Nine

"The sun watches

what I do,

but the moon knows

all my secrets."

-JM Wonderland

-Callie-

I haven't had a job interview in years, so along with my daily antidepressant I went ahead and took an extra Xanax to calm my nerves. I had received a call back from the breakfast diner just a few hours after I turned in my application, and while I was extremely nervous, I was well ready to be distracted.

I wore some old black slacks I had buried in the back of my closet and a long sleeved button up sweater. I felt like a teacher, but I really wanted the job so I figured it was best to overdress instead of underdress.

To my relief, the interview ended up being short and straight to the point, and I was offered the job on the spot. The manager was a stern but kind older woman that seemed to desperately need the help, so I of course accepted and she gave me a start date for the very next day to begin training with her nephew. I wondered if her nephew was the man with the torn knuckles..

I texted Brandon that I got the job as soon as I left the interview, and he congratulated me. To my relief, he didn't bring up my schooling and what I was going to do about it. I planned on officially quitting, and It was a huge weight off of my shoulders when I threw my notebooks into the trash. It was so freeing because I didn't have my mother in my ear telling me it was the wrong decision.. I could just decide myself.

Does this mean I get a pancake discount?

I smile at the words on the screen from Brandon and put on the only pair of hole-less jeans that I own accompanied with a black v-neck. It was my first day, and I didn't want to stand out. I wanted to look as simple as possible and blend in. I dread newness, I prefer for things to stay the same so I can know what to expect at all times. It's boring, perhaps even a little insane, but I despise change. I fear it.

I drove to my new job with the radio off, focusing only on my intrusive thoughts that kept telling me I would fuck the day up. I try to ignore it, but it seemed impossible. I went over how the day might go in my head, hoping that It wouldn't include being thrown to the wolves on my first day. Time will tell.

The bell on the door jingles as I push it open, and my senses are greeted by the smell of bacon and maple syrup. I feel a twinge of relief when I see the woman who interviewed me behind the front counter, and she greets me with a smile while motioning for me to come closer. I do just that while holding onto the strap of my purse tightly, not quite knowing what to do with my anxious hands.

"Good morning." I say shyly with a smile.

"Good morning! Oh, let me show you where you can put your bag." She walks away so quickly that I find myself fast-walking just to catch up with her back into the kitchen. There was a group of younger guys around the stoves and another smaller group by the dish sink; my eyes scan the small kitchen for a familiarity, but I'm not met by the whiskey colored eyes that I vividly remembered from the other day.

I follow her farther back into what I assumed was her office. It was small and the desk was cluttered with papers and candy wrappers.

"Please ignore the mess, at this point my office has become a storage closet." She rolls her eyes and gestures toward the hooks on the wall. "Just pick any hook, and follow me. I want to get you started while we're slow and with someone before having you serve a rush by yourself."

I hang the strap to my bag on an empty hook while letting out a small sigh of relief.

"Thank you for that, I was kind of nervous." I laugh, feeling a bit more comfortable and at ease.

"I can tell," She jokes. I finally focus on her name tag, realizing I had forgotten her name after the interview. Her name is Brandi. She looks around what age my mother was. She's short with plump cheeks that are heavily powdered with blush, and she smells like chamomile. She radiates comfort, somehow.

"Here's an apron. Follow me, my always fashionably late nephew should be here by now." She wipes a bead of sweat from her thin brow due to the heat pouring in from the kitchen, and I follow closely while tying the black apron around my waist.

"Sorry, sorry." I hear a man's voice nearing just as we are making our way back to the front of the restaurant.

"Jesus." Brandi halts in place, and I brake behind her with the tips of toes at the sudden stop. I look over her shoulder, and just like my intuition had told me, the dark haired waiter from the other day was to be my trainer. My eyes lower from his wavy locks to his black, bruised eye. I gasp under my breath at the sight, and flick my gaze down to his hands. His knuckles were torn like the other day, but the old wounds appeared to have been reopened.

"You aren't to touch anything today. Wrap your hands in gauze and let our new hire help you." She tells him with her short finger pointed at him as she spoke. She turns around quickly and suddenly- making me slightly jump. I found it odd that she didn't even address his black eye. Was it a regular thing?

"Is that okay with you? He won't leave your side, so you will be fine. The best way to learn here really is to do."

"Oh, of course." I nod, avoiding the burning stare from the man in front of us.

It really was okay, the quicker I could start working without having to follow someone around like a puppy, the better.

"Have Tanner do it, I'm not a trainer." He grumbles and strides past us towards the back office we were previously in. I took in the scent of shaving cream and musk as he passed, and I hated that I was happy when Brandi began to follow him; for I wanted to smell more of it.

I follow slowly and awkwardly behind her and noticed then just how tall he was from the closeness of his head to the low ceiling. I'd guess 6'3 nearing 6'4..

"You've been complaining about being short handed, and now you don't want to train?" Brandi laughs, shaking her head.

"Train her or leave. You're lucky to even be here." She whispers, unfortunately loud enough for me to hear. Out of instinct I slowly back away to give at least a little privacy, but stop when Brandi turns on her heel and smiles at me as if her nephew isn't terrifying.

"Let me know if you need anything." She tells me and walks back to the front of the restaurant, leaving me alone with his presence. The tension in the small space was making the air feel thick- like I couldn't breathe. He wasn't looking at me, but at his hand that he was wrapping gauze around.

"Does she speak?" He asks, not looking up. I swallow the lump in my throat.

"Um, yes." I reply, sticking my hands in the front pockets of my apron. He put the gauze away after he is finished wrapping his hand and nods.

"Great. Follow me."

I move to the side of the tight hallway as he strides past me and into the kitchen. He puts on an apron in one fast motion, ignoring the stares of the cooks and dishwashers. The skin around his left eye was bruised and tender, but it wasn't bad enough to where he couldn't open it. Maybe he's a boxer? Has to be.

"Do you have a name?" He asks and hands me a tiny notebook and pen from the front pockets of his apron. I take the items and look up at him, trying to seem as confident as possible.

"Callie."

He nods again, but never smiles or even attempts to pretend to be happy about being stuck with me for the day.

"Do you have a name?" I ask just before the awkward silence could emerge. I give him a slight smile in hopes of breaking this thick tension between us.

"Roman." He pushes his slightly greasy hair off of his forehead and runs his slender fingers through it with his eyes closed, fingernails grazing his scalp. He looked like he hasn't slept in weeks, I wonder if that's how I look too..

"Follow me." Roman sighs and walks away from the kitchen and into the dining area. I take a deep breath in and follow, hoping that the day would go fast. I hoped even more that my new coworker would go easy on me, but I wasn't really counting on that one. I was hoping to not be thrown to the wolves on my first day, but it seems I've been thrown to the alpha.

Just my luck.

I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from smiling as I see the same booth Brandon and I had sat in the other day. I knew he had a busy schedule today at the hospital, but I couldn't help but wonder if his busy mind made a little room for me.

-Brandon-

I texted my Aunt Brandi to hire somebody else as soon as I was alone after my breakfast out with Callie. The moment she reached for the applications my heart dropped, because I knew she'd easily get the job and have to work alongside my maniac older brother. I went to this diner often for the discount I get because of my aunt managing it, but I wished now that I had decided on somewhere else. I could have talked her out of it, but who was I to do that? I'm not her boyfriend.

Roman and I don't really talk. He just recently moved back into town and was handed the job at the diner. I'm surprised he could even keep that job for the two week period he's had it so far. He's known for up and leaving when he is needed most; the most important time being after our mother died. He was the first born, and we're almost 9 years apart.

My assumption is that he didn't want a younger brother, so when I came along and held most of the attention, I felt like he hated me for it. I don't think that's the reason anymore of course, but because of the distance he's made between us in our childhood I truly felt like he was a stranger.

Last time I heard he was in a different state doing everything except growing the hell up. He left years ago to "travel and find himself," but only seemed to accomplish breaking an engagement to a great woman and gambling away every penny he brought with him.

I remember looking into his dead eyes at the diner with Callie. It wasn't the first time I've seen him since he's come back; the first was at the dinner our Aunt and Uncle prepared for his homecoming the day after he arrived. We exchanged words and were civil for our families sake, but the deadness in his dark eyes reminded me so much of our alcoholic father. He looked so much like him, from the hair all the way to his height and brown eyes. I got my mothers blue eye color and am slightly shorter and slimmer compared to his strong build, so we are almost never recognized as brothers.

It wasn't a surprise when we told me he would be working at the diner. He was always closest to my aunt growing up, and he knew she wouldn't deny him. And now, he will be alongside Callie almost everyday of the week. I don't exactly know why, but I didn't want her to know of our relation. I even texted him that I was coming that morning, and to my surprise he acted like he didn't know me just like I had asked.

He was looking at her a little too much for my liking, but I assumed it was because she clearly wasn't the same girl I dated for almost all of my life. I texted him thank you afterward, but was yet again met with zero response.

”Sorry bud, we're so short handed and no one else has applied.”

I groan and pinch the bridge of my nose at the response from Brandi. It was too quickly followed by a text from Callie saying she was hired on. I sigh and reply before shoving my phone back into my scrub pocket. He was a dick, and I really didn't want him hurting her feelings in any way. She was sensitive, and he was insensitive. Worst combination.

I found myself thinking about her today, particularly every time I passed a mirror or walked the oncology floor. It was great to have her as new company, it just scared me at how much I was beginning to like her.

I would be lying if I hadn't thought about going further with her, but I didn't want her counting on a relationship afterward because I don't think I would be capable of it. Not yet, at least. So I told myself it just wasn't going to happen- she would not be my rebound. I cared about her too much for that, I respected her too much for that.

Also, deep down, I feared being so close and vulnerable with her body. I feared I would memorize each freckle and birthmark, for if I did the image of touching her skin would haunt me. I feared I would grow intoxicated by the way her tongue would feel in my mouth and the way her breasts would feel pressed against my chest while I held her close. So close that she would feel truly protected by the monsters in her life. I was fucking terrified of the thought, because I know if I get too close, I may break us both.