9

The butterflies in Saya's stomach went crazy, her head felt light and the world spun around in the absolute best way possible. For her, the moment could have lasted forever.

But after only a second, Wynn suddenly pulled away. Saya opened her eyes to see Wynn, looking back at her in pure shock.

"Wynn, what's wrong?" She asked carefully.

"Why did you do that?" Wynn's eyes were big and her voice shaky. Her breathing had sped up, but not in the same way Saya's had.

"I don't… You kissed me back, I-"

"No, No I didn't, I'm not… I'm going."

She stood up and shot one last look at Saya. Wynn's expression was hard to read. Then she started running, leaving Saya behind as quickly as she could. It didn't take long for her to completely disappear into the darkness.

For a millisecond, Saya thought about going after her, but she was already gone.

Minutes later, she was still processing what had happened. Wynn had kissed her back. She had felt it. Wynn had liked it, had wanted it. Saya was so sure of that. But then, why had she pulled away? Why had she ran? What if Saya was wrong. What if Wynn had not wanted it at all. What if it was her own fault? She had done it again, hadn't she?. She had made everything worse. She'd ruined something that hadn't even existed outside her own head. Every time. Every. Single. Time.

Saya suddenly felt how cold the night air around her had become. It was already late enough to start calling it early, and the sun was about to come up. She really had to get back to bed.

She made the walk back to the tavern. Her view was cloudy, her head felt foggy. Thoughts flashed through her head, one after the other. There was no keeping up with them, and all she could do was watch them fly in and out of view, again and again and again.

She entered the tavern building, opening and closing the door as quietly as possible, trying not to wake anyone. She was very surprised to see Bron, standing behind the bar cleaning one of the glasses with a towel. He looked up and raised his eyebrows at her.

"God, Saya, are you still up?"

"Are you up already?" She said in response, trying not to sound too far away from reality.

"I have to get the place ready for breakfast. I have to feed 19 overnight-guests this morning, you know. Including you, but you have to get to bed first. You look like a mess, and you're fighting Wynn this afternoon, remember? It's the fight everyone's been looking forward to. You have to be well rested."

"Right, Wynn." Saya said. She was determined not to start crying before she was upstairs, but now she felt the tears welling up behind her eyelids. "I really have to get upstairs, then. Could you wake me up around noon, maybe?" Her voice cracked on the last word, but Bron didn't seem to have noticed.

"I will, Saya, goodnight."

"Goodnight."

She walked up the stairs, opened the door to her room and stepped inside. The moment the door closed behind her, her knees gave out and she sunk to the ground. With her back resting against the door, the tears started flowing like waterfalls in a forest. The whole night flashed before her eyes and she could only wish she had never gone for that stupid walk. She could only wish she had never participated in the stupid tournament at all. She could only wish she had stayed home, with her mother in her own kingdom.

Warm, safe, but most of all, not lonely.

When she could finally move again, she took off the jacket and threw it on the floor. She wanted to stand up, but couldn't find the energy to, and instead she let herself lie down on top of her jacket, stretched out over the wooden floor. Only for a minute, she though. She would only lay here for a minute, and then she would get to bed.

But before she knew it, she was already fast asleep.