Terrified II

It may not have been as innocent a coincidence as she thought it to be.

Nothing associated with Silla ever is. Seol returns to her rooms partially packed away for her northern journey to find what they say are festival compliments from her betrothed. Prince Daean had never shown any inclination of celebrating festivals with her that Seol finds it particular. Accompanying a flowery note that said "may your rides be smooth, unhindered and your roads full of delights" is a set of saddle gear, decorated in Silla colors of bronze and purple.

Seol holds it for a moment, before the carriage accident runs through her head.

May your rides be smooth …

"Where are you heading - mama!"

Dumping the contents of the gift on her unmade bed, Seol strides out. Min Ha who had been bringing out water to attend to her bruised arm calls after her. The passageways are deserted, servants having withdrawn to watch the boating competition being held at the lake. Seol foregoes attending to her aching knee in favor of finding what has happened to her carriage. She limps across the courtyard and leaves through the unattended doors of her pavilion - in search of the carriage yard.

She is there just in time for the carriage that had taken her to the mercy house in the evening is being brought as she enters. The aids bringing in the horses that dragged the structure in pause startled at her sight, before sinking into bows.

"Gongjunim," they echo.

Seol straightens up, trying to mask the nagging pain in her knee and the throbbing ache of her shoulder. She waves away their courtesies.

"Carry on," she tells them. "I don't wish to hinder your duties. I simply wanted to -" it's a feat to approach them without exhibiting the limp or flinching at the effort. "-check my carriage."

The torches burn bright, dispelling what shadows twilight has cast upon the carriage yard. Seol doesn't need much aid to examine the coach that had almost taken her down with it. There are scratches along the axis that fits the wheel - pockmarks along and under the driver's seat where connections to the reins where looped into. Seol drags in a breath, something squeezing painfully in her chest.

"Mama?"

She turns to Seo with eyes half blinded with tears of fury.

"Explain -" she says, without preamble, gesturing with a shaking arm towards the wreckage. "Explain how this is an accident - and this -" she produces that letter scroll from her sleeve, shaking it open, "-and this is a happy coincidence!"

Seo frowns, reaching instinctively for the letter. Seol relinquishes it, still trying to control her own raging panic. She watches how his silver eyes roam the few lines of writing, his jaw clenching.

"Leave us," he issues a low voiced command to the aids, who look rather relieved to leave the vicinity of the furious princess. He folds the letter, silver eyes flicking to hold hers. In the torch light she sees the fury there - a spark of true anger that seems to calm her racing heart.

Seol knows enough of carts and wheels to recognize a wheel that has been tampered with. In fact whoever had done this particular task had done such a lousy job on it - with all the sharp nailed pockmarks along the axis - it was as if they had wanted her to realize, wanted her to know -

"They are watching," Seol completes the thought out loud. She brings her arms to hug herself, tapping on her shoulders, suddenly catching a drift of winter. "This is a warning - a demonstration. If they had truly wanted to cause harm - they would have." She looks up at him, dark eyes full of cold resignation. "Neither my father's name - nor your presence would have stopped them."

Still Seo doesn't speak. His silence begins to prick at her and her fears bubble up.

"This is the family you want me to marry to?" She demands, trying to curb the hysterical sobs that she feels building up. "Why are you all so -"

Seo pulls her into a side hug. His arm wraps around her bruised shoulder tenderly. Held against it, she could hear the thunder of his heart.

"No one would hurt you - mama," he promises. "It will not be allowed."

Seol laughs drily, pulling away from him.

"Truth is you cannot stop them - Kang Seo. Even if you know the best way to do it - you won't."

"Mama -"

"Didn't you tell me to weigh everything as a choice between my duty and what hinders it? This marriage - this alliance with Silla will take away everything that makes me the princess I am. So - no - I refuse to bind myself to them! I refuse to cower under these -" she snatches the letter from his hands and tears it into shreds. "-sugar coated threats. Let them spy, let them stalk. At the end of the day - they will come here and bow to my father! As long as I have a say on this matter - I say no! Silla will never have a claim on this princess! Never!"

"Mama -" he tries one last time, to stop her before she rushes out. She throws him a look of pure annoyance over her shoulder.

"I need to pack."

*

Yun and Yeo drag her to the boating feast. Both of them have carved sailboats that Seo had made for them. The participants write wishes and prayers on their sails and set the boats down on the brook, gently floating into the lake. Each boat carries a short candle, which would set the entire thing alight once it reaches the end of its wick.

It is a beautiful and sad way to bid farewell to a season gone by. Prayers are being said to thank the deities for a plentiful harvest - for the rains among other things. Seol watches as they make Yong do the bows in their father's place - the inner city dwellers blessing him as he passes.

Yun and Yeo want her to write on their boats. Not because they couldn't - Yun clarifies - but because her penmanship is superior. Yun wants a younger sister in the new year and Yeo wants a war horse. Seol dutifully copies their wishes into their sails and hands the boats to be floated.

There are other kids dancing on the banks. Children of noblemen and courtiers mingling on the rare opportunity granted to them.

"I believe I have a promise to keep," Seo joins her with another sailboat in his hands. "For you mama - as promised."

Seol appreciates the gesture. The craftsmanship of her boat is far superior to the child princes' ones.

"You know the original aim of this ritual was to burn off your regrets and secrets," he tells her, his eyes shifting to the brook which had turned into a dazzling display of floating candlelight. "Soldiers of the unification times had started it, knowing their last letters would never reach home before their remains would. They instead burnt them - secrets between them and the deities."

"Do you have a boat of your own Kang Seo?"

He turns to her, silver eyes stained muted gold in the candle light.

"I don't regret the way I have lived, mama."

Seol nods, holding the boat against her bosom.

"Won't you set it off?"

She takes a moment to answer, that moment she revels in holding his gaze.

"I'd rather not share my secrets with deities."

*