Before Rewrite, Chapter 1: Life: Burn to Death Edition

I don't trust you enough to give my name, and I don' t need your help decoding this phenomenon in front of me.

This thing I am looking at reminds me of a wish I had when I was still alive. It is a reincarnation panel. Yes, you heard that right. No GOD, ROB or even truck-kun. I was eating with my family and *blink* then I am here. I literally just blinked, and this happened. Something that frustrates me a lot is that I was about to finish my meal and go play the last boss fight in Elden Ring, again. F**k Radagon, the Elden Beast is easier than him. And while that is true, Radagon takes away my health flasks, leaving me with only 2 or 3 of them. To make matters worse, they are only +6. Even then, the most frustrating thing about this situation is that my mom just found me a potential wife, and I was going to propose to her soon. Now all that is not going to happen.

My disappointment is immeasurable, and my life is ruined, or is it afterlife now? Nah, it does not matter anymore. Why may you ask? Because a game-like panel tells me that I DIED in a way that I don't remember, since it was too embarrassing that they have had mercy on me and erased it from my memory. Good, now I don't know how I died to avoid it the next time.

(AN: he miraculously choked on a "smaaaall" bite of mashed potato, yep, MASHED potato, where some of it entered his airway, clogging it and eventually killing him, lol)

"I swear on my very soul, I am going to get married to women from my waifu list if I ever get the chance" I say that knowing that I may not be able to do it.

Time for the important things. The panel provides me with a choice of world and two starting skills. A good thing about the skills thingy is that it did not decide on any limitations whatsoever. On a shadier note, almost nothing comes without either a catch or a price. Of which there are none here.

Deciding to ignore the possible downsides, I put the world I wanted the most. As for the skills, they were as follows:

The first one is called absolute reincarnation.

It does the following:

- Carrying whatever was gained in a world and choosing if to apply everything, as in everything related to one world, I will be asked about the worlds individually, upon the moment I reincarnated, or any time I want after.

- NEVER to be soft-locked in a world in case I gain immortality.

Now how that works is that if somehow, I gained immortality, I will have the choice to forcefully reincarnate whenever I want to.

- The MOST IMPORTANT thing however is that I can summon my wives and children, if I have any, to the world I reside in at the time of summoning.

- The Skill activates for first time when experiencing my second death.

- Reincarnation target is random.

- With their consent, I can summon my friends, the close ones at least, to one world and one world only. Meaning that once they are summoned through this skill, they are not going to be available to summon in any world after that.

- The reincarnations stop if I return to the second world.

The second skill is even more absurd. It is called The Blessing of Inheritance.

- I can get only one skill from each of my parents.

- I can pass whatever number of skills I want to my descendants, before they are borne that is. (AN: Children, grandchildren etc.)

After confirming my world of choice and skills, I was surprised to see the panel asking me to input my backstory and appearance. After contemplating my backstory and finally writing it, I went then to decide my appearance. My build will take after my father while my color scheme will be such that my hair is a mix of silverish-white with golden tufts here and there. As for my eyes, they are golden with a crimson-red pattern in the irises with a clear, white sclera. (AN: some people are born with an ashen-gray or a yellow sclera)

After another confirmation, it was time for my first reincarnation.

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This one was an okay life, loving parents that care about your wellbeing every waking moment. An easily, overly embarrassed father, and an air-headed mother. I smile thinking: 'I cannot stress enough how wondrous this mother of mine is, combining being an airhead and a sharp woman at the most convenient of times. No wonder dad fell for her'.

I was devastated when I got rejected by one of the waifus whose name is on my, admittedly short, list because of an age difference. Good thing she gave me a promise that she will marry me if could go back and propose to her younger self. Knowing one of my skills could throw me to a world where I get time travel powers, I got hope back and resolved to do try it.

At the age of 10 years, I deemed it suitable and asked my parents to train me. Seeing as both were adventurers, they agreed to do so while drilling in my brain the idea of being as careful as possible. I thought sadly: 'I was not careful enough when it mattered'.

When I became 15 and was going to a dungeon alone for the first time, I, in my stupid fantasies, thought that I would be able to rescue some damsel and fall in love with each other. It looks like my great grandfather's curse runs deep within the family. With that purpose in mind, I went to the 20th floor, got poisoned with, exactly, 50 types of poison.

(AN: 50 shades of fu**ed)

What I saw there was a monster that resembled the one that annihilated my great grandfather's group. My heart stopped when it turned to gaze at me.

The thing that killed me wasn't the monster, it was the combination of poison. Specifically, one poison that blurred my vision enough I confused the monster in front of me with the other, stronger monster. That confusion made me fear it, enough to allow the mix of deadly poisons in my body to kill me with a heart attack. What an embarrassing death yet again. The worst part was when I heard a voice saying "Heh, casual" and seeing the words "YOU DIED" written in bold bloody text.

I don't know if I should feel good or bad about this. Maybe I should feel blessed to have seen monsters so rare, that some of them weren't recorded. In hindsight, I should feel ashamed. I should have stocked on some antidotes knowing the floor is plague with poisonous monsters.

Positive view, it was almost painless, almost. And it activates my skill too. Very NEGATIVE view, I woke up finding myself in one ash-filled coffin with walking, shriveled corpses around me.

Yep, curse my luck. To start my actual journey at Dark Souls 3 of all places.

MC talking to himself: "Good luck me".

MC replying to himself: "To you too me".

Good thing I was addicted to the Dark Souls first and third installations, enough to know how to keep some people around me sane enough.

I finally finished my little crisis there to look at myself and determine what class I got, only to freeze at the sight of my set. It was the druid set. The catalyst was the same Verdant Bough. The weapon, however, was a simple strait sword rather than the usual Jade Dagger. It was mostly the Druid set from the convergence 2 mod. Thanks to the creators of such an epic mod. And if what I assume is true then that means I will get to re-build my favorite Arch Druid build.

And off we go. A little bit forward, then take a right to grab the soul item there. Proceed towards the hollow sleeping near the crucible, charge a strong hit at him for fun, then go to the right again. Kill the other hollows in my path, then to the crystalized path.

"These hollows are a joke, they are so clumsy they swing their blades the wrong way more often than not (got almost taken by surprise by the crossbow wielding one).

Here I am hoping that the Ravenous Crystal Lizard would be more of a challenge.

There was once a Ravenous Crystal Lizard in the Cemetery of Ash, "was" as in it is dead now. Sad that I couldn't get the souls and the titanite scale, I went to examine the corpse. It was a good thing because it allowed me the knowledge that the others' worlds are more consistently linked than in the game. Proof of that would be the big gash in the softer parts of its skin. (AN: this is an AU where corpses of non-respawning enemies stay there until someone disposes of them, bosses included)

"WAIT A MINUTE, if they are real people here then I can simply go and propose to her. Although someone may say that it is a case necrophilia, what with us being walking corpses and all that. Pfffftttt, like I should care. Really, she is alive, mostly. But I should wait on that. She may see a creep in me if I immediately propose to her without knowing each other first".

After my mad talk-to-self dialogue, I went to the first bonfire, lit it, then proceeded to ignore the hollows there like a Chad. Remembered to grab the titanite shard on the coffin in the crevice left of the little fork and the firebombs at the end of the cliffside.

Now it was time for Gundyr, and oh boy was it a death sentence every time I faced him. The first time I died to him was me thinking that I am smart, by rolling through the first swing of his glaive, trying to deliver a hit to his ankles, only to be kicked so hard, I was sent to gravity hell. Yeah, the right side of the arena sucks. Also, I hate you Miyazaki. *Proceeds to get backstabbed by a bare-foot hollow*.

Barefoot hollow: "Nobody is allowed to hate our lord and savior".

Round two, I discovered something. They have a freer move set, as in they can change the angle of the hits to their liking. Their grip on the handle too, like when he held it like a small hand axe.

"Oh no, they are less telegraphed. Now almost all I know about their moves is useless, since they can also delay or hasten their moves to suit the situation. WHO DARED DO THIS TO ME?".

(AN: I did)

Round three, finally decided to use the Summon Hound-Rat spell, hoping the toxic from the rat's attacks would proc. Lady luck flipped at me. Gundyr went to the rat and ignored me completely. Once he was done with the rat, he turned to me. And then I saw doing something, he was standing there, menacingly. I had mercy on myself by jumping to gravity hell voluntarily this time. Now some of you may be asking why I didn't use the Essence Strike spell. The answer is simple. I wanted to kill him without it, that is all there is to it.

After much trial and error, it was time for the final showdown.

The fight started with me keeping my distance, spamming Essence Strike after another like a certain all-spamming Gideon Ofnir. A spell there, and a slash here in between dodges. It all went wrong when he suddenly fell over with a part of the ledge right after entering faze two.

Mc: "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I WAS SURE TO FINISH HIM OFF THIS TIME, BUT NOOO, HE HAS TO FALL BECAUSE THE FLOOR CRUMBLED UNDER HIM".

(AN: of course, it could crumble you salty fool. It was leaning down ready to crumble at any moment, and considering his weight, it wasn't unexpected to happen. Especially after increasing his mass in faze two)

I left after lighting the bonfire, ignoring what happened and trying to forget it so it does not help in making me go hollow.

Firelink shrine was insight. All I must grab was the ember to the side, which was easy. I just summoned my trusty rat to deal with the malnourished dog guarding it.

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After I entered the shrine, I immediately broke into a sprint, yelling:

"Aaaaaannnnndddddrrrreeeeee-OMPH". Only to get punched in the face by boxing lord Andre of Astora himself.

"Classic Andre".

"I don' reckon that we know each other, kid" Andre spontaneously denies knowing me.

"Does the name Nephelont ring any bells in your old head?" I asked him in a sarcastic manner.

"No" he denied it.

I swipe a fake tear from my left eye "You make me cry. What about time shenanigans?".

"No" he denied that too.

At this point, I was about to doubt my plans' viability. Until...

"Hah Hah Hah, of course I remember ya'" I sigh in relief "ya' old fool" says Andre.

I stare blankly at him "That was uncalled for, I am 15".

Andre asked worriedly "really?".

"Yes. Do you remember what I told you about time shenanigans?".

Andre cracks his fingers menacingly, while some characters appear floating behind him, "It caused me headaches that lasted for far too long every time I thought about those theories of yours, so much I wanted to punch your face in" then he remembers something and asks in wonder "don' tell me ya' really did it?".

"Considering you know me, then yes, it seems I succeeded in doing so. Don't tell or hint me about anything that happened back then".

Andre: "ya' need not worry, I still remember ya' sayin': "If you ever stumble upon a younger me, NEVER tell him about the happenings of the past, not even hint it, not to a person who can travel through time, they will jumble the timeline and make this worlds time even more convoluted than it already is". 'tis too far back I almost forgot it. So, takin' your advice, not gonna tell ya' anything about the past".

"Good. Did you succeed?" I ask him expectantly.

He replied to me in wonder "Didn' ya' tell me not to tell ya' anything?!"

I sigh "Both of us know that my future self told you to make something the last time you met him"

"Fine, only this time. Ay, she was a real pain to make, but 'tis a success, nonetheless. It will cost a lot of souls for ya' to get it in your hands, though" Andre assures me.

"Did my future self not pay for it?!" surprised by his statement, I asked him.

"No, he didn' pay for it. He also left saying "Let me pay when it is ready". It seems ya' left yourself with a big surprise, hah hah hah" he informed me and then laughed at the predicament my future self threw at me. I hate you my future self. I expected no less from you. You make me proud.

"Then I will take that babe later when I can, goodbye for now" I bid him farewell for now.

"Be careful out there, neither of us wants to see you go hollow" Andre tells me, with a tone that implies he wants to confirm something.

What he said made me smile warmly and say "Will do, old-young man" I then proceeded to turn around to leave.

Andre, satisfied, says "Some things never change" then he went back to hammering with renewed vigor.

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I walk back out of there to the open area within the shrine. 'I swear I just saw that old handmaiden giving me a swindler's, a creepy, smile for a moment' I look suspiciously at her and walk away carefully.

I see Hawkwood, the soggy potato, sitting on the stairs at his usual spot, preparing his usual boring, demoralizing dialogue which I won't listen to.

I look up to see Leonhard leaning on the throne of Lothric like always, waiting for something. 'Oh just you wait, your end is near'. Leonhard felt a chill run through his spine, looked around and found nothing, then shrugged it off like the always-shady person he is.

'THAT WAS CLOSE, he almost caught me staring at him with my intent obvious in my eyes' I though.

I see Ludlith eyeing me curiously, but nothing else really. I wave my hand towards him in greetings, and he returns it back with what seems to be interest. 'Did I trigger any hidden flag to gain his interest just like that?!' I thought not knowing he has put his hopes on me becoming the next Lord of Cinder.

Then I saw her, the first one to be pursued in my waifu list. The lovely Firekeeper. I was looking at her when some soggy potato wanted to speak.

"Stop there stranger, I am not listening to your demoralizing BS" I said to him flatly.

"Kids these days...." he grumbled with the last part being a little over a whisper.

I walk up to her and greeted her with a "Greetings lady, I am Nephelont of Oratoria" I saw her smile then she started talking "Welcome to the bonfire, Unkindled One. I am a Fire Keeper. I tend to the flame, and tend to thee. The Lords have left their thrones, and must be deliver'd to them. To this end, I am at thy side".

I wanted to start a conversation, so I presented her the coiled sword and said, "What do you think I should do with this coiled sword?".

"Produce the coiled sword at the bonfire. The mark of ash will guide thee to the land of the Lords. To Lothric, where the homes of the Lords converge" was her answer.

"That I will do. But might I ask, have you happened upon an onion knight of Catarina?"

"Thou art talking about sir Siegward?" Her question confirmed his identity.

"Yes, that one. Hope he is doing fine" sighing in relief, I said "Goodbye then, I will be out for a while".

"Farewell ashen one, may the flame guide thee" I will change the way you say that, just you wait. I won't accept a scripted talk.

I don't know what this ominous feeling is, but I will deal with it when it comes.

After conveniently ignoring my tingling ominous feels, I teleported to the High Wall of Lothric to begin my plans.