Ch. 25

"Ginny, I don't know what to do!"

Hermione was pacing back and forth at the foot of her bed while Ginny was sitting in the middle, watching her friend as she worried.

"'Mione, you've already accepted him, right?" Ginny asked.

"Yes but that's not the problem," Hermione said, exasperated. "I'm not... for the next two steps! Especially if they possibly happen together!"

"I don't think Draco is the kind of guy to force you to do those things, even if he is a Veela," Ginny said, gesturing towards the closed bedroom door. "I'm sure he'd understand your concerns."

Hermione sighed leaned against the wall opposite the bed. "I know he wouldn't force me, but what if he loses control?"

Ginny bit her lip. "I'm not sure. I have the same concern with Blaise, and it's definitely something that has me worried. But at the same time, I don't think they would do anything that could possibly hurt us."

"That's true, I guess," Hermione said, looking down at the floor. "Still, I was hoping that my first time would be special, not brought about by raging hormones from being marked by a Veela."

"That doesn't mean that it won't be special," Ginny shrugged. "Draco cares a lot about you; I'm sure he wouldn't treat you as just a quick shag if that's what you're thinking."

"He does have a fairly horrible reputation for sex," Hermione said. "I don't know. It's just become a lot more real for me. He's been really good about making sure I'm not uncomfortable with how we are progressing, but now I feel like there's an urgency to...complete everything."

"We don't have a deadline to do any of this," Ginny stated calmly.

"You heard Professor Rhodes; she said that Veelas become very restless and protective. Draco's already on high alert because apparently Pansy threatened to hex me," Hermione said, gesturing towards the door frustrated. "It's only going to get worse, and I don't know if I can take that. I don't like feeling like I'm some sort of porcelain doll that needs to be protected."

"Merlin knows you can definitely protect yourself," Ginny said. "You were the first person to master non-verbal spells in your class and you practically know every spell that's ever existed. I can see how that's frustrating that he's treating you like that. If Blaise did that, I would've snapped at him already."

"Well I finally got it out of him this morning before class, but I have a feeling that he's still going to act like that." She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "I don't know; I know I want to be with him regardless of the fact that he's a Veela and we're going to be together anyway, but this just feels really sudden."

"Maybe it's just something you need to do and get it over with, get it out of the way. Honestly, the first time is really hyped up anyway and shouldn't be treated too seriously," Ginny said. "My first time with Harry was horrible."

"I remember you giving me a few details but it didn't sound too bad," Hermione replied, raising an eyebrow.

Ginny giggled. "I wanted to spare you because I know you're not necessarily comfortable about the subject."

"I appreciate that, Gin," Hermione grinned.

"Does Draco know you haven't done anything physical?" Ginny asked curiously.

Shaking her head, Hermione responded nervously, "It's not like that just necessarily comes up in conversation."

"Maybe not your conversations," Ginny grinned.

"Well not all of us are as open about talking about our sexual experiences as you are," Hermione teased.

Ginny laughed and said, "It's not such a bad thing to talk about! Really, you should hear some of the Hufflepuffs!"

"I don't think I want to!"

The two girls giggled to each other and Hermione sighed after, her thoughts still a whirlwind as she considered everything.

Draco and Blaise were staring at Hermione's bedroom door, listening intently to the conversation that was happening on the other side. They didn't say anything to each other, only casting each other nervous glances.

Blaise shifted in his seat after hearing Ginny's comment and muttered, "I wonder who she talks to where that comes up in conversation so easily."

"You mean you two haven't talked about that?" Draco asked, smirking slightly. "I would've thought that you were the person she was talking to about that."

"Hasn't even come up." Blaise was staring daggers at the bedroom door now, fuming slightly.

"Mate, you can't control who she talks to," Draco said with a slight laugh. "Anything you try to control with her, she's just going to push back against it."

Blaise only responded with a low growl, angrily sitting back into the couch. "I suppose you're right."

"And besides, it sounds like her time with Potter wasn't that great anyway," Draco went on, looking back at the door. "At least yours is comfortable with the subject. Hermione's freaking out about the whole process."

"You have to admit, it is a lot to take in," Blaise said, coming down from his anger slightly. "I mean, if the situation was reversed and you were the mate, and you had no idea what all that entailed and no amount of research was able to tell you because let's face it, we know they both researched it, and then all of a sudden you learn that not only does the Veela have to mark you but that could also possibly lead to mating. it would be your first time. Wouldn't that freak you out as well?"

"I'm not saying it wouldn't freak me out, but at the same time I haven't shied away from being intimate with anyone," Draco argued.

Blaise stared at him and then reached over to smack the back of his head. "You really are a prat, aren't you?"

Draco glared at him and rubbed the back of his head. "What was that for?"

Blaise opened his mouth but was interrupted as the girls' conversation picked up again.

"Hermione, I can tell you're worrying yourself to pieces," Ginny sighed, tossing a pillow at her friend.

"Of course I am, how are you not?" Hermione asked, laughing slightly as she tossed it back and went to sit on the bed next to her friend. "This is kind of a big deal. Ginny, we're going to be mated to them for life. It's like getting married."

"Not necessarily," Ginny shrugged. "One isn't being traded for another. Imagine it as finding your soulmate and you two are just sealing your love for each other."

Hermione froze slightly. "Love? Do you love Blaise already?"

Ginny shrugged and just smiled in response. "Why, do you not love Draco?"

Hermione wasn't sure how to answer. "I don't know, I don't think I've been with him long enough to love him. I certainly like him a lot, and I'm sure he feels the same. And we aren't as public about us as you and Blaise are."

"Love is different for different people, 'Mione," Ginny explained, pulling her legs up to cross them underneath her. "I know Ron didn't really give you a good basis for how relationships and love are supposed to be, but at the same time you can't really compare relationships against each other. It's like comparing two different people; no two people are going to be the same, just like no two relationships are going to be the same."

"That's a little cliché, Gin," Hermione laughed. "I see what you mean, though. It's just hard because...I mean, no one would have ever expected it. I'm nothing like the girls he's probably used to dating."

"What do you mean?" Ginny asked, looking at her in confusion.

Hermione sighed and looked down. "I mean, I'm not pretty like you or the other girls here. Not that I'm not attractive but not like other girls. He's had girls falling all over him since he started here, and then there's me. I mean, I barely even had a boyfriend with Ron, and yeah I had Krum but he even admitted that he thought my intelligence is the most attractive part about me. But Ron never made me feel like I was beautiful. He barely even acknowledged I was a girl until fourth year when he blatantly said it while attempting to ask me to the Yule Ball. "

Ginny shook her head and squeezed her friend's hand. "'Mione, you are beautiful. My brother's an idiot, he should have seen that you were beautiful. You've been focused on your studies, and everyone knew that. And so what if they don't see your beauty? Draco obviously does. And why are you so worried about him liking you for your looks? I've never seen you not have confidence in yourself over anything."

"I don't know, this is fairly new to me too," Hermione muttered. She did hate this feeling. It reminded her of sixth year when Ron and Lavender dated and the jealousy she constantly felt because of it. "It's just hard to believe he could be attracted to me without the help of his Veela being mated to me. I know he's said that he's liked me since first year, but what if it's like how Krum liked me? Only for my intelligence?"

"I highly doubt that," Ginny said. "I've seen the way he looks at you. You're the only girl in the world to him, and I doubt it's just because of your intelligence. Even without him being a Veela, I think something would have happened between the two of you."

"You really think so?" Hermione asked, smiling slightly.

"With you two being in such close quarters and the fact that you and Ron didn't work out, definitely!" Ginny grinned. "I was honestly betting that you two would have gotten together before Christmas."

"That makes me feel better," Hermione laughed. "Placing bets on my love life! Who were you betting with?"

"That's a secret!"

Placing his head in his hands, Draco groaned. So that explained why she was always feeling apprehensive about their relationship. She didn't think she was good enough for him. That was the very last thing he ever wanted her to think.

"I don't know how to fix this," He muttered.

Blaise raised an eyebrow at him. "Well, if you want her to love you, you had better figure it out. It's a shame that Weasley never made her feel attractive."

"I'm going to hex him the next time I see him," Draco said angrily. "She deserves better than that."

He sat quietly, trying to figure out a way to calm her fears about it. He hated the fact that she didn't feel good enough. And he knew that his actions toward her in the past helped contribute to that, even if she didn't say it.

Leaning back against the couch, he looked up at the ceiling and groaned again. He had a lot to make up for, that he was certain about. And as a few ideas hit him, he immediately sat up, startling Blaise.

"What's up, mate?" Blaise asked curiously.

Draco simply grinned and looked at his friend. "I know how I'm going to make her feel special. It's so simple."

"Well, don't leave me in the dark!" Blaise grinned in response. "Tell me what you're going to do!"