Chapter Six

"You don't look so well, Xena"

"I'm okay." Even the blind could at least sense that I was far from okay, but he shrugged, getting back to his crossword without even sparing a look at me. He has always been like this.

I reminisced on the day that I met him, I had just been offered a job in a Wonderful company and Cameron had been my assistant. I remember his eyes that were full of pity as if they knew my past more than I do. When I brought up the topic of finding a therapist, Cam introduced me to his. An elderly man refuted the claim that he was growing old. A therapist who loved clubbing, disco dance shoes, and Micheal Jackson's hat, which is inarguably his favorite, as he even wears It while putting on his Lab Coat. Six months ago, I thought that he was the most fascinating man I've ever seen and six months later, he still is... Well, after the Son of the Devil.

"I'm ready to talk now, Sam," I sighed, biting my lips. Sam has a way of making me do things that I would never have done.

"Alright, let's hear it," he said in that super excited voice of his, the one that once piqued me.

"Jenny's going to Africa." I blurted out, I knew that dinner or later the tears would burst out.

"What?" He shrieked and I gave him a half smile. He was like the fourth person in our trio - Four in a trio. He wasn't always present though and anytime he happens to find a chance to be in our company, we were to fill him with everything that went on in his absence. Cam gladly took the job, explaining every bit with a sprinkle of exaggerations of course. "You know, she'd always been my favorite. What did you say, Africa ey? To fucking do what? Colonize?"

"She's going for her Master's degree in African Cultural and Creative Arts." He gives me a 'what the crap are you talking about? Face'. "The one thing that keeps her sane?" He still doesn't understand. "Her obsession, her Orgasm." Who the hell calls their Job their Orgasm? Yeah, Jenny. With the thought of me calling mass communication my Orgasm creeps up and I shuddered.

"Oh...yeah, Wow! That's amazing. You should be happy for her Xena. Wait. You're not happy for her?"

"1. Stop calling me Xena. 2. Of Course I'm happy for her, but...I don't know Sam, I think everyone is just leaving me. First Jenny, next you before you know Cam would talk about going to pursue his dreams of having a 360 - degree round sex." Oh no! not my Cam, not my sweet Cam. Okay, Sophia. Shut up!

"1. I would start calling you Sophia when horses start growing Vaginas. 2. No one is leaving you, Xena, Jenny is only what? Half a world away?" He said, grinning.

I groaned.

"On a serious note, no one is leaving. Jenny would always be back for holidays, I would be here and I don't see Cam leaving anytime soon," he winked. I sighed, what if Jenny meets someone and decides to get married and live there forever? But, I didn't tell this Sam. I sent it packing in the back of my mind.

"Is that all?"

"Yeah," I replied, rubbing my face tiredly while yawning.

"Alright then," he shrugged.

"Okay, there's more," I said and he smirked. I stood up from the chair and started pacing around the office, pounding my fist on my palm. "Slade's back." I paused, checking his face for any expression. Right, none. Typical Sam. I continued, "And he had granted the Company and interview but as usual with Slade, there's always a loophole. He wants me to Anchor the interview. Me! Sophia Xena Carson! And, you know, I wanted to reject the offer but Parker's so happy. Moreover, this interview would grant us a face with our peers. I don't know what to do Sam!!! Like, how would I face him? Would he tell everyone what I did or what we were? I dunno Sam!" Huh? "Sam?!" I said, moving close to the snoring man. I shook him hard and he stirred. "Sam!!! Did you even hear half of what I said?" I grumbled

"Are you done?" He asked, looking at me with eyes that didn't look as if they were sleeping in the first place.

I stood still and glared at him all the ferociously, my shoulders slumped, giving up. "Yes, I am."

"Good, now we can talk. Sit." I sat down, obediently, pouting my lips.

"First of all, when is this interview going to hold?"

"April 1st," I said, breathlessly.

"Calm down Xena, April 1st you say? That's two weeks' time right?" He asked and I nodded. "Alright, what's your plan?"

"Plan? Probably use all my savings to buy a very nice dress, shoes, and bags with this badass shade that would have 'Fuck you Slade written over it, and then go hungry for like what? A year? Sleeping under a bridge after Mrs. Peggy would have tossed me out of her house would be the most thoughtful plan I've ever had."

"Xena," he said exasperatedly. "That's not it."

"Then, what is?" I asked, folding my arms across my breasts.

"You don't need to impress him you know? Just be yourself alright? Don't be more than you or less than you, just be you." Me? Let me be me. Do you know what being me is? Oh well, I'll tell you. It means staying up late doing copywriting jobs and then having your Boss shout at you. it means drowning yourself in Alcohol because you can't stop thinking about a particular homo sapien, it means screenshotting stuff that you ve and then deleting them when you remember that you've got two hormonal adults you're training in College. It means committing an abominable Sin by falling in love.

"I've heard you, Sam," I said, standing up.

"Sit down Xena," he said, bringing his fatherly tone to play.

"My hour is already up Sam."

"I know."

Alright, he knows. Good! Now, why is he looking at me weirdly?

"Have you done your assignment?"

"Which one?" I said, smiling wryly.

"C'mon Xena, the one about why you were never in any relationship? What am I even saying? There's only one."

"Nope," I replied, abruptly. Sam had asked me three months ago the reason why I hadn't been in any relationship since I started existing, and I just stared at him like he was speaking Swahili. My Ma had given me a 'To all the boys I've ever loved the box,' canceling the boys, I wrote men. It was under my bed now, all dusty and forgotten, maybe not forgotten. I had only written one letter to one person. Yeah, you guessed right.

Sam placed his right hand on my shoulder, "Take your time Xena," I rolled my eyes. I'm going to take all the time in this world... not doing any stupid assignments.

"Can I go now," I asked, and he waved his hands in a fatherly dismissal way? His focus was now shifted to his laptop.

I forced my tired butt to get up, leaving the room, I soon found myself in the streets of New York City.