Chapter 32.

Several days later, Rey was keeping herself busy as she packed last minute items into a small satchel, wondering if her nerves would ever calm. The closer the day to leave came, the worse it got. Her stomach was constantly tight, her temples throbbing, heart racing.

The anxiety was almost too much.

Sighing, Rey lifted a hand to her cheek, giving a small press to help cool her down. The Challenge Day was so vile to her, and the picture she had in her mind of how the city of Cinnon'Ra is, made her cringe. Yet, she could not deny that underneath it all, she was eager to get a glimpse of Ben.

What was complicated even more than her plan, was how she felt about him, and what would happen once her plan was in action.

Rey practiced every single moment of the day for the plan, alongside both Flora and Kai, who seemed excited for the getaway and for the oncoming fight that they were flying to.

What was most important to Rey, however, was keeping the girls safe, and Ben himself.

Now, in only a few hours, they would be leaving in the middle of the night, Chewie and BB-8 ready aboard the Millennium Falcon, and set to take off the moment all three women set foot on the ship.

The anticipation made Rey's hands shake against her cheek, and she clasped her hands together, steadying her breath.

Right then, she heard a soft knock at the door to her chambers, making Rey quickly turn towards it only to see Princess Leia entering and closing the door behind her.

The atmosphere quickly changed, the air filling with scents of lilies and ocean water. It reminded Rey of the small island she often thought of... the island she met Anakin and Obi Wan on.

Rey opened her mouth to speak, her body and mind willing to give a small hello, in hopes that it would show the General that she was calm. However, Rey sensed that Leia knew better.

In fact, Leia knew it all.

Leia Organa stepped closer to Rey, her small frame covered by a long, grey dress and black cloak. From behind layers of clothing, her hand reached towards Rey's, and the young girl caught her hand, each holding the others to give reassurance.

Rey's stomach clenched again, and her emotions beckoned for a release that Rey refused.

'Not now... not now...' she kept telling herself as she glanced to the ground, and back to meet Leia's eyes.

"I know you're leaving." Leia said, a sad smile tugging at her lips. Rey realized that the General was holding back tears as well.

"How?" Rey's small voice whispered as she blinked away her own tears.

"Chewie never leaves without a goodbye." Leia said, trying and failing to force out a chuckle.

Rey looked away again, feeling ashamed that there had to be a goodbye at all, especially when it came to Leia.

Rey shook her head, trying to fight off the negative thoughts that came flooding through her mind, begging her to call it all off.

"I have to go." Rey muttered, swallowing the sob she wanted to cry out. Clearing her throat, she looked back up to Leia when her tears ran away. "I have to."

Leia was already nodding when their eyes met. "I know." The older woman said calmly. She moved her hand out of Rey's and embraced her, and they stood there for a few moments as their anxiety and impatience clashed together, and eventually, washed away.

Together, they were stronger. Rey thought it may have had something to do with the force, but right now, she couldn't think about that.

Stepping back, Leia took a cloth from her cloaks pocket and dabbed a few times at each of her cheeks before she spoke.

"Rey, if something happens... We won't be able to follow you out there. Our fleet-"

"I know." Rey nodded. When their eyes met once again, Leia understood that Rey knew exactly what risks she was taking. The dark look in Rey's eyes gave away all of her thoughts, and Leia's own stomach clenched with a surprising pain, one that she remembered feeling when Ben was just a boy... when she wished she could take his pain away, yet she knew she couldn't...

Sighing, she looked towards her clasped hands. "Bring him home... I just want him home..."

The aching sadness that pierced through Leia's whisper hit Rey more than anything.

It didn't hurt Rey that Leia didn't ask her to stay, in fact it helped. No one on this planet would ever be able to convince her to stay, and to have Leia's support only fueled Rey's need to go even more.

For the first time since the plan was evened out, Rey felt her worries wash away, and she was able to breathe.

( X )

Hours later, Flora and Kai met with Rey a few miles outside of the base, skirting around the outsides of the security parameter, undetected by no one. As Rey led the twins to the meet up spot, she couldn't help but feel bad for not saying goodbye to her friends.

She wondered if Finn would ever forgive her, and if Rose would ever speak to her again... and Poe...

Rey's heart stopped for the quickest second as Poe's face entered her mind. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt any of them, but something made Rey feel as though this would hurt him the most.

She couldn't deny that she felt as though she was betraying every person she cared for, and Rey tried to convince herself that she was doing this only for the Resistance, but deep down she knew that was a lie. Yes, she was doing this for them, for their lives, but a very selfish part of Rey revealed that she needed to do this for Ben, as if it would fix any wrong that had been done to him.

"Do you love him?" Kai breathlessly asked from behind her.

Rey froze for a moment, suddenly realizing that Kai was watching her thoughts from within her own mind.

Using the force to push her out, Rey saw she had overpowered her mind as Kai stumbled into her. The young twin muttered an apology, but still waited for the answer.

Rey's brows furrowed as she thought for a moment, but was not able to come to the answer on her own before Kai spoke again.

"Well, I mean you must, since you're going through all this trouble..." Kai trailed off when Flora scoffed at her.

"He isn't the only reason we are doing this." Rey said, her annoyance reaching a new record for how fast it came.

"Really? So, when and if the time comes, you'll kill him before he kills us?" Kai asked, her own tone giving her away. This was a question that she had been wanting to ask, and the fact that she asked it before they were to leave Pyron let Rey know that she had to set the record straight.

Though, her heart ached at the answer.

Stopping in her tracks, Rey turned to face the twins, who stopped walking as well.

"Yes. If and when the time comes, I will kill him in a heartbeat over losing any of you. But, he won't kill you. I know he won't." Rey said, her eyes shooting from Kai to Flora. The look she gave them made the girls believe every word, and Rey did indeed, and knew herself that if he were to ever do such a thing, she would either kill him first or sacrifice herself while doing so.