Arjun's past

"Lord Arjun, I will stay with you."

The determination in her voice was gilded with a certain sweetness that made Arjun look up. But the moment Mallika's eyes met his, she suddenly realised the familiar blaze in them was altogether too fiery to be handled.

Those eyes-- that gaze was so familiar. One moment, his orbs spoke of an unknown stillness-- as if the ocean inside was absolutely unmoving, profoundly silent, unfathomably quiet. But the very next moment, they seemed to rise in waves of fervour, dancing flames of passion, of indulgence, of an exuberant and rhythmic music.

Mallika's lips parted in a vague sigh as she felt her heart beat rise. Why did she feel this unknown excitement coursing through her body? What was this ecstacy? Why had she never known this feeling before?

She lifted her hand and touched her chest to feel the agitated drumming inside. But when she looked up again, she witnessed something strange.

Arjun also had his hand over his chest. The way she was clutching her heart was the same way as he was clutching his--as if their bodies had been reacting in a similar manner. The expression on her face was the same as that on his. The way her breathing had lost its pace and gone wild was just the same as his-- as his chest rose and fell in a hurry-- as if panting for something!

Neither of them uttered a word, nor did they shift their gazes. In the flicker of the glowing fire, the silence seemed impermeable. But they did not seem to mind it at all. Or perhaps, they were not aware of the stillness in the first place.

It is said that when a relationship has hearts connected, words are of no use at all. Silence... does the talking.

When her eyes opened the next morning, Mallika found herself comfortably sleeping on the stone slab. A long coat like garment was wrapped around her carefully. The fire had long died down and the mouth of the cave was dimly lit. It must be dawn.

She sat up, stretching her limbs. Last night, Lord Arjun has told her something very exciting. They were to leave for the Vindhyas today! He said she had a grandfather who had survived the massacre then. They were going to see him.

The girl's face lit up at the very idea. She skipped out of the cave, feeling rather merry. Every moment she spent with the Lord seemed to be a reward in itself, and Mallika felt that in this short span of a few hours that she had known him, those moments of togetherness had already become her addiction. Even now, her eyes did not look up at the purple sky, rather they searched the vicinities for him.

"You are up quite early, princess."

A dark complexioned man was standing in front of her. She had seen him near the fire the previous evening, so evidently he was a Jana. Even then, the man proceeded to introduce himself.

"I am Kirti, my Lord's man," he bowed. "Are you looking for Lord Arjun?"

"I am, but my search can wait. I have a few things to ask. Can you help me?"

Kirti looked puzzled for a while, but he immediately nodded.

"I understand your Lord means no harm," Mallika chose her words carefully so as not to hurt her own and the man's feelings. "But how exactly does he know so much about me and my family?"

Kirti smiled, an uncertainty flashing through his expressions. "Don't you think he is rather familiar, princess?"

Mallika nodded. "Yes, he is. But I don't think I have ever met him before. The familiarity is very vague."

"Maybe you haven't met him before in this life," the man's eyes held a meaningful gaze.

Mallika frowned. "What do you mean? Pa..Past life? Hah! I don't think I can recall anything from my past life. Nobody can, in fact. Besides, that does not explain why he should be related to my family either."

Kirti shrugged his shoulders. "You can deny it all you want. But when the day comes, you will be drawn to the fundamental realisation of who you are. That day, you shall not be able to overlook your relationship, even if you want to do that."

His words only increased Mallika's confusion. She tilted her head to a side, looking troubled. However, Kirti continued with indifference, "The more you stay with him, the more you will remember your identity. I am sure, Lord Arjun knows what he is doing by keeping you with himself. Princess, we are all waiting for the day when you can realise yourself and unite..."

Mallika's eyes widened, "What did you say?"

Kirti looked momentarily troubled, but he immediately covered his shock up. "Unite with yourself."

Mallika realised that this approach of asking people about herself would not be a very fruitful one, so she decided to cut to the chase. "Where is Lord Arjun?"

"He is meditating, up there, on the hills."

Kirti pointed at the far distant hills to the east. Mallika followed his direction, and the moment her eyes found him, they stilled as if time itself had frozen.

On a high rock on the hilltop, she could make out his dark figure, seated in a yogic posture, deep in mediation. The golden beams of the rising sun sketched his silhouette with a dazzling brightness that resembled the hue of molten gold, and a sphere of mist seemed to be wrapping him from all sides.

"He... is an ascetic?" Mallika asked, enraptured by the blissfulness of the view.

"Yes, Lord Arjun has always been an ascetic."

"Then, did he leave his family for this?"

Kirti looked at Mallika, debating over something.

"What is it? Why are you hesitating?"

"Princess, do you want to know his origins?"

Mallika's eyes sparkled with curiosity. "Of course, what is it? Please, tell me!"

Kirti sighed, "I can only tell you about this form of his, and not who he really is. You will understand my words later.

But, Lord Arjun, as you see him, belongs to the Himalayas."

Mallika gasped. "The mountains far north?"

"Yes, the mountains to the north of Aryavarta. The abode of snow. Lord Arjun's parents belonged to a small mountain tribe residing in the Himalayas. Due to an accident, his father died before he was born. Lord Arjun was given birth posthumously by his mother, but unfortunately, she too died in child-birth."

"Oh! So he was an orphan? Was he adopted by somone from his tribe?"

"No," Kirti shook his head. "The people of that tribe considered him to be an evil omen. So they left the little baby on a forsaken stretch of the mountains, an area always covered with snow-- to perish and die."

"That's too cruel!" Mallika felt a tear roll down her cheek. But she was not in the condition to care about that in the least bit. She had never expected Lord Arjun to have such a painful past. All her attention was on Kirti's words.

"Indeed, but the child didn't die. It so happened that a group of ascetics who wanted to meditate in the Himalayas had set up their ashram near that place. One of them happened to cross nearby, and hearing the child's wails, picked him up out of compassion. He was the one who brought the baby back to the ashram and began taking care of him. He was the one who named him Arjun, after one of the names of Lord Shiva."

"Oh! So Lord Arjun was brought up by an ascetic?"

"Yes," Kirti nodded. "But when the Lord was seven years of age, a terrible landslide occured in the mountains. The entire ashram, along with all its inhabitants, was crushed in the calamity. Lord Arjun's only family, the man who had brought him up, was also killed. Once again, he was alone."

The more she listened, the more Mallika felt bad for him. He had such a strong exterior, who could ever have imagined he had so many scars within?!

"How did he sustain himself?" Mallika asked. "I have heard life in the Northern Mountains is very rugged and tough."

"That's right!" Kirti nodded in agreement. "But Lord Arjun survived. He was only a seven year old then, yet he seems to have fought against the harsh climate, hunger, injuries and fatigue-- all by himself with nobody to depend on. These are our guesses, though. He never told us what exactly he experienced at that time. He only said it was a tough phase for him. In any case, what he experienced can only be worse than our speculations. The mountains don't mercy you, after all. When he had somehow stabilised himself, he went into deep meditation in a cave. For years, he stayed in a state of profound stillness. And that was how he became who he is."

Mallika was flabbergasted. Of all things, she hadn't expected him to belong to the snowy mountains of the far north. Again, she hadn't expected him to have such a sorry past. Who knows what he had been through at such a tender age?! But his transformation, it was what awed her the most. Profound stillness... the words seemed to ring a bell somewhere in the back of her mind.

She looked up at the meditating figure on the hilltop, only to see him standing now, facing the rising sun. His majestic body glistened with an almost unreal effulgence. His long hair flowed freely with the breeze, it's strands reaching out to the four directions. There seemed to be an element of divinity in his bearing, and Mallika could only bow down to him.

But deep down, she knew she felt something else for him. A new feeling had sprouted in the garden of her heart. It wasn't simply compassion or respect, nor was it just admiration or awe. It was something she had never felt before, something that thrilled her every moment, and yet threatened to rob her of all she had.

What was this feeling? What was this sensation? Was she prepared to lose her everything, only to gain something much more?

As Arjun turned to face her, and their eyes locked despite the distance, a voice cooed in her ears. "Yes! I am!"