Chapter 4

"Selina, I have something I want to tell you," my mother says to me.

I look up from my mobile phone. "What is it?"

"Me, your father, Uncle and Auntie Khoo have planned for our families to go to Singapore together this upcoming holiday in December."

I'm excited. "Really? Are you serious?" I exclaim.

"Yes, and it's a 2 week holiday vacation!"

"Yay! I love it!" I holler.

I decide to text Xavier after.

"Hey, Xavier! Have you heard about it from your parents?"

"You mean, about.. Singapore? Yes, of course!"

"Yesssss! I'm so nervous! I hope we can go to Universal Studios."

"Me too! I can't wait to go on all the rides and eat the local delicacies!"

"Is Leo excited too?"

"Yes, he's already planning with my parents."

I can't believe we get to go to Singapore this year. Three years ago, we went to Indonesia together too. It was fun! We ate a lot of food, we bought merchandise and even had the time of our lives sightseeing. I hope this time, it's the same.

***

We are coming back from Singapore. It was the best time of my life so far. The rides at the amusement park was thrilling and exciting. I loved the food they have in the country.

"I can't believe we're going back already. It felt so short," Xavier announces.

"Yeah. Wish we could have stayed longer," Leo says. "What did the both of you do in the hotel the other night?"

"Oh, that night.." I mumble.

"Don't tell him," Xavier orders.

That night..

Well, we were just listening to music in Xavier and Leo's room in the hotel. We started half singing and screaming to the songs we were listening to. For example, Memories by Conan Gray, Follow You by Imagine Dragons, See You Again by Charlie Puth featuring Wiz Khalifa, and more.

We had so much fun just staying in the hotel. This was the time when I could spend quality time with my family and Xavier's, and especially with Xavier himself.

***

15 days later.

Today is Derrick's birthday. I'm planning to buy him a bracelet made up of crystals. I've gotten into crystals and their significance recently and I'm buying him a string of clear quartz from Sésu Jewellery. From what I know, clear quartzs have a healing quality and it should be good for anybody. I'd like him to be healed from his wounds he had gotten from his ex-girlfriend.

Derrick has been my boyfriend for almost more than a year and he has been a sweet, caring, mature and kind boy. I really love him. I never regretted accepting his proposal.

He would be having a birthday party at his house which is 20 minutes away.

I get into a blue dress, straighten my hair, and wear light make up. I take the small box that is from Sésu. It's 6:35 pm and Derrick's party will be held at 7:30 pm. My father is bringing me to the party, together with Xavier and Catherine who is already at his house.

We leave the house.

"Hello, Uncle Tee," Xavier says as he gets into the car and Catherine repeats after him.

"Hello, Xavier and Catherine."

My father knows of Catherine as he and my mother have met her before.

"What did you get him, Selina?" Catherine questions.

"A bracelet. I picked clear quartz for him."

"Why clear quartz?" Xavier asks after.

"It has healing properties, that's why."

"Oh. Okay."

Catherine compliments me. "That's really nice of you, Selina." She smiles. "I bet you love him these days."

"Yes," I say. "What did you get him?"

"Xavier and I got him two books."

"What kind of books?"

"One self-help book and one fantasy book."

"Oh, I think he'd love it!"

"Yes, that's great!"

We reach Derrick's house and we say goodbye to my father.

"Have fun!" he tells us.

We ring the doorbell of the house and Derrick opens the door.

He greets us and gives me a peck on the lips after we hug.

"I got this for you," I say to him. "I hope you like it." I give him a smile.

"Thanks, Selina." He gives me another hug.

"We got this for you," Catherine continues.

"Thanks to both of you." He gives both of Xavier and her a hug too.

We walk into the living room and there are 9 people here already. Derrick told me it would be a small party. I don't know if it's small or big.

We have a great time at the party. We played board games, drank alcohol, had a karaoke session and ate delicious food. The party ended at 12 am.

Catherine's parents came to pick her up, while my father came to fetch me and Xavier. He asks us if we had fun and I tell him everything.

During the car ride, Xavier and I are quiet. I don't know what he's been thinking but he hasn't said anything. I just notice that he's a little drunk. I drank just two glasses of alcohol, but I do think I feel a little tipsy.

"Are you okay, Xavier?" I ask him.

"Yes, of course. I couldn't drink as much as I wanted to."

"You shouldn't drink that much. You know I don't like it -"

Suddenly, I feel a force on my lips. I realise Xavier is kissing me. My heart drops a little and I start getting nervous and anxious at the same time.

I remember that I have a boyfriend. I feel slightly upset. Xavier is always like this.

I glance at my father. He seems to have seen it.

"I'm sorry," Xavier says. I'm not sure if he's saying it to me, my father or to both of us.

We reach his house and he leaves the car after saying goodbye to us. His father had come out to get him.

"He drank a little too much tonight," my father told him.

They give each other a look.

"Yeah, it seems so."

***

I ask my father as we enter the house. "Dad, did you see what happened in the car just now?"

"No, what happened?" he lies.

I feel sad. When Xavier kissed me, my heart tingled. What does that mean? I love Derrick, I know that but..

Xavier has been my best friend. However, during these few months, it has been different. A lot has happened. I've always seen him as my best friend and brother too, but I guess it's not true.

What should I tell Derrick? I cheated on him with Xavier. What about Catherine? I've grown to like her.

I tell Derrick what happened the next day and I suggest for us to break up. I'm bawling my eyes out. I love Derrick too, but I can't believe it. I realise I love Xavier too. I can't do this to Derrick, I tell myself.

I try to talk to Xavier after the incident.

"I broke up with Derrick."

"Is it true?" His tone of voice is indifferent and cold. It's the first time I've heard it.

"Yes..?" I mumble. "I want to know what it meant -"

"No, I don't want to talk about it."

"Do you like me?" I ask him with a serious tone.

"No, I don't. I love Catherine."

"But -"

"No, it didn't mean anything. I was just a little drunk."

I'm getting mad. "You know, I broke up with Derrick because of that!"

"It's your problem! You broke up with him. What has that got anything to do with me?"

"How can you say that? You're so irresponsible!"

"I'm not irresponsible. Nothing happened, I said. I was just a little drunk."

He leaves me alone confused and upset with myself. I can't believe it meant nothing to him.

***

We haven't spoken for at least 4 to 5 years.

I am currently attending Universiti Brunei Darussalam. I'm taking Sociology and Anthropology. I'm loving it so far.

I happen to hear from my mother that Xavier is back in the country for awhile. I don't seem to care.

I receive a text. It's from Xavier.

"Hey, Selina."

He's texting me. I'm still upset after all these years.

"Hey," I text back.

"Do you want to hangout some time?"

"Yes." I do miss him occasionally.

We hung out the next day, at The Mall Cineplex again and hug for the last time before we go home separately in our cars.