Liam and Ava

Liam finally lent me his torch, and it was already too late that night to have a talk anyway. We decided to meet up again the next day.

So, here we are, sitting side-by-side, telling each other's stories while having lunch.

"What happened to you?" I know Liam understands what I mean. We were talking about the old times like two old friends who have lost contact in years. Our conversation went well... it felt normal and natural. Until he brought up that one cold day in the frozen lake between our house. The day Lucas ran away.

He looks like he's about to throw up hearing my question, "a lot..."

Liam told me the night he ran away, Liam was swallowed by a malignant tide after a rough storm I remember hearing from Lucas as I was out cold in the hospital after falling into the ravine. "I thought it was the end for me before the army of Obel rescued me in that river."

There's an echo of my own voice in my head, cursing him and laughing at him at the same time. That's Karma for leaving me on the brink of my own death!

"I saw Lucas crossing the river with an old lady using a small boat," he frowns as if he refuses to believe what he's saying. "Maybe I was just hallucinating because it was so dark, and I was blinded by the storm." Liam shakes his head like he is trying to wash off the images inside his head. "I remember calling out his name. I was sure that he saw me that time."

His eyes become watery and red. Maybe he is just cold, not trying to hold back a cry. "But he did not go back for me. He was just...confused."

"Maybe he did not understand what was happening!" I say, trying to see the silver lining.

Liam nods his head, accepting my statement. "I don't remember much after that. The only thing I can recall is that I was drowning... and the next thing I knew, I woke up in my Camp."

Something does not sit well with me, "your Camp?"

Liam stares at me while I gather all the remaining food and pack them back inside my backpack, "haven't I told you?"

"Told me what?" I don't know much about this other Camp outside what Lucas called the village I'm staying with the same way.

"Umm..." Liam stands up to his feet and walks towards the edge of the stream. At first, I thought he was going to leave. "I live in this small village across the forest. I don't know why I keep referring to it as a Camp." He chuckles uncomfortably at the way someone accidentally slipped up a little secret.

"Oh," I don't know how to respond without masking my suspicion, so I decided not to say anything.

"I'm sorry I left you back then," he suddenly says before taking a small pebble under his feet and throwing it into the water. "When you fell over that ravine, you were actually near my hiding place. I saw you tripped over, and I ran to you as fast as I could. I was trying to wake you up, but I had to leave soon. Knowing you, if you saw me back then, I knew you wouldn't let me go." He takes another rock and throws it again into the water. He chuckles.

I can already picture him grinning awkwardly without looking at his face. It's not even something to be amused about. Me dying does not worth to be laughed about. How can he be so ignorant?

"What did you say?" the backpack I picked up falls back into the ground with a loud thump. "You saw me?"

He turns around to face me. "Yes, and I almost changed my plan because when I saw you-" his lips are pressed into a thin line, and he takes a deep breath before continuing. "I thought you were going to die. You were bleeding, and I was so shocked. I didn't know what to do."

"You could've chosen not to leave me, Liam!" I practically scream at him, storming towards him who's standing rigidly across from me. "You could have saved my life, and we wouldn't be here right now! We would be hanging out in the lake, having a picnic like we always do!"

His face is so close to me, and I can feel his cold breath brushing through my cheeks. He looks at me in the eyes, locking our gaze for an intricate minute. Concern takes over his expression.

When he mentioned me bleeding, it reminded me that Liam didn't know I was a Rebel or whoever I am now. He still thought I was an Obel just like him. Because when I fell over that ravine, that was the day when my life turned upside down. I thought Aiden was the first one to know, but it was actually Liam.

So he knew about me all these years and still keeps it quiet until this very second? Why?

Whatever his reason is, I will gladly sweep it under the rug for now.

"Ava," he takes a step closer, closing the gap between us. "I am so sorry! I know it's something that's not worth your forgiveness, but that was the only thing I had to do."

"Why?" it hurts. The way he said it, it's almost like he left me to die for the second time.

"I-" Liam hesitates for a while. "I can't tell you yet," he finally manages to say.

I just want to turn away from him and go back to my camp. It's almost a disappointment to be here right now, staring at his green eyes, only to get my heart broken constantly. He's been keeping something from me... something that even my life can't suffice.

"Fine," I sigh, letting out the frustration in me. I need to calm myself! If I let my anger takes control right now, I'd be wasting this little time I have with him. "I will just ask you one question."

"What?" Liam takes my hand and wraps his fingers around mine.

My heart flutters, but I can't let him know what he's doing to me. "How do you know about Lucas?"

The moment I mention his brother's name, Liam spaces out like the old times. His facial expression will blatantly appear as if someone just asked an inappropriate question about him. "I don't know what you're talking about-"

"You promised you would tell me everything!" I say, not even trying to beat around the bush. "If you're going to play dumb with me, so be it!"

"Ava," he untangles his shaky fingers from mine and takes several steps back. I thought he was going to run away, but he just picks up his backpack. "I can't say much," he refuses to look at me.

"Stop saying that, Liam!" I reach out to hold his arm, preventing him from walking away. "Just tell me everything I need to know!"

He sighs in defeat, "all I can tell you is that I know about the Warrior's Camp and that you're staying there with Lucas. But I promise you, I will tell you the rest of my story when the time is right!"

Should trust him?

"I'm not trying to leave you out again this time," he approaches me, and I won't budge from my place. "I'm just trying to protect you from the information that might get you in danger! We're already putting ourselves in that position by meeting out here. I hope you can understand," he holds his hand up, almost touching my face. His eyes are focused on mine as if he were asking my permission.

I nod in agreement, "okay." I put my hand over his and pressed his palm into my cheek.

His thumb caresses my skin gently, "thank you!"

We stare at each other for a whole minute, no one dares to break away first. As if we're in a trance of each other's eyes until a rustling sound from the forest jolts us back into reality.

"I-I should get going," Liam lets his hand go. There's this twitching ache in my heart as he did so. "They're probably wondering where I am right now. It's suspicious enough that I asked to gather the fish alone," he chuckles awkwardly.

"Of course," I don't want to go yet, but Lucas might have noticed my absence as well.

I still want to talk to Liam, feel his touch on my skin, and keep the image of his grown green eyes in the back of my head forever. They look the same as we were young, but there's this weariness reflecting in them that even the most beautiful color can't hide.

Those eyes look like they have seen enough suffering and dark moments that they grow accustomed to those images.

After losing him for 7 years, I feel so uncomfortable opening up again. I can't lie to myself, I am angry at him for making me get through my life without him. But it might have also been harder for him when he was all alone while I still have my family with me.

Does he even know that his house has always been empty now? Since he left, the lake we used to hang out in was covered by leaves and dead frogs.

I never really hung out there anymore because it would remind me of him, and it always made me want to drown myself there. His friends keep asking me questions about him, and everyone speculated that their whole family was deported to Faubourgh.

I couldn't sleep for months, thinking what happened if I died back then? Would I turn into a Demit? Covering up the truth is even harder. Liam rarely crossed my mind because I was too scared of myself, and all these capabilities I can do to harm someone else.

Who am I? is the only question that scares me. If Liam ever asks me that one day, I might as well just ask myself the same. Maybe he can help me in finding the answer.