... spilling secrets

I'm stunned when I see Jace in the waiting room, he walks over to me and holds me tightly, consoling me. 

I break free, if I need to stay away from him then why does life throw him in my direction? 

"What are you doing here?" I question. 

"Court-ordered therapy." He admits bluntly. I raise my brow, so he is a rotten apple after all. "Don't judge me too much, love." He winks flirtatiously.

I feel compelled to just let him call me love, after all, it is probably meaningless, he could call everyone that.

He nudges his head to the door, "What was that all about?" He queries with a concerned look. 

I tug at my ear nervously, "Maybe therapy isn't for me." I admit sheepishly. 

Jace shrugs with his hands in the pockets of his black jeans. He steps closer to me. "Therapy isn't that black and white. It helps at the end of the day." Jace confesses softly. "It feels good to be heard and understood now and again." He looks down at me, then steps back, I can tell with a swift change in facial expression that he probably thinks that he is standing a bit too close to me.

He looks at the clock on the wall, "I have a few minutes to spare, do you want to grab a bite?" He queries. 

I throw my eyes around the room for my dad, he must have gone somewhere while I was in therapy, he'll most likely be back when my session is supposed to be over.

Jace and I stroll in silence to the restaurant that's across the street. I watch Jace stretching his foot after the other, he walks like a model and so effortlessly too. I swallow, as my mouth becomes dry. I want to tell him that he should consider modeling but it doesn't look like he is the type to care for the limelight. Even though most of his social media posts are professionally taken. I frown. His grandfather plausibly had a hand in those.

"Table for two, make it outside." He tells the waiter confidently. 

He nods, "Please follow me." The man looking into his late twenties smiles at both Jace and me and starts walking a bit too fast to our table. 

He sets the menus down on a table that is next to a railing. 

"Anything I could get you before I go?" He asks politely.  

"Lemon water." Jace orders. He looks over at me. 

"Just plain water for me." I shrug feeling almost pressured to answer. 

The waiter nods at us so he can take his leave.

Jace leans his head on his hand, giving him a boyish look. "So tell me, what did the therapist do to offend you?" Jace asks hastily, but still holding onto his witt in his tone. 

I frown, "Is this why you brought me here, for dirt on the Therapist?" I ask in a bit of a galled tone.

Jace then crosses his forearms on the table to lean closer to me. "Can't you tell Lucy?" He stares me in the eye. 

I fidget my hands as they become sweaty with nerves. 

"Tell what?" I query. 

"I've become interested in you." He smiles charmingly. 

I shake my head to break away from his gaze, "What do you mean?" I query. 

"I. Like. You," he whispers. 

My eyes widen, he has to be joking right? I scan his face, he does look playful but he seems to be serious.

The waiter then comes to set our water down. 

All I think about is how I could be here with a possible murderer. He is going to therapy as community service. Maybe white privilege and a whole lot of money bought him a slap on the wrist? When I look into his eyes I just have a feeling that he has a kind soul. My heart beings to pound in my eardrums as I finally gather the strength to ask. 

"That time on the cliff, you told me that–"

"I killed my ex?" Jace interrupts as he puts it bluntly.

I frown, "Well, yes." 

"Maybe it is time to tell you the whole story, if you have some context then you will understand that maybe… maybe you'll let me take you out on a formal date," Jace states, boyish features lost in his serious eyes.

"I'm listening…" I trail off.

"Are you guys ready to order?" The waiter interrupts.  

"Chicken sandwich," Jace tells the waiter. 

The waiter then looks at me, "S– same for me." I stammer.

The waiter nods and then disappears into the back.

I stare at Jace for a while, I want him to tell me that he is lying and that it was a prank. I want him to tell me that it isn't true because all I  think about since the moment I saw him, is him. 

His wet shirt was klining to his skin, eyes shining down at me. Jacket over my head. It was chivalrous. It was the first impression I had of him. Besides closing the shades on me, I forgot all about it when I first interlocked with his wet-lashed grey eyes. 

"She took her own life because of me… I shouldn't have brought you there. I was just–" he cuts himself off and takes a sip of his lemon water. "I know this is going to sound bad but I couldn't cope with the fact that you didn't choose me the night of the party. I wanted to open up to you but I just made matters worse," Jace admits reluctantly. "I know it's childish, but I hate Andrew."

I stare at him for a while, "I have to admit that it is very disturbing for you to bring me there. What were you going to tell me? And why do you hate Andrew?" I query, desperately wanting to know why those two don't like one another. 

He remains still. I can tell by the look on his face that he doesn't want to reveal too much. He sighs. 

"That place has two meanings." He grows quiet. Then parts his pink lips to speak. "The first… the first is something positive and the second. That one is negative. I took you there to tell you about the negative because it was the only baggage I morally had." He confesses. "And Andrew… he ruined my life. That's all I can say. I don't like oversharing. But I'm trying." he looks up at me. Eyes desperate for me to forgive him. And I do. 

"I'm sorry,"  I say apologetically. 

"What do you have to be sorry for? I'm the one that should say sorry." He looks at me. "Looking back, it just seems so ludicrous of me to even think that taking you there was a good idea." He shakes his head. 

The waiter sets the food down, he offers the waiter a forced smile. And then Jace sets his food aside. And my appetite is also lost.

He watches me for a brief moment and speaks, his voice sounds regretful. "Maybe Andrew is the more appropriate choice." 

I frown. "Are you serious, Jace? You just told me that you liked me and now Andrew is the 'appropriate' option, what if I don't like Andrew that way?" I furrow my brow at him. 

He remains quiet, "You aren't being for real." I shake my head at him. 

"I'm sorry, it was just a thought. Given everything I went through… given everything I've done." He sounds almost numb. The mood completely changed, and so has his persona. 

I take his hand. I want to ask what he did that allowed her to kill herself, but I don't want to spoil his mood further. I'm shocked at that discovery but more relieved that he is in therapy. Even if it is community service.

He looks down at my hand and then takes it with his free hand, "I like you, Jace." I admit to both him and myself. 

He smiles at me, a boyish smile that accompanies his boyish charm. 

My phone rings, and with my free hand, I take it out of my pocket. It's my dad. "Dad," I answered. I'm a bit uneasy that he might scold me but he is more concerned about where I am and how I am. 

My father is so much different from my mother. It's refreshing. 

"I just grabbed something to eat from across the street. "I'll be there in a sec," I tell him.

Jace looks at me. 

I have to go… He only nods. "Okay." He smiles at the forced one. 

"I want to see you tonight," I tell him as I squeeze his hand. 

He shakes his head. "I have a family dinner." He says blandly. "I really can't miss it. But I'm free tomorrow." He raises his brow waiting for my answer. 

I laugh at his serious tone. "Tomorrow it is." I stand up and plant a kiss on his cheek. He looks at me in bewilderment. He says nothing and only smirks at me.  

"Lucy." He says seriously, and he takes his phone out of his pocket. "Put your number in it." He orders softly and I gulp at the demand. I love that he asked in person and not over his account which was controlled by other people. 

I take his phone and then hand it back to him after I saved my number with a heart at the end. 

He looks down and shakes his head at me. "See you around, love." He says intensely while looking deeply into my eyes. I pull away from his gaze. 

I clear my throat before saying goodbye. I'm a bit flustered by that interaction. But it can't be helped. When I go back to the therapist building I notice my dad standing and talking to her. She smiles at me and tells me that she hopes to see me again.

My dad looks at his watch. "Lucy, my boss called and he wants to have dinner with me and my family." He smiles. 

Good thing Jace also has a dinner tonight or else I was going to have to disappoint someone.

I nod. "Of course dad," I tell him. 

My dad just smiles at me and throws his arm around my shoulder.

"The therapist told me that it went well. I'm really happy that you're doing this Lucy," he says genuinely.

I just give him a tight smile. I wonder why the therapist didn't rat me out. But I'm grateful that she didn't, given the happy look on my dad's face. I can tell that he is happy that I am doing this so I won't be so withdrawn anymore and I'll have someone to talk to about what happened back at moms. But I don't think I'll ever talk to anyone about that.