Decision

~Noelle~

Pacing back and forth in your office is the first sign of madness. I read that today. Kiki thought it would be a fun poster to have. Ugh.

I feel itchy. Has this shirt always been this short? I need less sleeves.

I grimaced, listen to yourself Noelle, the shirt doesn't even have sleeves. Okay. New plan. Take less showers. And sleep more. Maybe I can wash his scent off.

What is wrong with me?

Everything. Since I slept in Dante's bed, and woke up alive on it, my mind and body have been battling with something.

Just today, I woke up to find my underwear completely soaked. I've never peed myself in my sleep before but it doesn't look like it's going to stop happening any time soon. Am I bewitched? Do witches even exist? The weather is cooler today, and yet my whole skin is burning up.

I have to talk to someone soon. I can't stop this all by myself. My eyes narrow at my arm. The usually pale skin now a bright dust of crimson.

A knock to the door stops me, and my foot taps the floor itching to keep moving.

"C-come in."

The wood creeks as it's opened, and I smile at the woman that pops her head in. Ginny waves her free hand to me, the other holding a plastic bag. No paper bags are allowed in the pack. Plastic is reusable, so it's more beneficial to have around. That is what kiki told me.

Dante is smart. Makes a lot of good calls. He is also warm. And hard. Very hard to hold. He might be more metal than man. Some parts of him are soft but others are mmm.

And he is empty in the eyes. I like that.

No!

This is another issue. A few days have passed since that frightening encounter, and I have developed this stupid obsession for all things Dante. Like I now know his favorite book. Least favorite too. I poked Lynx for the information. My head is always fucked up whenever I get a bit of his musk.

It's too hot.

"Ah-ha! That's what smells so good. Little lady, is there something we should talk about?" Ginny's lashes dance up and down. She shimmies into the office, the door closing on its own. Micah sneezes, but doesn't move an inch from her spot by the window.

She's supposed to be my companion but I swear. This dog is sassy and she cares only about naps, and food.

I wield my body to stop being a hazard, and greet Ginny. Be normal. Stop moving.

I recoil at the idea of being in a single position, but do it nonetheless.

"Hi, Ginny, what brings you here?"

She shrugs, aligning a set of small rectangular containers on the desk. Which is just empty and there for fancy. There's a tremble in my chest, and I hurry to take my seat before my legs cave.

"I was thinking about you. Thought I'd bring you something nice to eat. But you reek of pheromones, whoof! I think the people down the hall can smell it. And it isn't really good for you do that."

I sniffed the air, smelling nothing but my body wash and Ginny's cherry perfume. As well as the food, and Micah's dog breath. I brushed her teeth yesterday, she surprisingly didn't fuss about it. Other than those scents, I can't perceive anything else.

Tugging the top of my shorts, I crossed one of my legs over the other. Bouncing a little on the seat from something. Like I said, I'm not myself. I can't stay still.

"What pheromones?"

Ginny's laughter makes my ears burn with embarrassment. I'm aware that there are certain things I don't know. It happens when you've lived alone. If it weren't for my parents I wouldn't even know English. Or how to read. And I can't write very well. So there are still so much that eludes me.

"You're in what we call a heat my dear. Or pre heat wave. Meaning your actual heat is yet to come. Seeing as you're a Luna, pretty soon, those men and women out there are going to have a serious problem with you."

Tension rolls through my shoulders as I absorb her words. "Why would- heat?" Dante said this is when the infection makes people really horny.

And it chooses now? This week. To show up?

You've done it again world. I am indeed, the queen of bad luck. For most people, this would not happen on a bad week. But not for me. Once shit that's getting really bad, I should just know, something worse is about to join the party.

"Because, you scent is far better. Than others. You smell, rich, full of honey. Delicious honey. Makes people want to have a bite. And while I trust us to control our urges against others in heat, I fear I cannot say the same for you. The Luna."

I swallowed, reaching for the flask next to one of the containers. Cranberry juice, yum.

"Slow down. Don't drink it all. We need you to eat something, then find your alpha. Alright?"

I let out a scoffing sound, slamming the metal flask to the timber wood. "Dante? You think, he will help me with this heat? I woke up soaked in sweat, and what I'm sure was pee. Even though it didn't smell like it."

I can see her trying to hold back her laugh. "Oh you are precious. Do you know anything of sex?"

Leaning into the chair, I tried to remember what my mother taught me of it. Nothing at all. I learnt about sex through a book, a novel. A romantic tale of who knows what, but it did have some strange descriptions. Like for example, I don't know what a Doggystyle is but I've been under the assumption that it can't be pleasant for humans to be trying dog related things.

Don't get me wrong, I know what sex is… do I?

Ah! You've gotta be kidding me. I know it involves people's genitals, and that most certainly can't be fun. Or enjoyable like the books. I saw something like that during my horrid walk past the baton boys camp grounds. I know the woman wasn't happy with it. And I think I'd rather burn with this heat than test this sex thing.

If those shrimps could do so much harm to that one girl, imagine a man of Dante's size. Death, immediately. I won't even last a minute.

"Noelle, your innocence is adorable. But I think your idea of sex is flopped. Do kids say that?"

"You can't expect me to know." There must be another way.

"True. Well that wasn't pee. I'd say you had a wet dream, and I can bet I know who was the star of it." She winks. Why did she wink? Is it like code for something?

"A wet dream? Like a dream that makes you wet?"

Ginny slaps a hand over her mouth that doesn't even hide her laugh. Am I a comedy act? I seem to make people laugh and like me. A man came in today, he wanted to get back his father's old mattress from his ex wife- I don't understand that sentence myself- and when I told him to just let her have it. He laughed and said, "you're funny. I like you."

At the end, I ordered the woman to return it. In rights, it was his first.

But I still didn't get it. What was so funny about what I said?

"I'm sorry, darling. You are precious. A wet dre- I'm sorry. You have to ask Dante about it. Let me just tell you. You are in good hands. Just go home before it gets worse. If someone knocks and they look at you funny, or with hunger-"

Imagine if Dante could look at me that way. I would lose my mind. That would be the final step for me. I don't trust him, I'm certain that I don't. I believe that. This heat. It needs to go. I'm tired of having this internal struggle.

I want to give in to these urges. Why? The virus is stronger than I thought.

"Okay. I don't think I have any one coming in for the rest of the day, so I might just go pick up Lynx."

Ginny bobs her head in agreement with what I said. "Take the food too. I brought it for you anyways. I'm sure you'll love the pecan pie."

"You can bake pecans with pie?"

She chuckles, "You're adorable, sweetie. I'll be on my way."

What did I say wrong?

I packed the meals back into the plastic bag, and tapped my thigh to wake Micah. Thankfully she was in a light nap. Getting her to stand up didn't take much persuasion. When stepping out into the hall, the people here are usually doing something. Though I don't know what exactly.

I know there's a room downstairs that houses the pack's watchers. They group every day to select who will be on night duty, and where. The others, I don't know what they do.

This time, they're staring at me. Watching each step I take so intensely, I have to wonder if there's something on my face. It must be the heat Ginny was talking about.

Ignore them, Noelle.

I rode on Micah's back, she's big enough to carry me which is a good thing. My legs can't walk for long. For once my vision isn't blurry, or showing me freaky things that aren't there. While I appreciate that, every other part of my body is in trouble.

Lynx was waiting outside Milo's house alone. I checked for an adult, but I found no one.

"Hey?"

"Hi. Milo fell ill, his mom had to end things early. I'm glad you're here. I was about to start walking." Her braids bounces with the wind, her bare toes crunch up gravel on the floor.

"Micah, lay down." She barks, but obeys. Lynx climbs on, sitting between my legs. She winds her arms around mine, and orders Micah playfully to take us home.

My stomach grumbles, I need food. I need water. My chest pangs, air is becoming difficult to bring in.

Just hold on a little longer, I tell myself.