Ep 22 Finding Humanity

By the time Samael had made it up stairs Stella had already gone into her room and shut the door. He could hear the shower running in her room as he opened his door and walked inside his room. Samael did not waste much time getting changed and into bed.

Stella was sitting down on the floor of the shower when she heard Samael's door close. She was upset but could not put her finger on why, it was not the alcohol but she was a little drunk. Alcohol was something she did not have a high tolerance to and it did not help when she started to drink faster.

When at the bar she saw the woman moving closer to Samael and then started talking with him. Stella did not think anything of it but she did start to drink more the longer Samael talked to that woman. It also did not help when the soldiers came over and started to talk to them and he did not come over right away.

She just kept thinking about what happened at the bar, it would not leave her mind and only made her more upset. Stella did not know how much time she had spent in the shower. But by the time she shut the water off she had made up her mind and was going to talk to Samael.

Stella got out of the shower and grabbed her bathrobe, putting it on as she left the bathroom and approached the door that joined the two rooms. She opened the door slowly and looked around the room seeing that Samael had already gotten into bed. Stella walked into the room and slowly approached the bed.

As she got next to the bed she could see that Samael was laying down on his back and had not yet opened his eyes. Without putting too much thought into it, she got into the bed. But she did not just lay next to him. She needed to talk with him, so she moved over and sat on top of him.

"Are you alright?" Samael asked as Stella put her hands on his chest to help stabilize herself. With her hands on his chest her wet hair had covered her face and was slowly dripping water down onto him.

"No." Stella said as she closed her hands into fists.

"What is wrong?" Samael asked as he looked up at her still covered face.

"Why did you not sit with us at the bar?" Stella said, struggling to get the words out.

"Lucy does not like me so I thought it would be better if I did not join the three of you." Samael said.

"But what if I wanted you to join us?" Stella said as she started to cry.

"If you wanted me to join you, why did you not say anything?" Samael said.

"Why do you think I asked if you were ok with going with us? I wanted to have a nice night out with my friends and you." Stella said as she hit his chest with her hand.

"You should have told me ahead of time." Samael said as he grabbed her arms so she would stop hitting him.

"I should not have to tell you things like that," Stella said as she moved side to side trying to get her arms free from his grip.

"Stella, you are drunk. Get some sleep and we can talk in the morning." Samael said, trying to get her to calm down.

"No. I want to talk now." Stella said giving up on freeing her arms.

"If that is what you want." Samael said letting go of her arms.

"Is Angel here too?" Stella said as she put her hands back onto Samael's chest.

"No, I have blocked her out for now." Samael said as he fixed Stella's robe so it would not come open.

"Good. I don't want her to see me like this." Stella said as she looked into Samael's eyes.

"What did you want to talk about?" Samael asked as Stella moved her face closer to his.

"You have really pretty eyes. They are like a hidden gem that can only be seen in the moonlight." Stella said as she got close enough for her to feel Samael's breath on her cheek.

"Why do you like my eyes so much?" Samael asked, prompting Stella to stop moving, at this distance it was impossible for Samael to not smell the alcohol on her breath.

"Your eyes look so sad and tired, but have a glimmer of light behind all the darkness." Stella said as she pulled her face away from Samael's.

"I think you are the only person to ever look at my eyes this long." Samael said as Stella adjusted her position but remained sitting on top of him.

"Samael, why do you not have any scars? With how much you have been fighting I thought you would have at least one." Stella said as she looked over his chest and arms.

"Each time I went back for reconstruction they would remove the deep scars on my body." Samael said as Stella got off of him and laid down next to him resting her head on his right bicep.

"Why did you need reconstruction?" Stella asked as she got more comfortable next to him.

"It happened two times and they were both due to damages sustained on the battlefield." Samael said.

"Can you tell me about it?" Stella asked as she looked up at Samael's face.

"It is not a very pleasant story." Samael said in response.

"Then why don't you hold me so I don't get scared as you tell me the story." Stella said as she got as close as she could to him, leaving no gap between their bodies.

"Ok." Samael said as he moved his right arm so he was holding Stella's right shoulder. After he was holding her he started telling her the story.

The town of Lexstowe was known as objective 28,39 it was a small town near the industrial heart of the enemy nation. With it being so close to the industrial center it was not easy and they fought for every inch of ground. It was the job of the 184th to take and hold the city.

After weeks of prolonged fighting the 184th took the city but paid a high price. Over half the unit was lost during the battle. But the unit dug in getting ready in the event of a counter attack.

Much to the fear of the survivors a counter attack was spotted one day out. A fresh company of troops and armor was approaching, the news sent the leadership into a panic. The unit was ordered to retreat but they were going to leave a guard to hold the line as the unit pulled back.

I was left behind as the rear guard all by himself and given orders to hold the line till reinforcements arrived. I did not intend to back down because retreat was not something they did not teach us as shock troopers. With a whole day to prepare that is all I did as the other men left me behind.

"How could they just leave you behind like that?" Stella asked, interrupting his story.

"They were following orders, nothing more. Plus they never saw or treated me as if I was part of the unit. All shock troopers that were sent to the front were treated this way." Samael said in response to Stella's question.

"I am sorry to hear that. You can continue with the story." Stella said, prompting Samael to keep going.

Intel was spot on and the enemy unit arrived the next day in the morning and started their assault. I held the front of the town for the first three days before having to fall back when I ran out of ranged anti-armor munitions. But inside the town was when the combat got bad.

For days I was both hunted and the hunter. Squads would never return to base for I would have killed them on the patrols they took. But whenever they cornered me it would be a long lasting fire fight till they would retreat, and I would limp back to patch my wounds.

Shock troopers have many myths around us but the hunter of Lexstowe is true for it is me. For seven weeks I held that town, and for seven weeks it did not matter how many wounds I had I could not stop. Broken bones, gun shots, lacerations, shrapnel, and burns were a majority of the wounds I accumulated during that battle.

The battle only ended when reinforcements arrived at the city. Even the reinforcements did not know that I was the only one inside the town, they had been expecting to see the whole unit in the town. After giving my report to the commander of the inbound unit I requested assistance for headquarters.

"How did you survive that whole time?" Stella asked as he finished talking.

"I followed my training and kept up the fight. All the augmentations and armor helped to keep me alive during that time. The armor plates act as splints to hold my broken bones in place and the under suit helps seal up any bleeding wounds. It was not easy but I did what needed to be done." Samael said thinking back to all the damage that had been done to his body.

"It must have been painful to go through all of that." Stella said as she thought about it more.

"It was. I may be able to control the pain I feel, but I had to use the pain to stay awake and alert." Samael said thinking back to the feeling of running with a broken leg.

"So how did you get back home after the battle?" Stella asked as she started to fall asleep.

"They had to send a helicopter to pick me up from the front lines, for I was not able to make it back to base under my own power. That is why when I got back to base I needed to undergo reconstruction." Samael said thinking about the additional implants they added during the reconstruction at base.

"Did you get time to rest after the reconstruction?" Stella said barely being able to stay awake.

"No, after reconstruction I was sent back out onto the battlefield. I was one of the lucky ones, if I had been too damaged they would have just killed me." Samael said as Stella fell asleep. He remained awake for a time thinking about the past and all the shock troopers that had been lost.

His life had not been easy but it was the only thing he knew till now. He saved Stella due to his training. But why does he feel so open talking with her? Why is he going so far to help her out? Why is he almost blindly willing to follow her anywhere she goes?

Samael did not know the answers to any of the questions he just asked himself. It almost hurt his head thinking about it. None of it made logical sense, and that could be why it felt so natural to protect her. Thinking back on all the people he had listened to talk, he remembered hearing something that fit this situation.

He had overheard two soldiers talking about their wife's back home and how they would do anything to get back to them. Could his feelings be some kind of built in male instinct to protect someone of the opposite gender?

But that did not explain his openness with her about most of his life. It was only after the war and after seeing how people reacted to some things. That he learned how people see certain actions that needed to be taken to win a war.

Would Stella understand if she truly understood how much blood was on his hands, how much was from both combatants and noncombatants. This thought kept him awake all night wondering if this knowledge would make Stella abandon him just like the government did.