Haunted Hopes Of Freedom

Amber was relieved of the fear of being kidnapped again by her abusers. "Troy has come back for me. I need him like I need my next breath. Maybe he thinks I'm dirty and doesn't want me anymore; I will prove to him I'm not so he will keep me. After the memories came back in a flood, I couldn't ever imagine being owned, but being owned by Troy would be my fairy tale".

Jumbled thoughts keep racing through her head, making it impossible to think straight. "His actions don't match his words half the time. He says he's going to leave me and never bother me again, but his intimate touches feel like he's claimed me already. How do you release someone who you consider yours? The old adage, if you love someone, set them free. If they come back to you, they're yours, if they don't they never were, does not apply to me. If he leaves me, I will break. In my panic, I shake my head and feel the slice of the knife into my skin; recoiling, I dropped the knife to the floor. I have to make him see reason. I will be better; I know who I am now".

She crawls as fast as she could and wrapped her arms around him. He is caught off guard and falls back to the floor with her on top of him. "I am not dirty; they didn't rape me." She sobs.

"Please, I will be better, please don't leave me again." I don't know if he can understand me through the sobbing, but I have to make him hear me. I scramble up his body to rain kisses down his face except he doesn't move or reciprocate. He is frozen beneath me; I can't even feel the rise and fall of his chest. Maybe I am too broken, and he doesn't want someone so damaged. Embarrassment floods me, and I try to move off of him, but his hands grab my hips to hold me in place".

Troy, looking so confused and terrified said "Baby, you need to calm down," he says. "I need you to take a few deep breaths and look into my eyes. That's good, breathe in and out, in and out, there you go."

As her heart rates slows down, she realized that Troy still hasn't moved, as if afraid any movement at all will send her into a tailspin. His deep blue eyes watched her warily. Humiliation intrudes again when it dawns on her that she was sitting on his groin, and she could feel his hard ridge between her thighs. Her emotions and hormones are all over the place, and she couldn't seems to control either one; maybe distance is necessary. Rising slowly, she waits as he stands up to tower over her.

Even with his towering height and massive width, she feel so safe with this man; craving him like no other before. He grabs her hand and led her to the bed. Leaning down, Troy moves her hair away from her neck to check the cut. She opened her mouth to tell him it's okay, but the look he gives her shuts her up, and she lower her eyes to her lap. When he walks away, her mind knows he's only going into the bathroom, but her heart clenches with agony that it symbolizes the final straw. If he sends her away, it's because of her actions tonight; her irrational behavior just proves how unstable she is. Who does that? Who would contemplate suicide rather than be taken?

Realizing in that moment of weakness how selfish she had become overwhelms her with grief. Tears spill from her eyes at how ashamed she is of herself. She had left her sister to these monsters that abuses, rapes, and sells women to other countries, instead of trying to figure out how to find and save her. In her moment of panic, she was willing to end it all before she can be touched again.

"Oh my God! How long did he say I've been here? Was it eight or nine days? My sister could be long gone by now, sold, never to be found again. Being the big sister, I am supposed to protect her, and I've failed. Even with the beatings, car crash, and temporary memory loss, I am the lucky one. I'm free! Does she fight them as I did? Do they beat her daily for her defiance? Have they raped her to teach her a lesson in submission? I have so many questions and not enough time; I have to save my sister. "

All trauma victims go through a series of emotions that usually end in shock. he could not fault her for her erratic behavior, but right now his goal is to assess the damage first and beg for forgiveness later. He should have never left her, even for a little while, although he's now relieved to have some new information. When he returned to her side, the look on her face almost drags him to his knees right then. Wound first; kiss ass later.

She never heard his footsteps but felt the light brush of his hand upon her shoulder. She couldn't bring herself to look at him knowing that he is probably just as disappointed in her as she is in herself. How could he not be? She let him take her virginity without even knowing his name, and then she tried to kill herself instead of fight. He knelt down in front of her and pushes her hair behind her shoulder to place a wet washcloth at her neck. He works silently to apply ointment on her cut and covers it with a bandage.

When he's done, he lifted her chin with his fingers to look her in the eyes. Maybe he was sure he's trying to assess how sane she was.

"I remember things," She blurts out, "and before I forget, I need to tell you what I know so we can help my sister, Tori; she won't have much time. There was a car crash, and that is the only reason I am free now. They were tired of trying to break me, so instead of explaining their poor choice of female, they were selling me, not to one of their usual buyers but someone in Canada. If only I would've cooperated I could still be with Tori. Oh my God! What have I done? We have to go back; we have to get her out of there".

"Slow down, Baby. Take a deep breath."

When Troy realizes that she's been relatively calm, he stood up and held out his hand. She reached up and place her fingers on his so he could pull her up. He grabs a blanket off the end of the bed and wraps it around her, using it to pull her closer to his body.

"Let's go down into the living room and sit by the fire. You are shaking like a leaf."

Troy seems to be uncomfortable in the bedroom where they both shared the most amazing night of her life, but apparently, it was not his. Could she be more humiliated?

Troy leads and she follows, more comfortable with him than she's ever been with anyone ever, even though she feels as if another shoe is about to drop. He places her in the center of the sofa and turned to start a fire. She watched in amazement as the stretches of his t-shirt glides across his broad back. His biceps bulge as he easily throws logs on to ignite. She was becoming exceedingly warm even without the fire. How will she survive it if he truly sends her away from him? She knows it is too soon, but she thinks she's already in love with this man. Not only did he save her life; this man has given her pleasure beyond her wildest dreams.

As he turns to her, his look of concern does not bode well. He thinks she's crazy and probably can't wait to get rid of this burden that she had become regardless of the intimacy they've shared. He walks slowly to the couch as if afraid she will spook. She drops her eyes to her lap. She was afraid he will look into her eyes and see how much vulnerable she'd become. She was probably needier than anyone he had ever came across, and he was trying to figure out a way to break it to her gently. He carefully placed his hand under her knees with the other one at her lower back and lifts her into his arms. Turning slowly, he settles into the corner of the couch. Spreading his legs, he places her in the V of his thighs and pulls her body into his chest. Wrapping his arms softly around her, he sighs and kisses the top of her head.