I Do What I Want

Play list for this Chapter: Mirror ball by Taylor Swift

I looked at her intently through half-lidded eyes. Her eyes were still closed as she breathed heavily, the voices of our panting the only ones in this dark night.

"Well fuck." She whispered and I smirked, pulling away from her and looking at her intently. She looked up at me and I saw her cheeks turn a light shade of pink.

"Carina." (Cute) I whispered and she looked up into my eyes, still shocked.

"Wh-why did you do that?" She said slowly, as if thinking about her words carefully. "And why are you here right now, it's like, 2 a.m." She looked at me in disbelief.

"I thought of you." Was all I said and her eyes widened.

"No, I meant... why did you... kiss me?" She said the word kiss like it was a sin. Like she could never do such a thing. It felt like sin. And boy was I fond of sin.

"I wanted to." I told her like everything else made perfect sense, and that a person whom she hardly knew and had met only three or four times now, mostly out of mere coincidence had suddenly kissed her.

I did suddenly kiss her. And it felt good. Too fucking good.

I looked deep into her blue eyes, searching for something. Anything.

But all I saw was a war raging inside. Confusion. Surprise. Shock. And I didn't believe the words left my mouth until after the weight of them settled in the crisp night air.

"Can I come in?" She looked at me like I'd just asked for her head.

She cleared her throat before speaking. "Sure." And cleared a path for me to walk through. I took off my coat and hung it behind her, getting a good whiff of her rosy scent along with it.

"You can come in my room... I don't want to wake the others." She seemed a little hesitant but nonetheless led me upstairs and into the farthest room in the house, down the hall.

"You alone up here?" I asked her and she shook her head.

"No." She said it like she didn't need to explain who else stayed on this floor, and truthfully, she didn't. But a curious part of me wanted to know if it was the male or female friend of hers. "Quel ragazzo viveva con te in precedenza?" (Did that guy live with you previously? I whispered to myself. I wanted to know.

She kept the door open halfway like I was probably going to kidnap her or something. But I couldn't blame her. She plopped down on her bed and crossed her bare legs, gesturing me to sit on the couch across. I sat down, getting comfortable and looked at her expectantly. She was everywhere. Her scent, her clothes, her things. Everywhere.

I could practically see the questions swirling in her mind, but her eyes said otherwise. Like she was debating whether or not she should talk to me.

"Who are you, really?" She suddenly asked me, eyeing me suspiciously. The latter it was.

I ran my tongue across my upper teeth. I feared this question. "Why do you ask?" I said and she sighed.

"Please don't evade my question. You do that a lot." She spoke and I smirked.

I guess I did do that.

Truth was, I did what I wanted. Spoke when I felt like and answered what I thought was necessary.

Is this necessary? The question bubbled inside me till it was all that echoed in my head. Is she necessary?

I took a deep breath before answering. Might as well rip the band aid off.

"I'm someone dangerous. Someone you wouldn't want to be concerned with. Seen with. Or have anything to do with at all." I answered simply, because it was the truth.

"Why?" She asked me with curious eyes.

"You heard of gangsters?" I asked her and she regarded me closely.

"Yeah." She answered. "Don't tell me you're a gangster." She looked at me skeptically and I huffed a breath of amusement, tracing my thumb across my jaw.

"Let's just say I'm someone... worse... More... dangerous..." I looked at her and she nodded slowly like she understood.

"Anything else?" She raised her eyebrows questioningly like I hadn't told her I was capable of ending lives. Not directly but indirectly obviously.

"You're not scared of me, are you?" I felt a small smile of amusement tug at my lips as I asked her that question.

"No... Why would I be scared of you? Am I supposed to be?" She put her elbows on her thighs and rested her face on her palms.

I got up from my seat and walked over to her. What should I tell her? That I could put a bullet in anyone's head without hesitation or regret? Or that I could destroy lives with the flick of a finger? That the majority of the world trembled at the sound of my name and people stopped breathing when I was around. What good would that do me? If I told her I was the Don of the Italian Mafia? Or that I had a gun strapped to me at the moment that I could pull out any second if the need arose?

I huffed out a sardonic breath and stretched out my hand, tracing my thumb over her jawline, stopping at her lower lip and tugging it out from beneath her teeth. She was biting her lip for fuck's sake. Her face turned a light shade of pink as she registered what I had done.

Cute.

"You should be. For your own good. People like me have enemies. Lots of them. And they shoot anyone within a ten mile radius of me because a person who I'm willing to talk to for more than ten seconds is considered important to me in their eyes." I told her, watching her eyes widen a bit in alarm, like she just realized the danger she was in.

"But you seem like a nice person. From what I've noticed at least..." She trailed off, looking behind me at the wall before raising her gaze to my eyes. I sucked in a sharp breath.

Those eyes could kill.

"Did you just call me... nice?" I asked her, amusement laced in my words and she noticed it, the way she frowned when my hand fell from her face.

"Why? Hasn't anyone called you nice before?" She asked me in disbelief and I shook my head, running a hand across my jaw.

"I've been called a lot of things before and frankly, no where close to nice. Mai bello." (Never nice) As soon as I said this she smiled.

"Well... I guess I'm the first then, aren't I?" I smirked at her indifference.

"I guess you are." I whispered, almost inaudible if not for the pin drop silence in the room.

"Okay then...Why did you kiss me?" She asked me suddenly while I turned around to take a good look at her room. Pictures lined a lone wall. Must be her family, I thought.

"Because I wanted to." I told her, still examining the pictures.

"Right... And I'm assuming you do anything you want to do because you're used to getting everything and anything you want?" I looked at her this time and smirked.

"Correct." I told her and turned back to the pictures.

Ragazza intelligente. (Smart girl)

"And now that you've gotten what you wanted, you won't do it again?" She asked me and I could hear the curiosity in her voice. I wasn't letting her go that easily.

"Who says I won't do it again?" I told her like the selfish bastard I was, without looking at her, but I could feel her gaze burn a hole through my back.

"But why though? I'm sure many girls are pining for your attention like they were at the restaurant." She told me, and I could hint the indifference in her voice. Like she didn't care.

I gave her my attention, and she didn't care.

"Does that bother you?' I asked her with a straight face.

"Why would it bother me? I hardly know you." She said that with as much expression as I would when I tortured someone. Nessuno. None. And somehow that bothered me like an itch I couldn't get rid of.

"I should get going now." I said, turning to face her and saw her deep in thought, eyebrows furrowed. She looked cute when she thought too hard. A stray strand of hair fell on her face and I had the urge to push it behind her ears so it wouldn't bother her. My hands itched to touch that soft and silky skin again but instead they formed a fist at my sides and when she finally looked up, I averted my gaze.

It's time to go.

I put my coat on and looked at her while she tried to stifle a yawn.

"I'm sorry for showing up so late." I told her but the truth was, I wasn't sorry at all. I would do it again if I could. And I would. She nodded her head as she closed the front door and I heard the click of a lock, then the shuffling of feet running up the stairs. I looked at my watch. 3 A.M. I started my car and with one last look at the house, I drove off.

One bet down.