68 | Perfume-Scented Solutions

10:34am

: hi thought you'd all like to know that there is a terrible smell wafting through the deo right now

: i'm pretty sure the plants are actively wilting under this oppressive... scent

: avoid the deo, noted

: aren't you meant to avoid the deo anyway since you're on our wanted list?

: no i sneak in at night to use the gym facilities

: and the water pressure in that place is good

: oh my god were you the one who smashed the mirror in the gym

: ... no

: what mirror haha i don't know what you're talking about

: we tried to find the culprit but all security tapes were wiped of that night

: also we found a torn scrap of red fabric that looked suspiciously like those dresses you wear

: could've been a really good copycat then

: do you do exercise in those tight red dresses???

: what the fuck

: what else am i supposed to wear, director lane

: so it was you

: okay case closed

: you're sending us the cash to cover the damages

: would you like the sum in pennies

: if i find bags of coins on our doorstep tomorrow i swear to god

: you're welcome xx

: so, winslow, why am i avoiding my main gym venue

: because kara, alex, and j'onn chased a bad guy through the sewers for a while

: and they've been in the decontamination showers for like, an hour already

: do you think they've drowned

: i will kick your ass when i leave this shower

: are you using your phone in the shower???

: i got bored

: and it's water resistant so like, that's the whole point isn't it

: i may or may not have dropped it five times already

: loser

: you know, i hope your heel breaks when you're doing that scaling building thing you do today

: oh please, as if my coordination would ever fail me

: unlike your butter-fingers, danvers

: fuck you

: no thanks babes

: oh god we need some air freshener STAT

: ugh the flowers on my desk have drooped unhappily

: did you guys really have to go through the fucking sewers

: vasquez got me those

: yeah my new hamster does not seem pleased either

: wait that wasn't a dream?

: what wasn't a dream

: oh fuck the shakespearean hamster wasn't a dream

: oh no that was one hundred percent real

: i wonder where carl is now

: maybe starting a small rebellion in a hamster colony

: he seems like he would do that

: what the fuck

: ????

: actually upon further reflection, i see your point

: and i swear if your guys' sewer gallivanting has killed my new hamster

: there will be blood to pay

: i have used an entire bottle of shampoo and i don't even have that much hair

: oh god, i just saw a third empty bottle of shampoo fly out of kara's cubicle

: ... do you want me to bring a bunch of my expensive perfume and smash them on the floor for you

: i feel like that's a fire hazard

: even better

: and as if using a bunch of aerosol air fresheners isn't a total fire hazard either

: okay yes true

: i agree to this plan

: ... as co-director, i also approve

: i just want these flowers to stop looking so sad

: giant box of perfume incoming in three minutes

: voila my friends

: oh that actually smells really good

: let's smash them on the floor now

: what the hell are you guys doing up there

: are you guys actually trying to blow up the fucking building

: jesus christ that's a terrible idea no stop

: ... fineeee

: you're no fun danvers

: you could have literally called lena to have her send over some sort of air purifier for fucks sake

: oh yeah

: whilst lena is indisputably a genius, i still think my method is much more effective

: update: kara has now used six bottles of shampoo

: and there won't be any deo left to fix if it's burned down you dumbass

: and besides, don't want to lose out on the gym do you now

: fuck that's a good point

: i am taking all the perfume back

: winn and lucy can keep one because they actually believed in my genius plan thank you very much

: ... crisis averted at least

~~~A/N

Just finished writing chapter 70 and it is an absolute monster of a chapter. Heads up, it's almost 9k words which is pretty much twice the length of the last one I wrote lol but I'm pretty proud of it. Should be out sometime this week! Stay tuned!