Girls Just Want To Have Fun

Gwen Stacy yawned as she slowly awoke, revelling in the sunshine that caressed her as she sat up in bed. Last night's sleep had been the best she'd had in months, in no small part because she'd finally defeated her arch-enemy, the murderous psychopath Jack O' Lantern. Jack had been psychologically tormenting her for weeks, culminating in his effort to destroy her very identity, but as the spectacular Spider-Woman she'd managed to overcome him and finally, at long last, bring him to justice. The long nightmare was over, and to Gwen the bright sunrise reflected the beautiful new start she now experienced.

Getting out of bed, Gwen walked to her window and gazed out at the sunrise, thinking about how beautiful it was. She then walked across her bedroom to her dresser and gazed into the mirror. The beautiful young woman looking back at Gwen had bright blue eyes that sparkled with a vibrant inner light, long blonde hair, a mouth that revealed a joyous smile and the demeanor of someone who looked as though the weight of the world had been lifted off of her shoulders.

All of the anger and bitterness Gwen had once felt was gone, replaced with a sense of peace and serenity.

It was a pleasant thought, and the woman in the mirror laughed along with Gwen.

SPIDER-WOMAN #56

"GIRLS JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN"

"I'm sexy, I'm cute, I'm popular to boot. I'm bitchin', great hair, the boys all love to stare. I'm wanted, I'm hot, I'm everything you're not," Gwen sang quietly to herself as she finished buttering her toast and scooped her eggs onto her plate. Although her boyfriend Randy Robertson had given her grief for liking the Bring It On movies, Gwen thought they were hilarious. Besides, she thought that the song the Toros sang at the start of the film was incredibly catchy, not to mention true when Gwen sang it about herself.

Sitting down at the table, Gwen began eating her breakfast as she went over her plans for Spring Break. She and Randy would be joining the rest of their friends on a trip to Daytona Beach, where they could relax and party with all of the other college and university students who visited the place. Harry Osborn had paid for their hotel reservations and their plane tickets, using some of the money he'd made from selling Osborn Industries, the conglomerate that used to be owned by his father Norman, who had secretly been the supervillain crime lord known as the Green Goblin.

It was going to be a week of fun in the sun where they could unwind. Gwen in particular badly needed a break after everything Jack O' Lantern had put her through, to say nothing of the general stress of trying to balance her personal life with her superhero career as the spectacular Spider-Woman. She could only hope that it wouldn't be like last year, when she and some of her friends had gone to Fire Island for Spring Break and had their vacation rudely interrupted by her old enemy Polestar. Gwen had been forced to intervene as Spider-Woman, and while she was packing her costume this year in case she needed it, she prayed she wouldn't.

Once Gwen and the rest of the gang returned to New York, they would have the last few weeks of studies before final exams began. After that, Gwen would be putting her studies on hold to go work full time to help her mother Helen Stacy pay down the $40,000 she owed in back taxes to the IRS. Gwen's father George Stacy had been cheating on his taxes for years, and Helen had inherited his debts after he'd died. While Nancy wasn't too pleased at Gwen doing it, Gwen had insisted, particularly after everything her mother had already been through at George's hands.

That would come later, though.

For now, Gwen couldn't wait to relax.

"How long are you going to be gone?" Gwen's mother Helen Stacy asked her as she sat at the window, waiting for Randy to pick her up.

"Six days," Gwen replied as she kept looking out the window. "We're coming back on Sunday."

"Who all is going?" Helen asked.

"Me, Randy, Liz Allan, Harry Osborn, Kitty Pryde and Bruce 'Kong' McFarlane," Gwen replied. "Six days of fun, sun and freedom."

"Alright," Helen smiled. "Just try not to have too much fun, you hear?" she continued, a humorous half-frown on her face.

"You raised me better than that," Gwen smirked. "I mean, come on-give me a little credit!"

They giggled a bit, and Gwen's spirits lifted as she saw Randy's car pulling up outside the townhouse where the Stacys lived. The horn honked to alert Gwen, but she had already sprung up from the windowsill and come over to hug her mother.

"Have a great time, sweetie," Helen grinned. 'See you Sunday!"

"Love you," Gwen grinned as she picked up her luggage. Opening the door, she squealed with delight to see Kitty, Kong and Randy waiting for her. Hugging Kitty and Kong and kissing Randy, they helped Gwen carry her luggage out to the car. Driving to Kennedy Airport, registering for their flight, getting through security and boarding all took a long time, but for Gwen and her friends the hours just flew by, especially once they'd met Liz and Harry at the registration desk.

Although Gwen had packed her Spider-Woman costume, which she was carrying with her in a hidden pocket in her carryon bag, in case of an emergency, fighting crime as a superhero was the furthest thing from her mind.

Instead, her thoughts were filled with the joy of being with her friends, the peace of mind she'd felt ever since she'd finally defeated Jack O' Lantern and the feeling of being free from all her responsibilities, if only for a little while.

The flight to Daytona Beach was comfortable and relaxing, particularly considering that Harry had gotten them first-class seats. Gwen was lying next to Randy in a reclining seat large enough for two people, placing her head on his shoulder as he put his arm around her. Randy was sound asleep, and Gwen had been nodding off herself, but she became fully awake when she heard the conversation between Harry and Kong.

"Don't get me wrong, man, it's not like I don't appreciate it," Kong was saying to Harry. "But how much did all this cost? I mean, I know you've got five million bucks, but aren't you overdoing it a little?"

"Five million?" Harry grinned. "You forgot the 'twenty' in there," he grinned.

"Twenty-five million?" Kong said in amazement. "Where the hell did you get that kind of scratch?"

"I suppose you heard about what happened to my old man?" Harry asked. His father was none other than Norman Osborn, the notorious chemical tycoon who was also secretly the masked supervillain and would-be New York crimelord known as the Green Goblin. As the Goblin, Osborn had become the arch enemy of the Amazing Spider-Man, one of New York's most famous costumed heroes. Osborn had been publicly outed as the Green Goblin by his web-slinging foe. In a later battle with Spider-Man, Osborn had suffered a permanent brain injury that would leave him a comatose vegetable for the rest of his life.

"Long story short," Harry continued, "I was Norman's legal heir, so I inherited Osborn Industries. I also inherited all the fallout from everything he'd done-all the corporate rivals who wanted a piece of the company, everybody with a grudge against him as a businessman, everyone who suffered because of the Green Goblin and now tried suing me. I let guys like Thomas Fireheart and the rest of Norman's rivals carve up the company like a turkey, and I used most of the money they paid to settle all the lawsuits and pay off the back taxes. I even set up about $100 million in a fund to repay all of the Goblin's victims. All the leftovers are going to go a charity to help the victims of supervillain crimes. When all the shit blew over, there was only about $25 million left of everything Norman Osborn had ever worked for."

"So what are you going to do with it?" Kong asked.

"Live my life the way I want to," Harry replied. "You don't know the shit I put up with growing up as that man's son, Kong. You probably saw the Green Goblin on the news. Believe me, that was what Norman was like in the privacy of his own home. He didn't need a mask to show what he was really like. After everything he did to me, I deserve some fucking peace."

"Damn, man…" Kong replied. "So why are you…" he trailed off.

"Why am I treating you guys like this?" Harry finished for him. "Because you guys were always there when I needed you. Without you guys, I probably would have killed myself. Just think of this as my way of thanking you."

"Like I said, we appreciate it, man," Kong assured him.

"I'm glad," Harry smiled back. "The really nice thing, though, is that I finally feel like I'm free. No more looking over my shoulder because of whatever Norman might do, no more thinking that he might screw me over."

"I'm free, Kong. I'm really free."

Gwen cuddled down to sleep again, comforted by those words.

More than anyone else in their group, she knew what Harry had gone through.

She also knew what it felt like to finally be free.

I'm the life of the party,

So contagious,

All the boys wanna catch me,

But I'm just playing…

-Suzie McNeil, Supergirl

Daytona Beach was everything Gwen and her friends expected. The sun was shining brightly, the sky was clear and blue, and the city was beautiful and vibrant. Laughing and smiling young people were everywhere, part of the large crowd of college and university students who'd come down for Spring Break. Gwen and her friends eagerly joined the rush of students gathering their luggage and taking cabs or buses to their hotel rooms, and in a matter of hours they were in a comfortable hotel overlooking the beach.

The hotel rooms were luxurious, but neither Gwen nor any of her friends gave the rooms that much thought as they unpacked. They were more interested in the beautiful white beaches outside, where a large crowd of people had already gathered. Even from their rooms, the sound of music and chatter reached up and greeted them eagerly.

Before long, Gwen and her friends had joined the crowd on the beach. This, especially, was what Gwen had been waiting for. She, Liz and Kitty all grinned at one another before they removed their jackets and fully revealed the gorgeous swimsuits they were wearing. Liz's fire-red string bikini contrasted with the deep blue string bikini Gwen was wearing, and in turn both of their swimsuits contrasted with the bright sun gold string bikini Kitty had on. They basked in the cheers and wolf whistles that came up as their boyfriends set up the beach towels, coolers and umbrellas, grinning to one another mischievously.

If Gwen, Liz and Kitty were smiling mischievously, Randy, Harry and Kong were just smirking with pride. They might have been jealous, but they were secure in the knowledge that, at the end of the day, they were going to be the ones the girls were going home with.

As Gwen sat down, she groaned out loud as she realized her mistake.

"Oh no!" she said audibly. "No, no, no! How could I be so stupid?"

"What's wrong?" Randy asked in alarm as he came over to her.

"And it's so sunny, too!" Gwen pouted.

"Are you okay, Gwen?" Randy asked, concern suddenly filling his voice.

"Well, it's just that I'm really fair-skinned, and I forgot to oil myself up before I came out," Gwen explained, deliberately speaking louder than she normally would. "Do you think you could oil me up?" she asked Randy, holding up a bottle of sunblock in her hand.

"I suppose I could give it a shot," Randy quipped as he poured some sunscreen into his hand, smiling to himself at the disappointed groans he heard all around him.

Once Randy had completed his pleasurable duties, Gwen reclined in her chair, putting on her sunglasses and a hat to keep some of the sun off. Kitty was laying down next to her, opening up a magazine as Gwen opened up her Twilight novel.

"What's with the fedora?" Kitty asked curiously. "Why wear that to the beach?"

"Stacy Keibler's been doing it for a while now," Gwen explained, adjusting her fedora slightly. "If she can do it, why can't I?" she grinned.

Kitty only laughed and turned her attention to her magazine.

Relaxing there on the beach was what Gwen had been looking forward to all day.

She was the hottest thing on the beach, soaking up the approving stares of many of the other boys and the jealousy of many of the other girls. The girls wanted to be her, the boys wanted to be with her, and she loved every minute of it.

More than that, though, she had her friends with her, all of whom had experienced their own pain and troubles but were now enjoy themselves.

That, as much as anything, was what made this trip truly worthwhile.

(one) One two come and see what i can do.

(two) Two three everybody's after me.

(three) Three four let me tell you what's in store.

Let's go everybody on the floor…

For Gwen, the next few days were a whirlwind of playing beach volleyball, dancing by the light of the bonfires at night, drinking and singing karaoke (Gwen particularly enjoyed being regaled by Randy's rendition of Michael Jackson's The Way You Make Me Feel), frolicking in the surf, going on long walks with Randy and just enjoying a solitary swim. She couldn't recall having this much fun in years, and seeing the joy on her friends' faces only increased her pleasure.

As a change of pace, Gwen and her friends decided to split up on Friday for a boys' and girls' day out. Randy, Harry and Kong went to a Miami Dolphins game, while Gwen, Kitty and Liz spent the morning on a shopping spree. After lunch, they'd decided to go down to the roller rink and do some skating.

Gwen, especially, was eager for the opportunity to show off her new Union Jack-patterned tank top, deep red boyshorts and royal blue knee socks, all of which contrasted nicely with her blonde hair and blue eyes. Just as she had on the beach, she soon had the attention of many of the other skaters. Gwen only smiled at that, enjoying the approving stares of many of the male skaters while giggling at the jealousy coming from many of their female dates.

As much as she liked the attention, Gwen was also quite pleased to see that Liz and Kitty weren't being left out, as both of them soon had their own groups of skaters following in their wake. All three of the girls soon made themselves the hits of the rink, and even many of the other female skaters came to enjoy the impromptu dances Gwen and her girlfriends were leading.

Returning their skates to the rink attendant once they were done, Gwen and her friends were bemused by the group of men approaching them. One was only a few years older than them, apparently some MTV rock VJ who was filming the proceedings of Spring Break, while the rest were his camera crew. All of them clearly liked what they saw, and soon Gwen and her friends were greeted by the VJ, who they recognized as Matthew "the Falcon" Falco.

"You girls enjoying yourselves?" the Falcon grinned once the girls had introduced themselves to the people watching at home. "How do you like Daytona Beach?"

"It's really nice," Kitty replied, "but what are you doing here? Wouldn't you be at the beach?"

"Normally, yes, but I thought that showing some cute girls in tank tops and boyshorts would be a nice change of pace from just girls in bikinis," the Falcon grinned.

Gwen and her friends couldn't help but laugh at that, amused by his brazen honesty as much as the flattery.

"In all seriousness, though, we're looking for contestants for the Miss Spring Break pageant MTV is sponsoring," the Falcon said. "Where are you ladies from?"

"New York," Liz explained.

"Then this is your lucky day," the Falcon replied, his grin growing wider, "because we're still looking for a contestant from New York. The grand prize is $50,000. Which one of you is going to be Miss New York?"

Gwen was about to suggest that they try flipping a coin or something like that, but almost immediately Liz pointed to her as Kitty nodded.

"Gwen is perfect," Kitty explained. "The other girls won't stand a chance!"

Liz, Kitty and the Falcon were soon all gushing over Gwen's chances, even as Gwen herself stood there in surprise.

"What was that all about?" Gwen asked her girlfriends once they'd left the roller rink.

"What, you don't want to do it?" Kitty asked in surprise.

"Sure I do," Gwen nodded, "but I don't get why you guys didn't even want a shot at it."

"I just don't go in for that sort of thing," Liz shook her head. "I'm not interested."

"And I'd rather not appear on TV again," Kitty replied. "Remember how I got outed as a mutant last year? You never know who might see that and make the connection. That's the sort of bullshit I can do without," she sighed.

"It's not fair," Gwen frowned.

"Come on, Gwen," Kitty laughed it off. "I doubt I would have won anyway. Who do you think would really have had a chance of winning it all? You, or me?"

Gwen opened her mouth to protest, but Liz intervened before she could say anything.

"Just think of what Felicia Hardy will say if she sees you win this," Liz pointed out. "Knowing her, she's probably here and she probably tried to become the New York contestant. I mean, come on-would she be nearly as jealous if Kitty or I had been the Miss New York contestant?"

A wicked grin crossed Gwen's face, and the girls laughed at that.

"Come on, we need to go get ready," Gwen smiled as they headed back to the hotel. "Harry brought his laptop to the beach, didn't he?"

"Yeah," Liz replied in confusion, "but what the hell do you need a computer for?"

"Reference," Gwen explained, a knowing smile on her face.

I'm the perfect disaster.

You cant stop me.

Coming faster and faster,

you just watch me…

The next day…

Clad in her deep blue string bikini and a sash that announced her as Miss New York, Gwen stood on stage with her competition as Matt Falco, who was serving as emcee, announced them all. Her competition included the likes of Miss Los Angeles, Miss Chicago, Miss Dallas and Miss Miami, but Gwen liked her chances. Even when she'd just come up on stage, Gwen had gotten the loudest cheers from the spectators, and she could tell that she was still getting the most approving stares.

Predictably, things started with the swimsuit competition, with the contestants walking like models up and down the stage to try and elicit the loudest cheers. Here, Gwen had a considerable advantage, as she used all of the moves she'd learned from her modelling work to establish the strongest stage presence. The looks on the judges' faces as she finished were better than for any of the other contestants, and Gwen knew her chances were good.

Next up was the talent competition. Several of the other contestants displayed talents such as singing or baton twirling, and Miss Dallas's cheerleading routine was tough to follow, but Gwen had something special in mind. When her turn came, the Shakira music she had requested began playing and Gwen began moving in time with the music, swaying her hips, making sensuous footsteps and spinning with a beautiful, fluid grace.

The evening and morning of practicing and watching the Shakira videos on YouTube to learn the movements had paid off in spades for Gwen, as she executed a pitch-perfect belly dance that would have done Shakira proud, had she seen it. Not that Gwen would have been so gauche as to rip off Shakira's moves, of course-instead, she'd come up with her own choreography based on what she'd observed.

Finally, there was the question and answer part of the competition. Most of Gwen's competition tended to give rather generic answers, as they clearly hadn't been expecting something beyond a swimsuit competition. When Matthew Falco came to ask her question, Gwen was determined to be ready.

"What do you say to critics who claim that people like you just get by on their looks?" Matthew asked her.

"Some people are really like that," Gwen replied, "but they just create a stereotype that makes everyone look bad. The way it is now, a lot of the time people just assume that a successful and attractive woman only got to where she is because she slept her way to the top. Taylor Swift and Shakira didn't get to where they are just based on their looks-they write and perform their own music. Summer Glau does all her own dancing, and Sarah Michelle Gellar did all her own martial arts. And just look at all superheroines like the Invisible Woman and the Wasp-do you really think they slept their way to where they are?"

"That's the problem these days," Gwen explained. "Either it's assumed that we got to where we are based on our looks, or if we're not good-looking enough people call us dogs, or cows, whatever you like. I love how I look, and I love the attention I get, but that's not all there is to me. And that's not all there is to the other women up here on stage with me, or most of you ladies out there, either!" she concluded, to the approving cheers and shouts of many of the women in the audience.

Even the other contestants were applauding Gwen as she finished. They were like her, she realized, taking pride in their good looks, but also having much more to their characters than just their appearances.

(five) Five six don't you want a little fix.

(six) Count down get a little crazy now.

(nine) Nine ten see me want to ruin them

Hold on ready here we go again…

Soon, the judges began tabulating their scores, and handed them over to Matthew Falco, whose eyes lit up as he read the results.

"Well folks, this is the moment of truth," he announced. "All of our contestants have shown that they're incredibly beautiful, incredibly talented and incredibly smart, but there can only be one Miss Spring Break. And our 2008 Miss Spring Break is…"

He paused deliberately, just to heighten the tension.

"…Miss New York, Gwen Stacy!" he finished, as the crowd burst out cheering.

Gwen rocked back on her heels at the news. Even though she knew her chances were good, she still couldn't quite believe that she'd won. Tears formed in her eyes, not just from the joy at winning but also the knowledge that she could use the prize money to pay off the back taxes her mother Helen owed to the IRS, and also use the rest of it to pay off some of her own student loans and help Helen and Aunt Nancy with the bills.

Getting her prize from one of the Jonas Brothers was fun too, but what really made Gwen's day was the congratulations she got from her friends, especially the passionate kiss she received from Randy.

Walking every wire,

set the world on fire.

No ones shining brighter.

Oh, oh, oh…

Gwen and her friends returned to New York on Sunday, and once she'd returned home Gwen was caught up with helping the rest of the Stacys  with spring cleaning. Final exams were coming up too, and Gwen would have to get back to studying for them, and once school let out she'd have to find a summer job.

Not that Gwen cared, of course. She'd just had the best week of her life, and was ready to return to her normal life rested, refreshed and reinvigorated. She'd defeated her worst enemy, helped her mother put their financial troubles behind them, and she had a loving family, a wonderful boyfriend, and supportive friends.

Gwen couldn't have asked for anything more.

That evening, as she finished packing, Gwen reached for her tote bag and took out her Spider-Woman costume. She hadn't unpacked it once during her entire trip, and indeed during her vacation she'd all but forgotten about her superheroic identity.

Gwen had had her fun, but she knew that duty called. She'd long felt frustration at how being a superheroine had impacted her life, but she also remembered all the good she'd been able to accomplish and all the people she'd been able to help.

Slipping on her costume and darkening her hair, Gwen opened her window and swung out into the night, a wide smile on her face.

I'm supergirl,

I'm everywhere,

Those flashin' lights they stop and stare.

I'm fire red,

I'm one more rule,

I'm in your head

everybody knows,

I'm, I'm, I'm supergirl…

(Next Issue: Gwen returns to her regular life in New York full of confidence. However, that confidence is put to the test when her old enemy Will O' the Wisp takes a room full of innocent people hostage, planning to murder them as revenge for crossing him before he obtained his powers. After the crushing defeat Spider-Woman suffered the last time she fought the Wisp, can she hope to even the score and rescue the Wisp's innocent victims? All this and more in Spider-Woman #57: Lights Out!)

AUTHOR'S NOTE

Spider-Woman's conflict with Jack O' Lantern, and the mystery of who was truly behind the pumpkin, have been two of the major plot elements of this series, and I give credit to Roger Stern and J.R. Fettinger for inspiring me to develop Jack O' Lantern and the mystery around him the way I did.

Roger Stern is the man who wrote the classic 1980s Spider-Man comics that originally created the Hobgoblin as the successor to the Green Goblin. One of the biggest draws of those stories was the question of who the Hobgoblin really was, which led to fans endlessly debating the answer. The way it was handled by Marvel was controversial, to say the least, but in the end Stern himself would return to the Spider-Man comics to reveal who the Hobgoblin really was. Stern was the man who originally came up with the mystery of the Hobgoblin's true identity, and it's to him that I owe my inspiration for creating Jack O' Lantern.

J.R. Fettinger, also known as Madgoblin, is not a comic book writer. Instead, he's a devoted Spider-Man fan who maintains the Spidey Kicks Butt website, where he's penned dozens of insightful articles discussing how the Spider-Man stories have evolved. Reading Fettinger's articles about Stern's original Hobgoblin saga got me thinking about how a villain's identity could be developed. When I began developing Ultimate Spider-Woman I remembered Fettinger's and Stern's writings and I became inspired to try and do something similar myself.

I should have included this entry at the end of issue #30, but it's only now that I really remembered to do so. Those story arcs would not be possible without Fettinger and Stern, and so I include this note as my way of expressing thanks to them for inspiring me.

-September 2022