Forbidden lust

Gun's POV

What's wrong with me?

I glance at myself in the mirror, as the embarrassment of what I just did, washed over me.

How can I act this way towards my kid brother?

I'm nothing but a perverted human who beats off the thoughts of his brother in the clothes he bought for him.

“You are a fool, Gun.” I hit my hand on my head, “you need to snap out of it.”

Tap might not be my biological brother, but he's my brother nonetheless.

I can't think of him that way.

He's just a cute boy who loves his brother, platonically. I'm Merely an older brother who thinks of his younger brother far more than he should.

“Brother?” Tap knocked on the door.

“I will be out in a minute.” I wash my face and made sure there was no residue of my 'shame' on me before I exited the visitor's bathroom I ran into.

“What's wrong? You left your food on the table without finishing it.”

“Nothing. I just felt like washing my face, that's all.” I said, as I tried not to look at the tempting clothes he was putting on.

The clothes I bought for him were practically a sin. It shouldn't be legal for him to wear such seductive clothes.

Yet, he doesn't know how seductive he is in those clothes.

“Oh,” he smiled brightly.

My heart started beating. The organ felt like it was ready to jump out of my chest.

“What are you doing?” I coughed to hide the embarrassment I felt.

It won't look good on me should he see how red my cheeks are.

“I'm through with washing. I just wanted to let you know I'm heading upstairs to my room.

Do you want me to help you with anything?”

“No. It's alright. I will just pack the plates.”

“Do you want me to wash the plates for you?” He offered with a bright smile on his face.

“It's okay. You don't have to bother about it.” I forced a smile.

Looking at the almost naked, cute boy in front of me, I had to fight the urge to run back into the bathroom and beat off it.

This is too much.

I don't think I can survive for long.

“What's wrong?” He took a step toward me, “are you okay? You look hot.”

“Don't come near!” I step back, with my eyes widened, “I will—” I hastily step back into the bathroom, “I need to wash my face!”

No.

You can't do this, Gun.

Tap might not be your biological brother, but he's your brother.

These unholy feelings I've had for him, for close to two years, have to be put a stop to.

I can't keep lusting over my baby brother who sees me as nothing more than a big brother.

“You have to let go of this infatuation. Tap is your baby boy.”

Yet, I can't keep my body and heart from reacting to him so strongly, it made me want to throw all caution to the wind, and go upstairs to his room.

No.

You have to snap out of it.

I clenched my hands into fists and turned my back to the door.

Tap is still a child.

Hell, he's not up to eighteen. Although he will be in a week.

Yet, I can't do more than stand by his side and lead him through the stuff of life.

*******

Tap's Pov

Brother has been acting a bit strange since he came out of the bathroom. His eyes constantly change course whenever I lock mine with his. It was as if he were embarrassed to look into my eyes, and that confuses me more than anything else.

“What's wrong, brother? Did I make you angry?” I pout, “I'm sorry.”

I don't know what I'm apologizing for, but I believe I must have done something to make my brother angry.

If not, why will he be acting a certain way towards me?

“I'm not angry with you, baby boy.” Brother ruffled my hair, “I'm only lost in thoughts. You don't have to worry about me.”

“Are you thinking about Dinma? Is that why your face is like that?”

I felt bad about that.

“You can't get back with her if it suits you.”

If staying with her will make my brother happy, then I will swallow my jealousy.

“Stop thinking about that, love. You are the not reason for this. Dinma and I might have dated longer than the others and I, but it's not because I love her. I just didn't have it in me to break up with her because I know how emotional she gets typically.”

Oh.

He didn't stay with her for long because he loved her.

“Don't you love her?”

“No, I don't. I don't love her.”

“You don't love her?” I place my hand under my jaw, “if you don't love her, does that mean you don't love anyone?”

“I do.”

“What?” I arch a brow at him.

“I have someone that I love.” Brother turned his face to the side and pretended as if there was something interesting that he was looking at.

“Who's that?”

My heart twisted at the thoughts of the one my brother loves.

Brother smiled sadly but didn't answer my question.

“Let's go. My friends are on their way. We will meet them at the bar.”

I know what my brother was aiming for, but I won't allow him to do that.

I need to know who my rival in love is. This way, I will know how to deal with the person.

“Who's she? Do I know her?”

Brother shook his head, “I don't know if you know them.”

“Oh, she's not in our school, then?” I fished for information.

“You can say that.”

“Are you planning on dating her?”

“I don't think the person I love, loves me back.”

Brother has a sad expression on his face. He looked sullen and forlorn.

“Oh. It's a one-sided love?”

Could it be that my brother is in the same situation as me?

“That's it.”