Where you there?

Xiran's POV 

Her screams had me jolted, she must have had another nightmare. Now I wondered if her nightmares revolved around her parent's death which had been caused by my father. She never opened up to me about her nightmares. Everywhere that man went, death followed. 

Now, I understood all her reactions, all her apprehensions, her need to get to the parties so she could seek him out, her mood swings, and her sufferings. The way she restrained herself to not give in to my temptations.

Her desperation to stay with me until she got what she was looking for. The way she had told me, she hurt people and I was better off without her. My eyes were opened to her inner battles and struggles which she must have fought, every day.

I now understood everything, crystal clear. 

Could I even blame her? If I was in her shoes, would I have done things differently? Probably not.