Trial 1 - Part 2: Our True Nature Is Often Bloody

It came closer.

It would make the first move. I felt its presence - but not its touch. I could not make out where it was or even if it was breathing; in this moment I felt its coldness, but not what it was made of.

This creature, this entity, whatever it was, seemed to be so far from me that it was simply a myth. In all reality, if I were to reach out and touch this thing, it would crumble like a pile of dust before my very eyes; there would be nothing left of this creature, nothing, if there even was a creature there.

A second scream arose from my mouth, but it was so deep and so gut-wrenching that it sent me to my knees. I had never experienced anything like it in my entire life, nor could I compare it to anything that I ever knew of. It was so visceral, so raw, so painful, so heart-wrenching, that it almost drove me insane; it shook me to my core. No, no, I had no doubt that this thing was out to destroy me.

I screamed again. It seemed to pierce the very air I breathed. My lungs were on fire - it was as if it would burn me to nothingness. I had never known what it was to lose control; I was not one to lose it. That, I knew, this entity could hurt me, and worse, could kill me. I was terrified. There was no way that I could escape its wrath; there was nothing I could do about it except to fight like hell.

There is a power in strength; it is a power I have known. I am strong, but my strength is not without its frailties; I have known since the very beginning of time, I have known. This beast, this beast within me, this beast had come at me with all its might, and I had never known it could hurt me, hurt me so. It hurt me on so many levels. My head throbbed and my heart raced; sweat ran down my face, from every pore of my body.

Scratching and roaring, I could hear it approaching closer. It was relentless, and it was coming faster; my head swam and my heart felt as if it would burst. I could no longer see it; I could not make out where it was. What I could see was the blackness that loomed before me. The darkness was so dense that my heart wanted to stop beating; I could no longer hear my heart beating - it was like it had ceased to exist. It was my very life, my very existence, that was racing away like a train leaving me behind.

It was there I saw it then, a fellow participant - A man in a red Hawaiian shirt, his face that the same of me, a wild pig. I could not see his eyes, but I could make out what he looked like; and it looked as if he had blood all over his face, his clothes. His chest puffed out as if he was about to take off his shirt. The more I looked at him, the more I could see that he too was struggling with the demons that plagued him.

The pig stood in front of me; its face was all bloody. Its lips curled up at its mouth, revealing its white teeth. It was as if it was about to snarl at me. I was about to scream, but I did not. I could not scream, not then; there was something too raw within me. Something that craved blood.

It was a craving that I had never experienced before; and now that I was experiencing it, I could not deny it. Something within me wanted to taste blood - to taste it, to suck it out, to make it my own. There was nothing that I could do about it. It had taken hold of me, and I could no longer fight it; I was a thing no more. I could fight no longer.

The man approached closer, his eyes seemed to see right through me, looking through me to the core of who I was, I could not fight it. The more I looked at him, the more I saw what was happening in his eyes. He saw what was to be done; he was an accessory, a fellow participant, if I could call him that. And I did, for I could feel his presence; he could feel the same, but he did not struggle against it. Instead, he stood there with an evil grin on his face, as if he was looking forward to the inevitable.

The monster within me wanted to do it. And what made it all the more real, what made it all the more terrifying, was the fact that it did not even care. No, it did not even care. It wanted me. It wanted blood, and it wanted my blood. It did not want to consume me, it just wanted me to bleed. It did not want to suck my blood - it just wanted to taste it. I was so scared; I could not tell where it came from. I knew it was something inhuman, that it was something that I should not mess with; and yet, I could not help it. I could not fight it.

There was no doubt that I was ready to make the first move. I would do it, and that very moment, I made the decision. It did not matter whether it was a human or a pig; no matter what form it would take, I could not tell. I had to have blood. I had to. It had a hold of me; it had a grip on me.

I started to approach the man, both of us keen on offing the other. The air was tense, yet exhilarating. In this very moment, there was no doubt that we were about to strike. We had been born as pig; we had both been born to be killed by each other. We had come to kill each other - and we were going to make the first move.

I ran at him with blood on my face, my body covered in blood. My eyes burned as the beast in me took control. I started to eat the man's blood, but I could not; I could not stop myself. The beast seemed to consume me; and even now I could feel my bones, they were becoming soft, they were turning to mush. And the worst part of all was that it did not care; it did not care. There was nothing I could do about it. I could only try to protect myself - I was losing control, losing myself.

The man made the first move, and his fist made a direct hit to my stomach, breaking through my defenses and piercing me. I had not been expecting it, nor had I prepared for it. I had not even known that he was going to do it, yet it still came as a shock. The blow felt like I had been hit by a car, did the mask give him super strength? Or was he just naturally strong? But I would not, I cannot die! Not like this! I have to live! It was all the more confusing because the pain that I was experiencing was excruciating; and at the same time, I felt a different kind of pain, a deep, dark pain, a pain so deep that I would not ever be able to recover from it. I still felt the beast within me - even if I did not want it to be there; I could not keep it at bay, it wanted to destroy me; and it did. I was in such pain. I felt as if it were consuming me. It was as if the beast was devouring me.

I grabbed the man's face, clawing as if I was a wild animal, as if I was attacking my fellow predator; the man was no longer a man; he was no longer anything but a piece of flesh that I could destroy. Even as I did it, I was screaming out my head - it was just a reflex, but I did not stop. The beast inside me was feeding on his blood; he was all the more vulnerable. I could feel it, I could feel it in my pores, the beast wanted to make the first move - it wanted the kill. I could feel it crawling through me; I could feel it wanting to make the kill; it wanted to make the kill, and the more it did, the more it felt the pain. And the more it felt the pain, the more it craved blood. It was not only the man, I could feel it in my being, it was craving human blood, and the blood in my body was now becoming a red liquid, one that I could not fight; it had taken control.

The man could not fight it; the fight had already been lost. All he could do was stand there, he could do nothing to resist it. He felt as if he was about to pass out; he could not comprehend what was happening. For the first time, he felt pain; the pain that he had been enduring was nothing compared to the pain that was now eating through his body, and it was a pain he could not survive. He was about to die; and he did not even care. I grabbed the man's head, biting into his savory meat; his jugular - And like a fountain of blood, it poured a bright crimson red. His eyes faded into nothingness. He was dead for sure.

I had just killed someone... Holy shit.