Chapter 16: Did You Ever Love Me?

Zhao Yingyue put her phone down—having secretly started recording their conversation. Even if Liu Haoyu was spearheading the revenge, she could still do her part to help.

"Mother, you never typically join me on my busy days. I wonder, why have you chosen to join us today?"

Seeing that they were completely alone, Gu Yanya sat up straighter and planted a sneer on her face before saying, "You're a smart girl. Why do you think?"

Zhao Yingyue feigned ignorance as she replied, "Hm. Is it because you want to know what my future parents in law like as a gift for tonight's dinner? I must admit that I don't know much but I can text Haoyu and ask for you, if you'd like."

Gu Yanya scoffed. She didn't like that Zhao Yingyue was playing dumb with her when they both knew what was really happening. It was so obvious that she wouldn't be there for something as trivial as that. Besides, everyone knew that while marriage should be mutually beneficial, the dowry came from the groom's side of the family and not the bride's.

"Why would I care about that? A family like them should be easy to shop for—especially since I don't think this engagement will last for too much longer."

The smirk that crossed Gu Yanya's lips was full of confidence and her eyes didn't show an ounce of care toward Zhao Yingyue. It was as if she didn't even see her own daughter as a basic human being.

Zhao Yingyue at least felt better at hoe open her mom was. She knew that it would be easy to get her mom to spill out the plan but she never knew it would be that easy. Her mom was right though.

The engagement wouldn't last long.

In fact, Zhao Yingyue would be married in only six more days, regardless of how hard her mother tried to rip them apart. The Liu family wasn't someone who would easily succumb to the tricks of a bitter woman.

"Why would you think that, Mother? Do you believe that my fiancé would get tired of me so quickly? Have you so little faith in me?"

Gu Yan sneered.

"I'll make sure of it! Do you think that I will let you marry even higher than myself, Zhao Yingyue? Especially someone who would help you bully Yanyan."

Zhao Yingyue was disgusted. Her mother regarded Gu Yan in such a caring manner while her name was said as if she was nothing more than some bug ready to be squashed beneath Gu Yanya's foot.

Her mother was so obsessed with this idea of control that she wouldn't even let her marry someone who would undoubtedly benefit one of Gu Yanya's most precious things—her social standing. And another one of her favorite things—money.

"But mother, this marriage would undoubtedly be good for everyone. I'll be happy with Liu Haoyu and our family will definitely benefit from new partnerships with the Liu family. They're so sweet and treat those they consider family with closeness. Only those who harm them receive their coldness. What benefit would you get from this?"

Gu Yanya flipped her hair over her shoulder as if she was stuck in her own head. She sure was always stuck in there, assuming things will never not go her way.

"While this would be beneficial to our family, how could I let you be in a position higher than me? that's your real goal, isn't it? For some sick sense of revenge that you don't deserve? I won't allow you to bully me or Yanyan! Not in this life or the next!"

Zhao Yingyue couldn't believe that her mother genuinely thought her to be that type of person. Deep down, she'd been hoping that her mother wasn't such a cruel person, but she's shown time and time again that she is. 

And she truly thought that the world revolved around her. The only reason that Zhao Yingyue could want to marry Liu Haoyu was to hold it over her head. She never even considered that it could be something more noble like benefitting the family the same way that she had been planning all her actions almost her entire life. She never considered that she could be truly happy with the man.

She was blinded by status and money and likely her own anxiety because she knew how she'd treated Zhao Yingyue for most of her life. Gu Yanya knew that even if the whole world knew, she would be safe as long as the Liu's didn't.

"But Mother, why would you be worried about that? Why do you think that I'd bully you or Gu Yan? Would I have a reason to do such a thing?"

Gu Yanya recalled all the times she had seen Gu Yan pushed around or overshadowed by Zhao Yingyue. She could clearly remember all the times Gu Yan had complained about what Zhao Yingyue did to torment her that day.

It made Gu Yanya angry to see Zhao Yingyue sitting calmly and speaking as if she were the wronged party. She always acted like an angel but she wasn't one. She was just a bully who knew nothing but hurting her own cousin.

"You already do bully poor Yanyan. The only reason she's been alright before is because I've been here to protect her. If I didn't punish you for your treatment of her, would she even have the face to stand before anyone?"

"I don't know where I went wrong in raising you. You used to be my little Yueyue but then you started treating Yanyan so terribly and even refused to admit to your wrongdoings. You still, not once, have admitted what you've done."

"Knowing that, how can I let you embarrass us by marrying into such a family with your personality? On top of that, how am I to know that your bullying of Yanyan won't get any worse? Since family ties so obviously mean nothing to you, how would I know that you won't bully me or your father?"

Zhao Yingyue was silent for a while after that. She'd known that her mother thought badly of her but to think these things... she had no idea. Her mother seemed almost delusional in Zhao Yingyue's eyes because that wasn't how she remembered any of it going.

When they were younger, Gu Yan had constantly picked on Zhao Yingyue for no reason other than jealousy. Every time Zhao Yingyue stood up for herself, it was right as her mother looked and she was frowned upon for her negative behavior and "bullying" Gu Yan.

When Zhao Yingyue complained and tried to tell her mother what really happened, Gu Yan had always started crying on cue so her mother's attention would always be taken away. Obviously, the one who was crying must have truly been the wronged party after all, isn't that right?

It was clear to her now that Gu Yan had conditioned her mother since they were young and poisoned her opinion of Zhao Yingyue. Gu Yan had been scheming from such a young age. It's a horrible thought but both of these women were simply beyond redemption.

However, it all made sense once she thought of what Li Haoyu had told her the night before.

Still, Zhao Yingyue couldn't help but feel hurt. Even if she had realized her mother didn't love her, the length of her mother's disdain toward her had been so long. Gu Yanya had villainized Zhao Yingyue since she was only a small child while building Gu Yan up to an angel in her mind.

All because of Gu Yan's lies.

Zhao Yingyue took a deep breath before quietly asking, "Is that all you think of me as? Some unfilial bully who will target others for no reason?"

"Someone who doesn't value their own family or want to protect them? Someone who will only use their power to abuse others? Mother, am I that much of a failure in your eyes?"

Gu Yanya didn't even hesitate before she replied, "Yes."

"There are some days where I wish that I had never given birth to you. There are some days where I blame myself for not having been able to save you from the person you became as a young child."

"For those reasons, I won't allow you to marry into the Liu family. You can try to expose me but what good would there be in that? Who would believe you? Your dad has never even given your words a second thought when put against mine. Yingyue, you won't be able to win this battle."

"Don't you forget that Bai Xinyi was sent here to watch over you. That obviously means the Master and Madame Liu's don't trust you. All I have to do is give them a reason to not do so."

Zhao Yingyue remembered the countless times she'd complained to her dad only for her mother to minimize what she'd done and make it seem alright. Either that or her mother would completely lie to him. He had always, in the end, taken his wife's side over her's.

Zhao Yingyue smiled gently in an attempt to cover her inner pain. She had told herself that she would no longer allow this woman to hurt her but she was still her mother! She never thought that any mother could feel this way about their child but apparently, she was mistaken.

Somehow, Zhao Yingyue had maybe though there was some type of changing her mind or some piece of her mother that saw something, anything redeeming in her daughter, but that seemed to be an impossibility.

She held back tears as she mourned the woman she had known in her earliest years that had actually cared for and loved her. But if she was so easily manipulated, was any of that even true?

Zhao Yingyue was already this deep so there was no harm in asking.

"Mother, did you ever really love me?"

Gu Yanya replied, "Maybe back when you were small. Then you became this person who won't let anyone off even if they did nothing to you. Or maybe you were just always that way."

Zhao Yingyue slowly nodded before turning to look out the window in hopes it would cover the fact that she was blinking away tears.

"I get it, Mother."

"In your eyes, I'm irredeemable and will always be this terrible person. It doesn't matter how much I try to please you by running myself ragged everyday to maintain this image of being the perfect socialite. Or how much I try to protect you by covering the bruises left behind from your 'lessons'."

"It doesn't matter if I manage to get engaged to the eldest son of the most powerful family in this country. It doesn't matter if I put aside my wants for your or the betterment of this family."

"In your eyes, I will always be this vile creature. Everything I do is useless. From now on, I'll remember that I do not have a place in your heart and never will. Thank you for the clarity, Mother."

Gu Yanya spotted a tear rolling down Zhao Yingyue's cheek. However, she felt nothing when seeing it.

Instead, she said, "If things are clear then stop crying. It will ruin your makeup and if anyone sees, it'll be on magazine covers by morning."

Zhao Yingyue quietly blinked away the remaining tears that had welled up and lightly patted away the others that had slid down her cheeks.

"Sorry. Wouldn't want to do anything to further disappoint you, Mother."

She then picked up her phone and stopped the recording. She then switched to her camera and dug through her bag to grab her extra makeup supplies.

As Zhao Yingyue touched up her makeup, she hoped everyone would return soon. She wanted the day to be over with soon but she knew her mother had tricks up her sleeve.