~Chapter two ~

I feel sick to my stomach and I close my eyes to get some relief. I know.He kept coming up with excuses you and kept asking for more time.I stayed as long as I could letting him treat me with no respect and disregard, his hurtful words filled my heart causing me so much pain.Thinking he said them out of anger, trying to remember the sweet words he used to say to me.I wanted it clean me, reassure me somehow. But the thought of everything did help me relax like I had hoped.I was thinking of anything that's going to calm the ache inside of me.It feels infinite. Permanent. Like an organism coming to live within me but also like a hole growing steadily larger. My life before him was so simple and decided.The good thing about this before life with him is that I could make it whatever I pleased. I know , he's right I should have moved on when he asked me to.But everything in my life is tied to him now. He has become the string that held everything in my life together with his absence I'm left with the rubble that once was my life.