Persistent Bugger

Saiman scanned the article.

"It's incomplete and full of garbage as always. They classify the upir as a corpse-eating undead. Look, they correctly state the upir has an enormous sexual appetite, but are unaware of the contradiction: an undead has no urge to mate, therefore an upir cannot be undead. They also mention that it will try to mate with anything mammal it can secure long enough to achieve a climax but fail to note that the product of such union usually survives to serve the upir." He dropped the article in disgust.

"If you ever need to know more about this creature, let me know."

"I will."

"So what brings you to my humble abode?"

"I need an m-scan evaluated."

He arched his eyebrow again. I could learn to hate him.

"Very well. I'll charge you by the hour. Our usual discount starting…" He glanced at his watch.

"Now. Do you want a complete workup?" he asked.

"No, just the basics. I can't afford the fancy stuff."

"Cheap client?"

"I'm working pro-bono."