Eternal Rain

The flash of the cameras almost blinded me as I walk down the aisle with my father. Everything was white, the smell of lavender roaming the church. Everybody's gaze was fixed on me, smiling all the time, while I am on the verge of breaking down.

Rico is waiting with a smile by the altar, and because of Rico's request, kiss the rain was just recorded by Lance. Rico wanted him to be the best man and stand by his left side, while waiting for me to reach his arms.

Could it get anymore ironic and painful? Both the man I love are waiting on the other end of the aisle, the man who saved me from completely falling apart, and the man whom I love with all of my heart.

I am really blessed that somehow, in this big world where billions of people live, I managed to meet them. I can't help but to stare at them, at Rico, and admittedly, at Lance. Both of them are wearing the same color of suite, but Lance, it may be a déjà vu or something, but what he's wearing looks like the one he wore the first time I ever laid my eyes on him. Maybe that's because this is the end for us, a contrast to the beginning that he's suit projects.

Lance smiled a tight one, holding back the tears while I let mine roll down my cheeks. This is too much for him, for me.

Every step I take seems to slowly erode my heart to where Lance is. It wants to stay by his side forever. What can I do then?

The music finally reached its end and I was again wrapped in Rico's arms. I buried my face on his chest, scared to look up and see Lance's face, afraid to see his pain for I might change my groom today.

I'm so evil right? I wanted to bury myself alive somewhere where monsters live to at least compensate for my sins.

My father then shook Rico's hand and Lance tapped his shoulder.

Facing the altar, my dreams once again unfolded before my eyes, the string of hope that I keep on holding on up until now. Just now, before it snaps and before I open my eyes to see reality that I try so hard to overlook. It is the dream where Lance is the one holding my hands, the one I'm exchanging vows with, the one who is banded with our ring.

I smiled at that thought.

Then we will have many kids, and dozens of grandchildren. I can see myself and my gray hair taking beach walks with old Lance, still holding each other's hands, never letting go, and never letting the fire of love die.

"Irish Rivera, do you take Rico Matsuna as your lawfully wedded husband, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health… until death do you part?" the dreaded question broke my thought. I didn't know I was imagining for a long time.

I can't move my lips, shocked and caught off-guard. When I failed to answer immediately, murmurs erupted at our backs. I then looked at Rico, searching for the strength to go on. The look on his face was unreadable, like it was intended to confuse me. He has a small smile on, his brows furrowed. His face gives nothing away but I can feel his pain.

Somehow, by looking at me like that, I already know what my answer would be.

"I'll repeat… do you Irish Rivera, take Rico Matsuna as your lawfully wedded husband, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health… until death do you part?" the priest asked again. With all of the last bits of strength, sanity, and heart I have, I answered, knowing that my forever will now have Rico as its face, that I couldn't possibly hurt him and runaway.

"I-I do…" I closed my eyes, as the tears continued to fall. There's no backing away now. I already sentenced myself with Rico's love and care. I should let go of the feelings I have for Lance, because if not, the rain will continue to fall and the three of us will be soaked for as long as the world turns.

For now, I'll just let the tears flow, flow the Irish Rivera away, erase Blaze, and welcome Irish Matsuna. Just ravish the pain now, for Rico can't see me this way. I wanted to face him later and for the rest of my days with a contented smile, if not happy. I want to make him happy, though I know it's not that easy.

"Do you, Rico Matsuna, take Irish Rivera as your lawfully wedded wife, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health… until death do you part?" the priest asked him and I looked down. In all honesty, I hoped and wished upon the invisible stars this day, that he would not answer with "I do", but I know for a fact that if there is one impossible wish that could happen today, it would be that wish.

I have decided, and I choose to hold his heart with mine. Who knows? The day might come that I'll somehow manage to love him as much as I love Lance.

"I'm sorry…" his answer echoed the walls of the church as everybody, including me, froze in shock. I looked at him with wide, questioning eyes, confused. Did my wish just come true? Out of the blue, Rico grabbed my face and leaned his forehead on mine. Looking down, he tried to speak.

"Don't get me wrong my Irish…" he said in a hoarse voice, I could see his tears falling down and landing on my gown. I froze even more. "Before you, I never knew that such love like this exists… I always thought that if you love someone, you'd never give up and finally surrender… that you'll do everything in your power to be with that special person… but I was wrong…" he exhaled and finally drew his eyes on mine.

"What are you saying?" I croaked out, don't tell me-

"Sacrifices… I never knew what it really meant until I saw the pain lurking in your eyes whenever you lie to save my heart… and that's when I realized it… the only thing that matters is for you to be happy… you've suffered so much… I know I'd do anything to make you happy… I'd give anything to bring a smile in your lips… but I know I could never bring you the kind of bliss that Lance could give…"

"H-how did-

"I overheard you talking by the tree the night I told you about his past as Joed… your mom called me, asking me to find you because you suddenly took off without telling her… I drove, trying to find you… then I came across the tree and I saw the two of you… I sneaked and overheard your conversation… so that's how… sorry…" he said and chuckled.

"R-Rico… you know how I love you right?" I could feel the heat of his comforting hands on my face as he struggled to answer in a straight voice, trying to make things lighter.

"Yeah… I know… and thank you, that somehow, you still chose me and let go of Lance… you made me so happy… but this is for all of our sake… I don't want to live with that sad face of yours… I don't want to be the cause of your misery…" he paused, took a deep breath, and smiled again, "Do you remember what I've told you before? I said that I'll fix you right?" he asked, and I just nodded, "This is the only way that I know how to truly fix you… so now, I know that I already did everything to keep the promise…"

"I don't want to hurt you…" I blurted out, and it's the truth.

"You'll hurt me by hurting yourself… so take off, and chase you heart…" he closed his eyes and let me go, string at my tear-streaked face.

"I don't want to see you cry…" I sobbed and held his hand. He smiled and slowly pulled it away.

"Then, don't look back… I'm sure you'll see my happy face when you flash me yours…" with that, he grabbed my hand and towed me out of the church. I could hear the murmurs of the crowd as we ran out and away from them. I didn't see Lance anywhere.

"Where are we going?" I asked, clearly confused.

"To where Lance is…"

---

"You don't have to do this, I'll go by myself…" I tried to snatch my hand away from him. it was more than enough that he set me free, I don't want to burden him with things between Lance and I.

"Are you kidding? I want to take you to him personally, to place your hands on him so that I would know that I did my part well…" he said as he drove to where Lance is with a speed that violates the limit.

"Why are we in a hurry anyway?" I asked as I took the veil off my head. He didn't respond. I furrowed my brows in confusion but turned to the window. I saw the figures of planes taking off on the runway and the realization knocked my breath off. I turned back to Rico and by the look on his face, I now know why the car is flying with speed, and why his face is contorted in fear.

"Don't tell me-" I was out of breath when he drifted the car to a stop.

"His flight is 2140…" he almost shouted and jumped out of the car. I then took my seatbelt off as he strode to open my door. We ran as fast as we could, never caring even if many are throwing us incredulous and weird looks. I struggled to hold my gown up to free my legs and to run a little faster. When we reach the information desk, we were out of breath, but Rico tried to speak coherently.

"Miss… is flight 2140 still on the waiting list?" the lady checked calmly while I tapped my foot impatiently, trying to search the crowd for a chin length guy.

"Sir, it already took off for about, 15 minutes now…" she said with a smile, her words ringing in my ears. Rico looked at me dreadfully, my knees gave out as he tried to catch me.