24. CHAPTER 24
CHAPTER 24
At Station 19, Lieutenant Andy Herrera is sitting behind the front desk looking over a bunch of papers she has complied to pitch her big idea to Travis who is waiting patiently by the desk. He was more than happy to listen to Andy’s big idea if it meant getting out of early morning cleaning.
Andy takes a breath and flips through some pages to get things in order. “So…you know that I’ve been looking for something to concentrate on during my pregnancy.”
Travis nods his head and sighs, a tad sarcastically. “You’ve mentioned it once or twice.”
“I want to start something important that I can continue on after the baby is born.” Andy continues on as she flips through some of her papers.
“I think that’s great…what do you got?” Travis asks.
Andy takes a steadying breath and places her hands down on the desk. “Do you remember when Sullivan put me on that recruitment assignment when he was captain?”
Travis snorts immediately. “I remember you cursing under your breath at the assignment.”
“At first I was annoyed at…well him…” Andy sighs.
“Valid.” Travis chirps.
“But...recruitment is actually something I am good at.” Andy says with a confident smile on her face. “I want to do more of it.”
“Like through the academy?” Travis questions.
“No.” Andy says with a shake of her head before she holds up one of the papers. “I want to start a youth program that focuses on inspiring kids to become first responders.”
Travis looks at the first paragraph of the proposal and stutters out awkwardly. “Uhh…”
“I want to provide firefighting and resilience programs for teenagers in underserved neighborhoods with an emphasis on young girls.” Andy goes on to explain. “We can really help some of these tough neighborhoods in Seattle by helping teenagers become active participants in their communities.”
“Uhhh….” Travis stutters out for the second time.
“What do you think?” Andy asks with a final breath…hoping for good feedback.
Travis nose scrunches in disdain. “You lost me at teenagers.”
“Montgomery.” Andy grumbles.
Travis rolls his eyes and takes the proposal out of Andy’s hand to take a closer look. “Do we have to do it at the high school?”
“Yes Travis…that’s where the teenagers live.” Andy chirps back.
“I hated high school.” Travis huffs dramatically.
Andy rolls her eyes and shakes her head. “You know you don’t have to go back to high school, right?”
“I’m breaking out.” Travis whines as his hands instantly start rubbing his neck. “I can feel it.”
“Okay….” Andy drawls before she points back at her friend. “You might be the wrong person for this job.”
As Travis continues to look around his arms for hives Maya comes walking in through the front door with Ginny in her arms. She looks over and sees her two friends at the desk. “Hey.”
“Cap!” Travis yells out at Bishop with a wave of his hand. “How do you feel about teenagers?”
“Eck.” Maya mutters as she adjusts Ginny in her arms.
Andy rolls her eyes yet again and places the papers down o n the desk. “I’ll keep looking.”
“I’m kidding.” Maya says with a chuckle as she looks back to her friend. “You know I stand behind your initiative, 100 percent.”
Andy can’t help but smile back at her best friend. “Thanks Cap.”
“Ginny!” Travis cheers out finally noticing the tiny brunette in the captain’s arms. “What is she doing here?”
Maya sighs and sets the diaper bag down on the ground next to her feet. “It’s a long story.”
“I’m guessing dinner did not go well last night.” Andy says as she and Travis walk over.
“It did not.” Maya sighs as she gently takes Ginny’s spring jacket off of her.
“Look at how cute she is!” Travis exclaims happily at the cute baby before turning back to Herrera. “Why can’t we do something with babies?”
Andy rolls her eyes and playfully slaps Montgomery’s arm. “Oh my god.”
“Do you wanna see Uncle Travis?” Travis asks as he holds out his hands to Ginny who immediately leans forward and lands into his hands. Travis smiling widely adjusts the little girl in his arms. “Hi Peanut.”
Andy reaches over to rub the little girl’s back before turning back to Maya. “What happened?”
“Yea, what dinner?” Travis asks…clearly out of the loop.
Maya sighs again and runs her hand through her blonde loose curls. “Carina’s father is in town and things have been…rocky.”
“Really?” Travis asks…suddenly intrigued. “Where does he fall in the Station 19 crappy fathers’ spectrum?”
“I’m not ranking my wife’s father.” Maya snips back.
Travis winces and bounces Ginny in her arms. “So, getting up to the Lane Bishop range....got it.”
“Carina needed some time to think and she wants to do some errands.” Maya says.
Andy nods her head knowingly. “She does like to do that when she has a lot on her mind.”
“She does.” Maya says with a firm nod of the head. “I like to run on the treadmill and my wife likes to spend 2 hours looking at cheese.”
Travis clicks his tongue against his teeth. “Interesting.”
“Carina asked if I could keep Ginny with me today.” Maya says before smiling back at the little girl who turns to her mommy when she hears her name. “She wants Ginny to remain close to us with everything going on.”
“That makes sense.” Andy says as she again runs her hand over Ginny’s brown locks. “What are you going to do if there’s a call?”
“I told Captain Bishop that I would go out on any calls today.” Chief Sullivan answers instead, hearing the question as he walks down the stairs.
Travis raises his eyebrows. “Throwback.”
“Thank you again Chief.” Maya says to her boss, sincerely grateful for the help.
“Of course.” Sullivan says to Maya before turning to Andy. “Can we talk later?”
Andy nods her head. “Sure.”
“Thank you.” Sullivan replies back before heading towards the barn. One he has disappeared into the other room a collective gasp is heard among the three firefighters.
“Oh god.” Andy mutters.
Maya tilts her head at Herrera. “Are you okay?”
“Peachy.” Andy says with her plastered on smile before taking a steadying breath. “Can I address the team about my idea for the mentorship program?”
“Absolutely.” Maya says with a firm nod of her head. “I think it’s great…you’ve always been really good at seeing possible talent.”
“Well, I’ll need help.” Andy says before shooting Travis a tiny playful glare.
“I’ll hand out flyers…from a distance.” Travis says as he starts to walk away with Ginny still in his arms.
“How can you hand out flyers from a distance?” Andy asks the man as she follows him away from the entrance.
“Hey!” Maya calls out after two firefighters who are disappearing with her kid. “Where are you going?!”
Travis yells out over his shoulder. “We’re gonna go steal cookies from C-shift’s locker!”
“Not too many cookies Montgomery!” Maya calls back…on deaf ears.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Meanwhile over at SFD headquarters, Dr. Diane Lewis is sitting in her office doings some paperwork in between calls. She flips through her latest case when a tall brunette walks up to her open door and hesitantly knocks at the door frame to get her attention.
“Hello.” Carina says as she hesitantly steps into the office. “Dr. Lewis?”
“Hello.” Diane says back to the woman at the door. “Is there something I can help you with?”
Carina manages to put a smile on her face through the nerves. “I’m Carina DeLuca…you know my wife Captain Maya Bishop.”
“Yes…of course.” Diane says with a smile on her face as she stands up from her chair. “It is really nice to finally meet you.”
“You too.” Carina replies back before waving her hand around. “Is this a bad time?”
“Not at all.” Diane says say she notices the woman start to fidget nervously at the door. “How can I help you?”
Carina swallows the lump in her throat and exhales a small breath. “Umm…do you have a moment to talk with me?”
“Of course.” Diane says firmly as she waves Carina into her office. “Come on in.”
“Thank you.” Carina says back as she closes the door behind her before walking over to Diane’s desk.
“Have a seat.” Diane says as she motions towards the chair in front of her desk. She watches as the doctor takes a seat. “How have you been doing?”
Carina smiles back appreciatively…knowing that she is referring to the accident. “My recovery is going really well.”
“That’s good.” Diane says back.
“I heard that you talked with Maya while I was unconscious…helped keep her calm.” Carina says with a small smile. “Thank you.”
“I was happy to help.” Diane replies back before a smirk takes over her face. “You have had quite the impact on Captain Bishop.”
“She’s had quite the impact on me.” Carina chuckles lightly before going quiet at her seat as she looks around nervously.Diane sees the familiar far off gaze and can’t help but chuckle.
“What?” Carina asks confused.
Diane still smirking sits back in her chair. “I see it now.”
“You see what?” Carina asks…still confused.
“You have the look.” Diane says as she points her pointer finger up at Carina.
Carina shakes her head. “I don’t understand.”
“You have the same look that the firefighters at Station 19 have when they want to talk to me…but they don’t want to talk to me.” Diane says knowingly. “What’s up?”
Carina sighs and starts to fidget with her hands. “I know that I’m not a firefighter, but…”
“You are part of the Station 19 family…good enough for me.” Diane retorts.
“Are you sure?” Carina asks.
Diane nods her head. “What’s up Dr. DeLuca.”
“Carina…please.” Carina corrects her.
“Of course.” Diane says before placing her hand on her chest. “Diane.”
Carina smiles back and takes a moment to figure out what she wants to say. “I know you can’t talk about it but I’m guessing you are aware of the issues my wife has with her father.”
“We’ve talked.” Diane replies with a nod of her head.
“I also have issues with my father…it’s one of the things we’ve connected on.” Carina says as she starts to explain where she is coming from. “I mean it took a long time for her to acknowledge some things and…everything.”
“It’s not an easy thing to do.” Diane says.
Carina nods her head and exhales a heavy breath. “I have spent years working through trauma that I experienced as a kid or even as an adult due to my father’s maniac episodes.”
“Your father is bipolar?” Diane asks.
“Yes…my little brother was too.” Carina says with a sad smile as she leans back in her chair before running her hands over her face. “And I’ve been replaying certain moments in my head and I can’t get them to shut off…and I am constantly worrying about the future.”
Diane crosses her hands on her desk before tilting her head. “May I ask what recently has happened to make you think about these experiences?”
“My father is in town…showed up out of nowhere.” Carina says.
“That’ll do it.” Diane chirps.
“Yea.” Carina drawls out through a slight chuckle before continuing. “I told him about Ginny…my daughter.”
Diane smiles and nods her head. “The adoption…congratulations.”
“Thank you.” Carina says back with a quick smile at the congratulations. She takes a second to bask in that good feeling before going back to her father. “He was fine one moment and then…snapped. Which is pretty much his thing.”
Diane takes this in before replying. “People with bipolar often times can have delayed reactions to stressful or complicated news.”
“I know, I know.” Carina sighs as she runs her fingers through her hair. “He also has had more lows than highs lately.”
“That can be difficult.” Diane agrees.
“When his mood is high….he’s high.” Carina explains as she holds up her hand. “And when he’s low…he is scary low.”
“Does he understand this about himself?” Diane asks…trying to get a better picture of the situation.
Carina shakes her head sadly. “He contributes it to his Italian blood…he looks at it as passion, always has.”
“How does that make you feel?” Diane asks.
“Frustrated….aggravated.” Carina then mutters out.
“Mmmmm.” Diane hums back.
“My father is one of the most brilliant humans I have ever known…so it aggravates me that he won’t get help.” Carina says as her frustrations start to bubble up to the surface. “It is frustrating that he won’t even say the word bipolar.”
“What about your brother?” Diane asks.
Carina sighs sadly at the mention of her beloved Andrea. “It was tough…but he eventually got the help he needed.”
Diane nods her head before encouraging the other woman to continue. “And how was his quality of life after?”
“He was doing really well up until the end….which I think makes his death and everything so much more painful.” Carina says as she can feel herself getting chocked up.
Diane seeing this pushes the tissue box closer to Carina in case she needs them. “How did your father react when your brother sought out treatment?”
“My dad thinks I pressured or guilted Andrea in getting help.” Carina explains as she grabs a tissue to dab at her eyes. “He really hated that my brother started taking medication.”
“And now with your brother being gone…I’m sure it has brought up other dynamics to your relationship with your dad.” Diane ventures.
“He loved my brother….because he reminded him of himself.” Carina continues to explain. “I remind him of my mother…he sees me as nagging, and controlling.”
“Were your parents separated?” Diane asks.
“Since I was a teenager.” Carina nods her head in reply. “My brother went to the states with my mother and I stayed in Italy with my dad.”
This catches Diane off guard. “Wow.”
“I’ve seen the good and the bad…it wasn’t always easy.” Carina says with a sad smile.
“What about now?” Diane asks as she waves her hand a bit in front of her. “You said you have acknowledged the emotional toll it took on you as a child. How are things different now?”
“I have chosen to keep my distance from my father…for the most part.” Carina answers.
“Okay...so again….” Diane says as she gently prods Carina to go deeper. “What’s different now?”
Carina’s mouth drops open, not entirely sure how to answer this until the light bulb goes off in her head. “Ginny.”
“Ahh.”
Carina nods her head before shrugging her shoulders. “I want her to know her family…I want her to see the kind and compassionate man her nonno can be.”
“That makes sense.” Diane says back.
“But I also want to protect her from the bad moments, you know.” Carina says as she tries to shake away new tears from falling. “I don’t want her to suffer through things like I did.”
“Is there a scenario where both can happen?” Diane asks.
The suggestion catches Carina by surprise. “I don’t know.”
“It sounds like to me that there is a possibility of both of those things happening.” Diane says before shrugging her shoulders. “Sometimes you can have both.”
“Ginny is my priority.” Carina states plainly.
“Of course.” Diane says back as she continues on with her thought. “And you don’t have to set anything in stone. What works today might not work tomorrow…and that is up to you, you get to decide.”
Carina exhales a breath. “That’s true.”
Diane offers her a soft smile. “Maybe….you can still have a relationship with your dad and also set clear and necessary boundaries.”
“Yea.” Carina sighs as he again leans back in her chair. She takes a moment to think over everything that was discussed before smiling a grateful smile over at the brilliant woman in front of her. “I can see why Station 19 likes and respects you so much.”
Diane can’t help but laugh out loud. “The feeling is mutual.”
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Later on back at Station 19, Maya Bishop is sitting at her desk scrolling through the dozens of emails she gets a day. She replies quickly to a couple of the urgent ones and then moves on to some paperwork in manila files hat need her signatures. Maya keeps expecting Andy and Travis to bring back Ginny but can only assume that the firefighters are eating up the quality time they are getting with the delightful and incredibly cute little girl. The captain applies her signature when there is a knock at the door and Firefighter Cutler appears.
“Captain you have a visitor.” Cutler informs the woman.
Maya not looking up from her files respond to the firefighter as she keeps working. “Thanks Cutler.”
“Hello Maya!”
Maya’s eye shoot open at the familiar voice and she finally looks up to see her father in law standing in her doorway. “Dr. DeLuca.”
“Yes, it is me.” Vincenzo says as he begins to take off his jacket.
“What is happening?” Maya whispers to herself in shock before addressing the man standing in front of her. “Uhhhh…how did you find me?”
“I have successfully built a blastocyst with my own hands.” Vincenzo says as he steps closer to
Maya at her desk. “I know how to use Google.”
“Oh.” Maya mutters quietly as she stands up from her chair and runs her hands over her uniform.
Vincenzo begins to look around the office. “This is very nice.”
“Thank you.” Maya says back…awkwardly.
Vincenzo keeps examining the space before nodding his head back towards the barn. “The fire trucks are over there?”
“Yes.” Maya answers.
Vincenzo nods his head and waves his hand around. “And you are in charge of it all.”
“I am.” Maya says slowly.
Vincenzo can’t help but stick out his bottom lip. “Impressive.”
Maya squints her eyes at the man, confused at what his game is. “Thank you.”
“Hey! Cap!” Travis calls out as he rushes towards Maya’s office from the hallway.
Maya looks around the man in front of her to look towards the door. “What’s up Montgomery?”
Travis jogs into the office but stops in his tracks when he sees that Maya is not alone. “Oh, I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“This is Carina’s father Dr. Vincenzo DeLuca.” Maya informs Montgomery as her eyes pop open.
“Wow.” Travis chirps out before waving awkwardly at Vincenzo. “Hello…Travis Montgomery.”
Vincenzo greets the younger man politely. “Hello.”
Travis with wide eyes stares at the man for another moment before looking around to speak to his boss. “Uhh…diaper bag?”
“Over there.” Maya says as she points to the bag sitting on the counter by the door. “Does she need to be changed? Do you want me to come up?”
“We got her….no worries.” Travis reassures the woman as grabs the diaper bag before slipping the strap of the bag over his shoulder. “It was nice meeting you Dr. DeLuca.”
“Yes, nice to meet you.” Vincenzo says back as he watches Travis leave the office before turning back to his daughter-in-law. “The baby’s here.”
Maya nods her head carefully. “She is.”
“Where is Carina?” Vincenzo asks.
“She’s running some errands and doing some things for work.” Maya answers.
“Oh.” Vincenzo replies back quietly before pointing his finger towards the stairs. “Could I maybe go up and see--”
Maya cuts him off tiredly. “Look…Dr.DeLuca--”
“I told you to call me Vincenzo.” Vincenzo cuts in.
“You might think differently after hearing what I have to say to you.” Maya bites back before staring down the tall Italian man in front of her. “Dr. DeLuca.”
Vincenzo sighs…knowing that he is in for it. “Alright.”
“I do not appreciate the fact that you came into my home and berated my wife at the dinner table.” Maya says sternly to the man.
Vincenzo shrugs it off dismissively. “These things happen from time to time.”
“Yea….that’s kind the problem.” Maya chirps.
Vincenzo waves his hand around in the air. “You do not understand our family…what we’ve been through.”
“Did you tell my wife that her brother deserved to live instead of her?” Maya asks with her classic no nonsense face. “That it was her fault that he died?”
“I was having a bad day…and I lashed out irrationally.” Vincenzo explains embarrassed.
Maya chuckles sarcastically. “That sounds like a really crappy excuse to me.”
“It’s not an excuse…it is simply the reason why.” Vincenzo says back.
Maya shakes her head and tilts her head. “Ballpark…how many times have you taken out your bad days on your daughter?”
“We are a complicated family.” Vincenzo bites back feeling attacked.
“Carina holds a lot of guilt over what happened with Andrew.” Maya says before crossing her arms across her chest. “So the fact that her father…piles on to that really pisses me off.”
Vincenzo shakes his head and holds up his finger. “I do not blame that part on Carina….that crazy woman and the man with the knife is to blame.”
“Carina did everything she could for Andrew that…she gave him everything she had in order to take care of him, in order to protect him.” Maya says as she tries to keep her emotions in check…feeling like at any moment she could snap over the treatment of her wife. “And when he died….I can still hear the sound she made when they told us…it’s pierced into my mind.”
When Altman and Hunt told them that Andrew was alive in the chapel, the relief from Carina could be felt radiating form her body….she was so happy. She and Carina went to take just a quick little break and get freshened up when the worst happened. The second Carina saw Altman...she knew her baby brother was gone. She knew he was gone and she screamed in agony. All Maya could do was sit with her on the floor and hold on.
Vincenzo again sighs. “I did not mean that she should have died instead of him...that is certainly not what I meant.”
“But it’s what you said….to your grieving daughter.” Maya bites back bitterly as she is brought back to that horrific time right after Andrew’s death. “She walked around like a zombie for weeks….she would sit alone in our shower for hours.”
“I am not a perfect man….and I can get emotional and heated.” Vincenzo tries to explain, his actions before defending himself. “But I am not a cruel man.”
“You may not be a cruel man…but your behavior at times is cruel.” Maya says back…not letting him off the hook for his behavior.
Vincenzo looks around to avoid Maya’s harsh gaze before waving his hand around. “I came here to try to mend some…uhh…you know…”
“Fences.” Maya says helping him out impatiently.
Vincenzo nods his head. “Si…fences.”
“Carina is the best person I have ever met….she is the best mother I have ever met.” Maya states firmly.
“That does not surprise me.” Vincenzo says.
Maya shakes her head as her fire starts to come to the surface. “And the fact that you had the nerve to tell us that we aren’t her mothers.”
“I was angry.” Vincenzo says as he tries to explain his side. “Carina should have told me about the baby sooner.”
Maya laughs back bitterly. “She was scared…she is constantly scared to tell you things.”
“My daughter is tougher than you are giving her credit for.” Vincenzo retorts.
“I know that your daughter is tough!” Maya snaps loudly…finally cracking. “She has had to be!”
“Are you done?” Vincenzo asks.
“From the moment we found out about Ginny, Carina has been there…she has given everything to that little girl…just like she did with Andrew.” Maya goes on to explain through a hated breath. “And it hasn’t been an easy road…I mean the adoption ceremony was in the hospital.”
This immediately catches the man’s attention and he steps closer to the desk. “Why was the adoption ceremony at the hospital?”
“Because your daughter almost died! A truck barreled into the hospital and her body was crushed…she needed brain surgery and we didn’t know if she was going to wake up!” Maya yells out as she waves her arms around in the air…finally fully snapping under the weight of everything.
“What did you just say?!” Vincenzo asks through his own raised voice….worry clearly evident in his tone.
Maya’s eyes go wide and she immediately knows she screwed up. “Ohh crap.”
“You just said that Carina almost died.” Vincenzo says with a point of his finger.
“I did…” Maya drawls through clenched teeth.
Vincenzo stares at the woman in a daze before quickly turning around to leave. “I have got to go.”
“Wait!” Maya calls out to get him to stop but Vincenzo walks right out of the station. Once the door closes Maya feeling the gravity of the situation puts her hand on her forehead. “Crap!”
Dispatch: Engine 19, Ladder 19, Aid Car 19. Auto Collision, Packer Avenue. Fire on Scene.
“Ahhh Crap!” Maya yells out even louder as she can see her firefighters rush in to the barn to get to the rigs. She quickly steps out of her office just in time to see Travis running towards her with confused Ginny his arms.
“Here you go!” Travis says as he quickly hands the baby over to Maya.
Maya smiles at Ginny before letting out a long breath. “Thanks.”
“Bye Ginny!” Travis calls back before heading in to the barn where everybody is getting on the rigs.
Maya walks over to the barn and watches the firefighters get ready to leave as Ginny tries to put the rest of the cookie she was holding into her mommy’s mouth. “Mmmmmm….thank you.”
“Mmm-a.” Ginny gurgles happily with a face full of chocolate.
Maya laughs at her daughter and gently wipes some leftover chocolate off her face. “Let’s get you cleaned up….and then we’ll text Mama and give her a heads up that Mommy has a big mouth.”
“Mm-aa!” Ginny cheers loudly.
Maya grumbles and shakes her head as they head up the stairs. “You’re right…she already knows.”
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Back at the apartment Carina is sitting on the floor in the hallway next to Ginny’s room surrounded by clothes and toys. After she got done talking with Diane, she headed to the grocery store, dry cleaners, and post office. When she got back to the apartment all she could remember was the argument she had with her father and needed a quick distraction. Spring cleaning of Ginny’s toys and baby clothes seemed like a good place to start. Ginny will soon need a new wardrobe for summer and is growing bigger with every day.
The doctor lets out a sigh and folds up a couple of sweaters that Ginny has outgrown before there is a knock at the door. Carina puts the sweaters in the donate pile before pushing herself off the ground and making her way to the door. The brunette wipes some lint of her jeans before opening the door to reveal Meredith Grey.
“Hey.” Meredith says.
“Hello, come on in.” Carina tells her colleague as she motions for her to come inside from the hallway. “Thank you for bringing over the files.”
“Thank you for agreeing to look at my case on your day off.” Meredith says genuinely before noticing the mess coming out of the baby’s room in the hallway. “What’s going on here?”
Carina looks at the mess and shakes her head. “Just a little spring cleaning.”
“You really know how to turn up on your day off.” Meredith chirps.
Carina chuckles under her breath before sighing. “I’m just keeping busy….I ran some errands and now I’m just doing some cleaning.”
“Uh-oh.” Meredith says back before handing Carina the files to look at. “So…I’m guessing your dinner didn’t go well.”
Carina’s face scrunches in confusion. “How did you?”
“Are you forgetting who my sister is?” Meredith laughs.
“Oh, Big Mouth Amelia.” Carina grumbles annoyed.
“So…it was bad.” Meredith ventures carefully.
“Sì.” Carina sighs.
“Vincenzo DeLuca.” Meredith throws out in to the air as she thinks back on her own experience with the bull headed Italian. “Do you remember when Andrew and I were kissing and you rolled up with your head out the window…your father in the back of the car.”
Carina chuckles lightly. “Andrea was frozen.”
“He was pretty stunned.” Meredith quips.
Carina nods her head and sighs again. “Well…my father has that effect.”
“Wanna talk about it?” Meredith asks.
Carina gets ready to tell Meredith that she is fine when she notices Grey giving her the look. The brunette gives in sticks her hands in her front pockets. “You and I know how hard my brother worked to treat his Bipolar.”
“It was very brave.” Meredith says with a nod of her head.
Carina lets out another breath and starts to wave her hand around. “And we saw the changes…he was so at peace.”
“Even during everything with the pandemic, he was good.” Meredith adds.
Carina smiles back at Meredith before going quiet as she gets lost in her thoughts. “My dad doesn’t see that part…he doesn’t even like to acknowledge that Bipolar is even a thing.”
“I remember.” Meredith retorts back softly.
Carina tries to shake off the feeling as she covers her forehead with her hand. “It’s just hard…but we’ll see.”
Meredith looks at the other woman sympathetically. “I’m sorry.”
Carina smiles back slightly as Meredith heads back to the door. “It’s okay….thank you for the files.”
“Good luck with the cleaning…and you know…everything else.” Meredith says back as she opens the door and steps out.
Carina nods her head and waves as Meredith walks out. “Thank you.”
The Italian closes the door and takes a second to get lost in her thoughts before deicing to shake them off. She makes her way back to the hallway but before she can sit down to get back to work there is another nock on the door. Carina quickly heads back to the door assuming Meredith came back.
“Meredith! Did you forget something?!” Carina calls out loudly as she makes her way back to the front door.
Carina opens the door but when she does it isn’t Meredith...its Vincenzo DeLuca.
“Dad.” Carina says startled at the surprise.
Vincenzo DeLuca sighs and greets his daughter somberly. “Carina.”
“Wha--”
The Italian man cuts her off and points inside. “Posso entrare?” (May I come in?)
Carina still in shock reaches for her cell phone that is now buzzing in her back pocket. She takes it out and immediately opens a text from Meredith.
Meredith Grey: I definitely walked right by your scary dad…good luck.
“Uhhhh….” Carina sputters out nervously.
“I saw your wife today.” Vincenzo informs his daughter.
Carina glances up from her phone frantically. “Uhhh….”
“She told me you almost died.” Vincenzo continues on.
“Uhhh…..” Carina sputters out yet again as her phone goes off for the second time. She looks at the new text message and sees that is from her wife.
Bambina: Remember that you love me. I accidently told your dad about the accident at the hospital. MY BAD! SORRY HONEY!
“Great.” Carina mumbles under her breath before tilting her head at her fuming father. “Dad, I really can’t.”
Vincenzo holds up his hands in defense. “I did not come to fight--”
“Well, I would hope not.” Carina says with a sigh before flinging her arms helplessly high up in the air. “Cos'altro c'è da dire?” (What else is there possibly to say?)
Vincenzo takes a deep breath and clutches his chest with his hand. “I apologize for losing my temper at dinner.”
“Okay.” Carina grumbles quickly…unconvinced.
Vincenzo exhales another deep breath. “Carina…”
“Papà…what do you want me to say?” The woman sighs back, truly confused at what his motives are.
Vincenzo again points inside the house. “Can we sit down please….or must we talk in the entryway like barbarians?”
“Good start.” Carina mumbles under her breath before moving to the side and motioning for him to come inside the apartment. “Let’s go to the living room.”
Vincenzo nods his head at his daughter and walks into the living room with Carina close behind.
“Can I get you anything to drink?” Carina asks her father as she follows him into the living room.
Vincenzo shakes his head no. “Sono buono.” (I’m good.)
“Okay.” Carina quips back.
“I went to see your wife at her work.” Vincenzo informs his daughter as he takes a seat on the side chair by the couch.
Carina nods her as she takes a seat on her couch. “She texted me.”
“She nearly tore my head off.” Vincenzo snipes.
His daughter snipes back as she wipes some stray lint off her knee. “That does not surprise me…she is extremely protective of those she loves.”
“She told me what happened at the hospital.” Vincenzo goes on to say before zeroing in on his eldest child. “I am wondering why my daughter was not the one to tell me.”
Carina sighs defeated. “Things go bad when I tell you things….I was avoiding it.”
“Much like with the news of the baby.” Vincenzo adds with a hint of bite in his voice.
“Yes.” Carina says quietly.
Vincenzo shakes his head bitterly. “I have a right to know things that are happening with my family Carina.”
“I don’t want to fight with you…I can’t.” Carina says back as she runs her hand through her long brown hair before leaning back into the couch.
Vincenzo keeps shaking his head. “I want you to imagine Ginetta keeping things from you…and how that would make you feel.”
“Papà!” Carina exclaims as she sits up in the couch…finally reaching her breaking point.
“What?!” Vincenzo exclaims back.
“I don’t want to fight!” Carina snaps loudly before waving her hand around. “My god!”
Vincenzo holds his hands up in defense and lets out a long breath. “Fine…we will not fight.”
“Thank god.” Carina mutters to herself.
Vincenzo looks up at the ceiling before getting up off the chair to go sit down on the spare seat of the couch next to his daughter. He exhales a long breath before taking a piece of paper out of the inside pocket of his suit jacket. “Here.”
Carina confused takes the paper to look at. “Che cos'è questo?” (What’s this?)
“A plane ticket to Philadelphia…I leave tomorrow morning.” Vincenzo tells his daughter before clasping his hands together on his lap. “I’m going to see Ricardo.”
“Zio Rico lives in Baltimore.” Carina says as she squints her eyes still confused.
“Ricardo has a friend at the Belmont Behavioral Health System in Philadelphia.” Vincenzo says filling in the blanks for the woman. “He’s meeting me there.”
All of the air is sucked out of Carina’s lungs. This was the absolute last thing she expected to hear coming out of her father’s mouth. She shakes her head, not sure she is hearing everything right. “Wait…what?”
“We are going to have a conversation about my drastic mood swings.” Vincenzo says under his breath.
“You are?” Carina mutters out quietly….in complete and utter shock.
Vincenzo nods his head once. “Sì.”
Carina blinks a few times and again shakes her head. “Why….why now?”
“I lost my son…my baby boy is gone forever.” Vincenzo says as he looks straight ahead.
Carina has to blink back the tears. “Dad.”
“And when I heard that you were hurt and almost died too…everything came crashing down.” He says as he immediately gets lost in his head. “I almost lost you too…in a moment I almost lost both of my children.”
Carina sighs and tilts her head to look her father in the eyes. “I’m okay Dad.”
Vincenzo tries to shakes off the fearful thought when he mumbles out sheepishly. “We are going to talk about things that I can do to help...with everything.”
“That’s great.” Carina says tentatively, immediately trying to be careful to tread lightly to the news.
“He has done good things with IPSRT.” Vincenzo continues.
“Andrea did really well with the interpersonal and social rhythm therapy.” Carina says with a soft smile at the thought of her baby brother. “It helped him to focus on routines with sleeping and eating….the consistency in routine helped for better mood management.”
Vincenzo nods his head. “He puts a lot of emphasis on sleep, diet, and exercise.”
“What about cognitive behavioral therapy?” Carina asks.Carina and Andrea had multiple conversations about the therapy. The focus is identifying unhealthy, negative beliefs and behaviors and replacing them with healthy, positive ones. CBT can help identify what triggers your bipolar episodes. You also learn effective strategies to manage stress and to cope with upsetting situations. Andrea said that the therapy did wonders to help him stay in a good place mentally.
“We are going to have a discussion about it.” Vincenzo says before she starts rubbing his hands on his thighs. “Hopefully figure out strategies to help manage stress and coping with upsetting situations.”
“Everybody has triggers…it’s important to figure out what they are.” Carina replies.
“I am not promising that anything will come out of this…” Vincenzo warns his daughter as he points his finger at her. “I have made my opinions on taking these drugs very clear.”
Carina bites her bottom lip before exhaling out. “I know you have.”
Vincenzo just shakes his head firmly. “I do not want lithium, or aripiprazole, or olanzapine, or carboamazepine, or--”
“Mood stabilizers and antipsychotics can help…they helped Andrea.” Carina tries to explain.
“The list of medications they suggest is over two pages long...I will not be drugged into submission.” Vincenzo quips back.
Carina can’t help the urge to roll her eyes. “Dad…it’s not about taking a bunch of medication, it is about finding what right medication for you.”
Vincenzo holds up his hand in warning. “I…can only promise to have the conversation.”
“Okay.” Carina says…knowing that even this is a huge step for the man.
“Okay.” Vincenzo repeats as he starts to look around, succumbing to the uncomfortableness of the topic.
Carina sees this and reaches over to grab her father’s hand. “That’s a big step.”
Vincenzo smiles at his daughter’s hand and gives it a squeeze before he slowly slips his hand away. “I have a lot of regrets….mostly with you.”
“You do?” Carina asks.
Vincenzo nods his head and again clasps his fingers together nervously. “I have for a very long time.”
A lump immediately forms in Carina’s throat. “Of what?”
“You should have gone with Mamma and Andrea to Wisconsin.” Vincenzo admits before turning his gaze to the wall across the room.
“I chose to stay.” Carina says quietly.
“We should have insisted…I should have insisted.” Vincenzo says bitterly…mostly at himself. He exhales a harsh breath before glancing over to his little girl. “I’m sorry.”
Carina blinks back the tears before wiping at her eyes. “Thank you.”
“And I again…I am sorry about last night.” Vincenzo sighs embarrassed. “You were right to tell me to leave.”
“I have Ginetta to think about now…she has to come first.” Carina says firmly.
“Of course.” Vincenzo says genuinely as he smiles at his daughter. “You are a wonderful mother….Andrea would be proud.”
“I like to think so.” Carina says with an emotional chuckle before wiping at a lone tear on her cheek. She takes a moment and shakes her head before speaking honestly. “Dad as a child I was subjected to some pretty scary moments when you were maniac…and I will not allow the same thing to happen to Ginetta.”
“I understand.” Vincenzo says quietly before shaking his head. “I don’t want that either.”
Carina examines her father and can immediately tell that he is telling the truth. “That’s good to hear.”
The father and daughter sit in silence for a moment and there is a peace between them. They feel a peace that neither of them has felt in a long time when in each other’s presence. Both are extremely smart and know that everything is not solved. But in this moment…they need the peace. In their original family of four…it’s just the two of them left. This is something that is not lost on the two at all.
The only thing that brings them out of their comfortable silence is when the front door swings open.
“Honey! We’re home!” Maya calls out as she walks through the front door with a squirrely Ginny in her arms.
Carina smiles at the sound of her wife and daughter and looks over to her father who has gone pale next to her. She reaches over and places her hand on top of his again before nodding her head towards the front door. “Come on.”
Vincenzo swallows a nervous lump in his throat as he follows his daughter towards the front door where Maya is clearly trying to hang on to a wiggling baby.
“Okay…I know, I know.” Maya says as she sets down the diaper bag before letting the little girl down on the ground. “Go wild.”
Carina smiles and slips her hands in her jean pockets. “Hey.”
“Hey.” Maya sputters out, surprised to see the man again in her house. “Uhh...is it okay that we’re back.”
Carina nods her head once. “Yes.”
“Hello Maya.” Vicenzo greets timidly.
“Vincenzo.” Maya greets back through an exhaled breath. “Hello….again.”
Vincenzo fidgets where he stands for a moment. “Thank you or the conversation we had at your work…I needed to hear what you had to say.”
Maya not sure what to say back, nods her head back to the man before looking for an out of the uncomfortable moment. She lets out another uncomfortable sigh and looks around for her energetic little girl. “Where’d she go?”
“Mimma!” Carina calls out as she too looks for the baby. “Come here my love!”
Maya can hear the familiar sound of little knees and hands on the floor and turns to see Ginny crawling around the dining room table. “There she is.”
Vincenzo smiles at the little girl crawling towards them before turning back to his daughter. It takes him a moment to digest what he just heard come out of Carina’s mouth. “You call here Mimma?”
“I do.” Carina says with a genuine smile as she reaches down to pick up the little girl who has made her way to her feet. “My love….this is your nonno.”
“Hi Ginetta.” Vincenzo says to the little girl with a big smile on his face.
“Can you say hi?” Carina asks the little girl who smiles in her arms before again squirming in her arms in order to be let down. Carina can’t help but laugh before setting the little girl down who immediately takes off towards the living room. “And she’s off…”
Vincenzo covers his mouth in shock as he studies the little girl’s features in awe as she crawls away. “She looks like Andrea…and you.”
“She does.” Maya agrees before sharing a sweet smile me with her wife.
“I’m glad that you are looking to figure things out…for you.” Carina says to her father before nodding towards the little girl crawling around. “And for her.”
Vincenzo nods his head and sighs. “I’m going to try.”
“Good…because you are her nonno.” Carina says as she swallows the emotional lump in her throat in order to keep speaking. “And I want you to be in her life.”
“I would like that very much.” Vincenzo replies back genuinely before waving towards the living room where the little girl is sitting on the floor looking at her one of her books she found underneath the coffee table. “May I?”
Carina nods her head before motioning towards the living room. “Go for it.”
Vincenzo gives her an appreciative smile and quickly heads to the living room to spend some time with his only grandchild. Maya quickly glances in that direction before her attention is brought the pile of mess in the hallway by the nursery.
“Keeping busy, I see.” Maya says as she continues to scan around at the mess coming out of Ginny’s room into the hallway.
“Okay, okay.” Carina chuckles with a roll of her eyes.
Maya can’t help but smile before getting serious and reaching over to grab hold of her wife’s arm. “I’m sorry for spilling the beans to your dad.”
“It’s okay Bambina….I’m glad all the secrets are out now.” Carina reassures her wife.
“Yea.” Maya sighs knowing how much all the secrets have been weighing her wife down.
“Speaking of secrets….I may have dropped by Dr. Lewis’ office today.” Carina says with a squint of her eyes.
“Diane Lewis from SFD?” Maya asks confused as her wife turns to face her wife.
Carina shrugs her shoulders. “You all have spoken so highly of her...I thought she could help.”
“And did she?” Maya asks.
“She is very good.” Carina says.
“She is.” Maya says through a soft laugh before tilting her head at her wife. “Are you okay?”
“Yea.” Carina murmurs out before nodding her head towards the living room. “Are you okay with all of this? I should have asked.”
“I’m okay if you are okay.” Maya reassures her wife genuinely as she takes her hands in her own in an attempt to ground the woman in front of her. “Did you guys talk?”
Carina nods her head and lets out a tired breath before whispering back. “We did…I’ll tell you about it later.”
“Okay.” Maya says before looking past Carina to see Vincenzo sitting on the floor playing withGinny and some of her toys. “He’s good with her…she likes him.”
Carina turns around to get a better look at the scene in front of them. “She does.”
The brunette takes another moment and watches happily as Vincenzo lets out his gentle chuckle Ginny as she playfully shows him her stuffed seal. Seeing the two of them together makes her heart flutter and drop...all at the same time.
“I want Ginny to know her family…including her nonno.” Carina says wistfully.
“I want that too.” Maya says as she wraps her arms around Carina’s waist before resting her chin on top of her shoulder. “You’ve taught me how important family is…or should be.”
Carina nestles back against Maya and wraps her wife’s arms around her waist tighter. “I know that we need to set boundaries and we have things to figure out…”
“And we will.” Maya reassures her wife before placing a kiss on her cheek. “We’ll do it together.”
“You’re really okay with this?” Carina asks…wanting to make sure that she is being honest. “I know that our relationships with our fathers are tough.”
“It’s different, it is.” Maya reassures her wife. “I can see how it is different…our dads are not the same.”
“I still want you to be comfortable.” Carina insists.
Maya smiles at her appreciatively. “You are amazing…and I’m good. Like I said we are in this together.”
Carina smiles and turns to face her wife. “Thanks partner.”
“I like being your partner.” Maya says back with her own smile.
Her wife gazes lovingly at Maya and again is overtaken with an immense feeling of love. “I love being your partner.”
Maya again gives her wife a smile before they meet for a soft kiss. When they pull away she nods her head towards the living room. “That living room is missing an Italian…..I’ll go order in some dinner.”
Carina nods her head and smiles at her wife before quickly making her way to the living room to sit down on the floor to play with her daughter and papa. Maya takes another second to admire the scene before quietly slipping away towards the kitchen. She knows that there are a lot of questions still unanswered, but the sound of three identical laughs coming from the living room fills her with hope.