Chapter 1. Not-so-beautiful Blossom

"Talk about being worthless."

I said in a monologue after being casted away over and over again. I'll get used to it.

Maybe…

But in the end, it always hurts.

Everytime I try to smile, people hate it. As soon as I start to cry, all of them say I'm such a weeper.

Just in my dreams, everything is alright.

. . .

Javionna Belle was a romantic, living her painful life as an escapist. But the truth is, there was no escape from reality. No matter how much we think of it.

The story started when Vionna was born in 2002. Both of her parents love her, and they still do. But now she has lost the ability to embrace it. What do you expect from someone who has been broken all the time? The more time goes by, the more happiness feels like an illusion.

As a kid, young Vionna filled her day with hope towards the future. Never once crossed her mind that life would be tragic. "Bye Mom! I'm going to school with Dad," she spoke while stepping down the stairs. The sun was shining brightly, as bright as the little child's eyes. Getting on the motorcycle with a normal amount of people in sight, that day was just a normal morning. Nothing special except for the gift of life and a breath of fresh air she accepted.

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" A simple question yet to reply is quite challenging if we think about it now. Gradually, the answers are getting more complex. But worry not, in elementary school, everyone expected some simple yet cute feedback.

"A doctor!"

"Police officer!"

"A teacher just like you Ma'am!"

But Vionna is different. Her passion for games and gadgets led her to the answer "I wanna be an employee at a famous game developer company!" It was the first time her teacher heard such a specific inspiring goal like hers. At that very moment, all the girl wanted was to just have fun while working. No thoughts about money, competition, or responsibility. Only one beautiful world of a child's dream.

. . .

"What do you mean we will be kicked out of this house?" Vionna's mother screamed in confusion. The lonely little girl could only eavesdrop behind the door. Hugging her favorite kitty doll, she felt tension rising as her father responded.

"You heard that right! We can't pay our debt anymore. This business is fucking ruined, all thanks to you!" Finger pointing directly at his wife.

She quirked her brows, "Me? Now I'm the one you blame?"

"Yes! I told you we don't need to owe them money. A small restaurant is enough to support the three of us, but your greedy self wanted to open a bigger one. In the middle of the city!" He shot her a look.

"It was a good opportunity!"

"What opportunity? Now we have nowhere to go."

"No no, I can still work this out," she desperately searched for a solution, stepping here and there biting her nails.

"They're going to confiscate this house, Lana! Wake up! There's nothing we can do," the tall man grabbed his wife's shoulders, keeping her in place.

. . .

"Mommy, are we homeless?" Vionna stepped outside her room.

"No honey, who said that?" The young mom kneeled in front of her beloved daughter with a face full of worry.

"Just now, mommy and daddy were-"

The girl's voice was interrupted by a more manly one. "Hey, we will still sleep on a comfortable mattress, you'll still be able to play games as you like, mommy will prepare you breakfast, lunch and dinner. Okay sweetheart? So don't worry," his big palm landed on top of his daughter's head, messing up her delicate hair more.

A lot of valuables were sacrificed that month, but the small family of three managed to survive and continue forward. Father's promise is still a promise, he and his wife worked hard to make it come true.

. . .

Spending her adolescence with a modest lifestyle, Vionna has stopped gaming since she was 14. Saving money for her family is way more important than spending it on gadgets and videogames. What a mature way of thinking for a young teenager. Growing up until 18, she decided to work at an infamous coffee shop in town.

"What is your career goal?" The neat interviewer with a suit asked the girl. "To make enough money to support my family," is Vionna's actual genuine reply. But knowing how business works, "I want to learn more and continue to develop myself while providing my best for the benefit of this company and the customers," was the answer she decided to go with.

In the end, she has erased all her high hopes, keeping them inside her daydreams. All she wanted was to just live the life she designed in her mind. But the heart kept believing that the universe will not let it happen.