Lost the battle

We continued to march forward. The forest was dense and beautiful as the leaves were lightly beginning to brown. They would fall very soon. Hopefully, Leo and I would find our own home by then.

I stayed close behind him in silence, my confusion overtaking my excitement to start a new, free life with him. I just couldn't comprehend why he would act so rashly only to apologize with sweet gifts later. The gifts seemed to be less thoughtful and more of a cheap escape. There I go, thinking negatively again. I keep trying to ignore these thoughts but I cannot sometimes.

I looked closely at him and just watched the way he was moving. His skin lighted glistened with sweat, shimmering in the sun. His skin was tan, likely from working outside for many years. His body was built like an angel and something about him made me feel like I couldn't survive without him by my side.

My legs were on fire by the time we finally reached the next village. He turned back and spoke to me for the first time since his apology.

"What do you say to a drink tonight?" He asked me with a large smile on his face. Even when we were together at the window in my room in the palace he never smiled so big. Curious. I nodded my head 'yes', afraid to disappoint him further.

As we made our way in we went to the local pub. I felt uncomfortable with all the men staring at me with lustful eyes, and I didn't feel any better when Leo was more in a hurry to the counter than to stay by my side. I quickly rushed after him and joined him. I was worried showing our faces here would bring trouble, but I knew better than to argue at this point. I looked down as I saw him place gemstones and coins on the counter and order more and more.

The people here were loud and obnoxious. Leo seemed to be having a good time but refused to let me try anything. "Alcohol is not for a LADYYYY" he drunkenly said as the bar erupted in laughter at me. I felt humiliated so I grabbed my pouch of money to walk out. He put his hand over mine and tightened his grip.

"Let go you are hurting me," I said as my anxiety rose higher.

"Where do you think you are going with my money?" He snarkily replied.

"You wouldn't have this without me, let go!" I snatched my hand anyway as he made an "ooooh" gesture and laughed it off. He sounded like an idiot, and I felt like one. I went over to the Inn next door and got a room for myself for the night. I ignored all the lustful eyes upon me and stormed off to the room and locked it for the night.

I let out a few more angry tears until I heard a knock at the door. It was Leo begging to come in for the night.

"My dear, I am sorry for being such an idiot. Please let me in!" He started to pound the door and I felt that same fear I feel when someone raises their voice. I covered my ears until I heard him scream "Fine! Be that way!" As he ran off somewhere.

I couldn't deny it more. How did he change so much over a few days? It wasn't only stress and alcohol, he was different. But I had no idea what to do without him, I would do anything for that boy like the idiot I am. I unlocked the door in case he came back. I tucked myself in for the night.

A few hours later I awoke to the sound of the door slightly open. I turned over and saw Leo staring at me with regret in his eyes.

"I'm so sorry," He said quietly. For the first time in a while, I believed his apology. He came next to me and all I could remember was us kissing in the moonlight just days ago, but it felt almost like a lifetime ago. He gave me some sweet kisses before suddenly stopping and falling asleep next to me. He started to snore loudly from all the alcohol he drank.

I wanted to go outside and walk to clear my head, but it was too dangerous in this area. Those lustful eyes from the bar popped back into my mind as I tried to fall back asleep. I slept again without dreams and awoke late in the morning.

For the third day in a row, the bed was empty and things were missing. My sack of jewels was gone again. Was this going to be a daily thing? I got up to get ready to look for Leo. I put the flowers from yesterday in my hair again but they had thorns. They prickled my head and I had to wipe away the blood. My stomach was telling me something would be very wrong today. As I went out to look for him, I found him at the corner of the inn with another woman.

My heart sank as I saw him hand over a few of my jewelry over to this woman. She was very beautiful and clearly flirting with him. I looked down and returned to the room, pretending I did not see anything. I couldn't leave on my own without my stones, and he was spending them all on booze and women. I truly am an idiot.

Finally, after what felt like hours he returned to me with a plate of breakfast. I shook my head no.

"I'm not hungry, let's just leave," I said. He knew something was wrong, but I couldn't tell if he didn't care why or because he already knew but knew I couldn't leave him. We left towards the woods.

As we were walking silently in the forest the images of the past few days played again and again in my head. They ate away at my strength until I grew weaker than I could bear. I continued to walk after him. Never feeling like I was catching up no matter how hard I was pushing myself for him. The point to turn back was long ago.

Kache popped into my mind again, how he never really pushed me this hard only to hurt me so deeply. I shook my head. This situation is so much different. Besides, he tried to trick me and played with my life long before my coma. My fury arose and it oddly gave me the strength to continue to run as far away as I could get from him.

After much more walking through the day, my legs were on fire. My feet were sore and blistered and Leo just kept going. My previous anger and stress were disappearing more with every step as the pain started to take over. I begged but he refused to stop for me anymore.

"The knights are too close, I feel it," He would repeat. He seemed paranoid. I kept going but eventually, my body gave up on me and I fell to my knees. He didn't stop for me.

"Wait, please!" I cried out behind him. He just kept going without looking back.

"Hurry up!" He yelled at me. I knew his apology meant nothing but to make me follow him more. Despite this, it was less scary than being alone as I continued. It didn't last long before the weakness overcome me and I saw those familiar black spots. I tried to fight the dark spots in my vision, knowing I would be left alone in the dangerous wilderness, but I wasn't able to win this time.