Indescribable emotions

Chapter 5

A few hours ago…

"I have my rights! I want to hire a lawyer! I'm going to sue you, assholes," Louise screams from behind bars. She rattles them and tries to grab the nearest police officer.

"I won't let you off," she huffs in anger. Louise kicks the iron bars, and screams in pain as one of her toenails hits the steel. "Oh, shit, shit!"

Jumping up and down, she grabs her hurting foot before slumping on the small bench. Louise takes off her boots and checks on her toenail with tears in her eyes.

Louise has a secret: she's susceptible to pain… and pleasure. On a scale of one to ten, if others are on level five in the pain scale, she's on ten. The same goes for pleasure. She has been keeping this secret for a long, long time now.

"Oh… oh…" her moans of pain fill the cell as she bends to touch the poor big toe. "Huhuhu… I hate you, Mr. Police officer!"

The officers laugh at her antics, shaking their heads. One of them takes out his baton and smashes it on the lock, creating a sharp, grating sound. Louise flinches." Behave yourself; how dare you attack a senator's son?"

"So what?" Despite trying to act bravely, her confident front shatters because she chokes in pain. "They didn't make the law."

"Law? Power and money are the law. If you have that, we can probably let you go."

Louise frowns as she calmly sits on the floor in the corner. I can't force the officers, she sighs, thinking to herself.

Hugging her legs, she stares at the moving people. They don't even bother to look at her.

Fortunately, she's alone in her cell with none the wiser about who she is. The station bustles with people even though it's deep into the night. Taking her phone out from her back pocket, she scrolls through her contacts.

"Who should I call?" Louise murmurs.

Mom… she'll probably faint from the shock if she finds out what happened to me.

Dad… he'll ground me for months. Louise bites her lips, shaking her head as she fights the urge to call her parents.

Jose… he'll make me work like a slave in his company.

Diego… he'll be very disappointed in me. She sighs.

Harold… my third brother, will definitely force me to get my Ph.D.

William… he's probably unreachable. I don't even know what part of the world he's in now!

Her family isn't an option. Louise takes a deep breath, continuing to check on her phone. She has been keeping her racing career a secret from her parents, and only her third brother Diego, the professional athlete in the family, knows about it.

Mom will freak out for sure, she murmurs.

If they find out, the consequences will be unbearable. They'll dig out whatever happened to Louise in the past few years. She kept her secret well with the help of her friends… and Axel.

"Should I call Axel?" But he's probably with someone right now. Frowning, Louise dismisses the idea. She doesn't want to owe him more.

As for other friends, didn't the girls leave her alone? She's still angry at them. The most logical choice is to call Lea, her secretary-cum-manager and friend.

She dials Lea's number, and luckily, she immediately answers, but no one speaks.

"What happened?" she looks at her mobile and check's the volume and signal. It's fine.

"Lea?" she calls out, and a muffled voice answers.

"What?" She intently listens and finds out the muffled words aren't for her. A man's groan echoes through the phone.

R-18! She's not prepared for this, so her cheeks uncontrollably heat up.

"Lea!" she screams in frustration. The urge to hang up is killing her, but she needs help.

"What?" Lea answers, panting. "Don't you know what time it is? Please, don't tell me you're in trouble…." Lea trails off, a chilling cold crawling on her spine. What bad premonition!

She's in trouble, right? Lea asks herself, biting her lips. Without waiting for Louise's reply, she rants.

"Did you forget that the international racing championship is just right around the corner?" Lea snaps. Insanity threatens to consume her as she thinks about what to do. "Reputation matters! How about the offer to be an ambassador? You said to me you want it?! If your image stinks, how can you get it? Didn't you want to surprise your parents and make them proud? What the hell are you doing right now?"

Lea spews words non-stop like an automatic machine gun, but Louise stays silent.

"I beat up a senator's son!" Louise says, rubbing the space between her eyebrows.

Lea lets out a violent gasp, almost fainting on the spot. "A senator's son?! You dare? God, Louise, last time you almost got involved with the mafia! Aren't you going to learn from your mistakes? Do you want me to die early? I swear to God, I'll resign if you're only going to kill me like this!"

With another lengthy speech, Louise feels like dying from her constant nagging.

"I'm sorry…" she murmurs, trying to appease her. "I need your help…."

"As much as I would like to help you… I'm out of the country!" Lea says. "I left the country after I confirmed that you have arrived at your place!" Louise can hear the sarcasm in Lea's voice.

Louise lied to her. Again.

"I have a life, you know? My boyfriend is here, and we're having fun. How can you disturb us?!" Lea continues.

Irritation scratches Lea's heart like a hungry cat. She really wants to spend time with her beloved.

"Are you flaunting because I'm single?" Louise shouts, grimacing. "I might be single, but I'm not miserable. What am I supposed to do? Get me out of here, please!"

Before she receives an answer, static echoes in her ears. Louise curses wildly, and because of that, the police officer confiscates her phone.

"How am I going to call anyone if you get my phone? Hey!" No one listens to her screams, and eventually, she gets tired and sleeps on the floor until daybreak.

Then, she manages to borrow from a policewoman who pities her. She calls Axel the person she didn't want to involve the most after her parents.

*****************

Present

The deafening silence inside the car makes Louise uncomfortable. Great, he has another bullet against me.

She fidgets on her seat, her foot tapping on the floor. Axel isn't saying anything but keeps sighing, adding to the pressure. What the hell does he want?

On edge, Louise breaks the silence, "Axel—"

He cuts her off, "So, what did you do? You beat up a senator's son, Louise? And what is this?" Axel's eyes roam over her, his finger pointing at her clothes.

She frowns. What's wrong with her top and jeans?

Axel's eyes make her feel small. She clenches her hand.

"Axel, I just went out like any other normal girl. It's not my fault that asshole is a pervert!" Louise exclaims. She feels like he's blaming her!

Anger swells in her heart. Axel has a way of making her feel that it's always her fault whenever something happens. They always fight because she feels irritated whenever she sees his face or acts like this.

"But you miss him when he's not around," a small part of her whispers, but she doesn't acknowledge it. She abruptly turns away, not wanting to look at his glowering face, or she might lose her shit.

"This doesn't explain anything! Don't you even know what trouble you got into?" he clenches his fist as he tries to control his temper.

"Why are you still asking when you won't believe me, Axel?" Louise snaps at him. "Do you think I did that because I wanted to?"

Blood rises to her cheeks, painting them a beautiful color of red. Axel looks away from the sight, feeling suffocated in his chest. What is wrong with me?

"Why do you always assume that it's my fault?" she asks, her voice shaking in anger. "That man touched me!"

Axel frowns, getting angry at himself but getting more frustrated as he looks at Louise. "Then why did you dress up like this?"

He points at her clothes. She's not wearing her jacket.

Louise pales after hearing him, then snickers, "Oh, God. Do you seriously think it's my fault I dressed up like this? So, how about all your other girls with tiny pieces of triangles covering their important bits parading before you?"

"Don't bring them into this, Louise. This is about you!" Axel runs his fingers on his hair. He doesn't like Louise dressing up like this. Just thinking about all the men who saw her wearing this last night leaves a sour aftertaste in his mouth.

Shit, am I jealous? He vehemently denies the thought. Never!

"So now it's all about me? Axel, look around you. All girls dress like this!" Louise hisses at him.

"You should behave yourself, Louise. Didn't you want to win the NASCAR championship? With your reckless attitude, you won't even get to see the tail of it," he says through clenched teeth.

"What do you know?" Louise withers in her seat, recalling her talk with her manager. She'll lose her shot at joining the race if she gets into trouble again.

Taking a deep breath, she calms herself. This isn't the time to fight with Axel; after all, he's the one helping her get out of this mess.

Pregnant silence ensues inside the car for a few minutes. Axel sighs before opening his mouth, saying, "If you want me to help you cover this up, I need you to do something."

"What is it?" Louise asks; she has this sense of foreboding that it won't be something she'll like. Her heart races, and her palms grow cold.

"Let's get you home first." Axel rubs his forehead, not knowing how to say this to her. He wants to end their farce of an engagement, but he can't do it alone. He needs her to cooperate.

This is going to be the last time he's helping Louise. They're ultimately walking on different paths. Maybe… the time has come to finally say goodbye and separate their fate.

Forever.

"You're such a misogynistic prick with a stick up his ass," Louise murmurs while pretending to look outside.

"What?" Axel snaps. "I think I heard the word misogynistic."

"Yes, you did!" Louise rattles on. "Just tell me what you want, Axel. There's no need to prolong the inevitable."

"What do you think I'm about to ask, Louise?" Axel throws his tie to the side, feeling suffocated.

"Sometimes you're so agreeable, but most times you're like this! Like…like…" he lets out an exasperated sigh.

"What am I then?" They're back to square one again. "Do you know what you sound like? You sound like my father. You're way younger, though. Do you think you're my dad?"

"I'm not your dad, Louise." A vein ticks on his temple. "You, see, Louise, I'm your goddamn fiancé, and I deserve some goddamn respect!" he snaps.

"Fiancé? Is this talk about being my fiancé? What did I do wrong? Have you ever acted like one?" she scoffs.

Axel's face darkens. She gasps when he drags her to him, and she stumbles on her feet as the car swerves.

"Oh God!" she groans, then immediately freezes when she realizes she's in between his legs. And her hands are on his crotch, her face on the same level.

Swallowing her saliva visibly, Louise tries to move away, but he clamps her between his legs.

"What-what are you doing?" she stutters. "Let me go."

Squirming, she tries to distance herself, but Axel's face is growing darker by the seconds, with increasingly unreadable emotions painting his face.

What the hell is wrong with this bastard?

"Are you trying to take advantage of me?" he whispers.

"What?" her face reddens. "You're the one who doesn't want to let me go!"

"Louise…" he sighs, looking conflicted before opening his legs and letting her go. She jumps away, moving to the edge of the seat.

"There's no way I'm going to take advantage of you!" she looks at her trembling hands. We were so close.

The beating of her heart is like thunder clashing in her ears. The atmosphere in the car thickens.

"You asked me if I ever acted like your fiancé?"

Louise turns to him, her heart trembling because of the desire on his face. What? Why is he looking at me like that?

Holding her breath, Louise is about to go crazy because he's closing in on her. He's occupying her space, enveloping her with his presence.

"What are you doing, Axel?" the tell-tale quiver in her voice betrays her real feelings as much as she tries to act nonchalant. "Stay away. Don't think of doing anything funny!"

Holding her palms up to drive him away, Axel brings them to his chest. She gasps as she feels his beating heart, loud and clear.

They're very close, their faces only a hairsbreadth apart. What's going on? she asks herself.

Louise's mind spins like crazy, turning over and over. Axel draws closer, his eyes on her lips. She stiffens, rooted on her spot. Everything is magnified in front of her, and Axel looks more handsome than ever.

His eyes are like melted chocolate, dripping with sweetness and soaking her in it.

"What are you doing, Axel?" she asks, barely audible.

He caresses her face and says, "This is what engaged couples do, Louise. I doubt you'll want me to act like this."

Axel moves away as if nothing happened. As if their closeness was just a demonstration of some sort a minute ago.

Humiliation courses through her veins, and her hands shake more. What? Did I expect something else to happen?

"Of course not!" Louise glares at him, feeling angry at herself. "There's no way I'll ever want you to do this, Axel."

"Good." Axel loosens the buttons on his jacket and orders the driver to stop. "I change my mind. Get out. I'm not bringing you home. You're an adult, not an eight-year-old child incapable of finding her way."

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Stomping her feet, Louise asks in irritation. "Are you PMSing or something?"

"Get out, Louise, before I do something we'll both regret," Axel states, staring into her eyes.

She sees a familiar emotion brewing in those eyes— desire.

The car barely stops, but Louise has already opened the door and jumps out as if her pants are on fire. Perhaps it's best to run away as far away as possible.

Watching the car disappear on the busy road of NYC, Louise murmurs in a soft voice leaking with untold feelings, "Axel…."

What should I do when you make my blood boil with excitement like you're some sort of adrenaline? I think I'm doomed.