Leave a Little Space for Yourself Each Day

Most people think they get this, but most people might be wrong. You may think you have a little quality time each day for yourself, but I bet you don't. You see, even in our time alone, we spend so much of it worrying about others, caring for our family, friends, and loved ones, that there is very little left over entirely for ourselves. What I am proposing isn't revo- lutionary or difficult or extreme. In fact, it's pretty easy. Just leave a little space for yourself each day. Perhaps only ten min- utes (ideally half an hour) put aside and devoted entirely to yourself. Selfish? You bet. Of course it is and justifiably so— you are the captain, the engine, the driving force, the motivator, the rock. You need that time to regenerate, renew, invigorate yourself. You need that downtime to recharge and repair. If you don't, you aren't taking on fresh fuel. Your engine will run down, and so will you.

So what are you going to do with that time? Answer: absolutely nothing. And I do mean nothing. This isn't time for lying in the bath, sitting on the toilet, meditating, reading the newspapers, or sleeping. This is a little space for you, a breather, a time to sit still and do absolutely nothing. Just breathe. I find that ten minutes sitting in the garden just breathing is a fantastic boost a couple of times a day. I sit there, not thinking, not doing, not worrying, just being, while I appreciate the pleasure of being alive.

I discovered this Rule when I was a teenager. I found it invalu- able as a way of purging myself of angst and worries. My mother used to call out to me, "What are you doing?" To which the reply was inevitably, "Nothing." And she would always reply, "Well come in here, and I'll find you something to do." She also used to say, "You'll never amount to anything by having your head stuck in a book." And the one I loved the most: "No one needs to think as much as you do." How do you answer that?

I find time spent doing nothing really important, and as soon as I complicate it, it loses something. If I add a cup of coffee to my solitude, then it's a coffee break and not a space just for me. If I listen to music, then it's a music break. If I have a companion with me and I chat, then it's a social occasion. If I read the papers then I have moved away entirely from the con- cept of a little space for me. Keep it simple. Keep it bare. Keep it pure.

IT IS THE LITTLE SPACE JUST FOR YOURSELF WHILE YOU DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.