Chapter 5, Ren

My name is Ren Kobayashi, 15 years old and I love cute things. I love cutely drawn characters in manga, I love the little pendants that dangle from my school bag, I love my little fluffy stress sheep that I always push around when I'm stressed. I even got to change my uniform on request with cute intentions! Since then, I've been wearing a bowtie instead of a tie. Normally, bows are for female students and ties are for males - which is incredibly mean, everyone should be allowed to wear cute bows! Not only that, I ordered my jacket two sizes larger because I love oversized clothing - I feel so much calmer and more confident in it. And of course, another school sweater underneath - without cozy and layered clothes, I feel even more anxious than I would otherwise, which is a real disaster!

What I particularly love is 'Attention Catcher'. The first time I saw them, it was in online. Shortly after, I attended a concert by the Idol group and was mesmerized by the energy the members were spreading. The cute, eye-catching outfits, the complex choreography, the upbeat songs, the beaming smiles on their faces. It took my breath away and made me want to enroll in Sakuroko High School. And I actually managed to get in! I don't know how, I was so sure I wouldn't make it - the way I always screw everything up!

So I often see the talented members of the idol group from afar. I still admire them and listen to their music every day on the way to school - and whenever else I listen to music.

I love cute things and Ayaka Ayame is the cutest girl of 'Attention Catcher' and the center to boot! She's always the center of attention and constantly exudes confidence. Even her walk seems confident. She's even shorter than me, which I love in girls. I love her big, bright eyes and cute snub nose. I love her thin lips, which I would love to kiss. I love her messy short hair which looks so soft. I love her slim body, with few curves, which I would love to kiss at every part. I love her confidence, energy and openness. I love her loud and brave nature, which I would love to have too much. I love how she shines because she is meant to shine.

I have loved her for some time now, I can only think of her and often imagine how it would feel if her energetic smile was meant only for me. It would brighten my lonely day...actually I am not completely lonely. I have my parents who ask me every day how I'm doing and my pink cuddle pad who looks like a mochi. I can always rely on him!

But at school I feel lonely every day. I am very shy and often overwhelmed with many people. While my classmates form groups, I stay in my seat and look around uncertainly, not knowing what to do. Even when someone approaches me, I react dismissively, not knowing how to respond or worrying too much about saying the wrong thing. How others manage to approach strangers is a mystery to me, I am an introvert through and through. That's why I admire every person who is the opposite of me and can do what I'm not capable of.

As I do every day, I walk to school with my headphones on, the cheerful voices lifting my spirits as usual. Arriving at my locker, I change my shoes, take out my headphones, and turn around so Ayaka can run into me.

Bumps!

Violently, I bump my back against the locker and look in surprise at the girl who just ran into me. Her breathing is rapid, her head leaning exhaustedly against my chest as if she's about to fall over. Ayaka. Ayaka Kurumi Ayame. If I wasn't in such a state of shock, my cheeks would be red by now.

"A-a-a-all ok-ok...ay?", I ask, unsure of what to do in such a situation. What do you do when your crush comes running into you?

"Has school started yet?"

"...n-no."

"When does first period start?" her big pink eyes fix me with their intense gaze. Is this a dream or is this really happening right now!? I must be red as a tomato! What is happening right now!?

"Answer, I have to answer her question! Do it, Ren! I-i-in 5 min...min...n-minutes-s-s."

"WHAT!?"

Out of reflex, I cover my ears as Ayaka cries out and stands firmly on her own feet in one leap, her pink eyes looking at me in surprise. But the very next moment she drops onto her bottom and leans against the lockers, in an unladylike sitting position. I look to the side and want to go to my class just as quickly, but Ayaka's voice stops me, "Do you have anything to drink?"

"N-n-no...I-I have to-o g-g-go!"

"Wait! What's your name!"

"R-r-ren Koba...ya...sh-sh-shi!"

I mutter the last reply before hurrying to my class.

This was the first conversation with the girl I love. And it wouldn't be the last, as it turns out during lunch break. Before I can open my lunchbox, she is standing in front of my seat. My crush is standing in front of my seat looking at me intently. The next second, she grabs my hand and runs out of class with me.

What the hell is happening right now? My face is burning and I slowly realize that Ayaka is holding my hand and taking me somewhere, like in a manga. But this is real life! Here, otakus like me should only dream unsuccessfully of such a thing!

She leads me into the club room of her idol club and closes the door. What in the world is going on here? My heart seems to be trying to jump out of my chest, my head can't get a clear thought. I've just been kidnapped, like a hero, by his crush...what's going on?

Ayaka starts to dance. The dance steps from her solo song 'Look that way'. Then she starts to sing the lyrics of said song. Her voice sounds confident and full of life like every time, her movements are energetic and reflect her enthusiasm. I love it, I love her. She is so cute!

When she finishes, she prompts me, "Now you."

"What?"

"Your turn. Show me what you got."

So THIS is what happens when you get a kidnapped by your crush in real life.

My gaze wanders to the floor, "I-i...c...c...ca...n't."

"Yes, you can sing."

"...n-no."

"I heard you," Ayaka braces her hands on her hips and looks at me challengingly. "You were singing softly when I ran into you. And it was this exact song. You can sing!"

"...I was singing out loud? Really?"

My eyes stay focused on the floor and I take my Stress Sheep out of my back pocket. Small, cute, and efficient.

Ayaka continues to try to coax me, "You can do it, I know a good singer when I hear one. Now sing, come on."

What am I supposed to do? I can't possibly sing in front of a gifted idol like Ayaka! And I've only sung in front of my family so far, I can't just-.

Before I can finish the thought, Ayaka has already grabbed my sheep and put it in her jacket pocket.

"W-w-what-s that-s-s for?", I ask in amazement.

In response, Ayaka just grins and prompts me again, "Sing and you'll get it back."

Blackmail. Pure blackmail, like in my manga. What would a manga protagonist do at this point? Probably not comply and boldly get his stress sheep back....

"C-c-can...i-i...pl...please...g-g-get it...ba...back?", I ask quietly, once again cursing my speech impediment.

"For a song," I get in reply. 

Restlessly, I tug at my sleeve. Stay calm. Reason to stress, but stay calm.

The opening of the door makes me look up, Ayaka is standing by the door and says with a charming smile, "See you after school, I'll find a way to get what I want."

And off she went. With my sheep. Leaving behind confusion and a fast beating heart.

"What the hell just happened...?"