Chapter 9

The drive back was mostly quiet, which was nerve wrecking for Cassandra. She didn’t know what to expect and what’s worse is that deep down she wanted something to happen.

Richard kills the engine, helps the lady out of the car and into the elevator, silently walking her to her room.

“Can’t say I didn’t have fun tonight. It had been a while.” He smiles when they stop at her door.

“I did too. Thank you!” she smiles innocently and blushes, her thoughts far from innocent.

“I…” he studies her body language not sure how to interpret it.

It has never been an issue for Richard to know what a woman wants, but Cassandra is a mystery to him. Sometimes she acts bold enough to make him think he has a green light, then shies away making him doubt where his limits are.

“You what?!” she brings him back from his thoughts, her fingers slightly touching his torso from over the material of his shirt.

Maybe he is reading the signals all wrong, but he couldn’t care less in that moment. He leans down and attacks her lips, his arms pulling her tightly against his body. The moan leaving Cassandra’s mouth makes his jeans too tight for his comfort. They walk into the room not letting go of each other and Richard takes it as consent from her part.

His hands go to her ass and give it a bruising squeeze right before he pulls her up. Her legs wrap around his waist and she clings tightly to his body. Her back meets the soft mattress in no time, feeling Richard’s weight pressing her into it further. His lips move to her neck leaving a trail of kisses all the way to her shoulder where he bites gently. Her hands go under his tshirt and up his toned back, fingers burning at the contact. Richard hisses at her cold touch, his erection getting harder, pressing between her legs. Getting the clue, he leaves her for a heartbeat to remove his shirt and studies her flushed face through hooded eyes.

Cassandra pulls him back to her in a kiss laced with desire as his hands go under her sweater touching every inch of her stomach all the way up to her breast. Her movements stop when his hand cups one of her boobs and Richard stops abruptly retrieving his hand and raising to sit on his knees.

“I’m sorry. Did I go too far?” the concern in his eyes made her cover her face with her hands and shake her head no.

“What is it Cassandra? Talk to me. I’m sorry if I…”

“I’m sorry.” Her weak voice came muffled by her hands. He removes them and looks into her eyes deeply.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for, sweets.”

“Is it a good time to disclose something I should have told you earlier? It’s not your fault Richie, you couldn’t have known.” He raises a brow at her words, pondering what she has been keeping from him. She takes his silence as a yes and speaks again:

“I’m a virgin.”

“What the fuck?!” he jumps from the bed like it’s on fire and paces the room. “What the hell is wrong with you? Are you knocked on the head or what? You should have told me that. I could have-

“I’m sorry, ok?” A tear escapes her eye and it makes him stop dead in his track. “I know you’re mad at me, I-“

“Stop talking.” He returns to the bed and sits by her feet.

“I’m not mad at you. I’m…fucking hell! I could have hurt you. Do you realize that? Come here!” He takes her hand and pulls her to him, making her sit on his lap.

“I’m sorry.” She whispers burying her face in his neck.

“Stop saying that. There’s nothing wrong with it. I just, wouldn’t know what to do with myself if I had hurt you like that. It’s important Cassandra, the mutual consent and respecting your partner. I want you to enjoy it, not to hurt. And believe me, it would have hurt like hell. That’s not how you want your first time to be.”

“I just know that I feel safe with you. I want it to be with you.”

“Look at me.” He orders in a soft voice and she does. “I’m honored. Ok? I truly mean it, just, we need to take it slow. I have to come clean with you and confess that I’ve never been someone’s first before. What I know though, is how rough I can be in bed and I can’t be that with you. Teach me how to make you feel good, ok? Teach me how to touch you, teach me your pace. I’m willing to walk every step with you from zero. I promise to make it good. We have to trust each other.”

She blushes at his words and tries to cover her face again but he stops her.

“Don’t shy away from me. Tell me what you want.”

“I want you to kiss me.” she whispers and his lips are on hers in the blink of an eye.

“Gonna need a cold shower baby.” He lets a frustrated laugh. “Can I touch you?”

“Please do!” she moans flustered.

“Tell me what’s the farthest you’ve gone before.” He asks in a strained voice.

“You stole my first kiss at the pool.” Her chest trembles in a little laughter. He looks up amazed by the answer.

“I see. Another first you concealed from me.” he kisses her a little more aggressive this time and puts her back on the bed trapping her body with his. Richard feels like the teenager he never was, only laying there talking and casually kissing and slightly groping. He had never kept things this innocent in his life.

After what felt like ages, yet the blink of an eye at the same time, Richard sits up and fixes his clothes. A thousand thoughts run through his mind. He wants to stay. He wants to leave. He wants to stay so badly, yet is afraid if he stays longer, he might ruin her. His past might ruin her. His darkness might ruin her.

“Stay the night?” is the first thing she manages to whisper, making his body go cold and immobile.

She already took so many of his firsts, touching hands, kissing just for the sake of it, making him stray from his usual ways and now she wants another first. Sleeping on the same bed with her. He takes a deep breath, briefly closing his eyes and silently nods. There goes nothing! He relaxes his mind and the terrorizing thoughts screaming for him to bolt.