s food!”

Laughing at Kara’s sudden enthusiasm, Lena can’t do much else but follow Kara towards the kitchen.

--

They find something to cook in Kara’s kitchen quite easily. The cabinets are all stocked to their maximum threshold and Lena makes a mental note to go grocery shopping for her own apartment later that week.

It feels comfortable to lay out the necessary ingredients and find the correct cookware to make their dinner. She and Kara move around each other with the ease of two people used to being in the same space together.

Until Kara cuts herself while chopping an onion and stares at her hand for a few seconds in fascination before yelping so loudly that Lena nearly cuts her own hand. “Kara, what the hell?” Lena says, bringing a hand to her chest.

Suddenly a palm is shoved in front of Lena’s eyeline and after her vision focuses she sees bright red blood pouring out of a small cut there. “Lena, I’m bleeding,” she says and it comes out with a kind of pained wonderment that Lena almost understands.

She’s never actually seen Kara bleed this close up before and it reminds her of the trickle of blood she caught sight of after Metallo blasted Kara with a ray of his kryptonite. It takes her a good few seconds to even register what she’s looking at.