32. Strange Attitude

"Phi, can I say you something?" asked Javin while wiping the tears from the corners of his eyes. 

Forth pulled the blanket around Javin's waist and lay sideways on his side. His left hand supports the body while his right hand hugs Javin's waist. 

"Of course you can. Just say what you want to say," Forth said while stroking Javin's damp forehead. 

Javin stared at Forth with dim eyes. "I don't want to get my hopes up too far, but if one day you feel like you haven't found your happiness with someone else, would you try to find me again and give me a chance to try to make you happy?" 

Forth's hand movement stopped midair.  He looked at Javin carefully. "Why do you say that? You know how I feel about you, right?" 

Javin raised his hand and stroked Forth's cheek gently. "I know, but I also realize, right now you haven't met the person you are looking for and she is someone who has made a very deep impression on your life, so you keep looking for her even if everything about her is not clear. Later, when you finally meet,  I too should probably step aside and shouldn't get in the way between you two." 

Forth took Javin's hand and held it tightly. "No! You can't say that. You are a precious part of my life and you can't go anywhere." 

Javin smiled and reached out to hug Forth. They hugged each other in silence, listening to each other's heartbeats. 

Javin suddenly broke away from Forth's arms. "Phi... umm... can I... uh, help you?" asked Javin nervously with a blushing face. 

Forth looked at Javin with a frown.  "Help me with what?" 

Javin didn't answer, just shifted his gaze downwards. Forth followed Javin's gaze and saw a bulge in the middle of his pants. 

Instantly Forth understood. He chuckled and kissed Javin's forehead. "No, don't worry. I'll take care of it myself. You just rest. I'll be right back." 

Javin hid his face behind the pillow when Forth went to the bathroom. Javin quickly cleared himself and went downstairs. He went to the kitchen to prepare snacks.

He and Forth still have to prepare documents to give to Shone and Jock, because they will represent Forth to negotiate with clients as long as they go to Forth's parents' house.

Forth came down after a while, carrying a stack of documents in his hand and his hair half wet. Javin put a glass of coffee and jars of snacks on the dining table, then pulled Forth to sit on the dining chair. He stood behind Forth and used a towel around Forth's neck to dry his hair.

"What time do we go tomorrow, Phi?" Javin asked while gently rubbing Forth's head.

"Hm? I'm a bit confused actually," said Forth as he stopped his movement to open a map. He looked up and looked at Javin from below. "Dinner at eight o'clock, but if we just leave here after dark, we'll definitely be late."

Javin moved Forth's head to get him to sit properly. "We can leave in the afternoon. Lately the weather is quite cool and not too bright," said Javin with a tone of caution. "You said the journey took about three hours? How about we leave around three in the afternoon?"

Forth sighed. "It was too bright. I don't like driving during the day."

Javin smiled and put the towel on the back of the chair, after he felt his hair was quite dry. He then massaged Forth's stiff shoulder. "Who said you were going to drive?"

Forth held Javin's hand on his shoulder. "You're going to drive?"

"Of course. Why?"

"The journey is far."

"Gosh, Phi, three hours isn't long. I'm used to driving for hours, longer than that."

"Three o'clock is too bright."

Javin put his chin on Forth's shoulder and rubbed his cheek against Forth's neck. "I'll bring you a blindfold. You sit in the back seat and sleep with an eye patch. Yes?"

Forth turned his head so that his lips touched Javin's cheek. He kissed Javin's cheek and stole a kiss on the young man's lips, making Javin blush.

"I'll take half a dose of sleeping pills then, before leaving."

Javin stood up straight and combed Forth's hair. "So good, even though I hope you can stay up during the trip. You have to learn to live during the day little by little, Phi."

Forth chuckled. "When other people hear your words, they must think I'm a vampire."

Javin also laughed and pulled a chair next to Forth. He opened the laptop and opened a map. "You know what I mean, Phi."

Forth did not answer. They started working in silence, only the sound of a laptop keyboard and occasional scratches from pens or sheets of paper that were reversed. After nearly two hours, Javin stretched his back straight.

"Phi, it's already two in the morning, you better sleep for a few hours. I'll bundle this report and make a copy." "

I'm not sleepy yet. Come on, let's just do it together. After that we sleep. Do you have a schedule to go to campus in the morning or afternoon?"

"Yes. Ten o'clock. I have to submit my research title approval sheet for my thesis and have lunch with August and Leon. We haven't seen each other in a long time."

"Will there be Timmy there too?"

Javin looked at Forth with a faint smile. He heard the annoyed note in Forth's voice, but saw the older man acting nonchalant as if he was just asking a question.

Javin pulled his chair closer to Forth's chair and rested his head on Forth's shoulder. "Maybe he is too."

Forth tidied up the files on the table in a stiff manner. "Oh okay."

Javin chuckled and stopped Forth's hand from moving. "Phiii... come on, you can't keep suspecting me. Or... how about you come with me to campus? So you know what I'm going to do there and not think anything out of the ordinary?"

Forth looked at Javin, then smiled weakly. "No. No. I'm fine. I don't suspect you, just a little worried. I don't like being left out."

Javin smiled. He really wanted to ask why Forth was afraid of being abandoned, why Forth was so reluctant to do outdoor activities during the day and why Forth liked being alone rather than joining other people.

"I won't be long, Phi. I promise," said Javin. "I'll prepare your breakfast and lunch, call one of your friends to come with you for lunch. I heard, Phi Harry is back from Russia."

Forth patted Javin's head gently. "Don't worry, I'll take care of it myself later. You go and meet your friends."

"Ah, Phi, I forgot. I heard that a circus from Manhattan is opening a show in a downtown square in two days. Would you mind accompanying me to see it? August and Leon are buying the tickets tomorrow, so I can pick them up for the both of us," said Javin cheerfully.

He looked at Forth and was very surprised when he saw Forth staring at him with wide eyes, pale face and trembling body.

"Phi? Gosh, what happened???" asked Javin panicked.

***