Consequences of my actions

"Please, let me clean myself first. I-I need some time before I've had one too many things happen lately," I asked him. I wanted to hear it but I don't know if I could handle anymore today. My mind was so full it felt as though it was going to explode, and the shock of Leo's true colors still hasn't worn off.

"Yes, yes of course I am sorry," He seemed so stressed about what he was doing with me that he even apologized for wanting to tell me the truth right away. A part of me appreciated the sweetness of that, but truthfully, I was still upset with myself for the past few days and for being fooled so easily to care much. I wasn't thrilled to be back here considering how I left things with him either.

Little Livian was called in to take care of me for the night. I was so happy to see her again but I felt such deep shame for leaving her and coming back filthy, in peasant clothes. I am not much of an older sister, am I? She kept her face serious around me for now as she escorted me back to the Mistress's palace.

When we arrived and she drew me a bath, she was still silent. I made a mistake and I don't know if I can correct it. I stayed silent for awhile longer but I finally knew I had to do what was right for her.

"I am sorry, Livian" I said. I didn't embellish it further but I saw her smile a little as she helped me wash the filth out of my hair.

"I wouldn't have told you about him if I knew you would run off and leave me. How could you do that to us?" She asked me, holding back her tears. I tried to hold back mine but it wasn't working well. A few slipped out as I tried to keep my voice steady as I talked to her.

"I-I don't know. I was so upset that he had been trying to force me to forget my previous life that, when I saw the door was open I went," I explained. It sounded silly once I said it out loud as I buried my face in my hands in shame. She rubbed my back.

"I know, you were struggling. He must have seemed like a dream come true. That's how you always described him to me. I never would have thought he would come to find you again truthfully," She said with a deep sadness in her voice.

"Why did you tell me about him?" I asked her more harshly than I intended to.

"I thought it was unfair for you to have to forget someone who was important to you. I didn't know he was this type of person. I only knew what you told me, which was merely a fantasy I see now," She picked up my arm with the deep red marks now bruised. She gently took the soapy cloth and washed it for me, symbolizing I need to clean myself from my past. Even though I was the reason it happened. I couldn't fight back the tears anymore as I cried at her sweet gesture.

"Please forgive me, I am so sorry. I won't leave you again," I cried to her. She sat to my side and pet my hair.

"Shh, shh, shh," She said. She hadn't said she forgave me, she may be kind but she is not one who is quick to change her stance. But I understood this was a step that she wanted things to be right between us again and wasn't going to hate me. She finished cleaning me and dress me into a brand new sparkling blue nightgown.

"Go to sleep now my lady. I will be back in the morning and we can talk more," she spoke so professionally now it was a bit shocking. There are always consequences for our actions, I can see even if she is younger she is more mature than me when it comes to relationships. I turned on my side trying to get a good night's sleep, but I found my dreams filled with regret and anxiety.

When the morning finally came I was awake early despite still feeling exhausted. I figured His Majesty wouldn't come until this evening to explain things. I went to the door to see if I could call for someone but as I felt the handle, it turned. My door wasn't locked. There is no way they were so careless to make the same mistake twice.

I opened the door and looked out in the hallway. There were maids and servants around, but nobody was stopping me from leaving. Has my escape made His Majesty change his mind some about how he treats me? This is certainly a first step at the very least.

I returned to my room and started to get ready for the day. I wanted to do something for Livian to start to rebuild our relationship. I broke what we had, and I should fix it. I put on a simple yellow flowy dress. It was perfect for an outing. Soon after I finished getting ready she came into my room.

"Oh, you're already ready," I nodded as I walked up to her.

"Where do you want to go today?" I asked her. Hoping she would allow me to treat her.

"No, let's not worry about that right now," my heart dropped.

"Okay, is there something I can do for you, please?" I begged her. I saw her smile shyly as she held my hands. I held on tight, excitedly awaiting her response.

"I want to have you treat me for the day, like my own personal lady-in-waiting," she said sweetly. I smiled with joy.

"It would be my pleasure, this will be fun!" My excitement rubbed off on her as I moved her to my bath house. I helped her soak in a warm rose bath like the ones she draws for me. I delicately washed her hair and dressed her in a beautiful violet dress I had in my closet. I placed her hair in a beautiful updo as she did for me when I first woke up, then, I placed some fine silver jewelry around her neck that I found in my room. The silver necklace had a large emerald pendant at the bottom, her favorite color and it looked perfect with the rich purple.

The day passed quickly as I adored Little Livian. I was enjoying talking and laughing with her again, and I respected all she did for me even more than I did before. She seemed to be enjoying herself.

"Please, please, your jewels are too much! You have been so kind to me, I missed you, my lady-"

"No, no. Today, you are MY lady. You can call me older sister if you want," I replied beaming at seeing her back so close to me. She teared up a little as she gave me a tight hug again. I can't believe I gave her up only to endure suffering from that man. I held her back for a while. She was much better than before, but I could tell she didn't fully trust I wouldn't hurt her again. That pain is what I caused, and it's something I'll have to live with knowing I did.

I heard a knock at my door and I saw through my window the sun had started it's descent into the west. I knew it was time to listen to His Majesty and see what he had to say. I nodded and Little Livian opened the door as he stepped inside. For once, he waited for someone to open the door for him. I let out a quick smile before remembering my anger at him.