The delimma

i crawled up the steps at front porch it felt like climbing a mountain as i was dead tried with all the turmoil going up in my head with all the questions ,answers ,reactions running at a pace faster than my own conscience .I couldn't think of anything unambiguously it was better for me to bury myself under the soft warm drops of water pouring down on me from the shower ,so be it .After i was done calming myself down a little i came down in the living room hall and sat near the electric furnace with a cup of ginger tea , the staple for every indian to get their senses running again .Sitting there I started contemplating what and all that happened on the bench , where i and Ken were musing on what was to be done. The series of events that followed subsequently were him looking at me with his gleaming eyes for a reply, this time too i questioned back 'will your family be fine with it ,how do you think we are going to confort my family ? you don't even known on what terms i was with them.' "Do you love me?' the question was straight at me, 'if you do then just have a little faith in me .'thereafter he bent a little closure towards me ; i answered in affimation but had nothing to cite ,we parted sedately.

I couldn't just explain what my problems were to a stranger whom i just met for like an hour or so no matter for how many days ,i knew no more than what he did for his living and where he lived , i wasn't even sure that was he the person he portraited to be .i was all caught up between what i knew and what i din't ,it was no better than being tortoured in hell , being in love with someone was awful. Though i agreed to meet this parents and siblings , he promised me to cure all my doubts as well as to be true to me , still i couldn't trust my choices about people, as i have being a person for whom people turned out to be more vicious than could be thought .what if the same happened with me regarding this pulchritudinous man , what if he was a cold nightmare with a facade of alluring spring .

My heart started racing , i was about to burst into tears as blood galloped down my veins and stark terror conquered my soul .

To escape form the miserable self that i have been hiding form everyone even from myself ,i pugged earphones into my ears , playing music soothed the grip of gloom over my chest , few tears rolled down my cheek , everything wrapped in unpleasing silence as i mantle in deep sleep to comfort myself.

As the sun uncovered itself from foggy sheets and shined over head i woke up , climbed the slight sprial stairway to my bedroom gliding my fingers over the marbled railing . i washed and dressed up in a light lilac empire waist dress being laced by tiny flowers of different shades ,it was one of the best piece of clothing i owned . it took me quite a while to decide how to accessorize the pretty piece i wore .The process of dressing up kept me occupied so, i was no longer thinking about what engrossed me last night .Some strange thought struck me which made me change my decision on keeping on what i clothe in thus , i went back to the wardrobe and took out a plain off white shirt which i paired with little brown tousers layered by knitted corset and trench coat .i decided to tied my hair in a low bun , accessorized the look with pearl earring and a hand bag which i felt was most suitted to the attire .

How time flew i couldn't make out when i heard the doorbell ringing .i opened the door he was standing there with a bouquet of calla lilies that's what they were , he looked as fine as the dew drops on fresh green leaves reflecting sun rays in refractile manner . I asked him to come in, as he stepped past me the pleasent scent of his prefume elated the space with new zeal. It was the same space which was about to devour me last night in it's lurid parasol was now lit with zest of ecstasy.